View Full Version : July jovialities
340pd
07-03-2017, 12:37 PM
An oldie but also a test of postimage
https://s5.postimg.org/3psu89t53/BOZO_zpsxr7gh7ab.jpg
Ikeo74
07-03-2017, 01:17 PM
That would ruin anyone's erection, including Bill's. That is why he had Monica, to overcome that problem.
CPTKILLER
07-03-2017, 01:39 PM
http://i2.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/masonry/001/066/649/9b4.gif
AIRret
07-03-2017, 04:52 PM
You folks are GREAT!!!!!…..Thanks for the laugh!
An oldie but also a test of postimage
https://s5.postimg.org/3psu89t53/BOZO_zpsxr7gh7ab.jpg
Boobs are too big.
Bawanna
07-03-2017, 06:22 PM
Threw up a little bit in my mouth. Personally I don't think it has boobs, I think it's a cross, maybe tranny.
AIRret
07-03-2017, 06:30 PM
Threw up a little bit in my mouth. Personally I don't think it has boobs, I think it's a cross, maybe tranny.
Yup!!!
Planedude
07-03-2017, 09:30 PM
...And yet she still believes we didn't vote for her because of the Russians???
340pd
07-05-2017, 06:50 AM
"I thought my vasectomy would keep my wife from getting pregnant
But apparently it just changes the color of the baby."
jeepster09
07-05-2017, 07:50 AM
Arthur Davidson meets......
An inventor of the Harley-Davidson motorcycle, Arthur Davidson, died and went to heaven.
At the pearly gates, St. Peter told Arthur, "Since you've been such a good man and your motorcycles have changed the world, your reward is, you can hang out with anyone you want in Heaven."
Arthur thought about this for a minute and then said, "I want to hang out with God."
St. Peter took Arthur to the Throne Room and introduced him to God.
God recognized Arthur and commented, "Okay, so you were the one who invented the Harley Davidson motorcycle?"
Arthur said, "Yep, that's me."
God said, "Well, what's the big deal in inventing something that's pretty unstable, makes noise and pollution, and can't run without a road?"
Arthur was apparently embarrassed, but finally he said, "Excuse me, but aren't you the inventor of the woman?"
God said, "Yes."
"Well," said Arthur, "professional to professional, you have some major design flaws in your invention too:
1. There's too much inconsistency in the front-end protrusions;
2. It chatters constantly at high speeds;
3. Most of the rear ends are too soft, and wobble too much;
4. The intake is placed way too close to the exhaust;
5. And the maintenance costs are enormous!"
"Hmmmmm, you have some good points there," replied God, "hold on."
God went to His Celestial supercomputer, typed in some key words and waited for the results. The computer printed out a slip of paper and God read it.
"Well, it may be true that my invention is flawed," God said to Arthur, "but according to these statistics, more men are riding my invention than yours."
wyntrout
07-05-2017, 01:59 PM
http://www.kahrtalk.com/attachment.php?attachmentid=7990&stc=1&d=1363707220
jeepster09
07-16-2017, 08:25 AM
Bawanna and Jocko
Bawanna and Jocko, two friends, met in the park every day to feed the pigeons, watch the squirrels and discuss world problems.
One day Jocko didn't show up. Bawanna didn't think much about it and figured maybe he had a cold or something...
But after Jocko hadn't shown up for a week or so, Bawanna really got worried.
However, since the only time they ever got together was at the park, Bawanna didn't know where Jocko lived, so he was unable to find out what had happened to him.
A month had passed, and Bawanna figured he had seen the last of Jocko, but one day, Bawanna approached the park and--lo and behold!--there sat Jocko!
Bawanna was very excited and happy to see him and told him so.
Then he said, 'For crying out loud Jocko, what in the world happened to you?'
Jocko replied, 'I have been in jail.'
'Jail!' cried Bawanna. What in the world for?'
