Novembers Notions and Happy Thoughts Place

[jocko]

now thats a good one...

[MW surveyor]

for the t-rex

[JFootin]

T-rex? What T-rex? Those aren't bosoms, those are bazooms! :eek:

[jocko]

and I guess u have an issue with that huh??? Just think of it like be stranded on an island with those bazooms---0 yes life is now looking much better ain't it???/ Just sayin

I have anaked photo of Peloisie, if u want sumpin to make ur one appendage crawl back where it came from.

[MW surveyor]

No thanks, it is small enough as it is (especially when frightened).

[GROTMAN]

Anyone know what gun that is ???

http://thechive.files.wordpress.com/2011/08/flbp-lower-back-problmes-23.jpg?w=500&h=705

[Bawanna]

That's your basic Triple D 92 Beretta from the custom shop. It comes with the with the blow up doll holding it for display purposes.

[GROTMAN]

Definitely makes me want to expand.. my knowledge of guns ;)

[Scoundrel]

Here's a fun little video.

I tested it with a browser that wasn't logged into Facebook, and it worked. Looks like you don't need an account to view it. Apologies if anyone has trouble seeing it.

https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?v=10151909916378484

[Bawanna]

That looks an awful lot like your SUV scoundrel. Not you huh?

[jocko]

Here's a fun little video.

I tested it with a browser that wasn't logged into Facebook, and it worked. Looks like you don't need an account to view it. Apologies if anyone has trouble seeing it.

https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?v=10151909916378484

are the kinds of road rage that sometimes turns into a shootin rage. both drivers IMO A$$HOLES. jUST sayin

I have learned when riding mY harley to not fokk with truckers. Its easy to tell when one wants to fokk with u, so I just give him all the birth he needs..I have yet to see any motorcycle force a semi off the road:popcorn: Just sayin

[Scoundrel]

That looks an awful lot like your SUV scoundrel. Not you huh?

Now, how could I have been filming the video, if I was in the SUV?

[Bawanna]

But I was right, I'm constantly testing myself for memory loss and I seem to recall you in a very similar SUV, even close to the same color.
Tell me I'm ok.

[OldLincoln]

You're okay Bawanna, I don't care what Scoundrel says.

On another note, I think I'm seeing a whole lot of people that are hoping the Mayan end of the world thing is true as they are out shopping and burning gas as if they don't have a care.

If there is a January 2013, I predict we'll begin to see a big spike in unemployment, foreclosures, and bankruptcy filings, followed by a similar spike in divorces and family violence. Sometimes it's easier to pretend the future doesn't exist or ignore it once you are already over the edge.

[GROTMAN]

http://sphotos.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-snc6/65782_3474424623053_1344314509_3345208_666084107_n .jpg

[jocko]

ended Nov. 6th, by my accounts. Just sayin

[mr surveyor]

ended nov. 6th, by my accounts. Just sayin




bingo

[Scoundrel]

If this is true, it's funnier than hell. It's funny even if it isn't true.

It's a 3-minute audio thing, wherein this guy was leaving a voice mail for his boss when he witnessed a traffic accident involving some dude and four little old ladies, who then proceed to be very mean, and basically force him to leave the scene.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TN8YQVM1GQI

[Tinman507]

From my daughter who works for Best Buy

https://sphotos-a.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-prn1/68067_10151512723488835_1537751950_n.jpg

[GROTMAN]

THINK THEY'RE RELATED ?
http://sphotos-a.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-snc7/315355_402981056417444_1086277053_n.jpg

[jeepster09]

Investment Advice

If you had purchased $1,000 of shares in Delta Airlines one year ago, you
would have $49.00 today!

If you had purchased $1,000 of shares in AIG one year ago, you would have
$33.00 today.

If you had purchased $1,000 of shares in Lehman Brothers one year ago, you
would have $0.00 today.

But, if you had purchased $1,000 worth of beer one year ago, drank all the
beer, then turned in the aluminum cans for the recycling refund, you would
have received $214.00.

Based on the above, the best current investment plan is to drink
heavily & recycle.

It is called the 401-Keg.

And as a bonus...

