Popeye
09-11-2013, 02:28 PM
TEACHER ARRESTED
A public school teacher was arrested today at John F. Kennedy
International airport as he attempted to board a flight while in
possession of a ruler, a protractor, a compass, a slide-rule and a
calculator.
At a morning press conference, Attorney General Eric Holder said he
believes the man is a member of the notorious Al-Gebra movement. He
did not identify the man, who has been
caught
by the FBI with carrying weapons of math instruction.
"Al-Gebra is a problem for us," the Attorney General said. "They
derive solutions by means and extremes, and sometimes go off on
tangents in search of absolute values. They use secret code names like
"X" and "Y" and refer to themselves as "unknowns" but we have
determined that they belong to a common denominator of the axis of
medieval with coordinates in every country." As the Greek philosopher
Isosceles used to say, "There are 3 sides to every triangle."
When asked to comment on the arrest, President Obama said, "If Allah
had wanted us to have better weapons of math instruction, he would
have given us more fingers and toes." White House aides told reporters
they could not recall a more intelligent or profound statement by the
President. It is believed that another Nobel Prize will follow.
.
A public school teacher was arrested today at John F. Kennedy
International airport as he attempted to board a flight while in
possession of a ruler, a protractor, a compass, a slide-rule and a
calculator.
At a morning press conference, Attorney General Eric Holder said he
believes the man is a member of the notorious Al-Gebra movement. He
did not identify the man, who has been
caught
by the FBI with carrying weapons of math instruction.
"Al-Gebra is a problem for us," the Attorney General said. "They
derive solutions by means and extremes, and sometimes go off on
tangents in search of absolute values. They use secret code names like
"X" and "Y" and refer to themselves as "unknowns" but we have
determined that they belong to a common denominator of the axis of
medieval with coordinates in every country." As the Greek philosopher
Isosceles used to say, "There are 3 sides to every triangle."
When asked to comment on the arrest, President Obama said, "If Allah
had wanted us to have better weapons of math instruction, he would
have given us more fingers and toes." White House aides told reporters
they could not recall a more intelligent or profound statement by the
President. It is believed that another Nobel Prize will follow.
.