February's Fun Farsical Favors

[RevRay]

I noticed that no one had started a thread for February's humor, so I decided to be pro-active ... just saying!

[GROTMAN]

A Scottish couple took in an 18-year-old girl as a lodger.

She asked if she might have a bath, but; the woman of the house told her they didn't
have a bath, although if she wanted to, she could use a tin bath in front of the fire.

"Monday's the best night, when my husband goes out to darts," she said.


The girl then agreed she would have a bath the following Monday.

After her husband had gone to the pub for his darts match, the woman filled the bath and
watched the girl get undressed. She was surprised to see that the lass didn't have any pubic hair.

She mentioned this to her husband when he came home. He didn't believe her, so she said: "Next
Monday, when you go to darts, leave a little early and wait in the back garden.

I'll leave a gap in the curtains so you can see for yourself."

So the following Monday, while the girl again got undressed, the wife asked: "Do
you shave?"


"No," replied the girl. "I've just never grown any hair down there. Do you have hair?"


"Oh, yes," said the woman, and she pulled up her nightdress and showed the girl that she was most generously
endowed in the hair department .




The girl finished her bath and went to bed.




Later that night, when the husband came in, the wife asked him, "Well, did you see ?"




"Yes," he said, "but why the hell did you have to show her yours."

"Why are you worried about that?" she said.
"You've seen it often enough."




"I know," he said, "but the dart team hadn't!"

[CJB]

Shot bourbon and ginger ale out of my nose!

[340pd]

My missus packed my bags, and as I walked out the front door, she screamed,
"I wish you a slow and painful death, you bastard!"
"Oh," I replied, "so now you want me to stay?"

[muggsy]

The other day I was trying to teach my grandson how to fly a kite, but I was having trouble getting the kite up in the air. My wife yelled out the window, "You need more tail." Just like a woman, the other night she told me to go fly a kite.

[wyntrout]

https://scontent-atl3-1.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-xft1/v/t1.0-9/12654249_980041905378020_9035237836289492337_n.jpg ?oh=686a8acc48360a31b45ed101deea0e07&oe=577000D4

[TheTman]

Hillary launches a new perfume:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nLsMLqusd-Q

[GROTMAN]

http://i.imgur.com/s31u7oM.jpg

[wyntrout]

*********************************** Since her new husband is so old, Jenny decides that after their wedding she and Roger should have separate bedrooms, because she is concerned that her new but aged husband may over-exert himself if they spend the entire night together. After the wedding festivities Jenny prepares herself for bed and the expected knock on the door. Sure enough the knock comes, the door opens and there is Roger, her 85 year old groom, ready for action. They unite as one. All goes well, Roger takes leave of his bride, and she prepares to go to sleep. After a few minutes, Jenny hears another knock on her bedroom door, and it’s Roger. Again he is ready for more ‘action’. Somewhat surprised, Jenny consents for more coupling. When the newlyweds are done, Roger kisses his bride, bids her a fond good night and leaves. She is set to go to sleep again, but, aha, you guessed it – Roger is back again, rapping on the door and is as fresh as a 25-year-old, ready for more ‘action’. And, once more they enjoy each other. But as Roger gets set to leave again, his young bride says to him, ‘I am thoroughly impressed that at your age you can perform so well and so often. I have been with guys less than a third of your age who were only good once. You are truly a great lover, Roger.’ Roger, somewhat embarrassed, turns to Jenny and says: ‘You mean I was here already?’

[wyntrout]

Three elderly golfers are walking down the fairway. “Sixty is the WORST age to be,” said the sixty-year-old man. “You always feel like you have to pee. But most of the time, nothing happens!” “Ah, that’s nothing,” said the seventy-year-old man. “When you’re seventy, you don’t have bowel movements anymore.” “You take laxatives, eat bran, sit on the toilet all day but NOTHING happens!” Then the oldest of the three men chimed in. “Actually,” said the eighty-year-old man, “Eighty is the WORST age of all!” The sixty-year-old man asked, “Do you have trouble peeing too?” “Oh no. I pee like a racehorse every morning at 6:00 A.M.,” the 80-year-old man replied. The seventy-year-old man asked, “Do you have a problem having a bowel movement?” “Oh no, no, no. I have one every morning at 6:30 A.M. religiously,” the 80-year-old man replied. Baffled by this, the sixty-year-old said, “Let’s get this straight. You pee every morning at 6:00 A.M. and you poop every morning at 6:30 A.M. So what’s so hard about being eighty-years-old?” “Well, I don’t wake up until 7 A.M.!” **************************

[kenemoore]

Two wives go out for girls night.
Both got drunk, started walking home and had to pee.
They stopped at a cemetery, but had nothing to wipe with.
One use her panties, the other grabbed a wreath off a grave.
The next morning one husband called the other and said
"No more girls night out! My wife came back with no panties!"
The other husband said " You think that's bad? Mine came back with a card in her crack, that read
from all of us at the fire station...We will never forget you!

[kenemoore]

After his plane was hit and he was forced to eject the Navy fighter pilot finally regained consciousness in a hospital in agonizing pain.
He found himself in the ICU with tubes in his mouth, IV drips in both arms, a breathing mask, wires monitoring every function and an absolutely stunning, gorgeous, and sexy nurse hovering over him looking worried. He realized he was in a life-threatening situation.
The nurse gave him a serious look, straight into his eyes. Knowing he was not only a fighter pilot but also a sailor she spoke to him softly and slowly enunciating each word;
"You may not feel anything from the waist down."
Somehow he managed to mumble in reply; ‘'Can I feel your t*ts?"
That my friends is a real positive attitude.

[wyntrout]

https://scontent-atl3-1.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-xaf1/v/t1.0-9/10151266_966966210044720_7209427529188012994_n.jpg ?oh=e071148febb536b69eac3db9fdcbebe9&oe=572CC205

[wyntrout]

http://2v7fdhblamx236owi3dpih4l.wpengine.netdna-cdn.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/02/vv1.jpg (http://2v7fdhblamx236owi3dpih4l.wpengine.netdna-cdn.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/02/vv1.jpg)
http://2v7fdhblamx236owi3dpih4l.wpengine.netdna-cdn.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/02/vv2.jpg (http://2v7fdhblamx236owi3dpih4l.wpengine.netdna-cdn.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/02/vv2.jpg)
http://2v7fdhblamx236owi3dpih4l.wpengine.netdna-cdn.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/02/vv3.jpg (http://2v7fdhblamx236owi3dpih4l.wpengine.netdna-cdn.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/02/vv3.jpg)
http://2v7fdhblamx236owi3dpih4l.wpengine.netdna-cdn.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/02/vv4.jpg (http://2v7fdhblamx236owi3dpih4l.wpengine.netdna-cdn.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/02/vv4.jpg)
http://2v7fdhblamx236owi3dpih4l.wpengine.netdna-cdn.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/02/vv5.jpg (http://2v7fdhblamx236owi3dpih4l.wpengine.netdna-cdn.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/02/vv5.jpg)

[340pd]

https://web.mail.comcast.net/service/home/%7E/?id=864091&part=13&auth=co&max_width=800

[wyntrout]

************************************************** **** Why did I get divorced? Well, last week was my birthday. My wife didn’t wish me a happy birthday. My parents forgot and so did my kids. I went to work and even my colleagues didn’t wish me a happy birthday. As I entered my office, my secretary said, “Happy birthday, boss!” I felt so SPECIAL! She asked me out for lunch. After lunch, she invited me to her apartment! We went there and she said, “Do you mind if I go into the bedroom for a minute?” “Okay!” I said. She came out 5 minutes later with a birthday cake, my wife, my parents, my kids, my friends, & my colleagues all yelling, “SURPRISE!!!” While I was waiting on the sofa… NAKED.
************************************************** ****

[getsome]

Good one Wyn!

[getsome]

Two hospital Doctors were discussing their newly hired head floor Nurse Nancy....One Doctor said to the other one, You know we may have made a mistake when we decided to hire Nurse Nancy because I think she may be dyslexic or something because I gave her orders to give Mrs. Jackson 1 shot of pain medication every 4 hours and she gave her 4 shots every hour and nearly killed her....The other Doctor said, you know the same thing happened when I told her to give Mrs. Thompson an enema every 8 hours and she gave her 8 enemas in an hour and Mrs. Thompson was none to happy about that at all.....The first Doctor suddenly got a panicked look on his face and said Oh My God I've got to find Nurse Nancy fast because I told her to prick Mr. Dixons boil before she left for the day!!!!........:2eek:

[wyntrout]

He Didn’t Expect His Wife To Keep Having Babies. What He Says Next Is So Stupid It Hurts.

In the backwoods of Arkansas, Mr. Stewart’s wife went into labor in the middle of the night. The doctor was called in to assist in the delivery.


To keep the nervous father-to-be busy, the doctor handed him a lantern and said, “Here, you hold this high so I can see what I’m doing.”



Soon, a baby boy was brought into the world.”Don’t be in a rush to put the lantern down. I think there’s yet another wee one to come.”



Sure enough, within minutes he had delivered another baby.



“Now don’t be in a great hurry to be putting down that lantern, young man. It seems there’s yet another!” cried the doctor.



The new father scratched his head in bewilderment and asked the doctor. “Do ya think it’s the light that’s attractin’ them?”

[wyntrout]

https://scontent-atl3-1.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-xta1/v/t1.0-9/12495162_1162452127100549_5592116001282075919_n.jp g?oh=4a6e2b9cf45b4d457091972ef42b23a3&oe=576A8CA7 (https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=1162452127100549&set=a.190333614312410.51959.100000073178687&type=3)



A male patient is lying in bed in the hospital, wearing an oxygen mask over his mouth and nose. A young student nurse appears and gives him a partial sponge bath.


"Nurse,"' he mumbles from behind the mask, "are my testicles black?"



Embarrassed, the young nurse replies, "I don't know, Sir. I'm only here to wash your upper body and feet."



He struggles to ask again, "Nurse, please check for me. Are my testicles black?"



Concerned that he might elevate his blood pressure and heart rate from worrying about his testicles, she overcomes her embarrassment and pulls back the covers. She raises his gown, holds his manhood in one hand and his testicles gently in the other. She looks very closely and says, "There's nothing wrong with them, Sir. They look fine."



The man slowly pulls off his oxygen mask, smiles at her, and says very slowly, "Thank you very much. That was wonderful.
Now listen very, very closely:

Are - my - test - results - back?"

[wyntrout]

http://2v7fdhblamx236owi3dpih4l.wpengine.netdna-cdn.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/02/oo1.jpg (http://2v7fdhblamx236owi3dpih4l.wpengine.netdna-cdn.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/02/oo1.jpg)
http://2v7fdhblamx236owi3dpih4l.wpengine.netdna-cdn.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/02/oo2.jpg (http://2v7fdhblamx236owi3dpih4l.wpengine.netdna-cdn.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/02/oo2.jpg)
http://2v7fdhblamx236owi3dpih4l.wpengine.netdna-cdn.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/02/oo3.jpg (http://2v7fdhblamx236owi3dpih4l.wpengine.netdna-cdn.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/02/oo3.jpg)
http://2v7fdhblamx236owi3dpih4l.wpengine.netdna-cdn.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/02/oo4.jpg (http://2v7fdhblamx236owi3dpih4l.wpengine.netdna-cdn.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/02/oo4.jpg)
http://2v7fdhblamx236owi3dpih4l.wpengine.netdna-cdn.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/02/oo5.jpg (http://2v7fdhblamx236owi3dpih4l.wpengine.netdna-cdn.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/02/oo5.jpg)

[GROTMAN]

Wasn't sure whether to post this here or in the political forum. Turns out Obama and Christie go back way further than anyone first knew..
http://i.imgur.com/w9nu2X9.jpg

[GLOCKROCKER]

Wasn't sure whether to post this here or in the political forum. Turns out Obama and Christie go back way further than anyone first knew..
http://i.imgur.com/w9nu2X9.jpg
I just had to go change my drawers! Friggin hilarious:biggrin1:

[muggsy]

Priceless.

[getsome]

It really hurts when you squirt hot coffee out your nose!!!....Good one Grot

[CJB]

You forgot to mention Hillary in the middle between them

[GROTMAN]

Men's Thoughts

I woke up this morning at 8, and could smell something was wrong. I got downstairs and found the wife face down on the kitchen floor, not breathing! I panicked. I didn’t know what to do. Then I remembered McDonald’s serves breakfast until 10:30.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
The wife’s back on the warpath again. She was up for making a sex movie last night, and all I did was suggest we should hold auditions for her part.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I’ve accidentally swallowed some Scrabble tiles. My next crap could spell disaster.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I spent a couple of hours defrosting the fridge last night, or “foreplay” as she likes to call it.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Bought the missus a hamster skin coat last week. Took her to the fair last night, and it took me 3 hours to get her off the Ferris wheel.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
The other night, my wife asked me how many women I’d slept with. I told her, “Only you. All the others kept me awake!”
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
My missus packed my bags, and as I walked out the front door, she screamed, “I wish you a slow and painful death, you bastard!”. “Oh,” I replied, “so now you want me to stay!”
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
A government survey has shown that 91% of illegal immigrants come to this country so that they can see their own doctor.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I’ve just installed strobe lights in the bedroom. It makes the wife look like she’s moving during sex.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

[wyntrout]

It's too bad that we don't have a "Like" button. I would comment more often by liking posts! :-)

I liked a LOT of the posts. I try to post stuff to share those that I run across that make me laugh.

Keep up the good work!

Wynn :)

[wyntrout]

This one may be a bit overboard, so feel free to remove the post if it's too "bad".


My apologies if anyone is offended, but a lot of people post pictures of cats doing humorous things... this IS ART! :D


Subject: Norman Rockwell's seldom seen "Cat Prevents House Fire"

















https://scontent-mia1-1.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-xat1/v/t1.0-9/10462645_948816441852672_1434022511601959580_n.jpg ?oh=a4c5fbcb7effd904b8c1a3f64289b2e3&oe=5734EB2B

[Ken L]

"For Lent, I think I'll just give up"--Carly Fiorina

[b4uqzme]

It really hurts when you squirt hot coffee out your nose!!!....Good one Grot

FYI -- It's no different with whiskey... just sayin'.

[b4uqzme]

It's too bad that we don't have a "Like" button. I would comment more often by liking posts! :-)

I liked a LOT of the posts. I try to post stuff to share those that I run across that make me laugh.

Keep up the good work!


Wynn :)

...it has been a good month, hasn't it?

[yqtszhj]

You forgot to mention Hillary in the middle between them
LOL. I was just about to say that.

[wyntrout]

*************************** A man left for work one Friday afternoon. But, since it was pay-day, instead of going home, he stayed out the entire weekend partying with the boys and spending his entire paycheck. When he finally appeared at home, Sunday night, he was confronted by a very angry wife and was hammered for nearly two hours with a tirade befitting his actions. Finally his wife stopped the nagging and simply said to him. “How would you like it if you didn’t see me for two or three days?”
To which he replied. “That would be fine with me.” Monday went by and he didn’t see his wife. Tuesday and Wednesday came and went with the same results. Come Thursday, and the swelling went down just enough where he could see her a little out of the corner of his left eye. ***************************

[Bills1873]

More coffee out the nose! Darned funny!

[wyntrout]

https://scontent-atl3-1.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-xaf1/v/t1.0-9/150620_584110508272360_1919702395_n.jpg?oh=5492286 72d263ab395fe0de26094d7c3&oe=572A6AD5

(https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=584110508272360&set=a.402692189747527.112795.100000202494701&type=3)



BLONDE
Of all the blonde jokes, this one has to be one of the best -- because it makes football make sense!
A guy took his blonde girlfriend to her first football game. They had great seats right behind their team's bench. After the game, he asked her how she liked it.
"Oh, I really liked it," she replied, "especially the tight pants and all the big muscles, but
I just couldn’t understand why they were killing each other over 25 cents."
Dumbfounded, her boyfriend asked, "What do you mean?"
"Well, they flipped a coin, one team got it and then for the rest of the game, all they kept screaming was...
'Get the quarterback! Get the quarterback!'
I'm like...Helloooooo?
It's only 25 cents!!!!"

[DeaconKC]

Why did the blonde spend 2 hours staring at her Ford?
It said Focus

[CJB]

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v214/bandersnatchreverb/MAIN/20160213_183151_zpsr2nnmznt.jpg

On the subject of blondes.... I happened to stop in this place in Port Charlotte, Fl yesterday. Saving grace was a nice classic outside

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v214/bandersnatchreverb/MAIN/20160213_183125_zps1ptxiw73.jpg
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v214/bandersnatchreverb/MAIN/20160213_183145_zpsywj9gzgq.jpg

[Tpepper70]

This just cracks me up. Glad my wife understands me.

Her Diary:

Tonight, I thought my husband was acting weird. We had made plans to meet at a nice restaurant for dinner. I was shopping with my friends all day long, so I thought he was upset at the fact that I was a bit late but he made no comment on it. Conversation wasn’t flowing so I suggested that we go somewhere quiet so we could talk. He agreed but he didn’t say much. I asked him what was wrong. He said “Nothing”. I asked him if it was my fault that he was upset. He said he wasn’t upset, that it had nothing to do with me and not to worry about it. On the way home, I told him that I loved him. He smiled slightly and kept driving. I can’t explain his behavior. I don’t know why he didn’t say “I love you too”. When we got home, I felt as if I had lost him completely, as if he wanted nothing to do with me anymore. He just sat there quietly and watched TV. He continued to seem distant and absent. Finally, with silence all around us, I decided to go to bed. About 15 minutes later, he came to bed. But I still felt that he was distracted and his thoughts were somewhere else. He fell asleep. I cried. I don’t know what to do. I’m almost sure that his thoughts are with someone else. My life is a disaster.

His Diary:

Motorcycle won’t start…can’t figure out why.

Cruce Dum Spiro Fido

[Bills1873]

That would do it! Or, had a ftf today.

[wyntrout]

Irishman Says Something He Shouldn’t Have About His Wife At The Pub. This Is Brilliant.

John O’Reilly hoisted his beer and said, ‘Here’s to spending the rest of me life!, between the legs of me wife!’


That won him the top prize at the pub for the best toast of the night!



He went home and told his wife, Mary, ‘I won the prize for the Best toast of the night’

She said, ‘Aye, did ye now. And what was your toast?’

John said, ‘Here’s to spending the rest of me life, sitting in church beside me wife.’

‘Oh, that is very nice indeed, John!’ Mary said.



The next day, Mary ran into one of John’s drinking buddies on the street corner.



The man chuckled leeringly and said, ‘John won the prize the other night at the pub with a toast about you, Mary.’

She said, ‘Aye, he told me, and I was a bit surprised myself. You know, he’s only been there twice in the last four years. Once he fell asleep, and the other time I had to pull him by the ears.

[GROTMAN]

Mrs O'reilly ?

http://i.imgur.com/GZEQYkG.gif

[Bawanna]

Whew, heavy thigh.

[wyntrout]

https://scontent-atl3-1.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-xaf1/v/t1.0-0/p480x480/11041794_661944493931621_3015806990198240932_n.jpg ?oh=b5d660e9f287182e8435fd3010a9f863&oe=572C3800
(https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=661944493931621&set=a.361595333966540.1073741842.100003482307997&type=3)

[wyntrout]

https://scontent-atl3-1.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-xpa1/v/t1.0-0/p480x480/1918970_190879947932242_8545133687196363317_n.jpg? oh=7073ab5f0a7916d96da5e79dd986e9eb&oe=572F557E

(https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=190879947932242&set=gm.693045494131494&type=3)

‎

[wyntrout]

Two little kids are in a hospital, lying on stretchers next to each other outside the operating room.

The first kid leans over and asks, “What are you in here for?”

The second kid says, “I’m in here to get my tonsils out and I’m a little nervous.”



The first kid says, “You’ve got nothing to worry about. I had that done when I was 4. They put you to sleep, and
when you wake up they give you lots of Jell-O and ice cream. It’s a breeze.”



The second kid then asks, “What are you here for?”



The first kid says, “A circumcision.”



And the second kid says, “Whoa, Good luck buddy, I had that done when I was born. Couldn’t walk for a year.”

[wyntrout]

There was an old man who had worked all of his life and had saved all of his money. He was a real miser when it came to his money. He loved money more than just about anything, and just before he died he said to his wife, “Now listen, when I die I want you to take all my money and place it in the casket with me. I want to take all my money to the afterlife.” So he got his wife to promise him with all her heart that when he died, she would put all the money in the casket with him. Well, one day he finally died. He was stretched out in the casket, the wife was sitting there in black next to their best friend. When they finished the ceremony, just before the undertakers got ready to close the casket, the wife yelled, “Wait a minute!” She had a shoe-box with her. She came over with the box and placed it in the casket. Then the undertakers locked the casket and rolled it away. Her friend said, “I hope you weren’t crazy enough to put all that money in there with that stingy old man.” She said, “Yes, I promised. I’m a good Christian, I can’t lie. I promised him that I was going to put that money in that casket with him.” “You mean to tell me you put every cent of his money in the casket with him?” her friend asked. “I sure did,” said the wife. “I got it all together, put it into my account and I wrote him a check.”

[RevRay]

She wrote him check ... that's funny!

[DavidWJ]

Sadly, only too true. Enabled and encouraged by the Demos (an appropriate name.)

[Dbholfo]

http://www.kahrtalk.com/attachment.php?attachmentid=13437&stc=1

[kenemoore]

It's been a great month so far, the good ones just keep on coming in.

[wyntrout]

Funny, but VERY VULGAR & PROFANE bar song:

https://www.facebook.com/OkDumbass/videos/958547644234123/

It's just nasty, but funny.

[wyntrout]

That's a pain in the ass

https://scontent-mia1-1.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-xpt1/v/t1.0-0/s480x480/12592769_822933531149584_4176488944867952985_n.jpg ?oh=29ee71caa6039f436f28237e668b6639&oe=575CE2E8

(https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=822933531149584&set=a.687269368049335.1073741829.100002988354288&type=3)

Ouch! :D

[wyntrout]

https://scontent-mia1-1.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-xft1/v/t1.0-9/11145555_1108967159145051_2592831402824574078_n.jp g?oh=319dbe3205822a0ad63eb737c0a96cd3&oe=576E8A5C

[wyntrout]

Fun beer!

https://www.facebook.com/mumcfo/videos/1740075836222242/

(https://www.facebook.com/mumcfo/videos/1740075836222242/)
Watch 'til the end. It really gets funny at about 1 minute in.

Wynn :D

[wyntrout]

http://i.litcdn.com/sv/empoff.jpg

[Bills1873]

Oh no!

[RustyGunn]

A teacher noticed that a little boy at the back of the class was squirming around, scratching his crotch and not paying attention.
She went back to find out what was going on. He was quite embarrassed and whispered that he had just recently been circumcised and he was quite itchy.
The teacher told him to go down to the principal's office. He was to phone his mother and ask her what he should do about it.
He did it and returned to his class. Suddenly, there was a commotion at the back of the room.
She went back to investigate only to find him sitting at his desk with his ***** hanging out. "I thought I told you to call your mom." she screamed.
"I did," he said, "And she told me that if I could stick it out till noon, she'd come and pick me up from school."

[RustyGunn]

The wedding date was set and the groom's three pals - a carpenter, an electrician, and a dentist - were deciding what pranks to play on the couple on their wedding night.
The carpenter figured sawing the slats of their bed would give them a chuckle or two.
The electrician decided to wire the bed - with alternating current, of course.
The dentist wouldn't commit himself, but wore a sly grin and promised it would be memorable.
The nuptials went as planned and a few days later, each of the groom's buddies received the following note:
"DEAR FRIENDS,WE DIDN'T MIND THE BED SLATS BEING SAWED. THE ELECTRIC SHOCK WAS ONLY A MINOR SETBACK. BUT I'M GOING TO KILL THE GUY WHO PUT NOVOCAINE IN THE VASELINE!"