A recent study found that the average American walks about 900 miles a
year. Another study found that on average Americans drink 22 gallons of
alcohol a year. That means that the average American gets about 41 miles
to the gallon! :eek:

[OldLincoln]

And in 1994 if my stockbroker hadn't talked me out of investing $50K in a relatively unknown company called Dell, I would have over $4 Million today. They sounded like government, we know better than you where to invest your hard earned money.

[yqtszhj]

And in 1994 if my stockbroker hadn't talked me out of investing $50K in a relatively unknown company called Dell, I would have over $4 Million today. They sounded like government, we know better than you where to invest your hard earned money.

I've realized that most of those guys aren't any smarter than me and you. They have more time to sit around and read all the :blah: that the company's are telling. A little common sense goes a LONG way.

I remember warren buffet saying he looks at what people like when he invest. Seems like he got advise on what teens liked from his grand kid and bought Nike when it was cheap. Well, he made money on that one... Common sense rules, and a little luck doesn't hurt either

[OldLincoln]

What gripes my bones is I KNEW Dell inside and out!! I studied their company and top personnel and bought several computers for the company I worked for. I was intrigued by the business model and Michael Dell who staffed the company with older more experienced people than himself. I knew he would be successful, but I opened a new account with Smith Barney who were supposed to be very good. In essence they BS'd me into trusting their judgement. It was later that I realized all they knew is what the daily conference call with NY told them.

I thought I made the last of that mistake when we bought a set of Collier Encyclopedias in 1966. The books were free. All we paid for was the stand that came with them and the annual updates. After all we didn't want our far in the future kids to grow up stupid did we? Oh yeah, we had to promise that we would prominently display our beautiful books also.

Grrrrrrrr.... fooled me once shame on them, but twice is on me.

[jeepster09]

Beautiful necklace
An old but beautiful story of marriage and the communication between a husband and his wife.
A couple was Christmas shopping at the mall on Christmas Eve and the mall was packed.
As the wife walked through the mall she was surprised to look up and see her husband was nowhere around. She was quite upset because they had a lot to do.
Because she was so worried, she called him on her mobile phone to ask him where he was.

In a calm voice, the husband said, "Honey, you remember the jewelry store we went into about 5 years ago where you fell in love with that diamond necklace that we could not afford and I told you that I would get it for you one day?"

The wife choked up and started to cry and said, "Yes, I remember that jewelry store."

He said, "Well, I'm in the bar right next to it." :001_tt2:

[jeepster09]

Johnny's uncle Ted

Yesterday Little Johnny's teacher asks the class to go home and think of a story to be concluded with the moral of that story. The following day the teacher asks for the first volunteer to tell their story.

Little Suzy raises her hand. "My dad owns a farm and every Sunday we load the chicken eggs on the truck and drive into town to sell them at the market. Well, one Sunday we hit a big bump and all the eggs flew out of the basket and onto the road."

When the teacher asked for the moral of the story, Suzy replied, "Don't keep all your eggs in one basket."

Little Lucy went next. "My dad owns a farm too. Every weekend we take the chicken eggs and put them in the incubator. Last weekend only eight of the 12 eggs hatched.";

Again, the teacher asked for the moral of the story.

Lucy replied, "Don't count your chickens before they hatch."

Next up was little Johnny. "My uncle Ted fought in the Vietnam war, and his plane was shot down over enemy territory. He jumped out before it crashed but could only take a case of beer, a machine gun and a machete. On the way down, he drank the case of beer. Then he landed right in the middle of 100 Vietnamese soldiers. He shot 70 with his machine gun, but then he ran out of bullets! So he pulled out his machete and killed 20 more. Then the blade on his machete broke, so he killed the last ten with his bare hands."

The teacher looked a little shocked. After clearing her throat, she asked what possible moral there could be to this story.

"Well," Johnny replied, "Don't f*** with Uncle Ted when he's been drinking.":40:

[jeepster09]

A little girl asked her mom, "Mom, may I take the dog for a walk
around the block?"

Mom replies, “No because she is in heat."

"What's that mean?" asked the child.

"Go ask your father. I think he's in the garage."

The little girl goes to the garage and says, "Dad, may I take Belle
for a walk around the block? I asked Mom, but she said the dog was in
heat, and to come to you."

Dad said, "Bring Belle over here." He took a rag, soaked it with
gasoline, and scrubbed the dog's backside with it to disguise the
scent, and said "OK, you can go now, but keep Belle on the leash and
only go one time round the block."

The little girl left, and returned a few minutes later with no dog on
the leash. Surprised, Dad asked, "Where's Belle?"

The little girl said, "She ran out of gas about halfway down the
block so another dog is pushing her home."

[jeepster09]

One year, I decided to buy my mother-in-law a cemetery plot as a Christmas gift...
The next year, I didn't buy her a gift.
When she asked me why, I replied,
"Well, you still haven't used the gift I bought you last year!"
And that's how the fight started...
________________________________
My wife and I was watching Who Wants To Be A Millionaire while we were in bed.
I turned to her and said, 'Do you want to have Sex?'
'No,' she answered. I then said,
'Is that your final answer?'
She didn't even look at me this time, simply saying, 'Yes..'
So I said, "Then I'd like to phone a friend."
And that's when the fight started...
________________________________
I took my wife to a restaurant.
The waiter, for some reason, took my order first.
"I'll have the rump steak, rare, please."
He said, "Aren't you worried about the mad cow?"
"Nah, she can order for herself."
And that's when the fight started...
________________________________
My wife and I were sitting at a table at her high school reunion, and she kept staring at a drunken man swigging his drink as he sat alone at a nearby table.
I asked her, "Do you know him?"
"Yes", she sighed,
"He's my old boyfriend.... I understand he took to drinking right after we split up those many years ago, and I hear he hasn't been sober since."
"My God!" I said, "Who would think a person could go on celebrating that long?"
And then the fight started...
________________________________
When our lawn mower broke and wouldn't run, my wife kept hinting to me that I should get it fixed. But, somehow I always had something else to take care of first, the shed, the boat, making beer.. Always something more important to me.. Finally she thought of a clever way to make her point.
When I arrived home one day, I found her seated in the tall grass, busily snipping away with a tiny pair of sewing scissors. I watched silently for a short time and then went into the house.. I was gone only a minute, and when I came out again I handed her a toothbrush. I said, "When you finish cutting the grass, you might as well sweep the driveway”
The doctors say I will walk again, but I will always have a limp.
________________________________
My wife sat down next to me as I was flipping channels.
She asked, "What's on TV?"
I said, "Dust."
And then the fight started...
________________________________
Saturday morning I got up early, quietly dressed, made my lunch, and slipped quietly into the garage. I hooked up the boat up to the van, and proceeded to back out into a heavy downpour, the wind was blowing at 50 mph, so I pulled back into the garage, turned on the radio, and discovered that the weather would be bad all day. I went back into the house, quietly undressed, and slipped back into bed.. I cuddled up to my wife's back, now with a different anticipation, and whispered, "The weather out there is terrible."
My loving wife of 5 years replied, "And, can you believe my stupid husband is out fishing in that?"
And that's how the fight started...
________________________________
My wife was hinting about what she wanted for our upcoming anniversary.
She said, "I want something shiny that goes from 0 to 150 in about 3 seconds."
I bought her a bathroom scale.
And then the fight started...
________________________________
After retiring, I went to the Social Security office to apply for Social Security.
The woman behind the counter asked me for my driver's License to verify my age.
I looked in my pockets and realized I had left my wallet at home.
I told the woman that I was very sorry, but I would have to go home and come back later.
The woman said, 'Unbutton your shirt'.
So I opened my shirt revealing my curly silver hair.
She said, 'That silver hair on your chest is proof enough for me' and she processed my Social Security application..
When I got home, I excitedly told my wife about my experience at the Social Security office...
She said, 'You should have dropped your pants. You might have gotten disability, too.'
And then the fight started...
________________________________
My wife was standing nude, looking in the bedroom mirror.
She was not happy with what she saw and said to me, "I feel horrible; I look old, fat and ugly.
I really need you to pay me a compliment.'
I replied, "Your eyesight's damn near perfect."
And then the fight started...

