April Humor

[wyntrout]

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[Harrylee]

http://www.kahrtalk.com/attachment.php?attachmentid=13693&stc=1

[GROTMAN]

May have been posted before but for those who haven't seen it..:)


Many years ago during my early married days, I accidentally overturned my golf cart on the course one day.

Elizabeth, a very very attractive and keen golfer,who lived in a villa on the golf course, heard the noise and called out, "Are you okay, what's your name?"

"It's John, and I'm okay, thanks," I replied as I pulled myself out of the twisted cart.

"John,” she said (loose breasts undulating beneath her thin white terry robe), "forget your troubles. Come here to my place, have a drink, rest a while and I'll help you get the cart up later."

"That's mighty nice of you," I answered, "but I don't think my wife would like it."
"Oh, come on now," Elizabeth insisted.

She was so very pretty, very very sexy, and very persuasive... I was weak. "Well okay," I finally agreed and thought to myself, "but my wife won't like it."

After a few restorative Scotch and waters, I thanked Elizabeth. "I feel a lot better now, but I know my wife is going to be really upset by now, so I best go."

"Don't be silly!" Elizabeth said with a smile, letting her robe fall open. "She won't know anything about this. By the way, where is she?"

"Still under the cart, I guess," I replied.

[b4uqzme]

"undulating"...that's gotta be the word of the day. ;)

[Harrylee]

http://www.kahrtalk.com/attachment.php?attachmentid=13694&stc=1

[Bawanna]

"undulating"...that's gotta be the word of the day. ;)

Oh yeah, Undulating, word of the day for shore.

[b4uqzme]

^^^ creates a nice visual don't it?

[wyntrout]

Man, that made me laugh! Wifey wouldn't unnerstand. :D

[Armybrat]

Robin Williams said it best..."God gave man a brain and a "Johnson",... but only enough blood to run one at a time"

[340pd]

https://scontent.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-xft1/v/t1.0-9/10421247_349856418538592_347128226486581379_n.jpg? oh=c43bb3d16e088c9a640dd4ee7b42cf18&oe=57826D4D

[wyntrout]

This is kind of a WTF, but thought I would share it from Facebook. :D

https://scontent-atl3-1.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-xtf1/v/t1.0-9/12987097_1719570191616889_1499591062223202730_n.jp g?oh=0e00a7c92600d293e5414bc69a003981&oe=57BF0402

[berettabone]

With the visual, I'm having a hard time getting a gender from the hose holder. It's either Nick Adams with a wig that is just like his mothers real hair, or it's one of the scariest females I've ever seen.:o

[wyntrout]

Yeah... why I said "WTF?" Strange.

[Bawanna]

Isn't that the seamstress in Hannibal?

[Bawanna]

Cruz picks Carly.....hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha hahahahahaha........

[getsome]

An old grizzled wrinkled face cowboy goes into a barber shop asking for a shave...He tells the barber that since his face had gotten so wrinkled he couldn't seem to get a real close shave anymore and could he do something....The barber says sure I got this here ball you can put in your mouth and with your tongue you can push it against your cheek which will smooth out the wrinkles and I can give you a good smooth shave which he did.....When the barber got finished the cowboy felt his face and said sir that's the best shave I ever had and that ball thing worked great but what would have happened if I had swallowed the thing?....The barber said oh that's no problem, you could have just brought it back in a couple days like everybody else does...:2eek:

[berettabone]

Cruz picks Carly.....hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha hahahahahaha........

Probably a smart move on his part.........................if he just didn't look like such a puppet:)

[CJB]

And now for something completely different.....

Zollymoggle's Curry


~ Act I ~
Zollymoggle Plots Revenge

Zollymoggle traveled with haste
For a sample of Curry to taste
Before He was through
Empty bowls numbered Two
(Serving Three was put on a Plate)


~ Act II ~
A Matter of Delicate Inquiry

Asked He of the Maker of Curry
(Quite a vegetableistic slurry)
Will it chance an eruption
Of mild gastric disruption?
Said They, "It may, but no worries!"


~ Act III ~
The Frank Realization

Currymaker's guest came from Crewe
To sample the Punjab stew
Cried He, "Sweet Jesus!
There's sure to be breezes
Or odd musical note, or two!"


~ Act IV ~
Zollymoggle's Revenge, Reprise

Zollymoggle's wife retired at two
Head on the the pillow when Her day was through
But covers up-crept
While soundly She slept
'Til She wakened when His whistle blew

~ Act V ~
For Curry, Some Just Desserts

With Zollymoggle putting on airs
To the kitchen went She (down the stairs)
Like mountain to hillock
She beat the poor pillock
With skillets and other housewares

(the above provided by Sir Banderington Snatchwort r'Everb some years back)

[wyntrout]

This is presented as a public service announcement:

https://scontent-mia1-1.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-xtp1/v/t1.0-9/12806038_1064096296961728_1745692407541375400_n.jp g?oh=8eb61a5b504694d9d6355696e28ac7f1&oe=57ADD4C6


Wynn :D

[b4uqzme]

Ever notice when you combine "the" with "IRS" it spells "theirs"?

[berettabone]

It is that time of season..................................deer ticks especially.