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Barth
04-02-2019, 06:19 PM
Had to start an April thread, right?
I've got three kids and three grandkids.
Two of my children were born in April.

Good Times :D

Planedude
04-02-2019, 07:51 PM
Did y'all get this one from VZ Grips...???

They be some funny guys.

wyntrout
04-02-2019, 09:02 PM
http://link.email-duluthtrading.com/1x1.dyn?0QEGkb1tjXLxmh3DrDMygegWN=0 http://ympxl.com/log.gif?cid=62e1b8ecbd&mid=1717046&subid=5122456Had to delete a bunch to fit this.





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JohnR
04-03-2019, 06:02 AM
https://ci5.googleusercontent.com/proxy/TpMpVUqIyyQb_EqF2KFzsJ_kSV58diua3nSZikERgwGf2Vv9_w swoGt0bTipofZdz-E1YUD6IBUpmNJXO_1hYhktA4I1jRy_QV3gGZSilsJJyt3WEKuB zQjJm68TRncGY8StBogSP9Z5kA=s0-d-e1-ft#https://suite15-cdn.emarsys.net/custloads/765294522/md_539142.png?cacheId=1544116130015
https://ci3.googleusercontent.com/proxy/Bc1HwYhsa9WXdmUPFZNtz3d2BfvyHteI4bKmURuzKaJPQuunJJ GpeP92mAYRnG08lHQHx95kMvWhmjgVgF4mJlLD-HTN_agjMDLd16UORkk1ieIRBsDZRw=s0-d-e1-ft#http://takemeto.ammunitiondepot.com/custloads/765294522/md_605401.png
https://ci5.googleusercontent.com/proxy/83yL3n7cWR1GppO2JZofcsTQgokUucMUX5pWSxaXj5z1YgYSTZ prLWy5t4WE8zJoJNk0Tv1dTUj9yQf08UNqbxacV9T5OtIKdAzm d2rcQsu2D0DKmovOVA=s0-d-e1-ft#http://takemeto.ammunitiondepot.com/custloads/765294522/md_605403.png

wyntrout
04-03-2019, 10:41 AM
https://scontent-mia3-1.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t1.0-9/56317600_2490806780930703_4509091653591498752_n.jp g?_nc_cat=110&_nc_ht=scontent-mia3-1.xx&oh=4baae9145cb3a8c56bbe0b91c59bf575&oe=5D42B800

POGs are People/Personnel Other than Grunts. Yeah, I had to look it up. :)

JohnR
04-03-2019, 06:52 PM
https://youtu.be/9dfWzp7rYR4

wyntrout
04-03-2019, 11:42 PM
https://scontent-atl3-1.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t1.0-9/56555949_2110881835699246_1241058799071002624_n.jp g?_nc_cat=101&_nc_ht=scontent-atl3-1.xx&oh=c4df0aa940e3fbae21ff77be66ddbd69&oe=5D4C95D1

yqtszhj
04-04-2019, 07:04 AM
https://scontent-atl3-1.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t1.0-9/56555949_2110881835699246_1241058799071002624_n.jp g?_nc_cat=101&_nc_ht=scontent-atl3-1.xx&oh=c4df0aa940e3fbae21ff77be66ddbd69&oe=5D4C95D1



Now now that’s funny!!!

Bobshouse
04-04-2019, 08:47 AM
https://youtu.be/9dfWzp7rYR4

Wow, you learn something new everyday!!!

wyntrout
04-04-2019, 01:25 PM
https://assets.amuniversal.com/3d8d97202bb501378ae6005056a9545d

skiflydive
04-04-2019, 03:00 PM
Great big guy standing with the group waiting to punch out at the time clock says VERY loudly: "When I get home I'm going to rip my wife's panties right off!!!"

The rest of the gang look at him aghast.

He follows LOUDLY with "Yeah...they're cuttin' me right here at the top of my thigh."

ltxi
04-04-2019, 06:42 PM
Now now that’s funny!!!

Yep...!

ltxi
04-04-2019, 06:45 PM
Great big guy standing with the group waiting to punch out at the time clock says VERY loudly: "When I get home I'm going to rip my wife's panties right off!!!"

The rest of the gang look at him aghast.

He follows LOUDLY with "Yeah...they're cuttin' me right here at the top of my thigh."

Dat good!

340pd
04-05-2019, 08:17 AM
A Morality Test
This test only has one question, but it's a very important one. By giving an honest answer you will discover where you stand morally.

The test features an unlikely and completely fictional situation in which you will have to make a decision. Only you will know the results, so remember that your answer
needs to be honest.





THE SITUATION:


You are in Miami with chaos all around you caused by a hurricane. There is a flood of biblical proportions.

You are a photojournalist working for a major newspaper and you're caught in the middle of this epic disaster.

The situation is nearly hopeless. You're trying to shoot career-making photos. There are houses and people swirling around you, some disappearing under the water.

Nature is unleashing all of its destructive fury.



THE TEST:

Suddenly you see a woman in the water. She is fighting for her life trying not to be taken down with the debris.

You move closer. Somehow the woman looks like...Good Heavens it's Nancy Pelosi.

At the same time you notice that the raging waters are about to take her under forever.



YOU HAVE TWO OPTIONS:

You can save the life of Nancy Pelosi OR you can shoot a dramatic Pulitzer Prize winning photo, documenting the last minutes of one of the world's most powerful women hell-bent
on the destruction of the USA.



THE QUESTION:

Here's the question and please give an honest answer:

Would you:

A) select high contrast color film, or...

B) go with the classic simplicity of black and white

wyntrout
04-05-2019, 10:01 AM
:eek:
https://scontent-mia3-1.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t1.0-9/56164174_10157123303194487_3920139719052099584_n.j pg?_nc_cat=107&_nc_ht=scontent-mia3-1.xx&oh=687fa5b39dd3efb004b8d3559a1744fa&oe=5D07C711

wyntrout
04-10-2019, 12:45 PM
https://scontent-mia3-1.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t1.0-9/56958762_793288394363572_3836248248868143104_n.jpg ?_nc_cat=111&_nc_ht=scontent-mia3-1.xx&oh=f638469494237839abd3a55b1aeb2e9c&oe=5D2DDD0B

wyntrout
04-12-2019, 11:07 PM
https://scontent-mia3-1.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t1.0-9/57039861_904383429906244_32793995155341312_n.png?_ nc_cat=1&_nc_ht=scontent-mia3-1.xx&oh=834345388b89dbe0e50258ec419236b5&oe=5D3FCC44

wyntrout
04-12-2019, 11:08 PM
https://scontent-mia3-1.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t1.0-9/56702185_904375386573715_8275721497658523648_n.jpg ?_nc_cat=105&_nc_ht=scontent-mia3-1.xx&oh=2344afbf5b302566d2a60e7678eb07ec&oe=5D37D9D4

wyntrout
04-12-2019, 11:24 PM
https://scontent-mia3-1.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t1.0-9/57374806_2418742781504497_946968202036903936_n.jpg ?_nc_cat=103&_nc_ht=scontent-mia3-1.xx&oh=b8212f3200f80f70d2c3dd0058c9d28a&oe=5D2AA109

wyntrout
04-12-2019, 11:26 PM
https://scontent-mia3-1.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t1.0-9/56911276_411439709416532_5250863949066272768_n.jpg ?_nc_cat=104&_nc_ht=scontent-mia3-1.xx&oh=934a83b00a2558d42054a65642067ffe&oe=5D30E728

Armybrat
04-15-2019, 06:36 PM
http://www.texasguntalk.com/attachments/a561de4c85ab264db054dc7dd306ada5-jpg.169061/

Bobshouse
04-16-2019, 08:50 PM
16015

wyntrout
04-17-2019, 01:01 PM
https://scontent-mia3-1.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t1.0-9/57548368_10156251275021447_3766729929689923584_n.j pg?_nc_cat=107&_nc_ht=scontent-mia3-1.xx&oh=b6ec1953780b4f2e30a7f16bc2a6e7c7&oe=5D3123A7

wyntrout
04-17-2019, 01:40 PM
https://scontent-mia3-1.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t1.0-9/56800721_1111580675708368_8934657858406973440_n.jp g?_nc_cat=1&_nc_ht=scontent-mia3-1.xx&oh=c52fa9e954bf25dafa40d66617899636&oe=5D345257

wyntrout
04-17-2019, 03:24 PM
https://scontent-mia3-1.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t1.0-9/57486317_2222063257860925_5295068890643038208_n.jp g?_nc_cat=109&_nc_ht=scontent-mia3-1.xx&oh=2e0c1eaf603bcf67f34dee1455b0a043&oe=5D48F765

JohnR
04-17-2019, 03:55 PM
^^ Great one!

wyntrout
04-19-2019, 12:55 AM
https://scontent-mia3-1.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t1.0-9/57541719_2476957192336919_7648277026830286848_n.jp g?_nc_cat=1&_nc_ht=scontent-mia3-1.xx&oh=892de4b9e893ddd57f248b06392d0bb5&oe=5D749C4C

TXscooterguy
04-19-2019, 09:50 AM
Husband: "Why don't you tell me when you orgasm?"

Wife: "Because I don't like calling you at work."

jeepster09
04-19-2019, 12:38 PM
As soon as I lay down on the bed, she dimmed the lights and walked over quietly, almost as if gliding across the room. I could barely see a faint smile as she removed my shirt, her hands traveling across my chest, exploring, caressing. She was young, but had an assuring tone to her voice that let me know she knew what she was doing and that she was in charge. Her hands were soft and warm as she moved up and down my chest, knowing exactly where she wanted to go.

