Am I the bad guy in this situation?

[CJB]

Folks, I'm upset over this.... I just can't get my mind around it.

Last night, we had a meeting of the local motorcycle safety organization, where I'm the Executive Secretary on the Executive board of Directors. We had our meeting at the Treasurers house. The Treasurer is a 40 something female. All well so far.

During and after the meeting, its not uncommon to folks to partake in a few adult beverages. I don't know if the Treasurer had. I do not partake when I'm at someone's house doing business for the Board of Directors. Thats just me. After the meeting, its not unusual for more socializing to occur, and while I don't drink - because I'm driving - I'll stick around for a half hour or so.

Last night the Treasurer disappeared for a moment, and came out, pistol in hand, slide closed, finger in the trigger guard, and it was pointed at me. I got REALLY nervous, and asked her, and asked her, and asked her three times not to point it at me, and finally getting quite loud told here to point the fookin' thing away from me unless she wanted mine pointed back at her. She actually followed me with its muzzle as I tried to avoid being in the potenial line of fire, and all the while told me its ok, its unloaded.

She finally opened the action, while STILL following me with its muzzle from about 7 feet away, and I was furious. She tried to close the action, and could not. My friend took the pistol, a Sig or small Colt 380, and he tried to close the action, and couldn't. I told him to drop the mag, press the slide release and keep it pointed down. He did.

I went on.... told the Treasurer that she was full of BS, because she could not have checked it being loaded, as she was incapable of closing the action on the pistol. I told her to NEVER point it anyone, and to PROVE to everyone its safe when bringing it out, by opening the action first. Told her to not put her finger in the trigger guard. Told her I'd have a word with his husband over this matter.

She said... my husband is not the one teaching me safety. And I told her that it was quite evident that he is not.

So.... I got pissed off. I think rightly so. I just left at that point. I need no part of semi intoxicated firearms handling in a small group setting.

And for it all.... I have been labeled thin skinned and the bad guy. I jumped her case, she didn't deserve it, etc etc.

Can any words be too strong when a person who's been drinking is pointed a weapon at you, action closed, finger in the trigger guard, and assuring you "its not loaded"?

Clearly, I'm still pissed.... this just takes the cake in my book.

Gimme some feedback folks... I need to calm down some.

[jeepster09]

Wow....you were pretty calm to her. I would of loudly said "what the fuucc is wrong with you...pointing a gun at me?" I think I would also resign from club over it. Life is to short as it is.....you never know with a moron pointing a gun it could of ended for you.

[JohnR]

Any idea why she pointed it at you specifically?

[sas PM9]

Wow....you were pretty calm to her. I would of loudly said "what the fuucc is wrong with you...pointing a gun at me?" I think I would also resign from club over it. Life is to short as it is.....you never know with a moron pointing a gun it could of ended for you.



Agree with J, but with the exception that is is she that needs to be removed from office not CJB to resign.

Alcohol and handguns are a very bad mixture.

Her husband needs to lock the guns where she cannot get to them if she is that irresponsible with them, ignoring the most basic safety rules.

-steve

[jocko]

Any idea why she pointed it at you specifically?

guess CJB arrived on a goldwiner. ust sayin.:Amflag2:

[CJB]

The pointing was inadvertant, I believe. She had the pisol pointing away from herself, and we were facing each other about half way across the room. As I sidestepped and scolded her, she continually turned toward me still holding the pistol away from her. I didn't mean to imply... that she it puposefully. On the contrary, she is a total know it all ******* that should not be handling weapons of any sort.

[Sage]

That's exactly how people get killed. I don't know what else you could have done but I'm glad you're ok.

[chrish]

She's lucky she's not dead or in the hospital.

I would be pressing charges, plain and simple. The law needs to hold her accountable for brandishing and her constitutional right to own a firearm needs to be revoked. She's dangerous. If that adversely impacts her husband in your state, well then, too freakin' bad.

In the meantime, I think I'd find a different group of people to hang out with. If the rest of them are labeling you as over-reactionary...stay the hell away from them, they are all incompetent.


That's my opinion, for what its worth.

