December-- What's up?

[wyntrout]

Did I miss a December thread??

http://images1.tickld.com/live/articles/a_1060_20141125111033.png

Wynn :D

[Barth]

My second wife resembles that story.
Glad that was a long time ago...

[wyntrout]

A Merry Christmas Jiggle:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=pqKb1OGpDjo

Wynn:D

[b4uqzme]

A Merry Christmas Jiggle:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=pqKb1OGpDjo

Wynn:D

Must've been something in those needles...just sayin'. :2eek: Jingle all the way!

[DavidS]

Didn't notice your spelling of 'jingle' the first time I read your post. :)

[GLOCKROCKER]

Impressive! Very talented young lady.

[ltxi]

Yeah, but boobs are too big

[Bawanna]

I was just sitting here waiting for that. You didn't let me down.

[jocko]

u guys are sick. I juyst noticed the tats. Nice work by someone.

[Bawanna]

u guys are sick. I juyst noticed the tats. Nice work by someone.

This is frustrating, my first thought was oh another great spelling job by the goat farmer, then it occurred to me after looking again that there were indeed tats too?

So now I'm torn between spelling error and mammary glands. Real or imagined, to big or just right............

I shall ponder this.

[ltxi]

I was just sitting here waiting for that. You didn't let me down.

:Amflag2:

[addictedhealer]

ahahaha. The joke was funny I was just to distracted to laugh.

[Harrylee]

I think those things where wired for sound:o

[GROTMAN]

I apologize up front to all you leos, but just thought this was funny and cant resist myself.:o
Protesters have been setting donut traps for police

http://i.imgur.com/tdndZZT.png

[DavidS]

Now that's funny.
No apology needed for me. I see some humor in most everything and as long as it is not mean spirited, .................

[GROTMAN]

The Perfect Man

A man walks out to the street and catches a taxi just going by.

He gets into the taxi, and the cabbie says, "Perfect timing. You're just like Frank."

Passenger: "Who?"

Cabbie: "Frank Feldman...he's a guy who did everything right all the time. Like my coming along when you needed a cab, things happened like that to Frank Feldman every single time."

Passenger: "There are always a few clouds over everybody."

Cabbie: "Not Frank Feldman. He was a terrific athlete. He could have won the Grand-Slam at tennis. He could golf with the pros. He sang like an opera baritone, and danced like a Broadway star. And you should have heard him play the piano! He was an amazing guy."

Passenger: "Sounds like he was something really special."

Cabbie: "There's more. He had a memory like a computer. He remembered everybody's birthday. He knew all about wine, which foods to order, and which fork to eat them with. And he could fix anything. Not like me-I change a fuse, and the whole street blacks out. But Frank Feldman, he could do everything right."

Passenger: "Wow, some guy then."

Cabbie: "He always knew the quickest way to go in traffic and avoid traffic jams. Not like me, I always seem to get stuck in them. But Frank, he never made a mistake, and he really knew how to treat a woman and make her feel good. He would never answer her back, even if she was in the wrong; and his clothing was always immaculate, shoes highly polished too. He was the perfect man! He never made a mistake. No one could ever measures up to Frank Feldman."

Passenger: " An amazing fellow. How did you meet him?"

Cabbie: "Well...I never actually met Frank. He died, and I married his wife."

[GROTMAN]

CHECK YOUR KIDS HOMEWORK...
http://i.imgur.com/nG7J2Wl.jpg

[Bawanna]

This is too good not to share...

I remember my first Christmas adventure with Grandma. I was just a kid. I remember tearing across town on my bike to visit her on the day my big sister dropped the bomb: "There is no Santa Claus," she jeered. "Even dummies know that!"
My Grandma was not the gushy kind, never had been. I fled to her that day because I knew she would be straight with me. I knew Grandma always told the truth, and I knew that the truth always went down a whole lot easier when swallowed with one of her "world-famous" cinnamon buns. I knew they were world-famous, because Grandma said so. It had to be true.

Grandma was home, and the buns were still warm. Between bites, I told her everything. She was ready for me. "No Santa Claus?" she snorted.... "Ridiculous! Don't believe it. That rumor has been going around for years, and it makes me mad, plain mad!! Now, put on your coat, and let's go."

"Go? Go where, Grandma?" I asked. I hadn't even finished my Second World-famous cinnamon bun. "Where" turned out to be Kerby's General Store, the one store in town that had a little bit of just about everything.
As we walked through its doors, Grandma handed me ten dollars. That was a bundle in those days. "Take this money," she said, "and buy something for someone who needs it. I'll wait for you in the car." Then she turned and walked out of Kerby's.

