Junes jubilous jawing and fat chewing arena

[Bawanna]

Thanks to a reminder I realized it was a new month.

This is the place for friendly chat, discussion of things happening amongst us, sharing amongst friends, without creating a bunch of cyber clogging threads.

Sadly it sometimes can be a perfect place for political or unappropriate threads. Things have been just lovely around here of late and that's a wonderful thing.

Anything inappropriate in this thread (or any other really) will be removed without fanfare or warning. I think it's a good thread but we don't want to risk losing it by abusing it.

Remember, keep it clean, remember we're family oriented, above all keep it fun.

[getsome]

Ok I'll start...My favorite June quote: Ward don't you think you were a little rough on little Beaver last night?....:banplease:...:p

[getsome]

Lord I apologize for that and be with all the starving pygmies down in New Guinea

[MW surveyor]

That's a very good "June" quote. LOL

[OldLincoln]

The Beav should have gone to the sore knuckle grammar school I attended. He'd say "Golly gee dad, you're full of it!"

[jocko]

Ok I'll start...My favorite June quote: Ward don't you think you were a little rough on little Beaver last night?....:banplease:...:p

how well I remember that quote: I wonder back then if they even knew what the connotation was then.

wow, connotation, I have no fokking clue where I got that word at. I just had some great Italian food and some veno, so hell it might not even be a word but who gives a rats ass either...

[DeaconKC]

Great quote from my partner a coupe of weeks ago to one of his parolees, "When I asked you last week, just how stupid can you be? It wasn't a challenge."

[yqtszhj]

Great quote from my partner a coupe of weeks ago to one of his parolees, "When I asked you last week, just how stupid can you be? It wasn't a challenge."

I'm gonna have to remember that one. That's funny.

[muggsy]

how well I remember that quote: I wonder back then if they even knew what the connotation was then.

wow, connotation, I have no fokking clue where I got that word at. I just had some great Italian food and some veno, so hell it might not even be a word but who gives a rats ass either...

You'll find the word connotation in the dictionary near the words cannoli and calamari. Yum.

[JFootin]

how well I remember that quote: I wonder back then if they even knew what the connotation was then.

Oh, they knew. Holywood has always tried to push against the restraints of decency. That name Beaver Cleaver was intentional.

[Tinman507]

190iqepL-G4

[muggsy]

Oh, they knew. Holywood has always tried to push against the restraints of decency. That name Beaver Cleaver was intentional.

Now Eddie.

[wyntrout]

Dang! I have never thought about his name like that... and I grew up with the Beaver!

Wynn:D

[Tinman507]

I was raised on Beaver and continue my enjoyment to this very day
:eek:

[wyntrout]

This just about says it all:

Wynn:D

[tv_racin_fan]

I met a young man whose name was Beav Beaver Beavers.

[jlottmc]

I knew a kid once named Peter Lychens (yup it's pronounced Lick-ins), his dad, Richard for the given, but as soon as you shook his hand he said call me D!ck. We tried SO very hard not to make the jokes, but they were the kind that really brought the jokes on themselves.

[Bawanna]

We have a good friend named Harold D!ck. I'm sure he went through a lot of joking and ribbing in his youth. Guess you can't choose your name.

Went to high school with a fella name Steve Gay. He got so much ribbing that when he had kids he changed his name to Guy I believe it was.
I never heard of the ribbing in school, he was a good guy, ain't seen him in years.

[JFootin]

In my home town, there was a business named Red Hickey's Alignment Service. That was a choice. Red hair or not, I wouldn't let myself be nicknamed Red if my last name was Hickey!

Of coure, there is the former Nascar driver named D!ck Trickle, otherwise known as Pecker Tracks! :rolleyes:

[Tinman507]

The Dean for Undergraduate Studies at my college was named Richard Skinner. Makes me wanna cross my legs everytime.

[Deano]

When I was growing up, the football coach at University of Oregon was D*ck Enright, and the basketball coach was D*ck Harter. I'm not making this up. The old saying was "If you can't get your d*ck enright, get your d*ck harter".

[O'Dell]

When I was a kid, we lived across the street from a lady named 'Olive' who married a guy whose last name was 'Pickle'. I think I would have found a different husband.

I once had a lady who worked for me whose last name was 'Hood' - guess what her parents named her. In the same office we had a Penny Nichols.

[SmokingGun]

I used to work with a woman whose husband's name was Harry Peters. Also know guys named D*ck Hertz and Harry Butz. :what:

[OldLincoln]

Can't figure out why folks would name their kid something that would bring ridicule. I'm bad enough carrying a string of old fashion names carried down from father to some for generations. I didn't care for mine growing up but refused to pass it on to my son, so I gave him Robert and he can call himself any of a few derivatives. I think the worse I've heard of is "Imagine Hooker" aka "Ima Hooker".

[JFootin]

True story: When my mother was a little girl (~1918), she attended a large family gathering (wedding, funeral, she couldn't remember). She saw many distant relatives there that she never saw again in her long life. Another little girl there named Yvonne kept insisting that her name was 'Y-vony' (phonetic spelling, like saying P-neumonia). All of the other kids told her that name is pronounced 'E-von', but she kept angrily insisting on the incorrect pronunciation. Finally, she went to her parents, who also insisted that her name was pronounced 'Y-vony'!

Imagine being so ignorant that you give your child a name you don't know how to correctly pronounce! :nerd:

[SmokingGun]

....used to know a woman named Anita Mann ......

[Jeremiah/Az]

I used to play poker with a bunch of Chinese men. That is where I learned to play. One of them was named Harry Dong.

[Snidely Whiplash]

Once crossed paths with a real estate developer and builder out of Tulsa, OK. His last name was 'Fail'. His parents named him 'Never'. Yep. Never Fail. It's true. Better than 'Always', I guess...

[Tinman507]

or Epic

[Snidely Whiplash]

Good Lord! I never thought of that one. For that the parents should be tarred, feathered, and run out of town on a rail.

[Deano]

Then there's the Dover family with their son Ben and their daughter Ilene. Sorry, couldn't resist. :D

[O'Dell]

....used to know a woman named Anita Mann ......

So did I, but she was a stripper. ;)

[mr surveyor]

and there's the girls from Tuna, Texas.... Iwana Goodwin and Helen Bed

[PYROhafe]

Friend of mine knew a girl named Wendy Ann Rainy. talk about parents being cruel.
What about the girl named la-a (pronounced "la dash a")

[MW surveyor]

What about the girl named la-a (pronounced "la dash a")

"The dash don't be silent"

[skiflydive]

Then there's the Dover family with their son Ben and their daughter Ilene. Sorry, couldn't resist. :D


What about Ben's friend Phil McCavitie

[Tinman507]

Anyone know the Lee sisters?
Ug, Beast and Ghast?

[jeepster09]

http://www.youtube.com/embed/HzSaoN2LdfU?fs=1

[GROTMAN]

knew a guy with the last name of Shore..named his son Rocky and his dtr Sandy. Also knew a lady obstetrician with the name slawter.. Was kind of funny when heard over the hospital speakers "Dr slawter..please report to the nursery" :p

[Jaguar]

How about the gay Irish couple, Partick Fitsgereld and Gereld Fitzpatrick.

[Jaguar]

My kids actually went to school with two kids from the same family, the older girl is named T9c (tee-nine-cee) and her brother is named Van Halen.

[getsome]

My wife's former boss was named Straton Harde...My son's best friend's name is Mike Johnson which is fine but Mikes father's first name is Richard but he goes by his nickname, D!ck, no lie!!!

[JFootin]

SOMETHING TO OFFEND EVERYONE


What is the difference between a Harley and a Hoover ?
The position of the dirt bag.

Why is divorce so expensive?
Because it's worth it.

What do you call a smart blonde?
A golden retriever.

What do lawyers use for birth control?
Their personalities..

What's the difference between a girlfriend and wife?
20 lbs.


What's the difference between a boyfriend and husband?
45 minutes.

What's the fastest way to a man's heart?
Through his chest with a sharp knife.

Why do men want to marry virgins?
They can't stand criticism.

Why is it so hard for women to find men that are sensitive, caring, and good-looking?
Because those men already have boyfriends.

What's the difference between a new husband and a new dog?
After a year, the dog is still excited to see you.

What makes men chase women they have no intention of marrying?
The same urge that makes dogs chase cars they have no intention of driving.

A brunette, a blonde, and a redhead are all in Grade 9. Who has the biggest boobs?
The blonde, because she's 18..

What's the difference between a porcupine and a BMW?
A porcupine has the pricks on the outside.

What did the blonde say when she found out she was pregnant?
'Are you sure it's mine?'

Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact?
Breasts don't have eyes.

What would you call it when an Italian has one arm shorter than the other?
A speech impediment.

What's the difference between an Australian zoo and an English zoo?
An Australian zoo has a description of the animal on the front of the cage along with a recipe.

How do you get a sweet little 80-year-old lady to say the F..... Word?
Get another sweet little 80-year-old lady to yell *BINGO*!

What's the difference between a northern USA fairytale and a southern USA fairytale?
A Northern fairytale begins 'Once upon a time..' A southern fairytale begins 'Y'all ain't gonna believe this ****...'

Why is there no Disneyland in China ?
No one's tall enough to go on the good rides

[wyntrout]

HA! :D

Finally something besides funny(?) names!

Thanks!

Wynn:)

[Tinman507]

What would you call it when an Italian has one arm shorter than the other? A speech impediment.

Uh, Jocko, is one of your arms shorter than the other? We might be on to something here.

[skiflydive]

Whats the difference between a hillbilly divorce and a tornado?

One way or the other someone's losing a mobile home...

[Tinman507]

World's Shortest Books

MY BLACK GIRLFRIENDS
By Tiger Woods
____________________________________

THINGS I LOVE ABOUT MY COUNTRY
By Jane Fonda & Cindy Sheehan
Illustrated by Michael Moore
Foreword by George Soros
____________________________________

MY CHRISTIAN ACCOMPLISHMENTS
& HOW I HELPED AFTER KATRINA
By Rev Jesse Jackson & Rev Al Sharpton
____________________________________

THINGS I LOVE ABOUT BILL
By Hillary Clinton
____________________________________

Sequel: THINGS I LOVE ABOUT HILLARY
By Bill Clinton
___________________________________

THINGS I CANNOT AFFORD
By Bill Gates
___________________________________

THINGS I WOULD NOT DO FOR MONEY
By Dennis Rodman
___________________________________

THINGS WE KNOW TO BE TRUE
By Al Gore & John Kerry
_____________________________________

GUIDE TO THE PACIFIC
By Amelia Earhart
____________________________________

HOW TO LIVE LIFE TO THE FULLEST
By Dr. Jack Kevorkian
______________________________________