When it was over, she smiled. “You were terrific,” she purred.

"I’ll get the results of your echo-cardiogram over to your cardiologist this afternoon, Sir.

AIRret
04-20-2019, 10:58 AM
Chester and Earl were sitting before the roaring fireplace when Chester sent his dog out to his lake to see if there were any ducks. "If there aren’t many ducks out there, I’m not going hunting".



The dog comes back and barks twice. Chester says “Well I’m not going to go out. He only saw two ducks out there."

Earl says “You’re going to take the dog’s barks for the truth?”

"Sure," said Chester. "I trust what he barks."

Earl doesn’t believe it, so he goes to look for himself. When he gets back he says “I don’t believe it. There really are only two ducks out there! Where did you get that dog?”

Chester responded, “Well, I got him from Cooter, who's breeds them, just up the road. If you want one, you can get one from him."

So Earl goes to Cooter and says he wants a dog just like Chester's. Cooter said sure, charged Earl $10 and Earl brought the dog home, tells it to go out and look for ducks.

Minutes later the dog returns shaking its head with a stick in its mouth, and starts humping Earl’s leg.

Earl is mightily pissed as he takes the dog back to Cooter and declared, "This pooch is a fraud. I sent him out to count the ducks and all he did was shake his head with a damn stick between his teeth while humping my leg. I want my $10 back!”

Cooter nodded his head and said, “Earl, you *******, dogs can’t talk. He was trying to tell you there are more ******* ducks out there than you can shake a stick at."

sorry about the spicy language, but the joke wouldn't be the same without it.

jeepster09
04-21-2019, 06:53 AM
It was a hot Saturday evening in the summer of 1958 and Fred had a date with Peggy Sue.

He arrived at her house and rang the doorbell. "Oh, come on in!" Peggy Sue's mother said as she welcomed Fred in.
"So, what are you and Peggy planning to do tonight?" she asked.
"Oh, probably catch a movie, and then maybe grab a bite
to eat at the malt shop, maybe take a walk on the beach..."
"Peggy likes to screw, you know," Mom informed him.
"Is that so?" asked Fred, incredulous.
"Yes," said the mother. "As a matter of fact, she'd screw all night if we let her!"
"Well, thanks for the tip," Fred said as he began thinking about alternate plans for the evening.
"Have fun, kids," the mother said as they left.
Half an hour later, a completely disheveled Peggy Sue burst into the house and slammed the front door behind her.

"The TWIST, Mom!" she angrily yelled at her mother.
"THE DAMN DANCE IS CALLED THE TWIST!!

jeepster09
04-21-2019, 06:55 AM
The Lone Ranger was ambushed and captured by a hostile Indian War Party.

The Indian Chief proclaimed, "So, YOU are the great Lone Ranger"...

"In honor of the Buffalo Hunt, YOU will be sacrificed in three days."

"Before we kill you, I grant you three requests"

"What is your FIRST request?'

The Lone Ranger said, "I'd like to speak to my horse."

The Chief nodded and Silver was brought Before the Lone Ranger who whispered in Silver's ear, and the horse galloped away.

Later that evening, Silver returned with A beautiful blonde woman on his back.

As the Indian Chief watched, The blonde entered the Lone Ranger's tent And spent the night.

The next morning the Indian Chief admitted That he was impressed.

"You have a very fine and loyal horse,"But we will still kill you in two days." "What is your SECOND request?"

The Lone Ranger again asked to speak To his horse.

Silver came to him, And he again whispered in the horse's ear.

As before, Silver took off and disappeared Over the horizon.

Later that evening, to the Chief's surprise, Silver again returned,

This time with a voluptuous brunette, Even more attractive than the blonde.

She entered the Lone Ranger's tent And spent the night.

The following morning the Indian Chief Said: "You are indeed a man of many talents,"

"But we will still kill you tomorrow."

"What is your LAST request?"

The Lone Ranger responded, "I'd like to speak to my horse - alone"

The Chief was curious, but he agreed, And Silver was brought to The Lone Ranger's tent

Once they were alone, The Lone Ranger grabbed Silver by both ears, Looked him square in the eye and said, Listen Very Carefully! FOR...THE...LAST...TIME...

"BRING POSSE!"

wyntrout
04-21-2019, 09:08 AM
https://scontent-mia3-1.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t1.0-9/57586974_2462283597117517_5302836489321709568_n.jp g?_nc_cat=106&_nc_ht=scontent-mia3-1.xx&oh=463633ee193f5c3d256a39d96476c9d7&oe=5D456AE7

skiflydive
04-22-2019, 09:02 AM
https://scontent-ort2-1.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t1.0-9/420765_10151400698142057_1475264089_n.jpg?_nc_cat= 100&_nc_ht=scontent-ort2-1.xx&oh=45c54ea1c8960550df8d576535887e41&oe=5D2DB183

skiflydive
04-22-2019, 02:23 PM
https://scontent-ort2-1.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t1.0-9/57088134_2095000410607871_8030538792735604736_n.jp g?_nc_cat=111&_nc_ht=scontent-ort2-1.xx&oh=68442f415e93e492af73f82cdee9b700&oe=5D443185

wyntrout
04-22-2019, 04:39 PM
That picture of the little critter on the guy's thumb(or finger!) had a few posts about not feeding it after midnight or letting it get wet! I recall something about that in a movie. :D

I found the original photo. I think that there was some Photoshopping! :D

Bobshouse
04-28-2019, 12:30 PM
16045

wyntrout
04-28-2019, 03:24 PM
GARDEN SNAKES CAN BE DANGEROUS...
Snakes also known as Garter Snakes (Thamnophissirtalis) can be dangerous Yes, grass snakes, not rattlesnakes. Here's why.

A couple in Sweetwater, Texas, had a lot of potted plants. During a recent cold spell, the wife was bringing a lot of them indoors to protect them from a possible freeze.

It turned out that a little green garden grass snake was hidden in one of the plants. When it had warmed up, it slithered out and the wife saw it go under the sofa.

She let out a very loud scream.

The husband (who was taking a shower) ran out into the living room naked to see what the problem was. She told him there was a snake under the sofa.

He got down on the floor on his hands and knees to look for it. About that time the family dog came and cold-nosed him on the behind. He thought the snake had bitten him, so he screamed and fell over on the floor.

His wife thought he had had a heart attack, so she covered him up, told him to lie still and called an ambulance.

The attendants rushed in, would not listen to his protests, loaded him on the stretcher, and started carrying him out.

About that time, the snake came out from under the sofa and the Emergency Medical Technician saw it and dropped his end of the stretcher. That's when the man broke his leg and why he is still in the hospital.

The wife still had the problem of the snake in the house, so she called on a neighbor who volunteered to capture the snake. He armed himself with a rolled-up newspaper and began poking under the couch.. Soon he decided it was gone and told the woman, who sat down on the sofa in relief.

But while relaxing, her hand dangled in between the cushions, where she felt the snake wriggling around. She screamed and fainted, the snake rushed back under the sofa.

The neighbor man, seeing her lying there passed out, tried to use CPR to revive her.

The neighbor's wife, who had just returned from shopping at the grocery store, saw her husband's mouth on the woman's mouth and slammed her husband in the back of the head with a bag of canned goods, knocking him out and cutting his scalp to a point where it needed stitches.

The noise woke the woman from her dead faint and she saw her neighbor lying on the floor with his wife bending over him, so she assumed that the snake had bitten him. She went to the kitchen and got a small bottle of whiskey, and began pouring it down the man's throat.

By now, the police had arrived.
Breathe here...

They saw the unconscious man, smelled the whiskey, and assumed that a drunken fight had occurred. They were about to arrest them all, when the women tried to explain how it all happened over a little garden snake!

The police called an ambulance, which took away the neighbor and his sobbing wife.

Now, the little snake again crawled out from under the sofa and one of the policemen drew his gun and fired at it. He missed the snake and hit the leg of the end table. The table fell over, the lamp on it shattered and, as the bulb broke, it started a fire in the drapes.

The other policeman tried to beat out the flames, and fell through the window into the yard on top of the family dog who, startled, jumped out and raced into the street, where an oncoming car swerved to avoid it and smashed into the parked police car.

Meanwhile, neighbors saw the burning drapes and called in the fire department. The firemen had started raising the fire ladder when they were halfway down the street. The rising ladder tore out the overhead wires, put out the power, and disconnected the telephones in a ten-square city block area (but they did get the house fire out).

Time passed! Both men were discharged from the hospital, the house was repaired, the dog came home, the police acquired a new car and all was right with their world.

A while later they were watching TV and the weatherman announced a cold snap for that night. The wife asked her husband if he thought they should bring in their plants for the night.

And that's when he shot her.

wyntrout
04-29-2019, 03:28 PM
https://scontent-mia3-1.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t1.0-9/58577562_10158325977268356_911467668815478784_n.jp g?_nc_cat=108&_nc_ht=scontent-mia3-1.xx&oh=8b337264ef1e857061ce5a90c48c2275&oe=5D66E617

wyntrout
04-29-2019, 03:45 PM
https://scontent-mia3-1.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t1.0-9/58581879_2429855887033743_2789749037354450944_n.jp g?_nc_cat=1&_nc_ht=scontent-mia3-1.xx&oh=b917352a66dd77abe11d743d629da92b&oe=5D6AA486