Irish Humor

[getsome]

To honor St Patty's day here is an Irish joke and if you have one let er rip....

Four Irish lads Shawn, Patrick, Colin and Aengus always went fishing on St Patty's day to celebrate and down a few pints but this was the year Shawn got married and his new bride wouldn't allow him to take part in the plan knowing what always went on and said he must spend the day with her....

Well this bummed ole Shawn and his friends but he said the other three should go on and have a good time without him so they did but when they got to the fish camp there was Shawn with the fire going and a cold Guinness in his hand and his friends were astonished that he was able to get away from his bride for the day and they wanted to know how he was able to pull it off....

Shawn said, well it was like this, My bride went to see that American movie "50 Shades of Grey" and when she returned home she slipped up behind me and put her hands over my eyes and said she had a surprise for me that would make me forget all about the fun I would be missing with you fellows....

When I opened my eyes and looked, she was wearing nothing but a smile and she took me by the hand and began leading me to our bedroom where on the bed she had laid out ropes and handcuffs and she said that she wanted me to tie her feet to the footboard and handcuff her hands to the headboard so she couldn't possibly move and then do whatever I wanted....

So I did and here I am!!!!

[lwcalvary]

To honor St Patty's day here is an Irish joke and if you have one let er rip....

Four Irish lads Shawn, Patrick, Colin and Aengus always went fishing on St Patty's day to celebrate and down a few pints but this was the year Shawn got married and his new bride wouldn't allow him to take part in the plan knowing what always went on and said he must spend the day with her....

Well this bummed ole Shawn and his friends but he said the other three should go on and have a good time without him so they did but when they got to the fish camp there was Shawn with the fire going and a cold Guinness in his hand and his friends were astonished that he was able to get away from his bride for the day and they wanted to know how he was able to pull it off....

Shawn said, well it was like this, My bride went to see that American movie "50 Shades of Grey" and when she returned home she slipped up behind me and put her hands over my eyes and said she had a surprise for me that would make me forget all about the fun I would be missing with you fellows....

When I opened my eyes and looked, she was wearing nothing but a smile and she took me by the hand and began leading me to our bedroom where on the bed she had laid out ropes and handcuffs and she said that she wanted me to tie her feet to the footboard and handcuff her hands to the headboard so she couldn't possibly move and then do whatever I wanted....

So I did and here I am!!!!

Shawn is one sorry ass dude������

[Bawanna]

Oh, I don't know, I'd have to see the wife before I passed judgement.

I lean towards you are correct but never know ya know. Might have married a pig with lipstick.

[b4uqzme]

Here's one. A sad faced guy walks into a bar, sits down, and orders a whiskey. Before he gets a sip a little green leprechaun jumps down off his shoulder and knocks the drink over. The barkeep looks at the sad man oddly but wipes up the mess and the man orders another. The little guy jumps down and spills it again. Barkeep holds his tongue and cleans up and the man orders another. Same thing. Little guy jumps down and knocks the whiskey over. This time curiosity gets to the barkeeper and he asks what's up? Dejectedly the man explains how he found a magic lamp with a genie. But it seems the genie had a sense of humor when the man wished for a ten inch prick...

[Brownie65]

I don't think "Shawn" is really Irish. Just saying...



———You can't always get what you want, but if you try you get what you need.

[GROTMAN]

Here's a "tame" one..
Stumbling Home


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Three Irishmen, Paddy, Sean and Seamus, were stumbling home from the pub late one night and found themselves on the road which led past the old graveyard.
"Come have a look over here," says Paddy, "It's Michael O'Grady's grave, God bless his soul. He lived to the ripe old age of 87."
"That's nothing," says Sean. "Here's one named Patrick O'Toole, it says here that he was 95 when he died."
Then Seamus yells out, "Good God, here's a fella that got to be 145!"
"What was his name?" asks Paddy.
Seamus stumbles around a bit, awkwardly lights a match to see what else is written on the stone marker, and exclaims, "Miles, from Dublin."

[CJB]

Q. What's the difference between an Irish wedding and an Irish funeral?

A. One less drunk!

[downtownv]

What's green, a mile long and has an A--Whole every 2 feet?
A St Patricks parade.....

I love the parades, especially the Pipes and Drums

[dougtoni]

Now thats some great Irish humor.

[DeaconKC]

Old Angus was dying and called his son over to his bedside. "I can smell your mother cooking corned beef and cabbage. Tis me favorite meal, so go get me some before I die." His son leaves and is gone a half hour and comes back empty handed. "Dad, I'm terribly sorry, I've pleaded and even got down on my knees and begged, but Mom says it's for the Wake."