[ripley16]

Gimme some feedback folks... I need to calm down some.

The lady needs to hear from folks that what she did was stupid. Perhaps a few other members could back you up, in a friendly, positive but firm manner that she needs to obey safety rules around guns. If she can't take the criticism in a mature manner, that tells you she is dangerous even when sober and avoiding her would be a good thing.

[kwh]

Sorry I have nothing to say to calm you down. I read it four times and now I am upset. Everyone is wrong but you. I would never go to her house again, even if she apologizes . Life is too short and precious.

[jocko]

IMO, if the organization itself did not see the harm or aything and take the matter in their onw hands, then I would just never go back,esign if it please u but for me I would just never go back and when asked, then state ur reasons. Not to sure that it speaks very highly of the organization u belong to though.

I woldthink in the future u shold meet at a neutral place and certainly not at someone's home front. There are normally alot of public meeting places availalbe for small meeting such as this one. Library, city office building. Public service buildings etc, even churchs offer such places. certainly it would eliminate any liqour which seems to be the starting culprit of this to.

Have ur meetings sober and alcohol free and then go to a neighborhood bar to do the drinking. She s definitely at fault, but sure seems to me to be some laxeness of how a meetinfg should be held.

If ur gonna have liquor around, EXPECT THE WORSE.

By not resigning but still explaining why u won't attend any more meetings until things change for the good of the meetings such as safety etc, at least u are still keeping the door open for u to later on come back into the group and be a productive member.

Maybe a good change of officers would be in order to. But also if the group itself just laughed it off and paid no attention to this incident either, maybe it is time to move on.

Not rocket science. My local Izaak Walton club p[issed me off this summer with some ignoranty shooting rules. I paid over a $100 a year to join just to shoot and then they come up with some cock a mania stupid rules *that they later on even changed), Pissed me off, so I just told um that day that I would not be back but I never resigned, as I wanted to keep that door open to me if down the road I changed my mind.

Its ur call CJB, More than likey u were at a Harley owners majority group and they are know to tilt the bottle more than any utter bike group, u yourself have been known on this forum to tip a few in ur area. Sh!t is gonna happen when alcolhol and guns mix. The nature of two beasts

If ur a long standing member with organizational respect from the group, then I would present in writing to the officers of the offense that occured and give some recommendations etc and see if they act on it, in a manner that would at least get membership suggestions..

I would think if a member was packing and pull his gun and did that sh!t that he would be hammered by his fellow gun pakcers . quite possably many utter membersfeellike u do also but were alittle afraid to state their feeling etc. U might have more back ing than u think if it is presented correctly to the officers of the group for their debate etc..

U will keep us posted hopefully.

[JohnR]

Safety is a state of mind. If she lacks gun safety, I wouldn't expect her to exhibit motorcycle safety.

[jocko]

she could be a back seat rider..

[mars]

No you are not in the wrong and if the people think you are then it is best to move on as it is common sense to not pull out a firearm in that manner or setting. That person did not follow basic firearm safety and could not operate the firearm properly.

[Kinetic]

CJB, you didn't overreact. You handled it quite well actually. What was that **** thinking?!

[Barth]

Sad situation for sure.
Thankfully I've never had to deal with such a event myself.
I think I would leave immediately, not return
and this individual would not be allowed to enter my home.

This sounds very much like it relates to
the gun safety requirement for ownership thread doesn't it?

[CJB]

she has her own bike.... and its obnoxious with its "safety" lighting. The headlight his highbeam, or higher, and the spotlights are also high. Nobody will ride in front of her at night its that bad.

The meetings are on rotation at folks' houses. I've decided to never darken her door step again, and she and her kin will never again darken mine. No more meetings at my place, so I don't have to deal with it. And when she's in rotation, I'll be... on excused absense. I can put a good word in with myself as Secretary to make that happen!

[downtownv]

I would have kicked her in the twhat!
That's a Moron's, Moron right there. Find another club, life's too short to be with stupid people.

[jocko]

heh I like that new word twhat. It will appear more. ur very wise downtown.

CJB, doesn't sound to me like it is an organization of any numbers to be meeting at anyone home. utter than the comradrie, I think I would try to find a public place that stays the same . Just my 21 cents. Ur a smart guy so u will make the right decision for you and that is all that matters:Amflag2:

[Longitude Zero]

Ignorant gun handling, alcohol on board, I would have slapped the tea totaling shat outta her. And NEVER associated with her or anybody that got mad at what I did.

[DeaconKC]

I would present her with a printed copy of the first four rules of firearm's safety. then make it public why you will not be at any more meetings at her house. You were absolutely in the right and sounds like you handled it as well as anyone could under that circumstance.

[ltxi]

Someone points a firearm at me under the conditions you first described and they be physically going down! No talking/asking.

[jocko]

not sure that would work out the way ur thinkin though. Thi is a twaht ur gonna take down in her and her hubby home court. Just sayin.

Probalby the best thing wold have been for CJB or anyone who witnessed this twhat doin what she did, to just get up and walk out the door. No better signal would be needed IMO. to me busting a gal is not gonna make any friends. I just don't see um coming up to you later on and sayin nice punch there Itxi. Just sayin

as dumb as this guys wife was, I can still see him stepping in to defend her if u deck her. Course maybe ur built like Incognito, so in ur case no problem.

Ain't that a hell of a name to give a person Incogniti. Not sure which is worse that or ovomit.:amflag:

[ltxi]

not sure that would work out the way ur thinkin though. Thi is a twaht ur gonna take down in her and her hubby home court. Just sayin.

Probalby the best thing wold have been for CJB or anyone who witnessed this twhat doin what she did, to just get up and walk out the door. No better signal would be needed IMO. to me busting a gal is not gonna make any friends. I just don't see um coming up to you later on and sayin nice punch there Itxi. Just sayin

as dumb as this guys wife was, I can still see him stepping in to defend her if u deck her. Course maybe ur built like Incognito, so in ur case no problem.

Ain't that a hell of a name to give a person Incogniti. Not sure which is worse that or ovomit.:amflag:

Don't matter....training and ground in instinct is to go tunnel vision and deal with the threat.

I had something unlike that happen about 20+ years ago. Was working on something by the open door to my garage when a sub-teen neighbor kid jumped into the open and pointed a lifelike toy .1911 at my face.
He and I ended up in my driveway with him face down with a skinned up face and badly twisted up arm behind his back before either of us knew what was happening.

He'd thought he was just playing a game. His parents had the good sense to apologize.

[b4uqzme]

I guess I would have gone one way or the other: at her or away from her...fast. I doubt I would have done much talking but I'm glad everyone is safe. You certainly aren't the bad guy in this one and I'd seriously reconsider any further interaction with anyone who thinks you are.

[berettabone]

I surely don't believe in hitting a woman, BUT, a slap in the **** could have been in order. I think we can all agree, that when someone points a firearm at you, loaded or not, all bets concerning proper conduct are out the door..................

[TucsonMTB]

Although I so understand your pain, that's funny, at least from my perspective more than 2000 miles away. :D

Years ago, I worked with a person like that "lady". We were at a large, well funded, and "strategically important" software client of a major software firm you would probably recognize. Let's just call her "Julia".

I reported to Julia directly for funding purposes, even though my day to day activity involved other people and other departments "managing" enterprise wide software and the server hardware that hosted it.

Julia's staff meetings were usually more like meetings with the Spanish Inquisition than anything else I can think of. And, since a big part of my role as the software vendor's onsite resource was "making everything work", I spent a lot of time listening to sob stories from her staff while working out ways to make end runs around her.

In private, Julia once remarked to me that she "couldn't understand" why the truly excellent manager of their internal IT management team and I were always telling her the implementation strategies she proposed for the servers hosting "her" software were just mot workable.

Eventually, I asked to be reassigned. Everyone "got it" except Julia. :rolleyes:

In part, I believe the plot for your meeting reads something like this, "One of the most cool headed, thoughtful guys I "know" here from this forum meets Julia . . . while she is drinking and waving a gun around."

This might be the point in our story where King Arthur would advise the Brave Sir Robin to, "Run away . . . Run away . . . Run away!"