[mr surveyor]

jeepster.... even those are older than dirt (even older than Jocko), that last one is timeless:)

[GROTMAN]

http://i213.photobucket.com/albums/cc100/davesc2/nutnbitch.jpg

[GROTMAN]

NO OFFENSE MEANT TO ANYBODY.. JUST MADE ME LAUGH

http://uberhumor.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/03/RaFsu1.jpg (http://uberhumor.com/am-i-a-terrible-person-for-laughing-at-this)

[JFootin]

...or maybe not. Too funny - Chinese red-faced over Kim Jong Un (http://www.foxnews.com/world/2012/11/27/china-communist-party-newspaper-falls-for-onion-story-about-kim-jong-un/?intcmp=features).

[JFootin]

The Bacon Tree

Two Mexicans are stuck in the desert after crossing into the United States, wandering aimlessly and starving. They are about to just lie down and await death when all of a sudden Luis says.........

"Hey Pepe, do you smell what I smell? Ees bacon, I theenk."

"Ees, Luis, eet sure smell like bacon."

With renewed hope they struggle up the next sand dune, and there, in the distance, is a tree loaded with bacon.

There's raw bacon, there's fried bacon, back bacon, double smoked bacon ... Every imaginable kind of cured pork.

"Pepe, Pepe, wees saved! Ees a bacon tree!"

"Luis, maybe ees a meerage? Wees in the desert don't forget."

"Pepe, since when deed you ever hear of a meerage that smell like bacon... ees no meerage, ees a bacon tree!"

And with that, Luis staggers towards the tree. He gets to within 5 meters,
Pepe crawling close behind, when suddenly a machine gun opens up,
and Luis drops like a wet sock. Mortally wounded, he warns Pepe with his dying breath....

"Pepe... Go back, man, you was right, ees not a bacon tree!"

"Luis, Luis mi amigo... what ees it? "

"Pepe.. ees not a bacon tree. Ees....


Ees.....

Ees....

Ees....

Ees...

Ees....


Ees..... a ham bush...."

[JFootin]

I asked if I could borrow a newspaper...

I was visiting my son last night when I asked if I could borrow a
newspaper.

'This is the 21st century, he said. 'I don't waste money on newspapers.
Here, you can borrow my iPad.'

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I can tell you this, that damn fly never knew what hit him.

[TucsonMTB]

It's starting to look a lot like Christmas!

http://viewsfromtucson.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/11/Poinsettia-Patio-1024.jpg

Couldn't help but share this shot of the Poinsettia on the front patio.

This brave plant was a gift last year that has survived my poor attempts at nurturing it out in the yard ever since. I am amazed.

[Bawanna]

Loved this one.

[Bawanna]

Another winner.

[Bawanna]

I got a million of em.

[MW surveyor]

brain. Now you know.

[GROTMAN]

http://uberhumor.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/03/dEwZn1.jpg (http://uberhumor.com/doctors-strike)

[jlottmc]

What gripes my bones is I KNEW Dell inside and out!! I studied their company and top personnel and bought several computers for the company I worked for. I was intrigued by the business model and Michael Dell who staffed the company with older more experienced people than himself. I knew he would be successful, but I opened a new account with Smith Barney who were supposed to be very good. In essence they BS'd me into trusting their judgement. It was later that I realized all they knew is what the daily conference call with NY told them.

I thought I made the last of that mistake when we bought a set of Collier Encyclopedias in 1966. The books were free. All we paid for was the stand that came with them and the annual updates. After all we didn't want our far in the future kids to grow up stupid did we? Oh yeah, we had to promise that we would prominently display our beautiful books also.

Grrrrrrrr.... fooled me once shame on them, but twice is on me.

You're not the only one that has lost plenty of money with those guys. I can't tell you how happy i was to see them go **** up.

t*i*t*s is a naughty word? dang it.

[Tinman507]

https://sphotos-b.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-snc6/252213_10151217343932740_250188549_n.jpg

[mr surveyor]

I'm almost out of numbers on my NOVEMBER calendar;)

[Bawanna]

It could be the approaching forum cliff.

[JFootin]

Why do we still put up with the whims of a Roman emperor wo messed up the calendar? Here is my corrected one.

http://i1230.photobucket.com/albums/ee486/John_England/MyMoreSensibleCalendar.jpg

[jeepster09]

brain. Now you know.

This explains alot....:hippie: