Things that tick you off

[getsome]

Figured I would start a thread to maybe allow folks to blow off some steam about whatever is bothering you about modern life and provide some much needed free therapy for those of us old codgers having difficulty adjusting to this new fangled modern digital world....I got this idea driving home from a visit to my local Walmart last night....

Now don't get me wrong, I normally enjoy a visit to the Walmart and I always enjoy people watching while shopping and sometimes I even get to score some ammo....Now for some unknown reason every time I get to shopping pretty good and finding what I want something in the store starts to working on my bowels and it requires a restroom visit to download before shopping can continue and last night was no exception.....

I found the bathroom and was sitting there and everything was going well and proceeding normally until all of the sudden there was this huge whooshing sound and my hind end was power washed when the toilet must have decided I had been there long enough and power flushed with enough force to suck down a pony...Now I'm all for automation but not for toilets and I want to be able to decide when it's time to flush....After a while I got over the excitment and got back to business and then noticed there was no paper sticking through the slot in the high tech toilet paper dispenser so I had to get out my knife and work on it a while to get the end of the roll to come out which was good but it would only roll off about 3 squares before it broke off again inside the %$#@*%& dispenser...After about 20 minutes of working at it I got enough paper out to take care of the issue and then turned around to flush the toilet and there wasn't a manual flush handle on the blame high dollar digital autotoilet so I had to leave several baby ruth's and a wad of hard earned paper in the bowl like a low life....

Said oh well and went to wash my hands....Had to wave my hand in front of a little window on the soap dispenser to get a tiny drop of what I pray was yellow soap to dribble out and after doing that for 5 minutes I was able to get enough to lather up with....Went to rinse it off and there's another freaking little electronic eye you have to wave your hand in front of to get a little dribble of water to come out to get that hard fought for soap off your hands....What a crock, Walmart invested thousands of dollars into automatic electronic bathroom gadgets and none of them work....Went to dry my hands and no paper towels so I dried my hands on my shirt and went back to shopping...

Couldn't find anybody to help me with a key to open the ammo cage so after waiting 20 minutes I gave up (didn't have much of anything anyway) and went looking for what I went there for, allergy medicine to deal with Georgia's yellow death pollen clouds....Found that and a couple of other things and headed for the check out....32 checkout lanes and 1 open backed up into the aisles....Decided to be brave and try the "self" checkout....Was going great until the voice said to place my merchandise into the bag which I did but it kept telling me to "place merchandise into the bag" so I took it out and tried it again and that made it qo nuts and start flashing a big overhead dunce light and the damn thing kept saying in a digital voice to wait for the attendant....There wasn't any attendant so I headed over to Customer No Service and finally got Shaniqua Moesha to get me checked out and headed for the door where the toothless old dude that welcomed me to Walmart going in had to check my little bag with his yellow marker to be sure I didn't have any big screen TV's or a riding lawn mower in there....I got to my truck and realized what a pain in the @$$ this trip and been and drove home where I attempted to try and open the Sinus medicine package and realized i was going to need an ax.......I'm an wore out old analog man in a digital world......Too be continued....

Anybody else need to vent?...Something bothering you? Here's the place so let her rip......

[DubDubU]

If ya would have just said ' Walmart SUCKS' i would have read the whole post. Walmart does't deserve all the time you spent ranting.

[jeepster09]

This was way to much info....:smash:

[muggsy]

The thing that pisses me off more than anything is people who have nothing better to do than to complain about the restroom facilities at the local Wallymart. :)

[getsome]

Bite Me!!!....:p......

[downtownv]

Bite Me!!!....:p......

That right there was funny!

The Walmart Toilet was Male bonding at it's core! The story was crazy funny and the visual was equally funny!
Thanks for the laugh!

That said I had a rep from San Diego who was driving to Phoenix. If you know that trip there is a strong warning about last gas, food fuel for a million miles.
2/3rd thru no mans land he had the stomach quake and was now racing to the McDonalds to lighten his load.
Well he made it, however as he dropped them, he had an accident in his fancy suit.
So he attempted to remove his trousers and clean 'em up and that's when the light timer went off, leaving him in his shirt, tie and jockey shorts in the pitch dark!
Well along comes a couple of truck drivers, upon entering the lights go on and they see this guy standing there, pant-less!
When he told the story we were dying picturing the whole thing!
Funny Shat Happens!:yo:

[b4uqzme]

Too be continued....

.


No, no, that was quite enough. But thanks for the chuckle. :)

[knkali]

That was freakn hilarious. Good job on the narrative. Very colorful.

[Bawanna]

What I love is when those same urges strike and I find a perfectly healthy piece of human excrement in the derelict stall.

On many occasions I've spoke through the partition that if they aren't handicapped when they come out, they will be the next time.

Most Walmart's have restrooms front and back of the store. I've had this occur in both.

I was in a Target once and apparently there was some homeless dude in the derelict stall taking a toilet shower or something. I was killing time waiting for my son who was taking drivers ed nearby. I was back and forth over a period of 45 minutes or so with the dude still in. Finally a store security guy followed me in apparently wondering what I was up to. He figured the situation out pretty quick. Young kid, kind of leary to address the inhabitant.

I showed him my civilian puke ID and my Cbob and told him to talk tough, I had his back. I just left afterwards, apparently lost the urge I reckon.

