Scoundrel
03-01-2012, 12:21 PM
I don't remember where I first saw this request. I think Frognog forwarded me something about it. I won't claim to be the original inventor of this, but it did inspire me.
Since then, except for orders from large chains like Amazon, I have filled out the box for special instructions, customer comment, etc. on every order I have placed online. In this area, I have typed something to the effect of "Please draw a unicorn on the package."
Most of these requests have simply been ignored. The entire point of this exercise, I think, is to highlight that most vendors don't give a wet slap WHAT the customer types in that box, and will ignore whatever is there, even if it is something like "This item is fragile. Please add extra bubble wrap." or "This order is time sensitive, which is why I selected expedited shipping. If there is any problem with this order, please call me as soon as possible." - as if maybe I selected expedited shipping because I want to support the shipping companies, or it was important to me that I could hold the resulting item and say "This item has reached an elevation of 30,000 feet and a speed of 500+ MPH!", or maybe the item just needed a little extra excitement in its life.
So, uh, where was I? Oh, yeah - Unicorns.
I have started requesting that vendors draw a unicorn on the package, partly in the interest of spicing up the dull daily lives of poor SOBs who work in warehouse picking jobs, and partly to see if anyone is watching or cares.
To date, I have received THREE responses to this (out of maybe 25 orders to non-major-chain-stores).
Yesterday, when the most recent of these arrived, my own version of Wormtongue (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gr%C3%ADma_Wormtongue) suggested that I should start blogging these. So here we go.
The first response to this request came from CandyFavorites.com (http://www.candyfavorites.com/), a bulk candy wholesaler. I ordered a large box of "Saf-T Pops (http://www.candyfavorites.com/safety-pops-bulk)". These are basically cheap kid's lollipops, only instead of a stick, they have a loop of rolled up paper. This is done so that nobody can poke their eye out, or obstruct their throat, or put the stick up their nose. MY reason for wanting these pops is so that I can hang them on tree branches and shoot at them with rifles. They make GREAT reactive targets. You KNOW when you hit one, and if the wind is in your favor, it smells great, too.
Anyway, I placed this order:
http://teamfrogdrelotep.net/wp-content/uploads/2012/02/Unicorn1.jpg
CandyFavorites.com gets uber bonus points, because not only were they the first ever to respond to this request, but they CALLED ME on the phone, told me that nobody on-site is good at drawing, and asked if it would be OK if they printed a picture and taped it to the box instead! Now THAT is customer service!
Unfortunately, I do not have a photo of the box, with the unicorn on it, to post here.
Next up came GemTech (http://www.gem-tech.com/store/pc/home.asp). They manufacture "quiet things for quiet professionals". In this case, I wanted to experiment with a compensator (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Muzzle_brake) / flash hider (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Flash_suppressor) / muzzle brake (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Muzzle_brake) on the end of a threaded rifle barrel. The threads on my rifle, however, are longer than the threads on many of these accessories. This can result in a lead / powder residue build-up on the exposed threads, making it difficult to remove the accessories without damaging them or the threads. So I ordered a spacer (http://www.gem-tech.com/store/pc/Spacer-for-22lr-Silencer-use-on-longer-threaded-barrels-8p472.htm), threaded to the exact specification of my rifle, which will cover the exposed threads.
So I placed the order, thusly:
http://teamfrogdrelotep.net/wp-content/uploads/2012/02/Unicorn2.jpg
To be honest, I totally did not expect them to respond to this. I mean, it's a fabrication company. That conjures images of this kind of guy (https://www.google.com/search?hl=en&sugexp=pfwc&gs_nf=1&tok=zjTVmpgEe894DMnFsd12Vg&cp=8&gs_id=52&xhr=t&q=machinist&pq=reactive+target&safe=off&gs_upl=&bav=on.2,or.r_gc.r_pw.r_qf.,cf.osb&ion=1&biw=1687&bih=902&um=1&ie=UTF-8&tbm=isch&source=og&sa=N&tab=wi&ei=6aFNT4aLJM-qsAL1vO0P#um=1&hl=en&safe=off&tbm=isch&sa=1&q=machinists&pbx=1&oq=machinists&aq=f&aqi=&aql=&gs_sm=3&gs_upl=6414l6414l0l6509l1l1l0l0l0l0l0l0ll0l0&fp=1&biw=1687&bih=902&bav=on.2,or.r_gc.r_pw.r_qf.,cf.osb&cad=b). But, I guess they have some admin staff of a fairer nature, and a sense of humor, because when the package arrived, it featured this:
http://teamfrogdrelotep.net/wp-content/uploads/2012/02/Unicorn2a.jpg
This one was also printed and taped, but they still get full points for it. I mean, I can't draw a unicorn either!
In the same week, I sent in order to Volquartsen Custom (https://www.volquartsen.com/). They manufacture all kinds of things for firearms. In this case, I wanted a "match trigger". A match trigger is usually not a trigger at all, which doesn't make any sense, so allow me to explain: The trigger releases the hammer. There is usually a significant amount of force pressing the hammer against the trigger, so it takes a certain amount of pressure to pull the trigger. Modern firearms in our nanny state (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nanny_state) have a hard trigger pull, for "safety" (to reduce lawsuits). Also, most of the time there is an extra amount of distance that the trigger must travel before it releases the hammer. The problem is, the pressure you put on the trigger to activate it has a tendency to move the barrel slightly, affecting your point of aim, just as you are firing. If you are using a firearm for precision target shooting (like, for example, 1.5" lollipops at 25 yards), this is an annoyance which can be corrected by replacing the hammer and/or some of the springs and other related bits to produce a shorter, lighter, crisper, more precise trigger pull.
Anyway, I placed this order:
http://teamfrogdrelotep.net/wp-content/uploads/2012/02/Unicorn3.jpg
When this package arrived, I failed to see the unicorn. However, my faithful Wormtongue spotted it and made sure I saw it. Bonus points to the folks at Volquartsen for hand-drawing it (tracing is OK too, if that is what they did - they put the effort into it, and that counts for extra).
http://teamfrogdrelotep.net/wp-content/uploads/2012/02/Unicorn3a.jpg
Two in the same week, from fabrication/manufacturing types! What are the odds on that?
I just ordered some emergency paper towels and toilet paper supplies. You know, for when the big earthquake hits and our supply lines are broken, like what happened to those poor folks in Japan after the Tsunami (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Aftermath_of_the_2011_T%C5%8Dhoku_earthquake_and_t sunami).
Anyway, I looked for the Comments field for the usual unicorn thing, and found that Shoplet.com actually tells it like it is! Their comments field says: "(For your own use only)" on it. Wow, these guys don't want you getting any illusions about whether they're paying attention to that text box.
http://teamfrogdrelotep.net/wp-content/uploads/2012/02/Unicorn4.jpg
If you enjoyed this article, check out my other works at Team Frogdrelotep (http://teamfrogdrelotep.net/?author=2)
Since then, except for orders from large chains like Amazon, I have filled out the box for special instructions, customer comment, etc. on every order I have placed online. In this area, I have typed something to the effect of "Please draw a unicorn on the package."
Most of these requests have simply been ignored. The entire point of this exercise, I think, is to highlight that most vendors don't give a wet slap WHAT the customer types in that box, and will ignore whatever is there, even if it is something like "This item is fragile. Please add extra bubble wrap." or "This order is time sensitive, which is why I selected expedited shipping. If there is any problem with this order, please call me as soon as possible." - as if maybe I selected expedited shipping because I want to support the shipping companies, or it was important to me that I could hold the resulting item and say "This item has reached an elevation of 30,000 feet and a speed of 500+ MPH!", or maybe the item just needed a little extra excitement in its life.
So, uh, where was I? Oh, yeah - Unicorns.
I have started requesting that vendors draw a unicorn on the package, partly in the interest of spicing up the dull daily lives of poor SOBs who work in warehouse picking jobs, and partly to see if anyone is watching or cares.
To date, I have received THREE responses to this (out of maybe 25 orders to non-major-chain-stores).
Yesterday, when the most recent of these arrived, my own version of Wormtongue (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gr%C3%ADma_Wormtongue) suggested that I should start blogging these. So here we go.
The first response to this request came from CandyFavorites.com (http://www.candyfavorites.com/), a bulk candy wholesaler. I ordered a large box of "Saf-T Pops (http://www.candyfavorites.com/safety-pops-bulk)". These are basically cheap kid's lollipops, only instead of a stick, they have a loop of rolled up paper. This is done so that nobody can poke their eye out, or obstruct their throat, or put the stick up their nose. MY reason for wanting these pops is so that I can hang them on tree branches and shoot at them with rifles. They make GREAT reactive targets. You KNOW when you hit one, and if the wind is in your favor, it smells great, too.
Anyway, I placed this order:
http://teamfrogdrelotep.net/wp-content/uploads/2012/02/Unicorn1.jpg
CandyFavorites.com gets uber bonus points, because not only were they the first ever to respond to this request, but they CALLED ME on the phone, told me that nobody on-site is good at drawing, and asked if it would be OK if they printed a picture and taped it to the box instead! Now THAT is customer service!