[CJB]

FWIW, I could take her ol' man down with one hand pickin my butt. She, on the other hand would require two hands, and breakin a sweat. He's a putz, she wears the pants.

[jlottmc]

Brother, I'll add my 2. I told my ol' lady that there were two times I'd ever hit her. One she pulls a gun on me and I can't get to mine first, and two she changes her name to Lorena. I'm pretty real sure I can get to mine and get it out quick fast and in a hurry, between the training and the tests. Let that stew for a minute. I think the fine folks here have offered plenty of sage counsel here. Oh, the cop in me and my time in the armory would definitely come out with some hard to ignore commands. Enforceable commands.

[muggsy]

The first time someone points a gun in my direction is the last time they point a gun in my direction. I'd quit the club and buy her a tee shirt that says, " Instant A-hole, just add alcohol." She might get the point, but I doubt it.

[CJB]

Oh cool and level headed.... I've been known to go off here on the foum, and while the message is (I hope) always correct, my presentation can leave much to be desired. Thanks for the complement though.

I tend really get unglued when totally avoidable accidents happen... if folks had only the slightest clue as to what they were actually doing, and the ramifications thereof. I've spent too many years at a range, and seen first hand the effects of ignorance in gun handling, as well as two intentional self inflicted life ending moments at the range. Try arguing with the 911 operator who's commanding you to give CPR to a guy missing half his head.... that he's dead lady.

I saw the couple last nite at an event, and will be sitting next to her today at the main meeting of the chapter. We'll see how this goes.

[chrish]

I saw the couple last nite at an event, and will be sitting next to her today at the main meeting of the chapter. We'll see how this goes.


Dude!!! Good luck w/ THAT! Boy would I like to be there to witness that, whether its just tension, altercation, or apology. Should be fun. Any chance you could covertly record it for us?

[downtownv]

Dude!!! Good luck w/ THAT! Boy would I like to be there to witness that, whether its just tension, altercation, or apology. Should be fun. Any chance you could covertly record it for us?

She won't even remember it....

[jocko]

payback can be hell thy say, but if she was sitting next to me, I thinkI would stand up,move in front of her and FART.

[Longitude Zero]

payback can be hell thy say, but if she was sitting next to me, I thinkI would stand up,move in front of her and FART.

Been there done that got the t-shirt.

[snakedog]

...I wouldn't hang out with a bunch like that. I'd find more sober company.

[jocko]

he'd probably hve to ride with honder people then!!!!!

[Armybrat]

Simple solution - follow all the advice being offered here, and give her a link to this thread so she can read it herself.

Sounds like your other club members are clueless idiots just like she is.

[yqtszhj]

If you asked her nicely more than twice you did ore than I would have. I would have likely got up and made a scene.


heh I like that new word twhat. It will appear more. ur very wise downtown.



I thought that was jocko spelling. Twhat were we talking about again? :rolleyes:

[CJB]

Dude!!! Good luck w/ THAT! Boy would I like to be there to witness that, whether its just tension, altercation, or apology. Should be fun. Any chance you could covertly record it for us?

Last night I blew her off, and she pretty much stayed clear of me. Today I was presented with a check to sign, I signed it. Done.

I could really give a prolonged airborne copulative response.

[jocko]

CJB thats odd u blew her off. Just sayin

[CJB]

There was no further immediate threat for me to become enraged at. Instead, I will limit my interaction with her to the point that is required of me to perform the duties of my position as Executive Secretary on the Board of Directors. Aside from those things I'm obliged to do, she is persona non grata.

[ltxi]

I guess I would have gone one way or the other: at her or away from her...fast. I doubt I would have done much talking but I'm glad everyone is safe. You certainly aren't the bad guy in this one and I'd seriously reconsider any further interaction with anyone who thinks you are.

Away isn't an instinctive option for a cop/combat mil person.

[Armybrat]

Last night I blew her off, and she pretty much stayed clear of me. Today I was presented with a check to sign, I signed it. Done.

I could really give a prolonged airborne copulative response.

I like the cut of your jib.