TO ALL THE MEN WE HAVE LOVED BEFORE
By Ellen de Generes & Rosie O'Donnell
_______________________________________

GUIDE TO DATING ETIQUETTE
By Mike Tyson
_______________________________________

THE AMISH PHONE DIRECTORY
_______________________________________

MY PLAN TO FIND THE REAL KILLERS
By O. J. Simpson
______________________________________

HOW TO DRINK & DRIVE SAFELY
By Ted Kennedy
______________________________________

MY BOOK OF MORALS
By Bill Clinton
With introduction by
The Rev. Jesse Jackson
______________________________________

HOW TO WIN A SUPERBOWL
BY THE BUFFALO BILLS
______________________________________

AND, JUST ADDED
My Complete Knowledge of Military Strategy
By Nancy Pelosi
______________________________________

And the shorest book of them all...
THINGS I DID TO DESERVE THE NOBEL PEACE PRIZE
by Barack Obama

[GROTMAN]

10 reasons why a gun is better than a woman

#10- you can trade an old 44 for a new 22

#9- you can keep one handgun at home, and have another one for when you're on the road

#8- If you admire a friend's handgun, and tell him so,he will probably let you try it out a few times

#7- your primary handgun doesn't mind if you keep another handgun for a backup

#6- your handgun will stay with you even if you run out of ammo

#5 your handgun doesn't take up a lot of closet space

#4- handguns function normally every day of the month

#3- a handgun doesn't ask, do these new grips make me look fat?

#2- a handgun doesn't mind if you go to sleep after you use it

and the number one reason a handgun is favored over a woman


#1- you can buy a silencer for a handgun!!!

[yqtszhj]

For when our opinions are not appreciated at work:

[Tinman507]

http://i1147.photobucket.com/albums/o542/tinman507/drseussfoot1.jpg
http://i1147.photobucket.com/albums/o542/tinman507/drseussbeer.jpg
http://i1147.photobucket.com/albums/o542/tinman507/drseusshorton1.jpg
http://i1147.photobucket.com/albums/o542/tinman507/drseusscat.jpg

[Jeremiah/Az]

A blonde hollers across the river to another blonde, " How do I get on the other side of the river?" 2nd blonde," You are on the other side!"

[Barth]

My sincere apologies for the politically incorrect joke I posted.
I had reservations and they were apparently founded.
Will endeavor to persevere with restraint and decorum going forward.

Thanks for your understanding....

[Bawanna]

Only slightly over the line. I was tempted to leave it but it's my job, possibly my only job so I don't want to mess up ya know.

[Barth]

Only slightly over the line. I was tempted to leave it but it's my job, possibly my only job so I don't want to mess up ya know.

I totally get it Big Guy.
Had reservations about it from the beginning.
Should have listened to that inner voice.
We have girls on the board and I really have to be respectful of that.

Just between you and me, it was kinda funny though right?

[Bawanna]

Funny as heck. I think of young people too, course they probably know more about that stuff than I do.

[OldLincoln]

Hmmmm..... maybe we need a Redneck Forum, a Liberal Forum and a Conservative Forum and a None of the Above Forum. I have seen an "Enter At Your Own Risk" Forum with a huge disclaimer you had to accept to enter it.

Guess that would be like having a Victoria Secret Pew at church though wouldn't it. Maybe Bawanna better just keep the hedges trimmed instead.

[OldLincoln]

After all the stuff you see in the news I have to tell you I have the best 2 neighbors ever. One across the street saw my wife go splat one day and helped me scrape he up and get her inside. She followed up for a while making sure she is getting along okay. The next door neighbor saw me laying half in the garage and may have saved my life refusing to let me pass out again, this after falling off a ladder hitting my head on the concrete.

The next door guy is always trying to do stuff for me and has helped me do the normal neighbor stuff of hauling a new chair in his pickup, etc. Then tonight he calls and begs me to accept a large serving bowl of chicken and dumplings. How could I refuse. It was so good and there's enough for us both for dinner tomorrow night.

I have helped him on occasion also but nothing compared to his willingness to help.

He put me in such a good mood I won't even mention to other $%^$%^$ neighbors around. Heck if you have 2 like I have life is good.

[mr surveyor]

my son is my nextdoor neighbor

[jeepster09]

http://video.staged.com/dtglobal59/tennessee_football_coach_fired_for_making_obama_so

[LorenzoB]

my son is my nextdoor neighbor

Is that good or bad? ;)

[mr surveyor]

Is that good or bad? ;)


uuuuhhhhhh........ yes;)

[yqtszhj]

Guess that would be like having a Victoria Secret Pew at church though wouldn't it.

Now that's funny in my warped sense of humor opinion. :D

[MW surveyor]

what's with the new avatar? Bunch (herd/flock) of sheep? Did I miss something while I was in Denmark?

[Bawanna]

I've been neutered here at the dept, therefore becoming a sheep myself. Still awaiting a decision from the powers that be if I shall remain a sheep or if common sense will prevail. In city government probably not likely.
I guess sheep are people too but I'm a sheep dog myself.

[MW surveyor]

Ah yes, I remember the neutering thread!

Just remember to "endeavor to persevere"

[Bawanna]

Ah yes, I remember the neutering thread!

Just remember to "endeavor to persevere"

So your saying I should wear the ankle gun? Worn it everyday I been here 16 years plus. I took it off when this all began. Maybe I'll just strap it back on and let the chips fall where they may if I get caught. Not likely.
It's ok as long as they don't know and can't prove otherwise.

Liability can sometimes be terribly unsafe.

[getsome]

Yea but if the chips do fall hard are you really ready to be unarmed and say "Hello and welcome to Walmart" ...Just a thought...I'm still thinkin a Kahrtalk posse is in order for this situation!!!

[Bawanna]

Yea but if the chips do fall hard are you really ready to be unarmed and say "Hello and welcome to Walmart" ...Just a thought...I'm still thinkin a Kahrtalk posse is in order for this situation!!!

Actually we're most likely getting a Wal Mart here in our town in the next year or so, as usual everyone is fighting it but I'm all for it.
I'm sure they got a no gun policy too which is sad I was thinking a door greeter would be a perfect position to thin the herd so to speak.
Course it wouldn't be good for business I reckon, we could call that collateral damage. I was hoping to get an early start and be the construction gate greeter to the workers building the building. Figure I could open the gate and welcome the workers each morning. Top of the morning to you lads and lassie's, lets build some ****! Be kind of like my old construction days. Maybe I could do night security to make ends meet. Have a little bench in my shack so I could whittle grips in between perimeter patrols.

I guess the short answers is yes if I got canned I'm ready for Wal Mart, everyone has to advance in life weather they want to or not.

My wife who works here now too part time only took a couple weeks to understand that all the dinner talk I was speaking the truth. She thinks I should just take a couple weeks off and see how they fare without me.

Told her that would be tooting my own horn and I don't do that too good.

Appreciate the posse idea, be funny to see how they respond to something like that.

[MW surveyor]

Yea but if the chips do fall hard are you really ready to be unarmed and say "Hello and welcome to Walmart" ...Just a thought...I'm still thinkin a Kahrtalk posse is in order for this situation!!!

Just to let you know.....^^^I agree. Them durned chips can be pretty big and being a greeter at Walmart is a poor option when you have a job that you like doing.

Bawanna, You were posting when I wrote this. Be a good thing if you stuck around at the dept until there was a final decision. Also, your wife's idea of taking a short vacation might be in order (if possible).

Ok, maybe no more on this subject until a resolution comes in? Sorry to get you rilled up again. Peace baby :hippie:

[jlottmc]

You know, we would make one hell of an armed posse. Jocko could supply the horses too. The idea has some merit.

[OldLincoln]

Hard to ride them horses with no head tho. "I been through the desert with a horse with no head...."

As for WalMart.... They don't hire greeters around here. I tried it out for a little bit, unauthorized of course, and it was kinda fun. Discovered when you greet almost anybody with a big smile and welcome them they almost always smile and greet you back. Seems to start them off with something positive.

On a positive note, it's better to be a sheep than lamb stew.

[JFootin]

What it took to get an 8th grade education in 1895...

Remember when grandparents and great-grandparents stated that they only had an 8th grade education? Well, check this out. Could any of us have passed the 8th grade in 1895?

This is the eighth-grade final exam from 1895 in Salina , Kansas , USA . It was taken from the original document on file at the Smokey Valley Genealogical Society
8th Grade Final Exam: Salina , KS - 1895

Grammar (Time, one hour)
1. Give nine rules for the use of capital letters.
2. Name the parts of speech and define those that have no modifications.
3. Define verse, stanza and paragraph
4. What are the principal parts of a verb? Give principal parts of 'lie,''play,' and 'run.'
5. Define case; illustrate each case.
6 What is punctuation? Give rules for principal marks of punctuation.
7 - 10. Write a composition of about 150 words and show therein that you understand the practical use of the rules of grammar.


Arithmetic (Time,1 hour 15 minutes)
1. Name and define the Fundamental Rules of Arithmetic.
2. A wagon box is 2 ft. Deep, 10 feet long, and 3 ft. Wide. How many bushels of wheat will it hold?
3. If a load of wheat weighs 3,942 lbs., what is it worth at 50cts/bushel, deducting 1,050 lbs. For tare?
4. District No 33 has a valuation of $35,000.. What is the necessary levy to carry on a school seven months at $50 per month, and have $104 for incidentals?
5. Find the cost of 6,720 lbs. Coal at $6.00 per ton.
6. Find the interest of $512.60 for 8 months and 18 days at 7 percent.
7. What is the cost of 40 boards 12 inches wide and 16 ft.. Long at $20 per metre?
8. Find bank discount on $300 for 90 days (no grace) at 10 percent.
9. What is the cost of a square farm at $15 per acre, the distance of which is 640 rods?
10. Write a Bank Check, a Promissory Note, and a Receipt


U.S. History (Time, 45 minutes)
1. Give the epochs into which U.S. History is divided
2. Give an account of the discovery of America by Columbus
3. Relate the causes and results of the Revolutionary War.
4. Show the territorial growth of the United States
5. Tell what you can of the history of Kansas
6. Describe three of the most prominent battles of the Rebellion.
7. Who were the following: Morse, Whitney, Fulton , Bell , Lincoln , Penn, and Howe?
8. Name events connected with the following dates: 1607, 1620, 1800, 1849, 1865.


Orthography (Time, one hour)
[Do we even know what this is??]
1. What is meant by the following: alphabet, phonetic, orthography, etymology, syllabication
2. What are elementary sounds? How classified?
3. What are the following, and give examples of each: trigraph, subvocals, diphthong, cognate letters, linguals
4. Give four substitutes for caret 'U.' (HUH?)
5. Give two rules for spelling words with final 'e.' Name two exceptions under each rule.
6. Give two uses of silent letters in spelling. Illustrate each.
7. Define the following prefixes and use in connection with a word: bi, dis-mis, pre, semi, post, non, inter, mono, sup.
8. Mark diacritically and divide into syllables the following, and name the sign that indicates the sound: card, ball, mercy, sir, odd, cell, rise, blood, fare, last.
9. Use the following correctly in sentences: cite, site, sight, fane, fain, feign, vane , vain, vein, raze, raise, rays.
10. Write 10 words frequently mispronounced and indicate pronunciation by use of diacritical marks
And by syllabication.


Geography (Time, one hour)
1 What is climate? Upon what does climate depend?
2. How do you account for the extremes of climate in Kansas ?
3. Of what use are rivers? Of what use is the ocean?
4. Describe the mountains of North America
5. Name and describe the following: Monrovia , Odessa , Denver , Manitoba , Hecla , Yukon , St. Helena, Juan Fernandez, Aspinwall and Orinoco
6. Name and locate the principal trade centers of the U.S. Name all the republics of Europe and give the capital of each..
8. Why is the Atlantic Coast colder than the Pacific in the same latitude?
9. Describe the process by which the water of the ocean returns to the sources of rivers.
10. Describe the movements of the earth. Give the inclination of the earth.

Notice that the exam took FIVE HOURS to complete.

Gives the saying 'he only had an 8th grade education' a whole new meaning, doesn't it?!

No wonder they dropped out after 8th grade. They already knew more than they needed to know!

No, I don't have all the answers! And I don't think I ever did!

[wyntrout]

I thought Bawanna's new avatar might be a flock of sheep, but it's always hard to tell with avatars. I wish that everyone would have to post a decent sized photo in their album. I've seen some decent avatars but wanted a closer look. I'm about the only one that posts a large picture in my album... and someone asked for that!

A caution... don't post that you're going to do anything against the rules at work here. Your 'bosses" might check here like H.R. does these days with Facebook, etc.!:eek:

:behindsofa:

Wynn:)

[MW surveyor]

the old avatar back.:cheer2:

[Tinman507]

http://i1147.photobucket.com/albums/o542/tinman507/woodyallen.jpg

[jeepster09]

The History of Yodeling
Have you ever wondered where and how yodeling began?
Many years ago a man was traveling through the mountains of Switzerland .
Nightfall was rapidly approaching and he had nowhere to sleep. He went up to a farmhouse and asked the farmer if he could spend the night. !
The farmer told him that he could sleep in the barn.
As the story goes, the farmer's daughter asked her father, 'Who is that man going into the barn?'
'That fellow traveling through,' said the farmer. 'needs a place to stay for the night, so, I told him he could sleep in the barn.'
The daughter said, 'Perhaps he is hungry.' So she prepared him a plate of food for him and then took it out to the barn.
About an hour later, the daughter returned. Her clothing disheveled and straw in her hair. Straight up to bed she went.
The farmer's wife was very observant. She then suggested that perhaps the man was thirsty. So she fetched a bottle of wine, took it out to the barn,! and she too did not return for an hour. Her clothing was askew, her blouse buttoned incorrectly. She also headed straight to bed.
The next morning at sunrise the man in the barn got up and continued on his journey, waving to the farmer as he left.
When the daughter awoke and learned that the visitor was gone, she broke into tears. 'How could he leave without even saying goodbye,' she cried. 'We made such passionate love last night!'
'What?' shouted the father as he angrily ran out of the house looking for the man, who by now was halfway up the mountain.
The farmer screamed up at him, 'I'm going to get you! You had sex with my daughter!'
The man looked back down from the mountainside, cupped his hand next to his mouth, and yelled out.....'LAIDTHEOLAIDEETOO!'

[OldLincoln]

Well today it's forecast to be 108* at my house. But hey, it's a dry heat, right? I suspect I'll have to turn on the air pretty soon as it just hit 90* in the house. I'd rather have 90* all day than 40* for sure.

[JFootin]

In NC, you have to take a handgun training course under a certified instructor before you apply for a CC permit. So I did it today. All day long; 8-4. I had to set my alarm at 6am! :eek: Got a quick bath and ate a steak biscuit for breakfast, then went on a 40 minute drive way back in the boonies where I joined 10 other men and women for the class. The teacher is a certified NRA instructor, as well as being certified by the NC agency. Very bright and a good teacher, though my gun knowledge is superior in a lot of respects. His biggest miss was, if you can believe this, he didn't know that 1911s are single action! I shared my knowledge with him about that, but for the most part I just kept my mouth shut and played nice. :2rolleyes:

All morning, he informed us regarding NC gun laws. There have been some significant changes for the better in the last couple of years since they got a Republican majority in Raleigh. The NC CC permit only covers hand guns and no other form of weapon. One thing I really don't like is that you cannot legally do a FTF sale off the books; it is considered an illegal "straw sale." I don't think it very likely that they would pass a law to make it legal. :mad: We took a little one page true/false test, which I aced, and we broke for lunch.

After 1/2 hour lunch break, he was explaining basic knowledge about hand guns; revolvers and semi-autos, single and double action triggers, gun handling basics, etc. Boring! :cool:

After a break, he explained his range rules, after which we went to his little shed roofed range to do the shooting part of the qualification. Each of us had to shoot a total of 30 rounds at full size silhouette targets, some at 3 yds, some at 5 yds and some at 7 yds. I used my CM9 and some 115 gr S&B FMJ ammo (which I like better than the other range ammo (WWB, Magtech, USAammo 124 gr) that I have tried. I wasn't trying to make a 1" grouping (as if I could do that! :o), just put them in the target. I had a few fliers, but most of my shots went in the middle; all of them in the man's body (can you say DRT? :D)

I had a little frown maker: near the end, my front sight blew off and got lost! :( It had been removed when the slide was mirror polished before I bought the gun. They must not have got it reinstalled tight enough. No biggie. I am going to look at getting some FO sights for it. :cool:

I am going to call the county sheriff's office Monday and find out when I can go there and get the process started to get my CC permit, which I have heard can take a few weeks. It's good for 5 years and I don't have to take the class again when I renew as long as I don't let it expire.

[GROTMAN]

JFOOTIN..congrats !! I guess already thought you had your permit though. Took me 3 weeks to the day to get my permit once I applied in Alexander county.. My wife is taking the class this coming Monday. I think it will be a one of a kind experience for her instructor :2rolleyes:

[Bawanna]

1911's are single action? Whodathunk?

This is why I detest mandatory classes for CCW. Many people I'm sure need them, some need them very badly.

I just don't usually agree with how they determine who the experts are.

I'm all for learning and I truly believe we can all improve ourselves everyday in many areas, I just can't handle big brother saying I gotta attend Bubba's gun class to get a CCW.

[JFootin]

JFOOTIN..congrats !! I guess already thought you had your permit though. Took me 3 weeks to the day to get my permit once I applied in Alexander county.. My wife is taking the class this coming Monday. I think it will be a one of a kind experience for her instructor :2rolleyes:

I still had my GA CC permit, but it expires at the end of this year. So, time to get my NC permit.

[melissa5]

Friday, my boss had me to call the store and ask if they had any nipple drinkers in stock. I never imagined myself being a part of any conversation involving nipple drinkers or semen tanks. :p

[JFootin]

... No biggie. I am going to look at getting some FO sights for it. :cool:


Does anyone sell a set of front and rear FO sights for the Kahr CW/CM guns? I know Kahr sells a red FO front sight (http://www.kahr.com/Sights/Kahr-CW-Series-Fiber-Optic-Front-Sight.asp) for them. But I don't want to have to pay an additional $50 for the Williams Firesight set (http://www.kahr.com/Sights/Kahr-Williams-Firesights-Red-set.asp) in order to get the rear sight.

Thanks for all the suggestions, everyone. :blushing:

I decided to buy the Dawson Precision Fiber Optic Front Sight (http://www.dawsonprecision.com/ProductDetail.jsp?LISTID=80000C9C-1278686088). It seems to be good quality. Same price ($39.00) as the unnamed one on the Kahr website with probably cheaper shipping ($4.25). I may get the FO rear sight later on.

[yqtszhj]

Friday, my boss had me to call the store and ask if they had any nipple drinkers in stock. I never imagined myself being a part of any conversation involving nipple drinkers or semen tanks. :p

Now that's funny. :D

[jeepster09]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H3Az0okaHig&feature=youtu.be

[jeepster09]

WHY OUR HEALTH CARE COSTS ARE SO HIGH!!! :eek:




Kevin had shingles.
Those of us who spend much time in a doctor's office
should appreciate this! Doesn't it seem more and more that
physicians are running their practices like an assembly line?
Here's what happened to Kevin:



Kevin walked into a doctor's office and the
receptionist asked him what he had. Kevin said: 'Shingles.' So she
wrote down his name, address, medical insurance number and told him
to have a seat.



Fifteen minutes later a nurse's aide came out and
asked Kevin what he had...
Kevin said, 'Shingles.' So she wrote
down his height, weight, a complete medical history and told Kevin
to wait in the examining room.



A half hour later a nurse came in and asked Kevin
what he had. Kevin said, 'Shingles..' So the nurse gave Kevin a
blood test, a blood pressure test, an electrocardiogram, and told
Kevin to take off all his clothes and wait for the
doctor.


An hour later the doctor came in and found Kevin
sitting patiently in the nude and asked Kevin what he
had.



Kevin said, 'Shingles.' The doctor asked,
'Where?'
Kevin said, 'Outside on the truck. Where do you want me
to unload 'em??' :31:

[jeepster09]

http://i691.photobucket.com/albums/vv276/jeepster09/gimmiemoney.jpg

[crazymailman]

In NC, you have to take a handgun training course under a certified instructor before you apply for a CC permit. So I did it today. All day long; 8-4. I had to set my alarm at 6am! :eek: Got a quick bath and ate a steak biscuit for breakfast, then went on a 40 minute drive way back in the boonies where I joined 10 other men and women for the class. The teacher is a certified NRA instructor, as well as being certified by the NC agency. Very bright and a good teacher, though my gun knowledge is superior in a lot of respects. His biggest miss was, if you can believe this, he didn't know that 1911s are single action! I shared my knowledge with him about that, but for the most part I just kept my mouth shut and played nice. :2rolleyes:

All morning, he informed us regarding NC gun laws. There have been some significant changes for the better in the last couple of years since they got a Republican majority in Raleigh. The NC CC permit only covers hand guns and no other form of weapon. One thing I really don't like is that you cannot legally do a FTF sale off the books; it is considered an illegal "straw sale." I don't think it very likely that they would pass a law to make it legal. :mad: We took a little one page true/false test, which I aced, and we broke for lunch.

