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jg rider
04-03-2014, 05:24 PM
My wife is Irish

I was at the local Irish pub the other night and overheard three very hefty women talking at the bar.
Their accent appeared to be Gaelic, so I approached and asked, "Hello, are you three lassies from Ireland?"
One of them angrily screeched, "It's Wales, Wales you bloody idiot!"
So I apologized and replied, "I am so sorry. Are you three whales from Ireland ?"
And that's the last thing I remember . . .

GROTMAN
04-03-2014, 05:33 PM
jg rider..hope you don't mind but here's another one..:)
John O'Reilly hoisted his beer and said, "Here's to spending the rest of me life, between the legs of me wife !"

That won him the top prize at the pub for the best toast of the night !
He went home and told his wife, Mary, "I won the prize for the Best toast of the night."

She said, "Aye, did ye now. And what was your toast?"
John said, "Here's to spending the rest of me life, sitting in church beside me wife."

"Oh, that is very nice indeed, John!" Mary said.

The next day, Mary ran into one of John's drinking buddies on the street
Corner. The man chuckled leeringly and said, "John won the prize the other night at The pub with a toast about you, Mary."

She said, "Aye, he told me, and I was a bit surprised myself. You know, he's only been in there twice in the last four years. "Once I had to pull him by the ears to make him come, and the other time he fell asleep".

Bawanna
04-03-2014, 05:33 PM
Please pass the eye bleach. Some images do not belong in my memory bank not enough space as it is.

jg rider
04-03-2014, 06:00 PM
jg rider..hope you don't mind but here's another one..:)
John O'Reilly hoisted his beer and said, "Here's to spending the rest of me life, between the legs of me wife !"

That won him the top prize at the pub for the best toast of the night !
He went home and told his wife, Mary, "I won the prize for the Best toast of the night."
OMG. That's a great one. I've never heard that one before.
I'll show it to my wife and make sure you get the credit.
She said, "Aye, did ye now. And what was your toast?"
John said, "Here's to spending the rest of me life, sitting in church beside me wife."

"Oh, that is very nice indeed, John!" Mary said.

The next day, Mary ran into one of John's drinking buddies on the street
Corner. The man chuckled leeringly and said, "John won the prize the other night at The pub with a toast about you, Mary."

She said, "Aye, he told me, and I was a bit surprised myself. You know, he's only been in there twice in the last four years. "Once I had to pull him by the ears to make him come, and the other time he fell asleep".

OMG. That's a great one. I've never heard that one before.
I'll show it to my wife and make sure you get the credit

Wait a minute ! That didn't sound right.

SGT5711
04-03-2014, 07:48 PM
What's the difference between an Irish wedding and an Irish funeral?


One less drunk



For Jocko - What's the difference between a Harley Davidson motorcycle and a Hoover vacuum cleaner?

You can only fit one dirtbag on a Hoover

HAP1978
04-03-2014, 08:13 PM
LOL, that was good.

muggsy
04-07-2014, 06:21 AM
Did ya hear the one about the two gay Irishmen? Patrick Fitzgerald and Gerald Fitzpatrick.

muggsy
04-07-2014, 06:22 AM
How do they separate the men from the boys in Greece? With a crowbar.

skiflydive
04-07-2014, 08:19 AM
Did ya hear the one about the two gay Irishmen? Patrick Fitzgerald and Gerald Fitzpatrick.

And their buddies... Ben Dover and Phil McCavity