[mr surveyor]

what really pizzes me off is being reminded to think about things that pizz me off :mad:

[AIRret]

You think those toilets are "electronic"……..no no no no. There's a pervert looking through that little so called "electronic eye" at your "you know what" and he's messing with you, or laughing at you or worse yet he's bored with what he sees!!!!!!

[muggsy]

Bite Me!!!....:p......

Believe it or not, that's the name of my fishin' boat. You have a great sense of humor, Getsome.

[Baklash]

Thanks for the good laugh. I think Walmart dropped the old guy at the front door a couple years ago. I've been trying to get them to replace him with an old broad, but my wife insists she won't go back to work.;)

[smo79]

If you really want a good laugh check the People of Walmart video on YouTube. God it makes you really thank the good lord to be just a normal person.

[muggsy]

Who says that any of us are normal?

[hardluk1]

getsome, You really know how to get a morning started. Gives me a good laugh yet I feel like I have been to that same walmart . Frruuushhrating for me to even go to any big box store. The older I git the more I hate them all. Got wobble around in 5 acreas of crap to hope to find the couple things I need only to find its sold out not a in store item or they have changed from winter clothing to summer when its still 20* out. .

[berettabone]

I realize they are close, but I prefer Target, Cosco, Kohls, anywhere but Walmart. Has nothing to do with their business practices...........their stores are laid out so you have to wander around for days to find anything.

[getsome]

Yea me too, I have a love/hate relationship with Walmart and the only reason I go there is because they sometimes have ammo but otherwise it's like getting off the train in some strange foreign country where nobody speaks your language....I also hate both Lowes and Home Depot for the same reason...Recently went to the plumbing dept at Lowes with a shower stem that was leaking and needed a new one...

Now this was the "plumbing guy" not the guy from lumber or lawn and garden and when I showed him what I wanted he looked at me with a blank stare like I was asking for a Johnson Rod for the Space Shuttle or something......Went down the road a bit to a big Ace hardware store and the guy there knew exactly what brand it was just by looking at it and also handed me some teflon tape and a washer kit....I paid more but got what I needed and was in/out in 10 minutes...

[Bawanna]

That reminds me, plumbers tick me off.

[Tinman507]

http://i1.wp.com/laughedge.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/04/plumbers-crack-camouflage.jpg

[knkali]

That reminds me, plumbers tick me off.

Would it be safe to say that the shorter list would be what does NOT tick you off?

[Bawanna]

Maybe so, maybe so.

Is that an age thing or am I just a natural hater, negative person?

[getsome]

I love everybody, I just hate people

[downtownv]

Yea me too, I have a love/hate relationship with Walmart and the only reason I go there is because they sometimes have ammo

And you like the Bidet-type toilettes!:D

[getsome]

You know it wasn't that bad but I wish I woulda had some warning first!!!...:w00t:

[knkali]

I would not like my sack washed with other peoples sheet water

[Bawanna]

That thought crossed my small mind too but I found it too disgusting to share.

They did something to the toilet in the janitors closet that most of us office pukes use. Violets apparently were flushing unmentionables. They think guys are dirty and disgusting, my coworker violets are pigs.

But that toilet now you want to dismount and get a couple feet away or your going down. Course I'm the only one small enough of all the violets that it might confuse with a Baby Ruth and take me away, the rest would never fit. Small ponies yes, but not these violets.

[DeaconKC]

The Dispatcher's Office in the Metropolis Police Department has automatic flush toilet, automatic lights, automatic water in the sink and an automatic hand dryer. I REFUSE to sit down in there, scares me to death!

[AIRret]

http://i1.wp.com/laughedge.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/04/plumbers-crack-camouflage.jpg

Now, that's funny!!

[muggsy]

:target: I really get ticked when I forget to put it away before I zip up. There's nothing to compare to that experience except possibly sitting on a bear trap. :mad:

[getsome]

My little Moby has figured out how to unzip my pants during the day, at least that's my story and I'm sticking to it because I seem to be finding myself walking around with the barn door open more and more these days........

[leftysixty]

I doo so hate the fancy evil eye rest room torture devices.:32:

'Coupla years ago, while struggling to regain some control of my body, I was using a wheel chair to get around. I lost a fight with one of those electric eye toilets.:eek:

My legs did'nt work right, right arm was 1/2 spastic. Half on half off, the dang thing decided I needed a shower. About 100 gallons and 20 flushes latter I managed to escape. Looked like a drowned rat.:mad:

The dang thing was lucky I didn't have my gun. Of course my brother found me and was laughing so hard he couldn't breath. :D

I do like big box stores 'cause I use them to practice walking and dodging giant slow moving obstacles. Also get to practice using my cane as a defensive tool. :D I still can't out run those dang electric karts, but I'm working on it.;)

That's my story and I stick'n to it. :amflag:

[yqtszhj]

I showed him my civilian puke ID and my Cbob and told him to talk tough, I had his back. I just left afterwards, apparently lost the urge I reckon.

I can actually picture you telling him that... Pretty funny.

but... after rereading that you were at Target I had a thought. If your Target is like the Target's around here all the males that work there are alternate sexual and cant talk tough because they walk like a fairy (and look like one too actually.) Not that I really care.

[yqtszhj]

What really ticks me off is stupid people acting like they know about something when they really need to sit down and shut up.

As a matter of fact a good example of that lives on Pennsylvania Avenue. :rolleyes: