March misfits

[340pd]

https://www.1911addicts.com/cdn-cgi/image/format=auto,onerror=redirect,width=1920,height=192 0,fit=scale-down/https://www.1911addicts.com/attachments/1646181409386-png.941144/

[jeepster09]

Beep beep......

[jeepster09]

The Gay Ranch Hand

A successful rancher died and left everything to his devoted wife.
She was a very good-looking woman and determined to keep the ranch, but knew very little about ranching, so she decided to place an ad in the newspaper for a ranch hand.


Two cowboys applied for the job. One was gay and the other a drunk.

She thought long and hard about it, and when no one else applied she decided to hire the gay guy, figuring it would be safer to have him around the house than the drunk.

He proved to be a hard worker who put in long hours every day and knew a lot about ranching.

For weeks, the two of them worked, and the ranch was doing very well.

Then one day, the rancher's widow said to the hired hand,

"You have done a really good job, and the ranch looks great. You should go into town and kick up your heels."

The hired hand readily agreed and went into town one Saturday night.

One o'clock came, however, and he didn't return.

Two o'clock and no hired hand.

Finally, he returned around two-thirty, and upon entering the room, he found the rancher's widow sitting by the fireplace with a glass of wine, waiting for him.

She quietly called him over to her and said the following:

"Unbutton my blouse and take it off."

Trembling, he did as she directed.

"Now take off my boots."

He did as she asked, ever so slowly.

"Now take off my socks."

He removed each gently and placed them neatly by her boots.

"Now take off my skirt."

He slowly unbuttoned it, constantly watching her eyes in the firelight.

"Now take off my bra."

Again, with trembling hands, he did as he was told and dropped it to the floor.




Then she looked at him and said.....



"If you ever wear my clothes into town again, you're fired."

[jeepster09]

.....

[Armybrat]

...

[340pd]

https://www.1911addicts.com/cdn-cgi/image/format=auto,onerror=redirect,width=1920,height=192 0,fit=scale-down/https://www.1911addicts.com/attachments/download-jpg.941588/

[Armybrat]

....

[Armybrat]

...

[jeepster09]

A Caring Attorney
One afternoon a lawyer was riding in his limousine when he saw two men along the roadside eating grass. Disturbed, he ordered his driver to stop and he got out to investigate.

He asked one man, "Why are you eating grass ?"

"We don't have any money for food," the poor man replied. "We have to eat grass."

"Well, then, you can come with me to my house and I'll feed you,” the lawyer said.

"But sir, I have a wife and two children with me. They are over there eating grass under that tree."

"Bring them along," the lawyer replied.

Turning to the second poor man he stated, "You may come with us, also."

The other man, in a pitiful voice, then said, "But sir, I also have a wife and six children with me!"

"Bring them all as well," the lawyer answered.

They all entered the car, which was no easy task, even for a car as large as the limousine.

Once under way, one of the poor fellows turned to the lawyer and said, "Sir, you are too kind. Thank you for taking all of us with you."

The lawyer replied, "Glad to do it. You'll really love my place. The grass is almost a foot high.”

Come on . . . did you really think there was such a thing as a heart-warming lawyer story?

Look at Congress -- over 400 Lawyers!!!

[jeepster09]

Chains
Three guys die together in an accident and go to heaven. When they get there, St. Peter says, "We only have one rule here in heaven: Don't step on the ducks!"

So they enter heaven, and sure enough, there are ducks all over the place. It is almost impossible not to step on a duck, and although they try their best to avoid them, the first guy accidentally steps on one.

Along comes St. Peter with the ugliest woman he has ever seen. St. Peter chains them together and says, "Your punishment for stepping on a duck is to spend eternity chained to the ugly woman!"

The next day, the second guy steps accidentally on a duck, and along comes St. Peter, who doesn't miss a thing, and with him is another extremely ugly woman. He chains them together with the same admonishment as for the first guy.

The third guy has observed all this and not wanting to be chained for all eternity to an ugly woman, is very, VERY careful where he steps. He manages to go months without stepping on any ducks, but one day St. Peter comes up to him with the most gorgeous woman he has ever laid eyes on: a very tall, tan, curvaceous, sexy blonde. St. Peter chains them together without saying a word.

The guy remarks, "I wonder what I did to deserve being chained to you for all of eternity?"

She says, "I don't know about you, but I stepped on a duck!"

[dustnchips]

https://scontent-atl3-1.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t39.30808-6/275229492_4937618313011694_8187003290653593500_n.j pg?stp=dst-jpg_p526x296&_nc_cat=103&ccb=1-5&_nc_sid=9267fe&_nc_ohc=lDhhC78mE4sAX9vrAqr&tn=6wkPw99ysL0OhjTM&_nc_ht=scontent-atl3-1.xx&oh=00_AT8bYg6AZ1XyfSuJR3v0sa2XDxyHO9lmQm1mAb7xtHp3 hg&oe=6228507B

[dustnchips]

https://scontent-atl3-1.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t39.30808-6/274868986_10228189045697867_4223141481656503987_n. jpg?stp=dst-jpg_p526x296&_nc_cat=102&ccb=1-5&_nc_sid=8bfeb9&_nc_ohc=tlGnxjm2x3IAX-ri1pU&_nc_ht=scontent-atl3-1.xx&oh=00_AT-3DfITKjx91X2jafi5W60BVysskc-CwsJJALmP-S8_KA&oe=6228EA63

[340pd]

https://www.1911addicts.com/cdn-cgi/image/format=auto,onerror=redirect,width=1920,height=192 0,fit=scale-down/https://www.1911addicts.com/attachments/childhood-jpg.944305/

[340pd]

https://www.1911addicts.com/cdn-cgi/image/format=auto,onerror=redirect,width=1920,height=192 0,fit=scale-down/https://www.1911addicts.com/attachments/1646512417280-png.943954/

[jeepster09]

Hmmm maybe wife don't like her new dish towels? TJ likes 'em.

[GROTMAN]

https://www.ncgunowners.com/xf/attachments/1646053102522-png.10828/

[getsome]

https://www.ncgunowners.com/xf/attachments/1646053102522-png.10828/

Exactly…….My Grand dogs know me as Papa Cheese….

[340pd]

https://www.1911addicts.com/cdn-cgi/image/format=auto,onerror=redirect,width=1920,height=192 0,fit=scale-down/https://www.1911addicts.com/attachments/1646622775425-png.944959/

[340pd]

https://www.1911addicts.com/attachments/aaa-gif.945883/

[getsome]

Those little TV screens on the gas pumps should start showing porn movies so at least you could watch someone else getting screwed at the same time you are……

[Ken L]

Those little TV screens on the gas pumps should start showing porn movies so at least you could watch someone else getting screwed at the same time you are……

Careful what you wish for. They'll probably show you a picture of Kamala Harris laughing as you fill your tank!

[getsome]

In late 1979 Jimmy Carter was still in office after a failed term and disaster in Iran and with the country facing massive inflation, gasoline shortages and unemployment my father who owned a successful gas station decided to hang it up because the price of gasoline went over $1.00 a gallon and his six Tokheim mechanical pumps out front would only go up to 99 9/10 cents and he would either have to sell gas at a loss or replace all six pumps with newer models that would be able to adjust to over $1.00 a gallon which would have cost him a small fortune so along with the economy in the tank and everyone wondering how they could make it any longer he sold the station and I remember very well how much it hurt him and he told me to never go into the business because we can’t trust the government and once gasoline prices go up much more the country will be in serious trouble……..Sounds familiar doesn’t it………….

[mr surveyor]

^LIKE^


jd

[kenemoore]

https://scontent-atl3-2.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t39.30808-6/275014913_145274717961136_8101113721047670959_n.jp g?stp=dst-jpg_p526x296&_nc_cat=109&ccb=1-5&_nc_sid=56b9b4&_nc_ohc=54hYmivYWJEAX_J3Cka&_nc_ht=scontent-atl3-2.xx&oh=00_AT9rjD4PU_LhNWWnxIqVYeBTKY_YJ4x_kwjU8mPAtR5q UA&oe=622D6E2B

[kenemoore]

In late 1979 Jimmy Carter was still in office after a failed term and disaster in Iran and with the country facing massive inflation, gasoline shortages and unemployment my father who owned a successful gas station decided to hang it up because the price of gasoline went over $1.00 a gallon and his six Tokheim mechanical pumps out front would only go up to 99 9/10 cents and he would either have to sell gas at a loss or replace all six pumps with newer models that would be able to adjust to over $1.00 a gallon which would have cost him a small fortune so along with the economy in the tank and everyone wondering how they could make it any longer he sold the station and I remember very well how much it hurt him and he told me to never go into the business because we can’t trust the government and once gasoline prices go up much more the country will be in serious trouble……..Sounds familiar doesn’t it………….

The local station where I grew up, had the same problem with the pumps. Their solution was to set the pump for 1/2 the price and then charge double what the pump read. So $1.10 gas had a pump set for .55, they explained of the customers why the reading was off. Worked for several years, they slowly upgraded from mechanical to digital meters on the pumps.

[jeepster09]

.....

[Armybrat]

...

[340pd]

https://www.1911addicts.com/cdn-cgi/image/format=auto,onerror=redirect,width=1920,height=192 0,fit=scale-down/https://www.1911addicts.com/attachments/1646775119906-png.946116/

https://www.1911addicts.com/cdn-cgi/image/format=auto,onerror=redirect,width=1920,height=192 0,fit=scale-down/https://www.1911addicts.com/attachments/1646775142298-png.946118/

[Armybrat]

Hubbahubba!

[Bawanna]

https://www.1911addicts.com/cdn-cgi/image/format=auto,onerror=redirect,width=1920,height=192 0,fit=scale-down/https://www.1911addicts.com/attachments/1646775119906-png.946116/

https://www.1911addicts.com/cdn-cgi/image/format=auto,onerror=redirect,width=1920,height=192 0,fit=scale-down/https://www.1911addicts.com/attachments/1646775142298-png.946118/

You have to know I be wanting that, both the gun and the grips.

[340pd]

https://www.1911addicts.com/cdn-cgi/image/format=auto,onerror=redirect,width=1920,height=192 0,fit=scale-down/https://www.1911addicts.com/attachments/1646772489724-png.946016/

[dustnchips]

https://scontent-atl3-1.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t39.30808-6/275323910_5619930478024210_7130785424096916743_n.j pg?stp=dst-jpg_p526x296&_nc_cat=110&ccb=1-5&_nc_sid=8bfeb9&_nc_ohc=PsZ3uBras_gAX9885yu&_nc_ht=scontent-atl3-1.xx&oh=00_AT8qh_Kpde16mSqWWAGikwT2KjPf5koIc9cXiIBjzAS6 qQ&oe=622E94DD

[GROTMAN]

https://www.ncgunowners.com/xf/attachments/1646088728812-png.10836/

[340pd]

Any prairie dog hunters out there?

https://www.1911addicts.com/cdn-cgi/image/format=auto,onerror=redirect,width=1920,height=192 0,fit=scale-down/https://www.1911addicts.com/attachments/1646855816564-png.946805/

[jeepster09]

......

[wyntrout]

I remember the Lahti ads in the back of comic books, along with other war surplus pistols and rifles. The 20mm was ONLY $129 and the ammo was $1 each. That was my dream gun. I think it weighed as much as I did then in high school. :amflag:

I graduated HS in '64 and went into the USAF. When I got out in 1968 the GCA of '68 was law. :(

[Bawanna]

Any prairie dog hunters out there?

https://www.1911addicts.com/cdn-cgi/image/format=auto,onerror=redirect,width=1920,height=192 0,fit=scale-down/https://www.1911addicts.com/attachments/1646855816564-png.946805/

That would be wicked cool to have but I'd have to get a taller safe I reckon. Damn I'd love to have that thing.

[getsome]

I bet that would keep the squirrels out of the yard…….

[Bawanna]

I'd sit on the front porch with it in my lap. Gotta keep up my rep in the neighbor hood ya know?

[JohnR]

I bet the Ukrainians would love to have some of those.

[OldLincoln]

That guy looks like holding that monster is easy until you zoom in on his left hand. His smile hides his growl saying "Take the dawn picture!".

[Armybrat]

...

[Armybrat]

....

[340pd]

https://www.1911addicts.com/cdn-cgi/image/format=auto,onerror=redirect,width=1920,height=192 0,fit=scale-down/https://www.1911addicts.com/attachments/1646986497793-png.947870/

[340pd]

https://www.1911addicts.com/cdn-cgi/image/format=auto,onerror=redirect,width=1920,height=192 0,fit=scale-down/https://www.1911addicts.com/attachments/download-png.947685/

[340pd]

https://www.1911addicts.com/cdn-cgi/image/format=auto,onerror=redirect,width=1920,height=192 0,fit=scale-down/https://www.1911addicts.com/attachments/fb_img_1646977692621-jpg.947856/

[Armybrat]

...

[340pd]

https://www.1911addicts.com/cdn-cgi/image/format=auto,onerror=redirect,width=1920,height=192 0,fit=scale-down/https://www.1911addicts.com/attachments/aaaaa-jpg.948002/

[340pd]

https://www.1911addicts.com/cdn-cgi/image/format=auto,onerror=redirect,width=1920,height=192 0,fit=scale-down/https://www.1911addicts.com/attachments/a-jpg.947998/

[jeepster09]

.....

[kenemoore]

https://scontent-atl3-2.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t39.30808-6/275078427_3173234382953257_428459969712763736_n.jp g?_nc_cat=1&ccb=1-5&_nc_sid=2c4854&_nc_ohc=_eawD91Sb8gAX_0Mld_&_nc_ht=scontent-atl3-2.xx&oh=00_AT_OC7DeEY7Y44J682Wa04gvr_hLZO3jWUNeafvXVTKI Cg&oe=6230C5C4

[dustnchips]

https://scontent-mia3-2.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t39.30808-6/275613575_5358748357471022_6704229379306783054_n.j pg?stp=dst-jpg_p526x296&_nc_cat=105&ccb=1-5&_nc_sid=8bfeb9&_nc_ohc=auHTEaJAbg0AX-Ch6W7&tn=6wkPw99ysL0OhjTM&_nc_ht=scontent-mia3-2.xx&oh=00_AT9PUAK9xCYr8y3CL3LEyGIScfd1-IqNXM_W6Nq74ctHqw&oe=62318B78

[GROTMAN]

https://www.ncgunowners.com/xf/attachments/1647104176679-png.10990/

[GROTMAN]

https://www.ncgunowners.com/xf/attachments/1647032965058-png.10979/

[Armybrat]

...

[340pd]

https://www.1911addicts.com/cdn-cgi/image/format=auto,onerror=redirect,width=1920,height=192 0,fit=scale-down/https://www.1911addicts.com/attachments/download-jpg.949291/

[340pd]

https://www.1911addicts.com/cdn-cgi/image/format=auto,onerror=redirect,width=1920,height=192 0,fit=scale-down/https://www.1911addicts.com/attachments/v8-jpg.949110/

[dustnchips]

https://scontent-mia3-2.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t39.30808-6/275503051_5631299720220619_3236652241601097189_n.j pg?stp=dst-jpg_s720x720&_nc_cat=103&ccb=1-5&_nc_sid=8bfeb9&_nc_ohc=ygS_9M0zOukAX9V6dMN&_nc_ht=scontent-mia3-2.xx&oh=00_AT_dmg9JmxZOdX50S-e-_VYVawVBXs2IWGM1qXOTk8EB1Q&oe=6232E062

[Bawanna]

https://scontent-mia3-2.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t39.30808-6/275503051_5631299720220619_3236652241601097189_n.j pg?stp=dst-jpg_s720x720&_nc_cat=103&ccb=1-5&_nc_sid=8bfeb9&_nc_ohc=ygS_9M0zOukAX9V6dMN&_nc_ht=scontent-mia3-2.xx&oh=00_AT_dmg9JmxZOdX50S-e-_VYVawVBXs2IWGM1qXOTk8EB1Q&oe=6232E062

Danged if I ain't gonna try that one.

[JohnR]

Danged if I ain't gonna try that one.
Nice knowin’ ya.

[dustnchips]

https://scontent-mia3-2.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t39.30808-6/275438501_5362800803732444_2583989512747727514_n.j pg?stp=dst-jpg_p526x296&_nc_cat=107&ccb=1-5&_nc_sid=8bfeb9&_nc_ohc=BmmtC1ULgD4AX_0aZ9H&_nc_ht=scontent-mia3-2.xx&oh=00_AT_tQaZmDGPaL7G68oTu4MzI1KLwOqmgO1IgfomzQQtt ow&oe=62341CC4

[dustnchips]

Gas $4.15 per gallon
Full tank $140
Drive off without paying, court date 05/20/22, fine is $80, savings of $60

[getsome]

https://scontent-mia3-2.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t39.30808-6/275503051_5631299720220619_3236652241601097189_n.j pg?stp=dst-jpg_s720x720&_nc_cat=103&ccb=1-5&_nc_sid=8bfeb9&_nc_ohc=ygS_9M0zOukAX9V6dMN&_nc_ht=scontent-mia3-2.xx&oh=00_AT_dmg9JmxZOdX50S-e-_VYVawVBXs2IWGM1qXOTk8EB1Q&oe=6232E062

No sir, can’t do that, she’s bigger than I am and out weighs me by probably a couple hundred pounds so I believe I’ll pass thank you……….

[wyntrout]

https://scontent-hou1-1.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t39.30808-6/275561583_3193234110888160_763691838102816662_n.jp g?stp=dst-jpg_p843x403&_nc_cat=107&ccb=1-5&_nc_sid=8bfeb9&_nc_ohc=chBY5AFq1wEAX_LaKtd&_nc_ht=scontent-hou1-1.xx&oh=00_AT8AqYwrn5EVDeE82GkwQB7PprvjhMkVGqkkM7q7YuL6 WQ&oe=6233F5FF

[Armybrat]

Hopefully, nobody is too offended by this, but here goes...

Somebody on the Texas sports board started a thread about posting the worst places where they had taken a dump. There were several of the usual portapotty & 3rd world hole in the floor replies (been there, done those a’plenty myself).
This was my contribution:

The old US Customs building basement restroom - Laredo, Texas - Summer of 1962.
Leaving from Monterrey after a breakfast that included “fresh” squeezed OJ & pan dulce, and riding the chicken bus to Laredo, I felt a lot of gut-rumblin’ going on near the end of the four hour trip.

The Border Patrol/customs guys didn’t try to delay me when I asked in a panicked plea where was the restroom. Ran down a long flight of stairs into a big dungeon-like room with at least a dozen stalls which luckily were all vacant. By the time I started searching for a relatively clean one, the latent stench of a thousand bowel movements and accompanying farts hit me.
Not one of the toilets was flushed, all were full of the nastiest collection of poo, and the seats & floors were festooned with smeared TP. After a frantic search, I selected the least decorated stall, dropped my shorts halfway, backed up a bit over the stained porcelain throne and proceed to carpet bomb the already filled target.
Of course there was no TP on the rollers, so I had to carefully waddle over to the paper towel dispenser that was surprisingly full. Proceeded to carefully & thankfully wipe myself with that coarse government grade paper before the inevitable residue dingleberry dribbled down my legs.
Good thing my olfactory senses were destroyed by that initial assault on my nose, as riding the Trailways bus the rest of the way to Austin was almost a pleasant experience.

[dao]

TMI but I can relate :D

[getsome]

I was in a 2 stall bathroom at work one day killing time reading the sports page when the outside door busted open and I heard a guy desperately trying to get the stall door open next to me, well he almost made it but before he got his shorts down it let loose and all I heard was oh F oh F and the hot magma went all down his legs and into his sandals which told me exactly who it was because he was the only person in the office who always wore shorts and sandals in the winter time…..Poor guy, I felt really bad for him so I quickly made my exit from my stall and ripped a paper towel dispenser open and rolled it into the hot zone and left the area pronto and never said nothing………

[340pd]

https://www.1911addicts.com/cdn-cgi/image/format=auto,onerror=redirect,width=1920,height=192 0,fit=scale-down/https://www.1911addicts.com/attachments/1647285154800-png.950100/

[jeepster09]

Spring is coming.....notice that they are not just in the trees, they are all over the ground. This was taken a week or so ago.

[dao]

That's cool. We have a river here, the Skagit, that has trees lined like that but in the Fall when the Salmon are running.

[getsome]

Worst financial decision ever….A guy paid $518.000 dollars for the football from Tom Brady’s last touchdown pass after Brady retired when Tampa lost in the NFC Playoff game……..Well after spending 40 very long days with his wife and children Tom decided that it would be much more preferable to be hit by 260 lb linebackers every Sunday than to do that family experience thing again so now that $518.000 ball is maybe worth $500.00

[Bawanna]

Wouldn't think hanging out with his super model wife would be too difficult but guess that's just me. Might have a Pelosi disposition.

[guido4198]

https://www.1911addicts.com/cdn-cgi/image/format=auto,onerror=redirect,width=1920,height=192 0,fit=scale-down/https://www.1911addicts.com/attachments/1647285154800-png.950100/
BINGO...!!!!!
I grew up in Ft. Lauderdale, FL. I'm outta there now, living in very nice small town about 125 mi up the coast. I still get back there from time to time, and sometimes drive by my old house. The neighborhood I grew up in has deteriorated...A LOT. Most folks don't go there and when they do...they sure as heck don't stop.
Down here in Florida...it's not so much Methlabs, as it is..."Undocumented Importers". Last time I drove by the little house I grew up in, there were two H2 Hummers parked in the driveway, and a 27 ft offshore boat with a pair of very large outboards, multiple radio/GPs antennas and a radar arch slipped into the little side yard behind a (new) wood privacy fence.
I can hear the Miami Vice theme music already..!!! :rolleyes:

[340pd]

https://www.1911addicts.com/cdn-cgi/image/format=auto,onerror=redirect,width=1920,height=192 0,fit=scale-down/https://www.1911addicts.com/attachments/ezgif-4-b0d65923d2-jpg.950937/

[340pd]

https://www.1911addicts.com/cdn-cgi/image/format=auto,onerror=redirect,width=1920,height=192 0,fit=scale-down/https://www.1911addicts.com/attachments/bad76e75cd6391d2b0d53821ea68f4ef-jpg.950730/

[340pd]

https://www.1911addicts.com/cdn-cgi/image/format=auto,onerror=redirect,width=1920,height=192 0,fit=scale-down/https://www.1911addicts.com/attachments/1647367515199-png.950607/

[340pd]

https://www.1911addicts.com/cdn-cgi/image/format=auto,onerror=redirect,width=1920,height=192 0,fit=scale-down/https://www.1911addicts.com/attachments/1647369045554-png.950633/

[340pd]

https://www.1911addicts.com/cdn-cgi/image/format=auto,onerror=redirect,width=1920,height=192 0,fit=scale-down/https://www.1911addicts.com/attachments/govt-jpg.951140/

[pk1313]

I'm pretty sure the guy in the truck is not asking for directions - LOL !!! And also, it's amazing that a manufacturer could just send you a gun in mail - when was that Mossberg Brownie for $5 ? in the 40's or 50's?

[wyntrout]

I remember some really good gun deals... WWII surplus... in the back of comic books in the 50's and 60's. We were poor, though and my VERY tiny "allowance" was limited to one or two candy bar purchases. I bought a candy bar for 5¢ and sold it at school for 10¢. I remember the larger quarter-pounder PayDay bar was 10¢. We could go to the movie theater on Saturdays for a double-feature, cartoon, and a serial show for 25¢. This covered admission, a box of popcorn, AND a soda! :o

By the time I got out of the USAF in August 1968 we had the Gun Control Act which stopped ALL of those mail order deals! :(

[King Rat]

https://i.imgur.com/9C8lSra.png

[340pd]

https://www.1911addicts.com/cdn-cgi/image/format=auto,onerror=redirect,width=1920,height=192 0,fit=scale-down/https://www.1911addicts.com/attachments/1647509661694-png.951621/

[JohnR]

https://www.1911addicts.com/cdn-cgi/image/format=auto,onerror=redirect,width=1920,height=192 0,fit=scale-down/https://www.1911addicts.com/attachments/1647509661694-png.951621/
Wrong. It's a thousand times better.

[340pd]

https://www.1911addicts.com/cdn-cgi/image/format=auto,onerror=redirect,width=1920,height=192 0,fit=scale-down/https://www.1911addicts.com/attachments/screenshot_20220316-140406_opera-jpg.951408/

[kenemoore]

Irish Humor:

Four Irish lads Shawn, Patrick, Colin and Aengus always went fishing on St Paddy's day to celebrate and down a few pints but this was the year Shawn got married and his new bride wouldn't allow him to take part in the plan knowing what always went on and said he must spend the day with her....

Well this bummed ole Shawn and his friends but he said the other three should go on and have a good time without him so they did but when they got to the fish camp there was Shawn with the fire going and a cold Guinness in his hand and his friends were astonished that he was able to get away from his bride for the day and they wanted to know how he was able to pull it off....

Shawn said, well it was like this, My bride went to see that American movie "50 Shades of Grey" and when she returned home she slipped up behind me and put her hands over my eyes and said she had a surprise for me that would make me forget all about the fun I would be missing with you fellows....

When I opened my eyes and looked, she was wearing nothing but a smile and she took me by the hand and began leading me to our bedroom where on the bed she had laid out ropes and handcuffs and she said that she wanted me to tie her feet to the footboard and handcuff her hands to the headboard so she couldn't possibly move and then do whatever I wanted....

So I did and here I am!!!!

[wyntrout]

https://scontent-hou1-1.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t1.18169-9/1901254_507218149388556_2140701013_n.jpg?_nc_cat=1 11&ccb=1-5&_nc_sid=9267fe&_nc_ohc=UkE3ogo_u8oAX8rEyXI&tn=-yM6m7FZDFSMoryf&_nc_ht=scontent-hou1-1.xx&oh=00_AT9M4JbrP_tP5t1C_29Xz01ixD2py5L4xvcTH8Ug9iwe Gg&oe=62584BEB

[getsome]

Happy St. Patty’s day and in the immortal words of Saint Patrick himself, “Well the fokin snakes are finally gone so boys let’s get to drinking”

[BirdsThaWord]

Happy St. Patty’s day and in the immortal words of Saint Patrick himself, “Well the fokin snakes are finally gone so boys let’s get to drinking”
Happy St Patty’s Day man! Had a big ol servin of corned beef, cabbage, a potato and it was some of the best ever. Just now having 1 beer, then back to sanding gun parts. :)

[kenemoore]

Father O'Malley asked if anyone in the congregation would like to express praise for answered prayers. Molly Sullivan stood and walked to the podium.
She said, "I have praise. Two months ago, my husband, Danny, had a terrible bicycle wreck and his scr0tum was completely crushed. The pain was excruciating and the doctors didn't know if they could help him." (You could hear a muffled gasp from the men in the congregation as they imagine the pain that poor Danny must have experienced.)

"Danny was unable to hold me or the children," she went on, "and every move caused him terrible pain. We prayed as the doctors performed a delicate operation, and it turned out they were able to piece together the crushed remnants of Danny's scr0tum, and wrap wire around it to hold it in place." (Again, the men in the congregation cringed and squirm uncomfortably as they imagined the horrible surgery performed on Danny.)

"Now," Molly announced in a quivering voice, "thank the Lord, Danny is out of the hospital and the doctors say that with time, his scr0tum should recover completely." (All the men sighed with unified relief.)

Father O'Malley rose and tentatively asked if anyone else had something to say. A man slowly stood up and walked just as slowly to the podium.

He said, "I'm Danny Sullivan." The entire congregation held its breath. "I just want to tell my wife - the word is sternum."

[jeepster09]

sternum......

[AJBert]

https://www.1911addicts.com/cdn-cgi/image/format=auto,onerror=redirect,width=1920,height=192 0,fit=scale-down/https://www.1911addicts.com/attachments/1647509661694-png.951621/

Me and my three brothers "shared" two ponies, Blackie and Snuffy, when we were little tykes. My folks had their horses, a Palomino and an Arabian. I can attest that they were so much better than any toy we had at the time. Even had my black cowboy hat, black belt with two black holsters, twin polished Colt .45's with ivory grips and black cowboy boots. Yes, I was a bad a$$ back then and in my own mind I still am!

[Armybrat]

My two big brothers & I were bad dudes too, although yours truly was a little bit lacking in trigger discipline.
Fort Sam Houston - San Antonio, Texas.... 1947:

[getsome]

My two big brothers & I were bad dudes too, although yours truly was a little bit lacking in trigger discipline.
Fort Sam Houston - San Antonio, Texas.... 1947:

Yep, genuine bad to the bone…..

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lvmSxfMGldQ

[getsome]

Tonight I got out of the shower, dried off and was looking in the mirror when my wife walked in the bathroom and I said to her, you know honey I don’t get what you see in me, I’m just a fat old ugly man with nothing to offer a woman like you and I need a complement so I can feel better about myself and she say’s well at least your eyesight is still good…….

[Armybrat]

The pandemic must be over - things getting back to normal here.
( My next door neighbor’s kid is a high school freshman) Fixed it for ya. bawanna.

[dustnchips]

https://scontent-mia3-2.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t39.30808-6/276078213_5651230254894232_6966037325914058175_n.j pg?stp=dst-jpg_p552x414&_nc_cat=103&ccb=1-5&_nc_sid=8bfeb9&_nc_ohc=pjGl7JA7qLoAX-mhoP2&_nc_ht=scontent-mia3-2.xx&oh=00_AT8jkt_hq1LDATZiB4wIQoO-GzW76k6jyp_hixkFR2kQIQ&oe=623B4A91

[AJBert]

We got about 10" of snow a few days ago. Nothing out of the ordinary for here during March, or April and May for that matter. Anyways, I broke out the snow blower for the umpteenth time this winter to clear the drive way and our neighbor's drive. Luckily the neighbors have the smallest drive around these parts, only 20 yards or so. Ours is about 100 yards. Anyways, after clearing out behind our truck and car, I backed both of them up to clear away where they were sitting and noticed the wife's car was below a quarter of a tank. I finished up our drive and moved onto the neighbors.

Finally made it back into the house and told the wife we need to take out a loan. She looked at me like I was crazy (which does happen from time to time) asked why in the world do we need to take out a loan. I told her that her car needed to be filled up. Didn't even get a chuckle out of her but I did get the eyes rolling.

[getsome]

Last fill up about 10 days ago it was $4.19 a gallon today it was $4.58 at the same place…..Georgia Governor Kemp signed a bill to temporarily eliminate the state fuel tax but the prices keep going up daily……You know it’s bad when they play title pawn loan ads on the pump videos in case you need a little help paying the bill……The shame of it is that America has more oil in ANWR and off shore than Saudi Arabia but Joe wants to bankrupt people to promote green energy that doesn’t exist…….The problem is we have educated idiots like Susan who wrote into our local newspaper editorial page saying we need to promote electric cars and eliminate all coal fired electric power plants to save the planet…….

[jeepster09]

....

[JohnR]

We went from $4.39 to $3.99 now.

