just sayin

[jocko]

> The Sensuous Wife
>
>
> With a very seductive voice the woman asked her husband, "Have you
> ever seen Twenty Dollars all crumpled up?"
>> "No," said her husband.
>> She gave him a sexy little smile, unbuttoned the top 3 or 4 buttons
> of her blouse, and slowly reached down into the cleavage created by a soft, silky
> push-up bra, and pulled out a crumpled Twenty Dollar bill.
>> He took the crumpled Twenty Dollar bill from her and smiled approvingly.
>>
>> She then asked him, "Have you ever seen Fifty Dollars all crumpled up?"
>> "Uh... no, I haven't," he said, with an anxious tone in his voice.
>> She gave him another sexy little smile, pulled up her skirt, and seductively
>> reached into her tight, sheer panties... and pulled out a crumpled Fifty Dollar bill.
>> He took the crumpled Fifty Dollar bill, and started breathing a little quicker
>> with anticipation.
>>
>> "Now," she said, "have you ever seen $50,000 Dollars all crumpled up?"
>>
>> "No way!" he said, while obviously becoming even more aroused and excited,
>> to which she replied............
>>
>> "Go look in the garage

[jocko]

anutter one

The stuttering cat
>
> Stuttering Cat - as explained by a Grade 4 student
>
> A teacher is explaining biology to her 4th grade students. "Human beings are the only animals
>
> that stutter," she says.
>
> A little girl raises her hand. "I had a kitty-cat who stuttered."
>
> The teacher, knowing how precious some of these stories could become, asked the girl to
>
> describe the incident.
>
> "Well," she began, "I was in the back yard with my kitty and the Rottweiler that lives next door
>
> got a running start and before we knew it, he jumped over the fence into our yard!"
>
> "That must've been scary," said the teacher.
>
> "It sure was," said the little girl. "My kitty raised her back, went 'Ffffff!, Ffffff!, Fffffff,' but before
>
> she could say 'Fokk!,' the Rottweiler ate her!"
> The teacher had to leave the room.




>

[GROTMAN]

http://uberhumor.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/11/qVpcfpg.gif (http://uberhumor.com/my-face-when-i-get-a-b-on-a-test-i-thought-i-failed)

[muggsy]

Please fellas, don't encourage him. :)

[jocko]

Please fellas, don't encourage him. :)

fa fa fa fa fa u Mug mug mug muggie:Amflag2:

[muggsy]

Now that was funny. :)

[AJBert]

Speaking of sensuous wives...

My wife walked by while I was watching the game and I couldn't help but notice her. Something really caught my eye so I said, "Honey, have I told you lately just how sensuous you are?"

Well, that REALLY caught her attention and she blushed a bit and said, "Why thank you! I didn't think you even looked at me that way anymore."

I then said, "Well, since you was up can you get me a beer?"

I'm not sure how long I was out but my team ended up winning.

[jocko]

I would take betting odds that you will never try that again. Course WTf, u never know until u try either. So kudos to the man with the cahonnas..

[garyb]

Man With No Enemies
http://f1412.mail.vip.bf1.yahoo.com/ya/download?mid=2%5f0%5f0%5f28%5f684735%5fAMPci2JUlNG nUou%2fu%2fiPBDwk7cM&pid=2.2&fid=Partners&inline=1&appid=yahoomail
Ya' gotta love this guy!!!!!




Meet Walter Barnes - All golfers should live so long as



to be this kind of old man!




Toward the end of the Sunday service, the Pastor asked,



"How many of you have forgiven your enemies?




80% held up their hands.




The Pastor then repeated his question.




All responded this time, except one man, Walter Barnes,



who attended church only when the weather was bad.




"Mr. Barnes, it's obviously not a good morning for golf.




It's good to see you here today.




Are you not willing to forgive your enemies?"




"I don't have any," he replied gruffly.




"Mr. Barnes, that is very unusual. "How old are you?"
"Ninety-eight," he replied.




The congregation stood up and clapped their hands.




"Oh, Mr. Barnes, would you please come down in front and



tell us all how a person can live ninety-eight years and not



have an enemy in the world?"




The old golfer tottered down the aisle, stopped in front of the



pulpit, turned around, faced the congregation, and said simply,



"I outlived all them assholes" - and he calmly returned to his seat.

[jeepster09]

We had a power outage last week and my PC, TV and games console shut down immediately. It was raining-- I couldn't golf so I talked to my wife for a few hours. She seems like a nice person.....

[jeepster09]

Jocko wanted to buy a motorcycle.

He doesn't have much luck, until one day, he comes across a Harley with a 'for sale' sign on it.

The bike looks better than a new one, although it is 10 years old. It's shiny and in mint condition.

He buys it and asks the seller how he kept it in such great condition for 10 years.

'Well, it's quite simple,' says the seller, 'whenever the bike is outside and it's gonna rain, rub Vaseline on the chrome.
It protects it from the rain', and he hands Jocko a jar of Vaseline.

That night, his girlfriend, Sandra, invites him over to meet her parents. Naturally, they take the Harley there.

Just before they enter the house,Sandra stops him and says, 'I have to tell you something about my family.

'When we eat dinner, we don't talk.

In fact, the FIRST person who says anything during dinner has to do all the dishes.'

'No problem,' he says… And in they go.

Jocko is shocked.

Right in the middle of the living room is a huge stack of dirty dishes.

In the kitchen is another huge stack of dishes. Piled up on the stairs, in the corridor, everywhere he looks dirty dishes.

They sit down to dinner, and sure enough, no one says a word.

As dinner progresses, Jocko decides totake advantage of the situation.

He leans over and kisses Sandra. No one says a word. He reaches over and fondles her. Nobody says a word.

So he stands up, grabs her, rips her clothes off, throws her on the table and does her, right there in front ofher parents. :eek:

His girlfriend is a little flustered, her dad is obviously livid and her mom horrified when he sits back down, but no one says a word.

He looks at her mom she's got a great body too.

Jocko grabs mom, bends her over the table, pulls down her panties, and does her every which way but loose right there on the dinner table.

She has a big o, & Jocko sits down.

His girlfriend is furious, her dad is boiling & Mom is beaming from ear to ear. But still....Total silence.

All of a sudden there is a loud clap of thunder, and it starts to rain.

Jocko remembers his bike, so he pulls the jar of Vaseline from his pocket.

Suddenly the father shouted.
I'll do the ****in dishes!!:ohmy: