March toward the light(er) side of the month!

[CJB]

Sometime this year, we taxpayers will again receive another 'Economic Stimulus' payment.
This is indeed a very exciting program, and I'll explain it by using a Q & A format:
Q. What is an 'Economic Stimulus' payment ?
A. It is money that the federal government will send to taxpayers.
Q.Where will the government get this money ?
A. From taxpayers.
Q. So the government is giving me back my own money ?
A. Only a smidgen of it.
Q. What is the purpose of this payment ?
A. The plan is for you to use the money to purchase a;high-definition TV set, thus stimulating the economy.
Q. But isn't that stimulating the economy of China ?
A. Shut up.
Below is some helpful advice on how to best help the U.S. Economy by spending your stimulus check wisely:
* If you spend the stimulus money at Wal-Mart, the money will;go to China or Sri Lanka .
* If you spend it on gasoline, your money will go to theArabs.
* If you purchase a computer, it will go to India , Taiwan or;China ...
* If you purchase fruit and vegetables, it will go to Mexico , Honduras and Guatemala ...
* If you buy an efficient car, it will go to Japan or Korea .
* If you purchase useless stuff, it will go to Taiwan .
* If you pay your credit cards off, or buy stock, it will go ;to management bonuses and they will hide it offshore.
Instead, keep the money in America by:
1) Spending it at yard sales, or
2) Going to ball games, or
3) Spending it on prostitutes, or
4) Beer or
5) Tattoos.
(These are the only American businesses still operating in the U.S. )
Conclusion:
Go to a ball game with a tattooed prostitute that you met at a yard;sale and drink beer all day !
No need to thank me, I'm just glad I could be of help.

[Bills1873]

You are good, CJB!

[CJB]

http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/81woKoNu5rL._SX522_.jpg


Good Lord.... A cookir cutter fot thr rainbow crowd.
http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/814bjl5yNgL._SX522_.jpg

[wyntrout]

https://scontent-atl3-1.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-xlt1/v/t1.0-9/12821540_919439948172784_4163781579780307298_n.jpg ?oh=6f4df7e78ff8fccff101e3e32586c288&oe=574D0D52

[wyntrout]

http://2v7fdhblamx236owi3dpih4l.wpengine.netdna-cdn.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/02/we1.jpg (http://2v7fdhblamx236owi3dpih4l.wpengine.netdna-cdn.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/02/we1.jpg)
http://2v7fdhblamx236owi3dpih4l.wpengine.netdna-cdn.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/02/we2.jpg (http://2v7fdhblamx236owi3dpih4l.wpengine.netdna-cdn.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/02/we2.jpg)
http://2v7fdhblamx236owi3dpih4l.wpengine.netdna-cdn.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/02/we3.jpg (http://2v7fdhblamx236owi3dpih4l.wpengine.netdna-cdn.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/02/we3.jpg)
http://2v7fdhblamx236owi3dpih4l.wpengine.netdna-cdn.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/02/we4.jpg (http://2v7fdhblamx236owi3dpih4l.wpengine.netdna-cdn.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/02/we4.jpg)
http://2v7fdhblamx236owi3dpih4l.wpengine.netdna-cdn.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/02/we5.jpg (http://2v7fdhblamx236owi3dpih4l.wpengine.netdna-cdn.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/02/we5.jpg)
http://2v7fdhblamx236owi3dpih4l.wpengine.netdna-cdn.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/02/we6.jpg (http://2v7fdhblamx236owi3dpih4l.wpengine.netdna-cdn.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/02/we6.jpg)
http://2v7fdhblamx236owi3dpih4l.wpengine.netdna-cdn.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/02/we7.jpg (http://2v7fdhblamx236owi3dpih4l.wpengine.netdna-cdn.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/02/we7.jpg)
http://2v7fdhblamx236owi3dpih4l.wpengine.netdna-cdn.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/02/we8.jpg (http://2v7fdhblamx236owi3dpih4l.wpengine.netdna-cdn.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/02/we8.jpg)

[wyntrout]

Little Johnny is back and this time he's making a great point. http://2v7fdhblamx236owi3dpih4l.wpengine.netdna-cdn.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/03/qa1.jpg (http://2v7fdhblamx236owi3dpih4l.wpengine.netdna-cdn.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/03/qa1.jpg)
http://2v7fdhblamx236owi3dpih4l.wpengine.netdna-cdn.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/03/qa2.jpg (http://2v7fdhblamx236owi3dpih4l.wpengine.netdna-cdn.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/03/qa2.jpg)
http://2v7fdhblamx236owi3dpih4l.wpengine.netdna-cdn.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/03/qa3.jpg (http://2v7fdhblamx236owi3dpih4l.wpengine.netdna-cdn.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/03/qa3.jpg)
http://2v7fdhblamx236owi3dpih4l.wpengine.netdna-cdn.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/03/qa4.jpg (http://2v7fdhblamx236owi3dpih4l.wpengine.netdna-cdn.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/03/qa4.jpg)
http://2v7fdhblamx236owi3dpih4l.wpengine.netdna-cdn.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/03/qa5.jpg (http://2v7fdhblamx236owi3dpih4l.wpengine.netdna-cdn.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/03/qa5.jpg)
http://2v7fdhblamx236owi3dpih4l.wpengine.netdna-cdn.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/03/qa6.jpg (http://2v7fdhblamx236owi3dpih4l.wpengine.netdna-cdn.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/03/qa6.jpg)

[wyntrout]

I could handle this one! :-D


https://scontent-atl3-1.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-xpl1/v/t1.0-9/12742504_450692705140873_819621875891058925_n.jpg? oh=33993a8dcafa581fe30859091af4b56e&oe=5767C07F

As soon as my prostate surgery is healed(TURP on 23 Feb.), I'm going to get my GI doctor to do something about my hemorrhoids so that I can get back on the treadmill. I was trying to get back into a lot of walking and a bit of running, but my my hemmies said "unh unh"! :(

TURP: http://www.hopkinsmedicine.org/healthlibrary/test_procedures/urology/transurethral_resection_of_the_prostate_turp_92,P0 9349/

[wyntrout]

http://www.americasfreedomfighters.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/06/ajokememe2.jpg

[wyntrout]

http://2v7fdhblamx236owi3dpih4l.wpengine.netdna-cdn.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/03/rf1.jpg (http://2v7fdhblamx236owi3dpih4l.wpengine.netdna-cdn.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/03/rf1.jpg) http://2v7fdhblamx236owi3dpih4l.wpengine.netdna-cdn.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/03/rf2.jpg (http://2v7fdhblamx236owi3dpih4l.wpengine.netdna-cdn.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/03/rf2.jpg)
http://2v7fdhblamx236owi3dpih4l.wpengine.netdna-cdn.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/03/rf3.jpg (http://2v7fdhblamx236owi3dpih4l.wpengine.netdna-cdn.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/03/rf3.jpg)
http://2v7fdhblamx236owi3dpih4l.wpengine.netdna-cdn.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/03/rf4.jpg (http://2v7fdhblamx236owi3dpih4l.wpengine.netdna-cdn.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/03/rf4.jpg)
http://2v7fdhblamx236owi3dpih4l.wpengine.netdna-cdn.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/03/rf5.jpg (http://2v7fdhblamx236owi3dpih4l.wpengine.netdna-cdn.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/03/rf5.jpg)
http://2v7fdhblamx236owi3dpih4l.wpengine.netdna-cdn.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/03/rf6.jpg (http://2v7fdhblamx236owi3dpih4l.wpengine.netdna-cdn.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/03/rf6.jpg)
http://2v7fdhblamx236owi3dpih4l.wpengine.netdna-cdn.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/03/rf7.jpg (http://2v7fdhblamx236owi3dpih4l.wpengine.netdna-cdn.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/03/rf7.jpg)
http://2v7fdhblamx236owi3dpih4l.wpengine.netdna-cdn.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/03/rf8.jpg (http://2v7fdhblamx236owi3dpih4l.wpengine.netdna-cdn.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/03/rf8.jpg)

[Harrylee]

http://www.kahrtalk.com/attachment.php?attachmentid=13525&stc=1

[wyntrout]

This may have been posted recently:

http://www.americasfreedomfighters.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/11/aboc.jpg (http://www.americasfreedomfighters.comwp-content/uploads/2015/11/aboc.jpg)

http://www.americasfreedomfighters.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/11/aboc2.jpg (http://www.americasfreedomfighters.comwp-content/uploads/2015/11/aboc2.jpg)


http://www.americasfreedomfighters.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/11/aboc3.jpg (http://www.americasfreedomfighters.comwp-content/uploads/2015/11/aboc3.jpg)

[Armybrat]

Jocko sent a picture of his travels...

http://www.shockmansion.com/wp-content/myimages/2016/02/Posted-On-Shock-Mansion2011.jpg

[wyntrout]

A manager at Walmart had the task of hiring someone to fill a job opening. After sorting through a stack of resumes, he found four people who were equally qualified. He decided to call the four in and ask them only one question. Their answer would determine which of them would get the job. The day came and as the four sat around the conference room table, the interviewer asked, “What is the fastest thing you know of?” The first man replied, “A THOUGHT. It just pops into your head. There’s no warning.” “That’s very good!” replied the interviewer. “And, now you sir?” he asked the second man. “Hmm, let me see, a BLINK! It comes and goes and you don’t know that it ever happened. A blink is the fastest thing I know of.” “Excellent!” said the interviewer. “The blink of an eye, that’s a very popular cliché for speed.” He then turned to the third man, who was contemplating his reply. “Well, out at my dad’s ranch, you step out of the house, and on the wall there’s a light switch. When you flip that switch, way out across the pasture, the light on the barn comes on in less than an instant. Yep, turning on a light is the fastest thing I can think of.” The interviewer was very impressed with the third answer and thought he had found his man. “It’s hard to beat the speed of light,” he said. Turning to Bubba, the fourth and final man, the interviewer posed the same question. Old Bubba replied, “After hearing the previous three answers, it’s obvious to me that the fastest thing known is DIARRHEA!” “What!?” said the interviewer, stunned by the response. “Oh sure,” said Bubba. “You see, the other day I wasn’t feeling so good, and I ran for the bathroom, but before I could THINK, BLINK, or TURN ON THE LIGHT, I had already sh*t my pants.” Bubba is now the new greeter at a Walmart near you!

[wyntrout]

A woman was sure that her husband was cheating on her and having an affair with their maid. So she laid down an awesome trap. One evening she suddenly sent the maid home for the weekend but she didn’t tell her husband. Later that night when they went to bed, the husband gave the old story- Excuse me my dear, I have a stomach ache and went to the bathroom, as he always does. The wife immediately went into the maid’s room and jumped into her bed. She switched the lights off. When he came in silently, he wasted no time or words but quickly got on top of her and took care of business. When he finished and was still out of breath, the wife said, “You didn’t expect to find me in this bed, did you?” And then she switched on the light. That’s when she got a big surprise. “No mam, I sure didn’t,” the gardener said!

[kenemoore]

Wyntrout, you are a hoot!

[muggsy]

Racists for Trump parody. SNL

http://usat.ly/1p8PqYQ

[DavidWJ]

Does the "racists" video tell you something about the kind of money being spent to defeat Trump? SNL used to be low-budget.

[muggsy]

Does the "racists" video tell you something about the kind of money being spent to defeat Trump? SNL used to be low-budget.

What, the money being spent by the liberals? Where's your sense of humor?

[jeepster09]

You be the judge



​I took down my Rebel flag (which you CAN'T buy on ebay any more) and peeled the NRA sticker off the front door.





I disconnected my home alarm system and quit the candy-ass Neighborhood Watch. I bought two Pakistani flags and put one at each corner of the front yard. Then I purchased the black flag of ISIS (which you CAN buy on ebay) and ran it up the flag pole





Now, the local police, sheriff, FBI, CIA, NSA, Homeland Security, Secret Service and other agencies are all watching my house 24/7. I've NEVER felt safer and I'm saving $69.95 a month that ADT used to charge me.





Plus, I bought burkas for my family when we shop or travel. Everyone moves out of the way and security can't pat us down.





Hot Damn — Safe at last — Ain’t America great or what?

[ltxi]

You be the judge



​I took down my Rebel flag (which you CAN'T buy on ebay any more) and peeled the NRA sticker off the front door.





I disconnected my home alarm system and quit the candy-ass Neighborhood Watch. I bought two Pakistani flags and put one at each corner of the front yard. Then I purchased the black flag of ISIS (which you CAN buy on ebay) and ran it up the flag pole





Now, the local police, sheriff, FBI, CIA, NSA, Homeland Security, Secret Service and other agencies are all watching my house 24/7. I've NEVER felt safer and I'm saving $69.95 a month that ADT used to charge me.





Plus, I bought burkas for my family when we shop or travel. Everyone moves out of the way and security can't pat us down.





Hot Damn — Safe at last — Ain’t America great or what?












Thumbs Up!

[wyntrout]

https://scontent-iad3-1.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-xtp1/v/t1.0-9/11046912_816999161703331_2736049058359750551_n.jpg ?oh=61fe6dae4af5eced2f539497fdcfb910&oe=5792890C

[muggsy]

The Washington Redskins finally drops offensive name:

Dan Snyder, owner of the NFL Redskins, has announced that the team is dropping "Washington" from the team name, and it will henceforth be simply known as "The Redskins."

It was reported that he finds the word 'Washington' imparts a negative image of poor leadership, mismanagement, corruption, cheating, lying, and graft, and is not a fitting role-model for young fans of football.

[wyntrout]

Good one Muggsy. :)

[GLOCKROCKER]

13561

[GROTMAN]

Wife is always talking about getting someone to fix some things around the house. I think I'm about ready to go for it ..:o
http://i.imgur.com/QHGAK8M.jpg

[b4uqzme]

I met a gender confused Irish couple the other day: Michael Fitzpatrick and Patrick Fitzmichael. Happy St. Paddy's day!

[muggsy]

Da ya know how they separate the men from the boys in Greece? With a crowbar.

[ltxi]

Wife is always talking about getting someone to fix some things around the house. I think I'm about ready to go for it ..:o
http://i.imgur.com/QHGAK8M.jpg

Ass is too fat....

[CJB]

Da ya know how they separate the men from the boys in Greece? With a crowbar.

Been hanging with Jocko too long there Muggs

[wyntrout]

A woman decided to have a face lift for her birthday. She spent $5000 and felt really good about the results. On her way home she stopped at a dress shop to look around. As she was leaving, she said to the sales clerk, "I hope you don't mind me asking, but how old do you think I am?" "About 35,"he replied. "I'm actually 47," the woman said, feeling really happy.

After that she went into McDonald's for lunch and asked the order taker the same question. He replied, "Oh, you look about 29." "I am actually 47!" she said, feeling really good.

While standing at the bus stop she asked an old man the same question. He replied, "I am 85 years old and my eyesight is going. But when I was young there was a sure way of telling a woman's age. If I put my hand up your skirt I will be able to tell your exact age." There was no one around, so the woman said, "What the hell?" and let him slip his hand up her skirt. After feeling around for a while, the old man said, "OK, You are 47." Stunned, the woman said, "That was brilliant! How did you do that?" The old man replied, "I was behind you in line at McDonald's."

[wyntrout]

Grandma is eighty-eight years old and still drives her own car. She writes:
Dear Grand-daughter,

The other day I went up to our local Christian book store and saw a ‘Honk if you love Jesus’ bumper sticker.
I was feeling particularly sassy that day because I had just come from a thrilling choir performance, followed by a thunderous prayer meeting.
So, I bought the sticker and put it on my bumper.
Boy, am I glad I did; what an uplifting experience that followed.
I was stopped at a red light at a busy intersection, just lost in thought about the Lord and how good he is, and I didn’t notice that the light had changed.
It is a good thing someone else loves Jesus because if he hadn’t honked, I’d never have noticed.
I found that lots of people love Jesus!
While I was sitting there, the guy behind started honking like crazy, and then he leaned out of his window and screamed, ‘For the love of God!’

‘Go! Go! Go! Jesus Christ, GO!’ What an exuberant cheerleader he was for Jesus! Everyone started honking!

I just leaned out my window and started waving and smiling at all those loving people.
I even honked my horn a few times to share in the love!
There must have been a man from Florida back there because I heard him yelling something about a sunny beach.
I saw another guy waving in a funny way with only his middle finger stuck up in the air.
I asked my young teenage grandson in the back seat what that meant.
He said it was probably a Hawaiian good luck sign or something.
Well, I have never met anyone from Hawaii , so I leaned out the window and gave him the good luck sign right back.
My grandson burst out laughing.
Why even he was enjoying this religious experience!!
A couple of the people were so caught up in the joy of the moment that they got out of their cars and started walking towards me.
I bet they wanted to pray or ask what church I attended, but this is when I noticed the light had changed.
So, grinning, I waved at all my brothers and sisters, and drove on through the intersection.
I noticed that I was the only car that got through the intersection before the light changed again and felt kind of sad that I had to leave them after all the love we had shared.
So I slowed the car down, leaned out the window and gave them all the Hawaiian good luck sign one last time as I drove away. Praise the Lord for such wonderful folks!!
Will write again soon,
Love, Grandma

[OldLincoln]

As the bus stopped and it was her turn to get on, she became
Aware that her skirt was too tight to allow her leg to
Come up to the height of the first step of the bus..

Slightly embarrassed and with a quick smile to the bus
Driver, she reached behind her to unzip her skirt a little,
Thinking that this would give her enough slack to raise her leg
She tried to take the step, only to discover that she couldn't.

So, a little more embarrassed, she once again reached
Behind her to unzip her skirt a little more, and for the
Second time attempted the step.

Once again, much to her chagrin, she could not raise her leg.
With a little smile to the driver, she again reached behind
To unzip a little more and again was unable to take the step.

About this time, a large Texan who was standing
Behind her picked her up easily by the waist
And placed her gently on the step of the bus.

She went ballistic and turned to the
Would-be Samaritan
And yelled,
'How dare you touch my body!
I don't even know who you are!'

The Texan smiled and drawled,
'Well, ma'am, normally I would agree with you,
But after you unzipped my fly three times,
I kinda figured we was friends.

[wyntrout]

Good one! :D

[jocko]

Da ya know how they separate the men from the boys in Greece? With a crowbar.

that first started in Ohio, Kuggsy. I know most Ohio people are either qu7eers or farmers. and you always toldmew you hated farming./.Just sayin

[jocko]

Wife is always talking about getting someone to fix some things around the house. I think I'm about ready to go for it ..:o
http://i.imgur.com/QHGAK8M.jpg

I gotta tellyouy Grotman, those are the nicest5 cheeks I have seen in Years. Just sayin

[yqtszhj]

Ass is too fat....
But I bet she is well balanced in the front to counter it, but you wouldn't like that either, huh? :rolleyes:

[kenemoore]

She could eat crackers in my bed anytime.

[Bawanna]

Man I'd like to have that cordless sawzall. fella could cut the world in half with a tool like that and a few spare batteries.

[GROTMAN]

When a cartoon becomes reality...:rolleyes:






And he suffered the same fate as Wile E. Coyote did every time he tried to drive through those damn things.

According to Mirror, a man attempting to drive his Fiat through what he was thought was a tunnel instead crashed his car because it turned out to be a painting of a tunnel on a wall.
http://o.aolcdn.com/hss/storage/midas/8b80668008dfb920b7ad905e2f50e2f/203554109/guy+drives+through+painted+tunnel.jpg

[muggsy]

Yesterday I went out to the golf course just to check on course conditions. They have a new girl running the snack bar who is drop dead gorgeous with a body that just won't quit. So I asked her, "IF I was forty years younger would she make mad passionate love to me all night?" Humoring me she responded, "Why of course darling." So then I said, "How 'bout if I just lie about my age?" I've been banned from the course for a month.

[getsome]

Looks like Obummer picked up a few extra passengers on Air Force One when leaving that wonderful communist paradise called Cuba.

http://www.theonion.com/graphic/hundreds-cuban-refugees-clinging-air-force-one-fli-52616

[jocko]

Man I'd like to have that cordless sawzall. fella could cut the world in half with a tool like that and a few spare batteries.

what sawsall?? Just sayin

[jocko]

Yesterday I went out to the golf course just to check on course conditions. They have a new girl running the snack bar who is drop dead gorgeous with a body that just won't quit. So I asked her, "IF I was forty years younger would she make mad passionate love to me all night?" Humoring me she responded, "Why of course darling." So then I said, "How 'bout if I just lie about my age?" I've been banned from the course for a month.

seems like ur good at getting banned, Kust sayin. You should follow ol jocko's example and clean up ur fokkin act.

[GROTMAN]

[QUOTE=getsome;365296]Looks like Obummer picked up a few extra passengers on Air Force One when leaving that wonderful communist paradise called Cuba.



Before take off...

BHO prepares to leave Cuba

http://i.imgur.com/PcAJdOG.jpg

[GROTMAN]

I gotta tellyouy Grotman, those are the nicest5 cheeks I have seen in Years. Just sayin

your just looking in the wrong kind of "pastures." :D BTW.. welcome back.

[wyntrout]

*********************************** A small boy asks his Dad, “Daddy, what is politics?” Dad says, “Well son, let me try to explain it this way: I’m the breadwinner of the family, so let’s call me Capitalism. Your mom, she’s the administrator of the money, so we’ll call her the Government. We’re here to take care of your needs, so we’ll call you the People. The nanny, we’ll consider her the Working Class. And your baby brother, we’ll call him the Future. Now, think about that and see if that makes sense.” So the little boy goes off to bed thinking about what Dad has said. Later that night, he hears his baby brother crying, so he gets up to check on him. He finds that the baby has severely soiled his diaper. The little boy goes to his parents’ room and finds his mother sound asleep. Not wanting to wake her, he goes to the nanny’s room. Finding the door locked, he peeks in the keyhole and sees his father having “relations” with the nanny. He gives up and goes back to bed. The next morning, the little boy says to his father, “Dad, I think I understand the concept of politics now.” The father says, “Good, son, tell me in your own words what you think politics is all about.” The little boy replies, “Well, while Capitalism is screwing the Working Class, the Government is sound asleep, the People are being ignored and the Future is in Deep Sh*t.”

[wyntrout]

http://usherald.wpengine.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/09/110.png (http://usherald.wpengine.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/09/110.png)
http://usherald.wpengine.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/09/211.png (http://usherald.wpengine.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/09/211.png)
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http://usherald.wpengine.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/09/59.png (http://usherald.wpengine.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/09/59.png)
http://usherald.wpengine.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/09/66.png (http://usherald.wpengine.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/09/66.png)

[wyntrout]

http://2v7fdhblamx236owi3dpih4l.wpengine.netdna-cdn.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/01/jjj1.jpg (http://2v7fdhblamx236owi3dpih4l.wpengine.netdna-cdn.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/01/jjj1.jpg)
http://2v7fdhblamx236owi3dpih4l.wpengine.netdna-cdn.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/01/jjj2.jpg (http://2v7fdhblamx236owi3dpih4l.wpengine.netdna-cdn.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/01/jjj2.jpg)
http://2v7fdhblamx236owi3dpih4l.wpengine.netdna-cdn.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/01/jjj3.jpg (http://2v7fdhblamx236owi3dpih4l.wpengine.netdna-cdn.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/01/jjj3.jpg)
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[wyntrout]

Bill Clinton and the Pope both died on the same day. Due to a minor clerical error, the Pope went to Hell, while Clinton went to Heaven. When the Pope arrived in Hell, everyone realized the mistake. Due to an issue with the union, they couldn’t swap the two until the next day, and the Pope had to spend the night in Hell, while Clinton spent the night in Heaven. The next day the paperwork got worked out. On his way up to Heaven, the Pope ran into Clinton. Clinton asked the Pope, “How was your night in Hell?” “Very educational,” responded the Pope. “I’ve learned a lot from the experience, but now I’m glad I’m going to Heaven. I’ve been waiting all my life to meet the VIRGIN Mary.” “Ooh, sorry” said Clinton, “You should have been there yesterday.”

[wyntrout]

Woman Has The Most Awkward Gynecologist Visit Ever. She Will Never Forget This.


I was due for an appointment with the gynecologist later in the week. Early one morning, I received a call from the doctor’s office to tell me that I had been rescheduled for that morning at 9:30 am. I had only just packed everyone off to work and school, and it was already around 8:45am.



The trip to his office took about 35 minutes, so I didn’t have any time to spare. As most women do, I like to take a little extra effort over hygiene when making such visits, but this time I wasn’t going to be able to make the full effort. So, I rushed upstairs, threw off my pajamas, wet the washcloth that was sitting next to the sink, and gave myself a quick wash in that area to make sure I was at least presentable. I threw the washcloth in the clothes basket, donned some clothes, hopped in the car and raced to my appointment.



I was in the waiting room for only a few minutes when I was called in. Knowing the procedure, as I’m sure you do, I hopped up on the table, looked over at the other side of the room and pretended that I was in Paris or some other place a million miles away.



I was a little surprised when the doctor said, “My, we have made an extra effort this morning, haven’t we?” I didn’t respond.



After the appointment, I heaved a sigh of relief and went home. The rest of the day was normal… Some shopping, cleaning, and cooking. After school when my 6 year old daughter was playing, she called out from the bathroom, “Mommy, where’s my washcloth?”



I told her to get another one from the cupboard.



She replied, “No, I need the one that was here by the sink, it had all my glitter and sparkles saved inside it.”



Never going back to that doctor again……….. Never.

[wyntrout]

http://2v7fdhblamx236owi3dpih4l.wpengine.netdna-cdn.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/03/222.jpg (http://2v7fdhblamx236owi3dpih4l.wpengine.netdna-cdn.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/03/222.jpg)
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http://2v7fdhblamx236owi3dpih4l.wpengine.netdna-cdn.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/03/555.jpg (http://2v7fdhblamx236owi3dpih4l.wpengine.netdna-cdn.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/03/555.jpg)
http://2v7fdhblamx236owi3dpih4l.wpengine.netdna-cdn.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/03/666.jpg (http://2v7fdhblamx236owi3dpih4l.wpengine.netdna-cdn.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/03/666.jpg)
http://2v7fdhblamx236owi3dpih4l.wpengine.netdna-cdn.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/03/777.jpg (http://2v7fdhblamx236owi3dpih4l.wpengine.netdna-cdn.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/03/777.jpg)
http://2v7fdhblamx236owi3dpih4l.wpengine.netdna-cdn.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/03/888.jpg (http://2v7fdhblamx236owi3dpih4l.wpengine.netdna-cdn.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/03/888.jpg)
http://2v7fdhblamx236owi3dpih4l.wpengine.netdna-cdn.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/03/999.jpg (http://2v7fdhblamx236owi3dpih4l.wpengine.netdna-cdn.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/03/999.jpg)
And with all the B.S. they are packed with, the ground should become plenty fertile.

[wyntrout]

Not my wife! :D


https://scontent-atl3-1.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-xla1/v/t1.0-9/12670490_986980108006336_7232403308013580682_n.jpg ?oh=d8d21003a6b08af991a0df1664898e4a&oe=578D4433

[wyntrout]

https://scontent-atl3-1.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-xfa1/v/t1.0-9/12418080_986733101364370_5646320241527005673_n.jpg ?oh=1c6b6dedd63a6cf7c076410b500e2f9a&oe=57975999

[wyntrout]

https://scontent-atl3-1.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-xap1/v/t1.0-9/12308612_986663378038009_1257611656457915610_n.jpg ?oh=b3a1f8de811d7d4057ec323f8027f5c8&oe=57902E97

[wyntrout]

https://scontent-atl3-1.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-xpf1/v/t1.0-9/12799416_985238488180498_6224323004876591874_n.jpg ?oh=87f224dc5b5f04df000e2b8cdc228586&oe=577E50B4

[wyntrout]

https://scontent-atl3-1.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-xal1/v/l/t1.0-9/10649921_983876611650019_45205550522804572_n.jpg?o h=8280e7508e5ed90e69655b718473fe80&oe=578E029B

[wyntrout]

https://scontent-atl3-1.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-xap1/v/t1.0-9/943845_983477558356591_6902219987601925691_n.jpg?o h=e43b9d565a1feb4883ed93cfd490702f&oe=578F4CDE

https://scontent-atl3-1.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-xaf1/v/t1.0-9/1917514_982959105075103_2762958912760938120_n.jpg? oh=8e44a51a67863133b6d0189d68819c0a&oe=57854941

https://scontent-atl3-1.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-xlf1/v/t1.0-9/10366061_982817181755962_7655070614406377321_n.jpg ?oh=68080c231e546daeb5d8d492184bab59&oe=574B1900

[wyntrout]

https://scontent-atl3-1.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-xat1/v/t1.0-9/10343661_981629505208063_5570498975897159470_n.jpg ?oh=4812809ef49d020822a5e3f10ac1995d&oe=57784E2A

[Armybrat]

I don't know whether to laugh or cry...

http://uploads.tapatalk-cdn.com/20160329/2693e33f2aaf78299bc85e1c40d43f4d.jpg

[Bawanna]

Now that's funny! Dude has the magazine in backwards. Ha, ha, ha..........................

Probably pant around his knees too.

[Bills1873]

Sharp as a tack to catch that Bawanna!

[GROTMAN]

Being its a revolver don't thin the magazine can go in any which way..:rolleyes:

[GROTMAN]

Blonde gets pulled over for speeding, and as the cop comes up to the car he adjusts his zipper. The blonde looks out and exclaims "Oh crap..not another breathalyzer test!"

[berettabone]

Now that's funny! Dude has the magazine in backwards. Ha, ha, ha..........................

Probably pant around his knees too.
It doesn't matter, as long as he puts it to his head and pulls the trigger........................................... ........

[wyntrout]

http://2v7fdhblamx236owi3dpih4l.wpengine.netdna-cdn.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/03/bg1.jpg (http://2v7fdhblamx236owi3dpih4l.wpengine.netdna-cdn.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/03/bg1.jpg)
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