'Well,' Jocko said, 'you know Sue, that cute little blonde waitress at Panera's coffee shop where I sometimes go?'
'Yeah,' said Bawanna, 'I know her, she's got a great rack. What about her?
˜Well, the little gold-digging witch figured I was rich and she filed rape charges against me; and, at 75 years old, I was so proud that when I got into court, I pleaded 'guilty'.
'The judge gave me 30 days for perjury.'
wyntrout
07-16-2017, 10:44 AM
http://www.kahrtalk.com/attachment.php?attachmentid=7990&stc=1&d=1363707220
jeepster09
07-18-2017, 08:09 AM
Plane talk
A mother and her young son were flying Southwest Airlines from Kansas City to Chicago . The little boy (who had been looking out the window) turned to his mother and asked, "If big dogs have baby dogs and big cats have baby cats, why don't big planes have baby planes?"
The mother (who couldn't think of an answer) told her son to ask the flight attendant.
So the boy went down the aisle and asked the flight attendant, "If big dogs have baby dogs and big cats have baby cats, why don't big planes have baby planes?" The busy flight attendant smiled and said, "Did your Mother tell you to ask me?"
The boy said, "Yes, she did." "Well, then, you go and tell your mother that there are no baby planes because Southwest always pulls out on time. Have your mother explain that to you."
jeepster09
07-23-2017, 09:40 PM
A Marine enters the Catholic Church confessional booth in Hendersonville , NC
He tells the priest, "Bless me, Father, for I have sinned. Last night, I beat the ever-living crap out of a flag burning, cop hating, anti-Trump protester.
The priest says, "My son, please don't waste my time. I am here to forgive your sins, not to discuss your community service." :amflag:
wyntrout
07-24-2017, 09:57 AM
Indeed! :D :amflag:
ct9kahrtoter
07-24-2017, 02:05 PM
A Marine enters the Catholic Church confessional booth in Hendersonville , NC
He tells the priest, "Bless me, Father, for I have sinned. Last night, I beat the ever-living crap out of a flag burning, cop hating, anti-Trump protester.
The priest says, "My son, please don't waste my time. I am here to forgive your sins, not to discuss your community service." :amflag:
LMAO! That's a good one! ;)
kenemoore
07-26-2017, 04:00 AM
Drinking, A drunk gets up from the bar and heads for the bathroom.
A Few minutes later, a loud, blood-curdling scream is heard from the bathroom. Then, nothing. But, after another minute or 2, another loud scream reverberates through the bar. The bartender goes into the bathroom to investigate why the drunk is screaming. “What’s all the screaming about in there?" he yells. “You’re scaring my customers!”
"I'm just sitting here on the toilet minding my own business," slurs the drunk, "and every time I try to flush, something comes up and squeezes the hell out of my nuts." The bartender opens the door, looks in, and says, "You're sitting on the mop bucket."
jeepster09
07-26-2017, 09:22 PM
LOL...now thats funny :roll:
jeepster09
08-06-2017, 08:06 PM
Will i live to be 80?
Here's something to think about.
I recently picked a new primary care doctor. After two visits and exhaustive Lab tests, he said I was doing well' for my age.
A little concerned about that comment, I couldn't resist asking him, "Do you think I'll live to be 80?'
He asked, 'Do you smoke tobacco, or drink beer or wine?'
'Oh no,' I replied. 'I'm not doing drugs, either!'
Then he asked, 'Do you eat rib-eye steaks and barbecued ribs?
'I said, 'No, my former doctor said that all red meat is very unhealthy!'
Do you spend a lot of time in the sun, like playing golf, sailing, hiking, Or bicycling?'
"Yes I do" I said.
He asked, 'Do you gamble, drive fast cars, or have a lot of sex?'
'No,' I said
He looked at me and said,....
'Then, why do you even give a sh!t?.
Bawanna
08-06-2017, 08:42 PM
Ain't that the gospel truth right there.
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