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View Full Version : Don't Waste Your Money



Baklash
01-15-2015, 07:54 PM
Bought me some of them fancy lecktronick earmuffs. Cost me nearly $50 and that's a lot for earmuffs. But my wife, Effie, said everything is going up in price, even her chewing tobacco. Right off the bat I was worried bout them muffs, cause instead of being fur they were hard plastic. Anyway, I took 'em deer huntin' to try out cause it was really cold up there in that tree stand. They ain't worth a crap! They never did heat up and warm my ears! Since I couldn't get 'em to heat up I decided to listen to some music like I see all them kids doing nowadays. Well, I turned that little black tuning knob from one end to the other and never could get a radio station. I live pretty close to Atlanta and at home I always get a good strong signal.

Those are not the only problems I had with these crummy muffs . After I put 'em on I couldn't hear nuthin' that was happenin' in the woods. Now I ask you, what good are earmuffs if you can't hear nuthin' when you got 'em on? I was just lucky to see a nice dough walk up and I pulled the triger. My gun must have misfired cause I didn't hear no shot! But the dough must have heard me cussin' cause she run off. I pulled the triger again as she was runnin' away, but the dang gun misfired again! I no I can't blame a faulty gun on my earmuffs, but I was gettin' hot.

So I decided to call the smartest man I know... my buddy Rudell. (We call him Nubbin cause he once tried to trim his hedges with a new lawnmower. He sued, and won a lot of money cause the lawnmower instruckshuns didn' say nuthin' bout not trimming your hedges. But that's another story.) Anyway, Nubbin said the battries in my earmuffs were probly dead. I don't believe he was wright tho cause there weren't no battries in the box the muffs came in. I'm purty sure that if sumptin' needs battries they ALWAYS include them in the box.

Well, I took the muffs back to Bass Pro Shop and told the man they were junk. After I splained everything that happened he said he would take 'em back. He was lookin' at me plum funny like. I think he was embarrassed and felt bad bout sellin' me such a crappy set of earmuffs. So he sold me a Elmer Fudd hat with those long ear flaps that hang down the side of your face like a Basset Hound. They work real good, didn't cost as much, and don't need no battries. Now I'm wonderin' if he will take back that deefective gun.

hardluk1
01-16-2015, 09:31 AM
Did you also forget to add fuel and oil to your chain saw or just check pushing and pulling on the handle too to cut wood ?

downtownv
01-16-2015, 09:44 AM
I am simply at a loss for words......

Esco
01-16-2015, 10:35 AM
ahahahahahaha

Bawanna
01-16-2015, 11:41 AM
This is a true story, no kidding. Back in my walking days I was deep back in the woods cutting firewood.
A fella showed up with a brand new electric chainsaw. I didn't talk to him but another fella did and he claimed he just spaced. But he also had a brand new 100ft extension cord, so there had to be some thought there.

A generator would have been right handy right about them.

Thanks for the tip, I dun got me a Elmer Fudd hat, one of my favorites, I won't be seeking no ear muffs.

Armybrat
01-16-2015, 12:12 PM
Bakflash - I'm gonna steal that & post it on a thread I started about electronic ear protectors on a Texas sports board. Good one!

Bawanna - maybe you could get an outfit like Mrs. Brat's cousin did for her dog "Nutcracker" (just posted this pic link in the Flying thread):

http://scontent-a-dfw.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ash2/v/t1.0-9/s480x480/1459877_10151975390139588_1700302982_n.jpg?oh=732c 8c8c6a34158740d629e16d6fe481&oe=552C096B

Bawanna
01-16-2015, 01:39 PM
Was just there, the dog seems very well outfitted. Perhaps a little low slung but outfitted nicely.

b4uqzme
01-16-2015, 02:31 PM
A dog like that in winter is the definition of "snowballs"...just sayin'.

Bill K
01-16-2015, 02:36 PM
Wasn't there some Gun or Hunting magazine where a guy had a column and wrote stories like the OP? Believe it was always on the last page just before the back cover.

Bawanna
01-16-2015, 02:42 PM
Your saying it's just a story and it weren't true?..................:confused:

Bill K
01-16-2015, 02:46 PM
Your saying it's just a story and it weren't true?..................:confused:

Now that's funny! :yo:

Baklash
01-16-2015, 07:11 PM
Did you also forget to add fuel and oil to your chain saw or just check pushing and pulling on the handle too to cut wood ?

Thanks for pointing out my error. I knew it took awful long, but I did manage to cut down the tree for my deer stand. I figured it would be easier to build the stand if everything was on the ground.

AJBert
01-16-2015, 08:51 PM
Wasn't there some Gun or Hunting magazine where a guy had a column and wrote stories like the OP? Believe it was always on the last page just before the back cover.

I believe you might be referring to a fella by the name of Patrick McManus, if memory serves. Used to love to read his stories, so much so that I found a set of books with all of his stories. One heck of a good read!

C_Class
01-16-2015, 10:39 PM
I've got a true story in a similar vein...

The MRS couldn't take the loud snoring from the MR one night, so she thought it would be a great idea to put on the MR's electronic muffs. You guessed it! She turned them on and in the morning complained about how worthless they were in quieting the roar emanating from the MR during the night. The MRS also complained about my laughter after hearing she kept them on the remainder of the night!!!