After 1/2 hour lunch break, he was explaining basic knowledge about hand guns; revolvers and semi-autos, single and double action triggers, gun handling basics, etc. Boring! :cool:

After a break, he explained his range rules, after which we went to his little shed roofed range to do the shooting part of the qualification. Each of us had to shoot a total of 30 rounds at full size silhouette targets, some at 3 yds, some at 5 yds and some at 7 yds. I used my CM9 and some 115 gr S&B FMJ ammo (which I like better than the other range ammo (WWB, Magtech, USAammo 124 gr) that I have tried. I wasn't trying to make a 1" grouping (as if I could do that! :o), just put them in the target. I had a few fliers, but most of my shots went in the middle; all of them in the man's body (can you say DRT? :D)

I had a little frown maker: near the end, my front sight blew off and got lost! :( It had been removed when the slide was mirror polished before I bought the gun. They must not have got it reinstalled tight enough. No biggie. I am going to look at getting some FO sights for it. :cool:

I am going to call the county sheriff's office Monday and find out when I can go there and get the process started to get my CC permit, which I have heard can take a few weeks. It's good for 5 years and I don't have to take the class again when I renew as long as I don't let it expire.

JFootin, where did you go for your training? From your description,it sounds as if you may have gone to the same range that I went to for my qualification.

[GROTMAN]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H3Az0okaHig&feature=youtu.be

I think the devil took notes and listened to him. BTW laughed out loud about the Shingles!!

[JFootin]

JFootin, where did you go for your training? From your description,it sounds as if you may have gone to the same range that I went to for my qualification.

I went to Bobby Edwards class out in the boonies near Beech Glen.

[crazymailman]

Nope, I guessed wrong. Is Beech Glen near Beech Mtn?

[JFootin]

Nope, I guessed wrong. Is Beech Glen near Beech Mtn?

Beech Glen is in Madison County about 20 miles north of Asheville.

[TheTman]

I was in a pub last Saturday night, and drank a few, and noticed two very large women by the bar. They both had pretty strong accents, so I asked, "Hey, are you two ladies from Ireland?"
One of them chirped saying, "It's WALES, you friggin' idiot!"
So, I immediately apologized and said, "I'm sorry, are you two whales from Ireland ?"

That's pretty much the last thing I remember...

[wyntrout]

http://sphotos.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ash4/270830_351429291596878_20387893_n.jpg

Wynn:D

[Snidely Whiplash]

I was in a pub last Saturday night, and drank a few, and noticed two very large women by the bar. They both had pretty strong accents, so I asked, "Hey, are you two ladies from Ireland?"
One of them chirped saying, "It's WALES, you friggin' idiot!"
So, I immediately apologized and said, "I'm sorry, are you two whales from Ireland ?"

That's pretty much the last thing I remember...

Now, that is funny. :D

Thanks, thetmanski.

PS Yours is funny, too, wyntrout, but I would need to be very careful as to whom I forwarded it.

[JFootin]

"Laws that forbid the carrying of arms ... disarm only those who are neither inclined nor determined to commit crimes... Such laws make things worse for the assaulted and better for the assailants; they serve rather to encourage than to prevent homicides, for an unarmed man may be attacked with greater confidence than an armed man." --Cesare Beccaria, On Crimes and Punishment, quoted by Thomas Jefferson in Commonplace Book

[jeepster09]

A woman brought a very limp duck into a veterinary
surgeon. As she laid her pet on the table, the vet

pulled out his stethoscope and listened to the bird's

chest.



After a moment or two, the vet shook his head and

sadly said, "I'm sorry, your duck, Cuddles, has

passed away."



The distressed woman wailed, "Are you sure?"

"Yes, I am sure. Your duck is dead," replied the

vet..



"How can you be so sure?" she protested. "I mean

you haven't done any testing on him or anything.

He might just be in a coma or something."



The vet rolled his eyes, turned around and left the

room. He returned a few minutes later with a black

Labrador Retriever. As the duck's owner looked on

in amazement, the dog stood on his hind legs, put his

front paws on the examination table and sniffed the

duck from top to bottom. He then looked up at the

vet with sad eyes and shook his head.



The vet patted the dog on the head and took it out

of the room. A few minutes later he returned with

a cat. The cat jumped on the table and also delicately

sniffed the bird from head to foot. The cat sat back

on its haunches, shook its head, meowed softly and

strolled out of the room.



The vet looked at the woman and said, "I'm sorry,

but as I said, this is most definitely, 100% certifiably,

a dead duck."



The vet turned to his computer terminal, hit a few keys

and produced a bill, which he handed to the woman..

The duck's owner, still in shock, took the bill. "$150!"

she cried, "$150 just to tell me my duck is dead!"



The vet shrugged, "I'm sorry. If you had just taken my

word for it, the bill would have been $20, but with the

Lab Report and the Cat Scan, it's now $150."

[Snidely Whiplash]

I hope my vet never sees this - he just might try it. :2rolleyes:

[MW surveyor]

See how you do.

1. What do you put in a toaster?
The answer is bread. If you said "toast", then give up now and go do something else. Try not to hurt yourself. If you said, "bread", go to question 2.


2. Say "silk" five times. Now spell "silk". What do cows drink?
Answer: Cows drink water. If you said "milk", please do not attempt the next question. Your brain is obviously overstressed and may even overheat. It may be that you need to content yourself with reading something more appropriate such as "Children's World". If you said, "water" then proceed to question three.


3. If a red house is made from red bricks and a blue house is made from blue bricks and a pink house is made from pink bricks and a black house is made from black bricks, what is a greenhouse made from?
Answer: Greenhouses are made from glass. If you said "green bricks", what the heck are you still doing here reading these questions? If you said "glass", then go on to question four.


4. Twenty years ago, a plane is flying at 20,000 feet over Germany. If you will recall, Germany at the time was politically divided into West Germany and East Germany. Anyway, during the flight, TWO of the engines fail. The pilot, realizing that the last remaining engine is also failing, decides on a crash landing procedure. Unfortunately the engine fails before he has time and the plane crashes smack in the middle of "no man's land" between East Germany and West Germany. Where would you bury the survivors - East Germany or West Germany or in "no man's land"?
Answer: You don't, of course, bury survivors. If you said ANYTHING else, you are a real dunce and you must NEVER try to rescue anyone from a plane crash. Your efforts would not be appreciated. If you said, "Don't bury the survivors" then proceed to the next question.


5.If the hour hand on a clock moves 1/60th of a degree every minute then how many degrees will the hour hand move in one hour?
Answer: One degree. If you said "360 degrees" or anything other than "one degree", you are to be congratulated on getting this far, but you are obviously out of your league. Turn your pencil in and exit the room. Everyone else proceed to the final question.

6. Without using a calculator - You are driving a bus from London to Milford Haven in Wales. In London, 17 people get on the bus. In Reading, six people get off the bus and nine people get on. In Swindon, two people get off and four get on. In Cardiff, 11 people get off and 16 people get on. In Swansea, three people get off and five people get on. In Carmathen, six people get off and three get on. You then arrive at Milford Haven. What was the name of the bus driver?
Answer: Oh, for heaven sake! It was YOU, Read the first line!!!

[Bawanna]

Time to dig out my body cast again, I think I busted a rib.

But, but, but what if I don't have a bus driver license?

[Tinman507]

http://profile.ak.fbcdn.net/hprofile-ak-snc4/41575_188015099212_3885259_n.jpg

[MW surveyor]

A man wakes up in the hospital bandaged from head to foot.

The doctor comes in and says, "Ah, I see you've regained consciousness. Now you probably won't remember, but you were in a huge pile-up on the freeway. You're going to be okay, you'll walk again and everything, however, your ***** was severed in the accident and we couldn't find it."

The man groans, but the doctor goes on, "You have $9000 in insurance compensation coming and we now have the technology to build a new *****. They work great but they don't come cheap. It's roughly $1000 an inch."

The man perks up.

"So," the doctor says, "You must decide how many inches you want. But I understand that you have been married for over thirty years and this is something you should discuss with your wife. If you had a three incher before and get a nine incher now she might be a bit put out. If you had a nine incher before and you decide to only invest in a three incher now, she might be disappointed. It's important that she plays a role in helping you make a decision."

The man agrees to talk it over with his wife.

The doctor comes back the next day, "So, have you spoken with your wife?"

"Yes I have," says the man.

"And has she helped you make a decision?"

"Yes" says the man.

"What is your decision?" asks the doctor

"We're getting granite counter tops." :eek:

[Tinman507]

http://i72.photobucket.com/albums/i191/hissyspit/RimShotJohnnyUtah.jpg

[MW surveyor]

Tinman - you certainly have a quick reply! Just where are you getting all of these? Inquiring minds want to know.

BTW - Haiti is one of the absolute last places I would ever go for a vacation and I've been in some very bad places. :)

[Tinman507]

Actually, Labadee Haiti is a private resort located on the northwest coast of Haiti. It's owned and operated by Royal Caribbean Cruise lines. It's one of the stops on a lot of their cruises. It's a playground with an incredible Zip Line and a lot of other activities.

Yeah, it's in Haiti and outside the walls of the resort it's pretty primitive but the money stays local and helps the people there.

http://www.royalcaribbean.com/findacruise/ports/group/home.do?portCode=LAB

[Bawanna]

That's a really big boat, I been on a really big boat once.

[mr surveyor]

it's almost July

[MW surveyor]

That's what I've been thinking.

Do you think he's gonna miss it again?

[Tinman507]

I think he'll get the hint

[mr surveyor]

should someone wake him up?

[yqtszhj]

Actually, Labadee Haiti is a private resort located on the northwest coast of Haiti. It's owned and operated by Royal Caribbean Cruise lines. It's one of the stops on a lot of their cruises. It's a playground with an incredible Zip Line and a lot of other activities.

Yeah, it's in Haiti and outside the walls of the resort it's pretty primitive but the money stays local and helps the people there.

http://www.royalcaribbean.com/findacruise/ports/group/home.do?portCode=LAB

I spent about 7 days in the mid-80's on the not so nice side of Haiti delivering relief supplies. It was like everything that you see about the most impoverished and corrupt situations in Africa. Either Papa Doc or Baby Doc were in power then. I can't remember which one.

The funniest thing I remember was a sail boat pulled up beside our ship with things to take to market. There was a bull in the boat. They tied a rope around the bulls head and hoisted it up the mast then threw it overboard. A guy then raced down the dock to catch the bull when it swam to shore. Pretty efficient. Then there was either Tuesday or Thursday that were VooDoo services. You could hear the drums. I opted to stay onboard ship that night.