[GROTMAN]

SOUNDS LIKE YOU GUYS ALL HAVE A CASE OF THIS
https://www.ncgunowners.com/xf/attachments/275978866_130694366189190_6882726652385428303_n-jpg.11076/

[340pd]

https://www.1911addicts.com/cdn-cgi/image/format=auto,onerror=redirect,width=1920,height=192 0,fit=scale-down/https://www.1911addicts.com/attachments/ezgif-4-b118886de8-jpg.954222/

[340pd]

https://www.1911addicts.com/cdn-cgi/image/format=auto,onerror=redirect,width=1920,height=192 0,fit=scale-down/https://www.1911addicts.com/attachments/screenshot_20220319-190242_opera-jpg.953471/

[GROTMAN]

https://www.ncgunowners.com/xf/attachments/doggie-jpg.11101/



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[340pd]

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[Armybrat]

This tornado that started downtown in the city of Round Rock, Texas early this evening and traveled on the ground northeast for 20+ miles just missed my youngest son’s house in the town of Hutto. Some of his neighbors lost lots of shingles, but his pretty new roof is ok. Some homes in the area were detroyed though.
An 18 wheeler was blown over on that Interstate 35 flyover in the extreme lower right corner of the photo, and one of those 150’ light poles was wrecked.

It formed about 3 miles SE of my house, and several other twisted roard through central Texas.

[getsome]

Glad to hear you’re ok as well as your son…..They have been talking about this storm system on the news here in Atlanta as being a nasty one and due to hit us late Wednesday…….Mother Nature is a powerful thing and sometimes all you can do is pray to the Good Lord that it misses you……..

[340pd]

https://www.1911addicts.com/cdn-cgi/image/format=auto,onerror=redirect,width=1920,height=192 0,fit=scale-down/https://www.1911addicts.com/attachments/1647947309665-png.954964/

[340pd]

https://www.1911addicts.com/cdn-cgi/image/format=auto,onerror=redirect,width=1920,height=192 0,fit=scale-down/https://www.1911addicts.com/attachments/10511190_10152267627799611_5169821950583045653_n-jpg.954921/

[340pd]

https://www.1911addicts.com/cdn-cgi/image/format=auto,onerror=redirect,width=1920,height=192 0,fit=scale-down/https://www.1911addicts.com/attachments/arw-2ddwgr_t3-jpg.954543/

[340pd]

https://www.1911addicts.com/cdn-cgi/image/format=auto,onerror=redirect,width=1920,height=192 0,fit=scale-down/https://www.1911addicts.com/attachments/download-2-png.955091/

[GROTMAN]

https://www.ncgunowners.com/xf/attachments/2-jpg.11115/

[340pd]

https://www.1911addicts.com/cdn-cgi/image/format=auto,onerror=redirect,width=1920,height=192 0,fit=scale-down/https://www.1911addicts.com/attachments/store-jpg.955581/

[340pd]

https://www.1911addicts.com/cdn-cgi/image/format=auto,onerror=redirect,width=1920,height=192 0,fit=scale-down/https://www.1911addicts.com/attachments/1648082958075-png.956237/

[340pd]

https://www.1911addicts.com/cdn-cgi/image/format=auto,onerror=redirect,width=1920,height=192 0,fit=scale-down/https://www.1911addicts.com/attachments/1648065807836-png.956043/

[Armybrat]

My parents had 1954 Buick Super and later on, a 1956 Roadmaster. .

[lesptr]

https://uploads.tapatalk-cdn.com/20220325/2fe4f6960690edff2a6ee3d2ae29145b.jpg

[getsome]

https://uploads.tapatalk-cdn.com/20220325/2fe4f6960690edff2a6ee3d2ae29145b.jpg

It was quite an odd plot for a kids movie and I still don’t like those flying monkeys one bit…….It was a complete miracle that nobody died during filming….. The “Little People” hired to be Munchkins were all a bunch of crazed party animal drunks and since Judy Garland who played Dorothy Gale was only 5 feet tall there were many little hands constantly finding their way under her skirt, she complained but nobody cared….…MGM put all the little people up in a really nice hotel and every night the Police would have to break up drunken orgies and they would haul them off in pillow cases because the cuffs were too big and the studio would bail them out so they could continue filming the next day because it would be impossible to find any new munchkins on such short notice so what else could they do……Poor Judy Garland was only 16 and the studio was so obsessed with keeping her tiny so as to look like a 12 year old they would only let her eat chicken soup and coffee and fed her amphetamines so she could film for more than 48 hours at a time……She was smoking 3 packs of cigarettes a day to suppress her appetite and the studio would supply her with sleeping pills so she could show up for work the next day………………Judy Garland died at age 47 from a drug overdose…..

Margaret Hamilton played the Wicked Witch of the West and in the scene when she is leaving Munchkin Land in a puff of smoke the trap door was slow to open and she suffered 2nd degree burns to her face and 3rd degree burns to both arms and hands and her stunt double Betty Danko almost lost a leg when she sat on a smoking broom stick to fly away and it exploded…..

Buddy Ebsen was originally cast as the “Tin Man” but after a week of being painted with toxic aluminum dust paste he was poisoned and almost died in the hospital…….In the end it was a timeless great film but you look at it differently knowing what went on but I guess they did things a lot different in the movie business back then………..

[JohnR]

Nothing’s different today. Kid actors are abused, people get shot, it’s run by sociopaths.

[yqtszhj]

Nothing’s different today. Kid actors are abused, people get shot, it’s run by sociopaths.

and the majority society (but not the good Kahr talk folks thank goodness) gets there values from such people. Crazy, ain’t it?

