Tampons

[CJB]

A middle aged, old school, urban lady went up to the pharmacy counter at her neighborhood Walgreens.

The pharmacist asked if he could help.

She told him "I jus' got my period, and I'm sick o' usin' padz, so can you fix me up wif some tampons?"

The pharmacist, being the consumate professional, replied "Tampons are a sensible alternative to pads, and they come in quite a few varieties. Do you have any particular needs?"

"Wut-chu mean?", the lady replied.

The pharmacist continued "Well, for instnace, what kind of flow do you have?"

She told him "Dat would be linoleum".

[b4uqzme]

The definition of "tampoon"?

= feminine hygiene for whales. Visualize that. :cool:

[SaltyNC]

They make great fire starters if you rub two together really fast. They work better if they haven't been used. ;)

OK, maybe not. ;) Better yet, coat them in Vasoline and store them in a Ziploc bag. Fluff them before lighting with a match or fire steel. Great little fire starters.

Your joke reminds me of an older joke. Leroy walks past a house and sees another guy on his knees through an open window. He says, "Whatcha doin' in there?" The other man replies, "Layin' linoleum." Leroy says, "Tell her I said hello."

SaltyNC

[340pd]

My wife didn't think it was so funny when, one night, I swapped her tampon with a party popper.

[AIRret]

They make great fire starters if you rub two together really fast. They work better if they haven't been used. ;)

OK, maybe not. ;) Better yet, coat them in Vasoline and store them in a Ziploc bag. Fluff them before lighting with a match or fire steel. Great little fire starters.

Your joke reminds me of an older joke. Leroy walks past a house and sees another guy on his knees through an open window. He says, "Whatcha doin' in there?" The other man replies, "Layin' linoleum." Leroy says, "Tell her I said hello."

SaltyNC

For a fire starter I coat cotton balls in Vaseline and put them in an old 35mm film container or in an old pill bottle. For best results I stretch them out, place one or two under the kindling and light. The cotton balls are cheaper than tampons and easier to take along. Believe it or not I keep a container of these cotton balls and matches in my truck, in my back pack, in the camper, at home, and even in my purse.
I learned this little trick from the locals when I was stationed at a radar site in King Salmon Alaska.

[Bawanna]

I'm gonna do that too AIRret. Good plan. I can never go to the checkout stand with tampons, I've tried several times but just can't get through with it. Cotton balls I can handle and I'll have my real life wife get the vaseline, that might be questionable too.

That's a good plan with the film or pill bottles.

[CJB]

Hmmm.

[downtownv]

FYI if you really want to screw someone over put one in a gas tank they dissolve and the fibers will do a number on fuel injectors!
So I've heard.....:behindsofa:

[SaltyNC]

The ones I stole from my wife's side of the bathroom are 100% cotton. Because they are so compressed, when you fluff them, they go from half the size of a pinky finger to the size of a softball or larger. They also look like cotton bullets. :) Cotton balls work great, too. Dryer lint is another good free source of material with no chance of embarrassment in the checkout line. If Vaseline is a problem, coat them in Kerf's Wood Cream. :)

SaltyNC

[Glock23]

All this talk of tampons and cotton balls.....

A man walks into a pharmacy and wanders up and down the aisles.

The sales girl notices him and asks him if she can help him.

He answers that he is looking for a box of tampons for his wife.

She directs him down the correct aisle.

A few minutes later, he brings a huge bag of cotton balls and a ball of string and places them on the counter.

She says, confused, "Sir, I thought you were looking for some tampons for your wife?

He answers, " You see, it's like this, yesterday, I sent my wife to the store to get me a carton of cigarettes, and she came back with a tin of tobacco and some rolling papers; cause it's soooooo much cheaper. So, I figure if I have to roll my own ......... so does she.

[getsome]

SaltyNC [QUOTE= coat them in Kerf's Wood Cream. :)

Shouldn't this go over in the Celibacy thread?

[AIRret]

I'm gonna do that too AIRret. Good plan. I can never go to the checkout stand with tampons, I've tried several times but just can't get through with it. Cotton balls I can handle and I'll have my real life wife get the vaseline, that might be questionable too.

That's a good plan with the film or pill bottles.

And I know we all have plenty of pill bottles these days.

Some of the pill bottles are even water proof. Check it out, put a kleenex inside and put the bottle in a sink with water.

[jocko]

whats a tampon???? Just sayin

[deadeye]

whats a tampon???? Just sayin
I think it is something used for a muzzle loader. I think.

[smo79]

All this talk of tampons and cotton balls.....

A man walks into a pharmacy and wanders up and down the aisles.

The sales girl notices him and asks him if she can help him.

He answers that he is looking for a box of tampons for his wife.

She directs him down the correct aisle.

A few minutes later, he brings a huge bag of cotton balls and a ball of string and places them on the counter.

She says, confused, "Sir, I thought you were looking for some tampons for your wife?

He answers, " You see, it's like this, yesterday, I sent my wife to the store to get me a carton of cigarettes, and she came back with a tin of tobacco and some rolling papers; cause it's soooooo much cheaper. So, I figure if I have to roll my own ......... so does she.
Now that was funny. Does anybody else head towards the bunker that time of the month?

[MW surveyor]

whats a tampon???? Just sayin

It's a cover for the muzzle of a naval gun. Keeps the water out.:p

[Ikeo74]

Why buy cotton balls? Just save the cotton inserts in your asprin bottles and Rolaids bottles. They are bigger and free. Might work for the wife in emergencies too!

[jocko]

It's a cover for the muzzle of a naval gun. Keeps the water out.:p

thats exactly what I was thinkin it was to:Amflag2:

[RRP]

Navel?

I recommend you aim your gun a bit lower.