Unfortunately, I do not have a photo of the box, with the unicorn on it, to post here.
Next up came GemTech (http://www.gem-tech.com/store/pc/home.asp). They manufacture "quiet things for quiet professionals". In this case, I wanted to experiment with a compensator (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Muzzle_brake) / flash hider (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Flash_suppressor) / muzzle brake (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Muzzle_brake) on the end of a threaded rifle barrel. The threads on my rifle, however, are longer than the threads on many of these accessories. This can result in a lead / powder residue build-up on the exposed threads, making it difficult to remove the accessories without damaging them or the threads. So I ordered a spacer (http://www.gem-tech.com/store/pc/Spacer-for-22lr-Silencer-use-on-longer-threaded-barrels-8p472.htm), threaded to the exact specification of my rifle, which will cover the exposed threads.
So I placed the order, thusly:
http://teamfrogdrelotep.net/wp-content/uploads/2012/02/Unicorn2.jpg
To be honest, I totally did not expect them to respond to this. I mean, it's a fabrication company. That conjures images of this kind of guy (https://www.google.com/search?hl=en&sugexp=pfwc&gs_nf=1&tok=zjTVmpgEe894DMnFsd12Vg&cp=8&gs_id=52&xhr=t&q=machinist&pq=reactive+target&safe=off&gs_upl=&bav=on.2,or.r_gc.r_pw.r_qf.,cf.osb&ion=1&biw=1687&bih=902&um=1&ie=UTF-8&tbm=isch&source=og&sa=N&tab=wi&ei=6aFNT4aLJM-qsAL1vO0P#um=1&hl=en&safe=off&tbm=isch&sa=1&q=machinists&pbx=1&oq=machinists&aq=f&aqi=&aql=&gs_sm=3&gs_upl=6414l6414l0l6509l1l1l0l0l0l0l0l0ll0l0&fp=1&biw=1687&bih=902&bav=on.2,or.r_gc.r_pw.r_qf.,cf.osb&cad=b). But, I guess they have some admin staff of a fairer nature, and a sense of humor, because when the package arrived, it featured this:
http://teamfrogdrelotep.net/wp-content/uploads/2012/02/Unicorn2a.jpg
This one was also printed and taped, but they still get full points for it. I mean, I can't draw a unicorn either!
In the same week, I sent in order to Volquartsen Custom (https://www.volquartsen.com/). They manufacture all kinds of things for firearms. In this case, I wanted a "match trigger". A match trigger is usually not a trigger at all, which doesn't make any sense, so allow me to explain: The trigger releases the hammer. There is usually a significant amount of force pressing the hammer against the trigger, so it takes a certain amount of pressure to pull the trigger. Modern firearms in our nanny state (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nanny_state) have a hard trigger pull, for "safety" (to reduce lawsuits). Also, most of the time there is an extra amount of distance that the trigger must travel before it releases the hammer. The problem is, the pressure you put on the trigger to activate it has a tendency to move the barrel slightly, affecting your point of aim, just as you are firing. If you are using a firearm for precision target shooting (like, for example, 1.5" lollipops at 25 yards), this is an annoyance which can be corrected by replacing the hammer and/or some of the springs and other related bits to produce a shorter, lighter, crisper, more precise trigger pull.
Anyway, I placed this order:
http://teamfrogdrelotep.net/wp-content/uploads/2012/02/Unicorn3.jpg
When this package arrived, I failed to see the unicorn. However, my faithful Wormtongue spotted it and made sure I saw it. Bonus points to the folks at Volquartsen for hand-drawing it (tracing is OK too, if that is what they did - they put the effort into it, and that counts for extra).
http://teamfrogdrelotep.net/wp-content/uploads/2012/02/Unicorn3a.jpg
Two in the same week, from fabrication/manufacturing types! What are the odds on that?
I just ordered some emergency paper towels and toilet paper supplies. You know, for when the big earthquake hits and our supply lines are broken, like what happened to those poor folks in Japan after the Tsunami (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Aftermath_of_the_2011_T%C5%8Dhoku_earthquake_and_t sunami).
Anyway, I looked for the Comments field for the usual unicorn thing, and found that Shoplet.com actually tells it like it is! Their comments field says: "(For your own use only)" on it. Wow, these guys don't want you getting any illusions about whether they're paying attention to that text box.
http://teamfrogdrelotep.net/wp-content/uploads/2012/02/Unicorn4.jpg
If you enjoyed this article, check out my other works at Team Frogdrelotep (http://teamfrogdrelotep.net/?author=2)