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View Full Version : Texan humor ( in a good way)



kenemoore
06-23-2015, 06:22 PM
His name was Bubba. He was from Texas but he was in New York City and he needed a loan, So he walked into a bank in the Big Apple and asked for the loan officer.
He told the loan officer that he was going to Paris for an International redneck festival for two weeks and needed to borrow $5,000 and that he was not a depositor of the bank.
The bank officer told him that the bank would need some form of security for the loan, so the Redneck handed over the keys to a new Ferrari. The car was parked on the street in front of the bank.
The Redneck produced the title and everything checked out. The loan officer agreed to hold the car as collateral for the loan and apologized for having to charge 12% interest.
Later, the bank's president and its officers all enjoyed a good laugh at the Redneck from the Texas for using a $250,000 Ferrari as collateral for a $5,000 loan. An employee of the bank then drove the Ferrari into the bank's private underground garage and parked it.
Two weeks later, Bubba returned, repaid the $5,000 and the interest of 23.07. The loan officer said, "Sir, we are very happy to have had your business, and this transaction has worked out verynicely, but we are a little puzzled.
While you were away, we checked you out on Dunn & Bradstreet and found that you are a distinguished alumni from the University of Texas, a highly sophisticated investor and multi-millionaire with real estate and financial interests all over the world. Your investments include a large number of wind turbines around Sweetwater, Texas. What puzzles us is, why would you bother to borrow $5,000?"
The good 'ole boy replied, "Where else in New York City can I park my car for two weeks for only $23.07 and expect it to be there when I return?"
Moral of the story: just 'cause we talk funny it doesn't mean we're stupid!

muggsy
06-23-2015, 06:33 PM
Yup, the men in Texas live by their wits.

Higgy Baby
06-23-2015, 06:34 PM
+1 .....thats a good one

downtownv
06-23-2015, 07:11 PM
That's great!

mr surveyor
06-23-2015, 08:25 PM
yep, that guy lives about five miles down the road from me :)


jd

yqtszhj
06-24-2015, 12:24 AM
Thats a really good one.

I always tell people that we talk slow to get people to think we are not as smart as we really are in order to get them to let their guard down, but really we are 3 moves ahead of everyone else. So now who's really the dumb one???

Good posf and true to hos it really is.

Scarywoody
06-24-2015, 09:32 AM
A girl from Texas and a girl from New York were seated side by side on an airplane. The girl from Texas, being friendly and all, said: "So, where y'all from"?

The girl from New York said: "From a place where they know better than to use a preposition at the end of a sentence".


The girl from Texas sat quietly for a few moments and then replied: "So, where y'all from, B*TCH"?

Armybrat
06-24-2015, 08:25 PM
A girl from Texas and a girl from New York were seated side by side on an airplane. The girl from Texas, being friendly and all, said: "So, where y'all from"?

The girl from New York said: "From a place where they know better than to use a preposition at the end of a sentence".


The girl from Texas sat quietly for a few moments and then replied: "So, where y'all from, B*TCH"?
I'm married to that Texan.

Planedude
06-24-2015, 10:30 PM
True story about a Texas classic, my boss man Kenny.

We work in a shop just off the F-35 assembly line. Our shop creates the tubes for the jet (fuel, hydraulics, air and PAO) in aluminum, stainless, titanium and Inconel. We cut tube, bend tube, fit and weld tube to very precise specs. Our workforce is a bunch of old folks representing several hundreds of years of aerospace experience. All in all we do, with great pride, an amazing job with the available equipment and a ever tightening build schedule. So a while back, the corporation sent in an "efficiencies team" to help us "find" a better way to build tubes. They were an excited lot of twenty something's led by a couple of thirty something's and after one walk thru the shop they chattered about how they were ready to rock our world...


Then Kenny gathered up the new team around and after listening to some of their energetic ideals, laid it out for these youngsters. He told them "look, I think y'all need to understand one thing about this shop. We are lazy around here, not stupid and if there is a easy, fast way to do anything in this shop, then we are already doing it."


After a couple of days of "study" the team had some lines painted of the floor to "define the workspace" (that our group has worked in for 20+yrs) and then they were off. They left like a pack of excited Chihuahuas chasing a mailman...

Bye...:der:

Kenny just has a way of saying like it is, without any excitement... Texas style.

mr surveyor
06-25-2015, 08:30 AM
Hey Planedude ..... you know us older Texans just became "lazy" through a lot of years of "experience" ;)

I like your story

jd

Armybrat
06-26-2015, 07:53 AM
Great story, Planedude.