December continues the Yule Season... Or as the Dems say You'll do what I say, not do

[wyntrout]

December continues the Yule Season... Or as the Dems say You'll do what I say, not do!

[wyntrout]

This isn't really funny, but under the "You'll Season" topic! :-D

[wyntrout]

DNA test.

[dustnchips]

Don't eat yellow snow.

[wyntrout]

For city folks who don't know how bacon cheeseburgers are made!

[Armybrat]

....

[wyntrout]

In 1969 I majored in computer science for a while. In 1970 I took kind of a break and tried to go to school part time In Jackson, MS, and work at a bank up there. I was miffed that after 6 months I was slated for a raise that would just bring me to what my contemporary got hired for. I quit and went back to full-time school in Hattiesburg, MS. I was studying Math and Computer Science and thought that should count for something.
At graduation computer programmers were starting at $500 a month... about what I was making tax free flying in a combat zone as a USAF SSGT... two years earlier. I changed my major to Math and got my degree in that.
Back then we had the use of an IBM 360 and used punchcards to make our program inputs for testing our programming. A portable calculator was the size of an IBM Selectric typewriter and I had no idea what one cost. The Math department had one, but I never got to see how it worked. I can't remember if it was an HP, TI, or IBM, either.
My first calculator was a few years later with red LED's and 4 functions with NO memory function. I know it cost around $100 or so, too!
If we had had home PC's back then, I would have been more interested and kept with the computer science, but our teachers were terrible and at least one was on loan, maybe, from local business and we all struggled with his class in BAS or machine language. I didn't have a clue and we colluded on a lot of things. We got some kind of credit if we got ANY kind of output... printout... from our program projects for grades! That was most disappointing.
Later in the later 70's after I got my first Radio Shack TRS II with 16K memory, I really liked Basic programming and played with that a lot. There wasn't much available for software, besides business oriented stuff. Games were text and your memory... no action shoot'em up stuff with graphics early on. :eek:
I could edit some of the BASIC programs to alter the games... add "features" and extra stuff.
With smart phones, we can do just about anything that a PC can do these days... from any place with a phone signal. :) 5G promises to be 50-100 times faster... can't wait!

[Armybrat]

I have a few smart devices...

[jeepster09]

walked into a bar
A capitalist walked into a bar and sat down between Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez and Bernie Sanders. Just then, the 10PM news came on and the lead story was of a man on a ledge of a skyscraper preparing to commit suicide.
Bernie looked at the capitalist and asked, "Do you think he'll jump?"
The capitalist replied, "I bet he will."
Alexandria and Bernie both shot back, "Well, we bet he won't."
The capitalist placed $10 on the bar and said, "You're on!"
Just as AOC and Bernie placed their money on the bar, the guy did a swan dive off of the building. AOC and Bernie were very upset and bitterly tried handing their money to the capitalist.
With a slight smile, the capitalist said, "I can't take your money, I saw this earlier on the 5 o'clock news and knew he’d jumped."
Alexandria replied, "Well, we did too; but we didn't think he'd do it again."

[JohnR]

In 1969 I majored in computer science for a while. In 1970 I took kind of a break and tried to go to school part time In Jackson, MS, and work at a bank up there. I was miffed that after 6 months I was slated for a raise that would just bring me to what my contemporary got hired for. I quit and went back to full-time school in Hattiesburg, MS. I was studying Math and Computer Science and thought that should count for something.
At graduation computer programmers were starting at $500 a month... about what I was making tax free flying in a combat zone as a USAF SSGT... two years earlier. I changed my major to Math and got my degree in that.
Back then we had the use of an IBM 360 and used punchcards to make our program inputs for testing our programming. A portable calculator was the size of an IBM Selectric typewriter and I had no idea what one cost. The Math department had one, but I never got to see how it worked. I can't remember if it was an HP, TI, or IBM, either.
My first calculator was a few years later with red LED's and 4 functions with NO memory function. I know it cost around $100 or so, too!
If we had had home PC's back then, I would have been more interested and kept with the computer science, but our teachers were terrible and at least one was on loan, maybe, from local business and we all struggled with his class in BAS or machine language. I didn't have a clue and we colluded on a lot of things. We got some kind of credit if we got ANY kind of output... printout... from our program projects for grades! That was most disappointing.
Later in the later 70's after I got my first Radio Shack TRS II with 16K memory, I really liked Basic programming and played with that a lot. There wasn't much available for software, besides business oriented stuff. Games were text and your memory... no action shoot'em up stuff with graphics early on. :eek:
I could edit some of the BASIC programs to alter the games... add "features" and extra stuff.
With smart phones, we can do just about anything that a PC can do these days... from any place with a phone signal. :) 5G promises to be 50-100 times faster... can't wait!
I took a FORTRAN class in 1983 as a college requirement. I didn't like it much, but if I'd stuck with it I probably would have grown to appreciate it. And if anyone had told me I could have made way more money doing that, and if I hadn't been a ******* back then, well...

I still have the Casio (or is it Sharp? I need to dig it up) calculator with green vacuum fluorescent display that my dad bought back in the '70s. It runs on an AC adapter or batteries and still works.

[skiflydive]

In 1969 I majored in computer science for a while. In 1970 I took kind of a break and tried to go to school part time In Jackson, MS, and work at a bank up there. I was miffed that after 6 months I was slated for a raise that would just bring me to what my contemporary got hired for. I quit and went back to full-time school in Hattiesburg, MS. I was studying Math and Computer Science and thought that should count for something.
At graduation computer programmers were starting at $500 a month... about what I was making tax free flying in a combat zone as a USAF SSGT... two years earlier. I changed my major to Math and got my degree in that.
Back then we had the use of an IBM 360 and used punchcards to make our program inputs for testing our programming. A portable calculator was the size of an IBM Selectric typewriter and I had no idea what one cost. The Math department had one, but I never got to see how it worked. I can't remember if it was an HP, TI, or IBM, either.
My first calculator was a few years later with red LED's and 4 functions with NO memory function. I know it cost around $100 or so, too!
If we had had home PC's back then, I would have been more interested and kept with the computer science, but our teachers were terrible and at least one was on loan, maybe, from local business and we all struggled with his class in BAS or machine language. I didn't have a clue and we colluded on a lot of things. We got some kind of credit if we got ANY kind of output... printout... from our program projects for grades! That was most disappointing.
Later in the later 70's after I got my first Radio Shack TRS II with 16K memory, I really liked Basic programming and played with that a lot. There wasn't much available for software, besides business oriented stuff. Games were text and your memory... no action shoot'em up stuff with graphics early on. :eek:
I could edit some of the BASIC programs to alter the games... add "features" and extra stuff.
With smart phones, we can do just about anything that a PC can do these days... from any place with a phone signal. :) 5G promises to be 50-100 times faster... can't wait!


I started as an accounting major in 1970. My granny bought me a TI-1250 calculator. 4 functions, no memory. In our "lab" at college we had a WANG cpu with 4 terminals that each looked like an adding machine except they had nixie tubes for displays. They could do the 4 functions, to 4 decimal places, and had a memory. In my basement I still have a Timex-Sinclair 1000 "Personal Computer." Including the optional memory module I think it has 16 k of memory and you have to download it's "programs" from a cassette tape player.

[Armybrat]

Beats my TI-1200 in the picture.

[JohnR]

I still use my TI-34 calculator every day, since it was new in 1988. I don't know if they make 'em like they used to.

[jeepster09]

Here is what I use....i'm good till 21.

[tokuno]

I took a FORTRAN class in 1983 as a college requirement. I didn't like it much, but if I'd stuck with it I probably would have grown to appreciate it. And if anyone had told me I could have made way more money doing that, and if I hadn't been a ******* back then, well...


Hey, we're contemporaries. That's when I was struggling through a Fortran class in Berkeley. The classes were taught by mathematicians & physicists (because degree'd computer scientists were unavailable).

The computer (DEC Vax (?)) occupied a room in the basement, with a full-time, dedicated staff. After we wrote our programs, we'd book a slot in the punch room & pound out our program - one card per line, 128 chars max per card. We typed "blind", because the ink ribbons were worn & wouldn't print the accompanying text at the top of the cards, so the cards were practically indistinguishable one from the other.

Woe betide unfortunates who dropped their decks, and there were creative schemes including coloring the card edges to allow quicker re-assembly when it happened.

Lousy typists were disadvantaged, because if you'd made a typo, you wouldn't know till the next day when you retrieved your printout. That happened to me a lot, and as an inveterate procrastinator, that long process didn't bode well for my grade.

But my disillusionment was that all the Fortran 1 sessions shared the same problem assignments, so I'd peek at other students' card decks, and you could tell the good programmers - they had slim little decks for their elegant solutions. I, on the other hand, dreaded lumbering into the processing room under the load of my brute-force-revealing, over sized deck.

It also rankled that I (broke and cheap as Scrooge) had to spend more for cards because of my incompetence :)
Needless to say, I abandoned my plan to study mechanical engineering.

Ironically, I'm coming to the end of a fruitful career spent in information systems.

[tokuno]

Here is what I use....i'm good till 21.
Ah, I get it - he counts his, uh, nose.
I finally understand why my wife's better with numbers than I am - she's equipped to count a digit higher. Large digits. :rolleyes:

[340pd]

An Angel visited a woman and told her she must give up smoking, drinking and unmarried sex if she wants to get into Heaven. The woman said she would try her best.

The Angel visited the woman a week later to see how she was getting on.

"Not bad" said the woman, "I've given up smoking and drinking but when I bent over to look in the freezer, my boyfriend caught sight of my long slender legs in high heels and he pulled up my skirt and made love to me right then and there."

"They don't like that in Heaven", said the Angel...

The woman replied: "They're not crazy about it in Costco either!"

[wyntrout]

Some people have extraordinary capabilities and can count higher. :eek: Base 12??

[wyntrout]

https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/0/03/TI-59.jpg

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/TI-59_/_TI-58

I still have one of these TI-59's with the printer/cradle and thermal paper. It seems to work in the powered cradle on the printer, but I have no battery packs... maybe not even the housings that I repaired with new nicads for years.
I carried this inflight for computing the motion of the bodies for shooting celestial navigation. I had a program on a card that I feed into it. Some might think that shooting the sun or the stars would be easy, but it's a BIT harder at 30,000+ feet and generally 450-600 MPH. There were lots of considerations in B-52's and any other aircraft. We used a perioscopic sextant that had a timer-operated shutter that ran for 2 minutes to account for the Dutch roll through the sky on autopilot with a two-minute period... we had to keep the object body centered for that time and shoot 3 different bodies at night for a good triangle fix. We started shot about 12 minutes before any planned fix and had to shoot the bodies, plot the fix, and make any course correction... could be fun at times.
You might hear the pilot request further clearance from center for a deviation from planned course, depending on how badly the navigation training leg was going! :D

[JohnR]

We had a Vax and tired old punch card machines too.

[getsome]

Ok now "High Tech" has gone way too far....As if 2020 wasn't bad enough already! now this...Every year around this time since 19 freeking 65 I have watched "A Charlie Brown Christmas" on network TV but this year I couldn't find it listed anywhere and today I found out that Apple bought the broadcast rights to all the Charlie Brown seasonal cartoon shows and the only way to watch it is to pay for Apple streaming TV service which stinks, this is sacrilege.......Some things should just be off limits.

[Bawanna]

That does indeed suck. Hell this is worse than the bogus election results. How do we fix this?

[Armybrat]

https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/0/03/TI-59.jpg

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/TI-59_/_TI-58

I still have one of these TI-59's with the printer/cradle and thermal paper. It seems to work in the powered cradle on the printer, but I have no battery packs... maybe not even the housings that I repaired with new nicads for years.
I carried this inflight for computing the motion of the bodies for shooting celestial navigation. I had a program on a card that I feed into it. Some might think that shooting the sun or the stars would be easy, but it's a BIT harder at 30,000+ feet and generally 450-600 MPH. There were lots of considerations in B-52's and any other aircraft. We used a perioscopic sextant that had a timer-operated shutter that ran for 2 minutes to account for the Dutch roll through the sky on autopilot with a two-minute period... we had to keep the object body centered for that time and shoot 3 different bodies at night for a good triangle fix. We started shot about 12 minutes before any planned fix and had to shoot the bodies, plot the fix, and make any course correction... could be fun at times.
You might hear the pilot request further clearance from center for a deviation from planned course, depending on how badly the navigation training leg was going! :D
These might look familiar to you then - last public airshow at Bergstrom AFB in Austin about 26 years ago. Son holding my grandson up for a closer look, and I couldn’t pass up the bombay door shot.
Sorry, but don’t know why they post upside down.

[jeepster09]

I was getting dizzy on my head.....

[mr surveyor]

I just figgered them original pics were taken with one of them Australian cameras


jd

[Armybrat]

Thanks.
Now that I look at it closer, that is my ex-DIL holding my grandson up for a look at the engine.

[Bawanna]

Thanks Jeepster, it ain't easy looking upside down in a chair, guess I should have tried turning the monitor over, didn't think of that.

[Armybrat]

Heheh... I tried turning this iPad upside down, but the danged picture keeps flippin’ around.

[Armybrat]

.....

[jeepster09]

Awesome.....sleepy joe....head of "china flue" party and kamel toes!
The 3 stooges!

[getsome]

They could start a new rock band, "Joe and the Destroyers" except Joe keeps forgetting the lyrics so Commie La La has offered to step in as Front Man at any time should the need arise.....:bump2:

[berettabone]

Anyone remember Kamala the Ugandan Giant??????????????

[jeepster09]

anyone remember kamala the ugandan giant??????????????

awesome!

[Armybrat]

Somebody nailed Christmas 2021 pretty good...

[wyntrout]

Funny!

[wyntrout]

THE CURRENT BANKING CRISIS EXPLAINED BY A FARMER


Young JAMES bought a donkey from a farmer for $100.
The farmer agreed to deliver the donkey the next day.


The next day he drove up and said, 'Sorry son,

but I have some bad news. The donkey's died.'


JAMES replied, 'Well then just give me my money back.'


The farmer said, 'Can't do that. I've already spent it.'


James said, 'OK,then just bring me the dead donkey.'


The farmer asked, 'What are you going to do with him?'


James said, 'I’m going to raffle him off.'


The farmer said, 'You can't raffle a dead donkey!'


James said, 'Sure I can. Watch me. I just won’t tell anybody
he's dead.'


A month later, the farmer met up with James and asked,
'What happened with that dead donkey?'


James said, 'I raffled him off. I sold 500 tickets at $2 each
and made a profit oh $898.'


The farmer said, 'Didn't anyone complain?'


James said, 'Just the guy who won. So I gave him his $2 back.'


James now works as a member of Congress.

[wyntrout]

Message from aliens!

[getsome]

Aliens landed and were watching what happens on this strange and very different planet, they watch a guy walking his dog and when the dog stops and takes a huge crap the human immediately takes out a plastic bag and scoops up the steaming pile of stinking poo, then goes on with their walk as if that was totally normal, the lead alien says to his partner, who do you think the superior being is here? Other alien says, I'm going with the short four legged one because he's leading the way and the two legged one picks up his chit.......

[King Rat]

Speaking of aliens. anyone going to the comedy show in Jan.

https://i.imgur.com/Ci8I9su.jpg

[Bawanna]

Never been East of the big muddy, don't find no reason to go there now.

[getsome]

A mailman on his delivery route rolls up to a mail box with the flag up so he stops and takes out a plain white unsealed envelope with no postage stamp but addressed to "God" so he figures it's from a kid so he takes a peak at the short note inside which says, Dear God, we are going through hard times and have no income so if you could possibly find a way to give us $50.00 so we could buy our kids a little something for Christmas we would so very much appreciate it...

The mailman got a little choked up thinking of his own children and thankful that he still had a job so he pulled out his wallet and while only having two $20 dollar bills for the week he decided to put them in the envelope and wrote on the front, From God and placed it back in the box and went on with his route feeling pretty good about what he had done even though he would have to eat bologna sandwiches for the rest of the week it didn't matter, he had helped someone in need and that was all that mattered.....

Later that week as he pulled up to the same house he saw the flag up on the mail box and thinking it was a thank you note in there it made him glad that he had helped out a family in need and when he opened the box he saw another unsealed letter with no postage and again addressed to "God" so he pulled out the note which read, Dear God, thank you so much for the $40 dollars but we asked for and really needed $50 and since you are God and are always truthful and never lie, we suspect our sorry low down thief of a mailman stole the $10 from the envelope....As he drove away he didn't notice it at the time and through no fault of his own the mail trucks rear bumper accidently caught the mail box post and drug it half a mile or so before it finally dislodged on the side of the highway and was found with the flag still up.....

Moral of this story is that God sees what we do and rewards it in his own way and there are some people who are never satisfied with what they are given and will always expect more and blame others for their problems.....Karma is a very real thing....

[Ralph III]

Scratch. I was attempting a reply to another post.

[Armybrat]

....

[yqtszhj]

....

Ain’t that the truth.

[Armybrat]

...

[getsome]

How to tell you're spending way too much time shopping on the internet....My wife is staying at her sisters house for a week to help her out after some recent surgery and they live in the mountains of north Georgia and don't have internet connections and spotty cell phone coverage at best so my wife has been off the shopping grid for a while so today the doorbell rang and it was Dave the Amazon delivery guy who stopped by just to check on us and see if everything was ok.....

[340pd]

17266

[Armybrat]

Friend of mine from Las Vegas posted this bizarre Covid story on another board:


“ We were informed on Monday that we were in contact with someone that was in contact with someone else that tested positive.

Obviously a little concerned about it, the person that had direct contact with the person that was positive got tested and came back negative. He just sent me a text about his negative test results.

Now for the rest of this bizarre story about the person that tested positive, that our friend was in contact with.
He tested positive when he got tested while being admitted to hospital ER.
Apparently he shot himself in the leg in his sleep. 🤦*♂️ I know, I’m waiting to hear the rest of this story too”

[wyntrout]

:popcorn:

[King Rat]

https://i.imgur.com/OLXSTFM.jpg?1

[wyntrout]

Funny... even my wife chuckled a little.

[getsome]

Why we shouldn't listen to Hollywood actors about anything.....On the set of Mission Impossible 7 actor/director Tom Cruise went totally off the chain nuts because he saw two crew members wearing masks standing closer than 6 feet apart looking at a monitor....Cruise went on an F bomb laced tirade and threatened to fire everybody on the set if they ever did it again....Tom kept saying over and over between F bombs that we have to follow the science which is really rich when you consider that Tom is a Senior member of the Church of Scientolology who believe that Xenu a dictator of the "Galactic Confederacy" brought millions of frozen aliens to this planet 75 million years ago then threw them into a volcano and blew them all up with an atomic bomb....... It's obvious that Hollywood has it all figured out...

[King Rat]

Why we shouldn't listen to Hollywood actors about anything.....On the set of Mission Impossible 7 actor/director Tom Cruise went totally off the chain nuts because he saw two crew members wearing masks standing closer than 6 feet apart looking at a monitor....Cruise went on an F bomb laced tirade and threatened to fire everybody on the set if they ever did it again....Tom kept saying over and over between F bombs that we have to follow the science which is really rich when you consider that Tom is a Senior member of the Church of Scientolology who believe that Xenu a dictator of the "Galactic Confederacy" brought millions of frozen aliens to this planet 75 million years ago then threw them into a volcano and blew them all up with an atomic bomb....... It's obvious that Hollywood has it all figured out...

Scientolology, BLM,Antifa, The View, Hollywood. The world is going stark raving mad. And to think America will be putting into the Office of Presidency and the leader of the greatest Country in the World a man that is in the latter stages of Demetia. A VP that was chosen only for race and gender, one that the own party thinks is a fool and one that hates the demented guy that choose her. It is going to be a very scary ride. America has never looked weaker.

https://i.imgur.com/XF5R7rg.jpg?1

[JohnR]

Someone put the audio of Tom Cruise’s rant to Rudolph the Red nosed Reindeer.

https://mobile.twitter.com/jga41agher/status/1339415816844951553 (https://mobile.twitter.com/jga41agher/status/1339415816844951553)

[berettabone]

The general public should have stopped giving money towards his hack pictures a long time ago. He has to do something to justify his unworthy paychecks, and the public just keeps giving him their money. All I can say is DF's. A scientology misfit along with his buddy John Revolta. Every movie I've ever seen the trailor for, that he was part of reminds me of Vinnie Barbarino. These two hacks don't have to act. They are being their bipolar selfs. Probably still sitting in their rooms pretending just like their childhoods. What the hell is wrong with their significant others???????? Sorry, but I personally won't or wouldn't continue to give my hard earned money away to one of these losers, especially knowing their backrounds and what happens behind the scenes.

[Ralph III]

The general public should have stopped giving money towards his hack pictures a long time ago. He has to do something to justify his unworthy paychecks, and the public just keeps giving him their money. All I can say is DF's. A scientology misfit along with his buddy John Revolta. Every movie I've ever seen the trailor for that he was part of reminds me of Vinnie Barbarino. These two hacks don't have to act. They are being their bipolar selfs. Probably still sitting in their romms pretending just like their childhoods. What the hell is wrong with their significant otrhers???????? Sorry, but I personally won't or wouldn't continue to give my hard earned money away to one of these losers, especially knowing their backrounds and what happens behind the scenes.

They pretty much sum up Trash/Hollywood today.

Long gone are the days of John Wayne, Gary Cooper, Maureen O'Hara, Audrey Hepburn, Errol Flynn, Rock Hudson, William Powell and Myrna Loy, etc, etc, etc. Heck, any four of the Three Stooges are better actors than what we have today with a better script.

Ralph

[Armybrat]

.....

[King Rat]

Went deer hunting today. On the way through a small town, they had a sign, did not get to read it all, will take a Picture next week. But it went something like this. CLOSED! "The devil went down to Georgia, he had a election to steal."

Another store CLOSED! and some bad words to the Chinese. They are red Meat Patriots, American flags fly all the time in these small towns. To them BLM and Antif are just another enemy to our Country. Just nothing more than terrorist. (Which they are). And none of them feel that Biden is a legitimate Potus. Just like the latest polls that say 56 million citizens do not either. One thing to hate him, quite another to feel he is not even Legitimate.

[jeepster09]

Christmas shopping story:
A couple were in a busy shopping center just before Christmas. The wife suddenly noticed that her husband was missing and as they had a lot to do, so she called him on the mobile. The wife said " Where are you, you know we have lots to do."
He said "You remember the jewelers we went into about 10 years ago, and you fell in love with that diamond necklace? I could not afford it at the time and I said that one day I would get it for you?"
Little tears started to flow down her cheek and she got all
choked up…"Yes, I do remember that shop." she replied.
"Well I am in the gun shop next door to that."

[yqtszhj]

Christmas shopping story:
A couple were in a busy shopping center just before Christmas. The wife suddenly noticed that her husband was missing and as they had a lot to do, so she called him on the mobile. The wife said " Where are you, you know we have lots to do."
He said "You remember the jewelers we went into about 10 years ago, and you fell in love with that diamond necklace? I could not afford it at the time and I said that one day I would get it for you?"
Little tears started to flow down her cheek and she got all
choked up…"Yes, I do remember that shop." she replied.
"Well I am in the gun shop next door to that."

That guy is me in so many ways. Just ask my wife and she’ll confirm it.

[Armybrat]

Can’t make this BS up..... but somebody in congress sure can:

[King Rat]

https://i.imgur.com/7UI07Yi.jpg?1

[340pd]

An assistant to Nancy Pelosi told her she had a
fantastic dream last night.
There was a humongous parade in Washington


celebrating Pelosi. Millions lined the parade
route, cheering when Nancy went past. Bands
were playing; children were throwing confetti
into the air; there were balloons everywhere. It
was the biggest celebration Washington had
ever seen.


Nancy was very impressed and said, "That's
really great!
By the way, how did I look in your dream? Was
my hair okay?


Her assistant said, "I couldn't tell, the casket
was closed."

[Bawanna]

I love that, hope the parade is soon.

[Armybrat]

...

[jeepster09]

Dear Santa,

I wood like a kool toy space ranjur for Xmas. Iv ben a good boy all yeer.

YeR FReND,

BiLLy

Dear Billy,

Nice spelling. You're on your way to being a monkey trainer. How about I send you a ****ing book so you
can learn to read and write? I'm giving your older brother the space ranger.

Santa

******************************

Dear Santa,


I have been a good girl all year, and the only thing I ask for is peace and joy in the world for everybody!

Love,

Sarah

Dear Sarah, Quit smoking pot...

Santa

******************************

Dear Santa,

I don't know if you can do this, but for Christmas, I'd like for my mommy and daddy to get back together.
Please see what you Can do.

Love,

Teddy

Dear Teddy,

What..., and ruin that hot affair your dad's still having? He's banging that red head like a screen door in a
hurricane, son! Let me get you some nice LEGOs instead.

Santa

******************************

Dearest Santa,

We don't have a chimney in our house, how do you get into our home?

Love,

Marky


Mark,

First of all, stop calling yourself "Marky," that's why you're getting your a$$ whipped at school. Secondly, you don't live in a house, that's a low-rent Apartment complex you're living in. Thirdly, I get inside your pad just like all the burglars do, through your bedroom window.

Sweet Dreams!

Santa

*****************************

Dear Santa,

I really really want a puppy this year. Please please please PLEASE PLEASE could I have one?

Timmy

Timmy,

That whiney, begging $hit may work with your folks, but that Crap doesn't work up here. You're getting a
sweater vest & underwear again this year.

Santa

****************************

Dear Santa,

I left milk and cookies for you under the tree, and I left carrots for your reindeer outside the backdoor.

Love,

Susan

Dear Susan,

Milk gives me the $hits and carrots make the deer shoot air Biscuits in my face. You really want to be a
Kiss-a$$? Leave me a glass of Southern Comfort instead....

Santa

[Bawanna]

NICE! Some good ones there.

[dustnchips]

https://scontent-msp1-1.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t1.0-9/132042474_3931760790209494_5858627842155407673_n.j pg?_nc_cat=111&cb=846ca55b-ee17756f&ccb=2&_nc_sid=730e14&_nc_ohc=qbRrvIRW70IAX9DwNhZ&_nc_ht=scontent-msp1-1.xx&oh=4c91b94c5be93fd54ad35951bf725780&oe=600B332E

[King Rat]

https://i.imgur.com/GbOE81A.jpg

[dustnchips]

A cartridge in a bare tree.https://scontent-ort2-1.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t1.0-0/p526x296/49054336_2235832629762626_1931182815731253248_o.jp g?_nc_cat=109&ccb=2&_nc_sid=8bfeb9&_nc_ohc=5Hoov5iXB0UAX8tJEE1&_nc_ht=scontent-ort2-1.xx&tp=6&oh=d8494e1c1eeeff5b17ac228228b09218&oe=600D7390

[JohnR]

Doh!

[dustnchips]

https://scontent-ort2-1.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t1.0-9/133022246_3941546299230943_8658207202446091309_o.j pg?_nc_cat=107&ccb=2&_nc_sid=730e14&_nc_ohc=eF1kEMhaFZoAX_0joia&_nc_ht=scontent-ort2-1.xx&oh=528cb76784a36ca34b774d8cae5efdd8&oe=600ED529

[Armybrat]

Harvard egghead psychiatrist can’t spell “forty”.
No wonder those elitists are f’d up. :D

[JohnR]

That threw me, too.

[mr surveyor]

All I could think of was "Gee, Ralphie ... do you know where is at a cat?"

yeah, I did watch the tv when I was a lot younger

jd

[dustnchips]

I doubt this was made up by some Harvard egghead. More likely some prankster just to entertain us.

[Bawanna]

I'm not getting this at all, looked and don't see the post everyone is referencing. I can be slow sometimes.

[Armybrat]

I'm not getting this at all, looked and don't see the post everyone is referencing. I can be slow sometimes.

Dustnchips post #72.

[King Rat]

Read it over an over and waste even more time. My New Year's resolution will to NOT waste as much time as I do on a computer.

[Bobshouse]

Read it over an over and waste even more time. My New Year's resolution will to NOT waste as much time as I do on a computer.

Who said it's wasted time?

[Bawanna]

Dustnchips post #72.

Nothing opens for me on that post. I thought that might be the culprit. Just a little page but nothing opens.

[getsome]

I dated a girl named Page way back in high school, had the same problem with her too......

[JohnR]

I dated a girl named Page way back in high school, had the same problem with her too......
I see what you did there.

[dustnchips]

The part most of you must have skippe in post #72 was the end where they said to go back and read the third word in each line.

[getsome]

Humans may have become obsolete

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=Vv_T_9q43UU

Very cool but a little scary....

[jeepster09]

Vacation After COVID-19
I put a map of the world on a wall, gave my wife a dart, and said to throw it. Then when COVID-19 is over I told her we'll go wherever that dart lands.
So I guess we're going to be spending two weeks behind my bookshelf.......https://static.xx.fbcdn.net/images/emoji.php/v9/t6/1.5/16/1f632.png

[Armybrat]

Vacation After COVID-19
I put a map of the world on a wall, gave my wife a dart, and said to throw it. Then when COVID-19 is over I told her we'll go wherever that dart lands.
So I guess we're going to be spending two weeks behind my bookshelf.......https://static.xx.fbcdn.net/images/emoji.php/v9/t6/1.5/16/1f632.png
My wife busted out laughing when I read her your post.

[wyntrout]

Science!