I was only eight years old. I'd often gone shopping with my mother, but never had I shopped for anything all by myself. The store seemed big and crowded, full of people scrambling to finish their Christmas shopping. For a few moments I just stood there, confused, clutching that ten-dollar bill, wondering what to buy, and who on earth to buy it for. I thought of everybody I knew: my family, my friends, my neighbors, the kids at school, the people who went to my church. I was just about thought out, when I suddenly thought of Bobby Decker. He was a kid with bad breath and messy hair, and he sat right behind me in Mrs. Pollock's grade-two class.



Bobby Decker didn't have a coat. I knew that because he never went out to recess during the winter. His mother always wrote a note, telling the teacher that he had a cough, but all we kids knew that Bobby Decker didn't have a cough; he didn't have a good coat. I fingered the ten-dollar bill with growing excitement. I would buy Bobby Decker a coat! I settled on a red corduroy one that had a hood to it. It looked real warm, and he would like that.



"Is this a Christmas present for someone?" the lady behind the counter asked kindly, as I laid my ten dollars down. "Yes, ma'am," I replied shyly. "It's for Bobby." The nice lady smiled at me, as I told her about how Bobby really needed a good winter coat. I didn't get any change, but she put the coat in a bag, smiled again, and wished me a Merry Christmas.



That evening, Grandma helped me wrap the coat (a little tag fell out of the coat, and Grandma tucked it in her Bible) in Christmas paper and ribbons and wrote, "To Bobby, From Santa Claus" on it. Grandma said that Santa always insisted on secrecy. Then she drove me over to Bobby Decker's house, explaining as we went that I was now and forever officially, one ofSanta's helpers.



Grandma parked down the street from Bobby's house, and she and I crept noiselessly and hid in the bushes by his front walk. Then Grandma gave me a nudge. "All right, Santa Claus," she whispered, "get going." I took a deep breath, dashed for his front door, threw the present down on his step, pounded his door and flew back to the safety of the bushes and Grandma. Together we waited breathlessly in the darkness for the front door to open. Finally it did, and there stood Bobby.

Fifty years haven't dimmed the thrill of those moments spent shivering, beside my Grandma, in Bobby Decker's bushes. That night, I realized that those awful rumors about Santa Claus were just what Grandma said they were, ridiculous. Santa was alive and well, and we were on his team.

I still have the Bible, with the coat tag tucked inside: $19.95.



May you always have LOVE to share, HEALTH to spare and FRIENDS that care. And may you always believe in the magic of Santa Claus!

[DavidS]

:cool::D

[mr surveyor]

Thanks, Brother "B"

I needed that.


jd

[muggsy]

Christmas is looking pretty bleak at the Muggsy residence this year. I lost my part time job at the toy factory. The manager said that I was holding up production on the Tickle Me Elmo doll line. I thought it was my job to put two marbles in a cloth sack and sew them between Elmo's legs. The foreman told me that he hired me to give each doll two test tickles not two testicles. Oh well, live and learn.

[Armybrat]

Fixin' to clean & prep my new toys before heading to the range for a little break-in session (Kahr CT380, Colt LE6920MP-B):


http://images.yuku.com/image/jpeg/73d354cc49dcd3a8132abb6606851622aa30572.jpg

[DavidS]

Christmas is looking pretty bleak at the Muggsy residence this year. I lost my part time job at the toy factory. The manager said that I was holding up production on the Tickle Me Elmo doll line. I thought it was my job to put two marbles in a cloth sack and sew them between Elmo's legs. The foreman told me that he hired me to give each doll two test tickles not two testicles. Oh well, live and learn.
Laughed out loud on that one. Two thumbs up.

[Armybrat]

No stinky cologne for me - told the wife to get this to stuff in my stocking instead:

http://i253.photobucket.com/albums/hh75/INDYGEORGE/HoppesNo9.jpg

[GROTMAN]

http://i.imgur.com/UqpRPrE.png

[kenemoore]

Christmas is looking pretty bleak at the Muggsy residence this year. I lost my part time job at the toy factory. The manager said that I was holding up production on the Tickle Me Elmo doll line. I thought it was my job to put two marbles in a cloth sack and sew them between Elmo's legs. The foreman told me that he hired me to give each doll two test tickles not two testicles. Oh well, live and learn.

I'm stealing this one.

[DavidS]

I'm stealing this one.
Me too.

[Planedude]

Glad to be home, I just spent two and half days in the hospital fighting Influenza "A". Apparently my flu shot was for type "B" or something. It sucked to get sick, but I'm much better now...


...Till the bills come due.


Stay well my friends, may you and yours have a very Merry Christmas.

[ltxi]

If you had flu bad enough to put you into the hospital for a couple/three days you were into life threatening territory. Glad you're still with us and better!

Merry Christmas!