[lesptr]

It was quite an odd plot for a kids movie and I still don’t like those flying monkeys one bit…….It was a complete miracle that nobody died during filming….. The “Little People” hired to be Munchkins were all a bunch of crazed party animal drunks and since Judy Garland who played Dorothy Gale was only 5 feet tall there were many little hands constantly finding their way under her skirt, she complained but nobody cared….…MGM put all the little people up in a really nice hotel and every night the Police would have to break up drunken orgy’s and they would haul them off in pillow cases because the cuffs were too big and the studio would bail them out so they could continue filming the next day because it would be impossible to find any new munchkins on such short notice so what else could they do……Poor Judy Garland was only 16 and the studio was so obsessed with keeping her tiny so as to look like a 12 year old they would only let her eat chicken soup and coffee and fed her amphetamines so she could film for more than 48 hours at a time and she was smoking 3 packs of cigarettes a day to suppress her appetite and the studio would supply her with sleeping pills so she could show up for work the next day………………Judy Garland died at age 47 from a drug overdose…..

Margaret Hamilton played the Wicked Witch of the West and in the scene when she is leaving Munchkin Land in a puff of smoke the trap door was slow to open and she suffered 2nd degree burns to her face and 3rd degree burns to both arms and hands and her stunt double Betty Danko almost lost a leg when she sat on a smoking broom stick to fly away and it exploded…..

Buddy Ebsen was originally cast as the “Tin Man” but after a week of being painted with toxic aluminum dust paste he was poisoned and almost died in the hospital…….In the end it was a timeless great film but you look at it differently knowing what went on but I guess they did things a lot different in the movie business back then………..

I had no idea Hollywood was that bad back in those days. Seems to have only gotten worse.

[340pd]

https://www.1911addicts.com/cdn-cgi/image/format=auto,onerror=redirect,width=1920,height=192 0,fit=scale-down/https://www.1911addicts.com/attachments/1648139720046-png.956590/

[340pd]

https://www.1911addicts.com/cdn-cgi/image/format=auto,onerror=redirect,width=1920,height=192 0,fit=scale-down/https://www.1911addicts.com/attachments/1648140033355-png.956596/

[Armybrat]

After her ankle surgery in 2007 my wife went to a rehab facility for physical therapy. One of her fellow patients there was an old gent who was one of the last living “Munchkins”. Quite the nice fellow, and one morning the staff celebrated his birthday when he arrived for PT.
She says they never talked about the movie.
His family of little people lived in the town of Pflugerville, Texas.

[dustnchips]

first off I am ok. I was a little shaken up this morning as I was robbed at the shell gas station in North Palm Beach . After my hands stopped trembling I managed to call the police. They were quick to respond and calmed me down. My money is all gone. The police asked me if I knew who did it. I said yes...
It was pump number 3.

[getsome]

Hope you shot the bastard!

[dao]

Stand back about 20 feet though. To give you both a fighting chance

[Armybrat]

But pump #3 was a good boy.

[mr surveyor]

coulda been Zero's son

[BirdsThaWord]

Stand back about 20 feet though. To give you both a fighting chance
Maybe a little further back than that! :p
Good one Dustn!

[jeepster09]

Good info here.....Peter Butlich the Trans Secretary is having road signs made....

[340pd]

https://www.1911addicts.com/cdn-cgi/image/format=auto,onerror=redirect,width=1920,height=192 0,fit=scale-down/https://www.1911addicts.com/attachments/80d044bd-f23e-4a2d-b31d-75fdabddf72e-2326106-jpg.957484/

[GROTMAN]

https://www.ncgunowners.com/xf/attachments/9-jpg.11158/

[jeepster09]

He don't bite.....

[340pd]

https://www.1911addicts.com/cdn-cgi/image/format=auto,onerror=redirect,width=1920,height=192 0,fit=scale-down/https://www.1911addicts.com/attachments/__cfff3d1ea027ab8379dfb846e1e6a301_width-600-jpeg-jpg.958959/

[340pd]

https://www.1911addicts.com/cdn-cgi/image/format=auto,onerror=redirect,width=1920,height=192 0,fit=scale-down/https://www.1911addicts.com/attachments/arw-2dmfgo_t3-jpg.958611/

[dao]

https://www.1911addicts.com/cdn-cgi/image/format=auto,onerror=redirect,width=1920,height=192 0,fit=scale-down/https://www.1911addicts.com/attachments/__cfff3d1ea027ab8379dfb846e1e6a301_width-600-jpeg-jpg.958959/

Thanks for the chuckle. Glad I've never been a Ford guy.

[340pd]

https://www.1911addicts.com/cdn-cgi/image/format=auto,onerror=redirect,width=1920,height=192 0,fit=scale-down/https://www.1911addicts.com/attachments/screenshot_20220329-200733_opera-jpg.960555/

[340pd]

https://www.1911addicts.com/cdn-cgi/image/format=auto,onerror=redirect,width=1920,height=192 0,fit=scale-down/https://www.1911addicts.com/attachments/screenshot_20220329-200446_opera-jpg.960556/

[340pd]

https://www.1911addicts.com/cdn-cgi/image/format=auto,onerror=redirect,width=1920,height=192 0,fit=scale-down/https://www.1911addicts.com/attachments/1648584561567-png.960316/

[340pd]

https://www.1911addicts.com/cdn-cgi/image/format=auto,onerror=redirect,width=1920,height=192 0,fit=scale-down/https://www.1911addicts.com/attachments/img_2459-jpg.960403/

[Bawanna]

Always been partial the the 30-30 myself, have several. But I like the 45-70 for serious business.

[Armybrat]

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