April Foolishness

[340pd]

https://www.1911addicts.com/cdn-cgi/image/format=auto,onerror=redirect,width=1920,height=192 0,fit=scale-down/https://www.1911addicts.com/attachments/1648750577549-png.961673/

[340pd]

https://www.1911addicts.com/cdn-cgi/image/format=auto,onerror=redirect,width=1920,height=192 0,fit=scale-down/https://www.1911addicts.com/attachments/1648743024003-png.961608/

[340pd]

https://www.1911addicts.com/cdn-cgi/image/format=auto,onerror=redirect,width=1920,height=192 0,fit=scale-down/https://www.1911addicts.com/attachments/1648743114999-png.961610/

[jeepster09]

A picture of the youth Mike Rowe is talking about.....

[Bawanna]

Oh man I hope Jocko's drool cup was empty, it's gotta be filling up fast with this porn.

[GROTMAN]

Four old Catholic men and a Catholic woman were having coffee in St. Peters Square.

The first Catholic man tells his friends, "My son is a priest, when he walks into a room, everyone calls him 'Father'."

The second Catholic man chirps, "My son is a Bishop. When he walks into a room people call him 'Your Grace'."

The third Catholic gent says, "My son is a Cardinal. When he enters a room everyone bows their head and says 'Your Eminence'."

The fourth Catholic man says very proudly, "My son is the Pope. When he walks into a room people call him 'Your Holiness'."

Since the lone Catholic woman was sipping her coffee in silence.

The four men give her a subtle, "Well....?"

She proudly replies, I have a daughter, SLIM & TALL:


40" D Breasts
24" WAIST and
34" HIP

When she walks into a room, people say,
"JESUS"
https://www.ncgunowners.com/xf/attachments/1-jpg.11219/

[GROTMAN]

https://uploads.tapatalk-cdn.com/20220330/745a90d636f8a585f84e36350d6d4309.jpg

[jeepster09]

......

[getsome]

In 1953 Jonas Salk invented the Polio vaccine and it was given to children everywhere and after being vaccinated no one has ever since contracted Polio again but today I went to the CVS Drugstore to get allergy pills and I noticed a sign in the drugstore saying a 4th Covid vaccine is now available for folks 50 and over AND you also get 8 Covid-19 test kits for FREE if you get one so I’m thinking, ok I have 3 shots of mystery juice in me and now I can get another one and free test kits to see if I get the virus that I’ve already taken 3 shots to prevent………Somehow this isn’t building confidence in my mind that this stuff works……

[jeepster09]

Polio shot was for curing/preventing disease, today's shot is for making money....times have changed. When we were kids if you raised cain at your friends house THEIR PARENTS could discipline you.
Today if a kid was raising cain at a friends house they call police or sue the parents. :ohmy:

[JohnR]

Eventually those phone calls about renewing your car’s extended warranty will be about renewing your covid shots.

[dao]

^^^ LOL. Somehow I don't think this is unreasonable at all to expect John. Good call.

[340pd]

https://www.1911addicts.com/cdn-cgi/image/format=auto,onerror=redirect,width=1920,height=192 0,fit=scale-down/https://www.1911addicts.com/attachments/1648939436294-png.963502/

[340pd]

https://www.1911addicts.com/cdn-cgi/image/format=auto,onerror=redirect,width=1920,height=192 0,fit=scale-down/https://www.1911addicts.com/attachments/1648939824274-png.963509/

[Armybrat]

...

[340pd]

https://www.1911addicts.com/cdn-cgi/image/format=auto,onerror=redirect,width=1920,height=192 0,fit=scale-down/https://www.1911addicts.com/attachments/1648845744788-png.962567/

[340pd]

https://www.1911addicts.com/cdn-cgi/image/format=auto,onerror=redirect,width=1920,height=192 0,fit=scale-down/https://www.1911addicts.com/attachments/1648840069128-png.962463/

[dao]

...

I guess the world really is upside down these days

[jeepster09]

I guess the world really is upside down these days.........

[Bawanna]

Ooops, I fixed it before I read all the post. My bad.

[dao]

Oh, that's fine. I just thought that it was actually fitting that it was upside down given the rest of the content in the post. Almost like AB did it that way on purpose. :)

[340pd]

https://www.1911addicts.com/cdn-cgi/image/format=auto,onerror=redirect,width=1920,height=192 0,fit=scale-down/https://www.1911addicts.com/attachments/screenshot_20220404-074708_opera-jpg.964719/

[Bawanna]

Spent a lot of time on those in my youth, did get launched a few times too.

[dao]

Amen to that.
When I was a kid in MA, at a local year-round amusement park there was a fun house that was open all year. In it they had a big wheel, probably about 3 times the diameter of the one above, but it had nothing to hold onto. When it stopped the race was on to get to the center. Its surface was hard wood flooring and unless you were in the very center there was no way you could stay on it, it was just a matter of how long you could keep your hands planted to prevent slipping. Around the outside was more hardwood flooring shaped like a bowl so when you flew off you just slide to a stop as your body started up the sides of the bowl. It was a blast! It cost about a buck to go inside and you could stay as long as you wanted and ride that wheel all day long if you liked. There were other things to amuse also but the wheel was always where we spent most of our time.

[jeepster09]

I used to go to Whalom Park in Mass. If memory correct they had those.

[Bawanna]

Ours was just a little local park, no fee to enter, had the wheel, some monkey bars and a large wading pool that was only about a foot deep. It was only a couple blocks from my house so even very young I was allowed to go there on my own. Weren't no big deal really but at the time it was a blast and in the hot summer the wading pool was the go to hang out.

[jeepster09]

Everyone ready for Easter Egg dying contest....:madgrin:

[dao]

I used to go to Whalom Park in Mass. If memory correct they had those.


That's the place. I was born and raised in MA.

You ever go to the ice races on the lake jeep?

[mr surveyor]

we had those "whirly wheel" things at all the elementary schools and the city park when I was a kid. Also had jungle gyms, monkey bars, see-saws and swings. Yeah, there was one or two broken bones every year, but mostly girls.

jd

[jeepster09]

That's the place. I was born and raised in MA.

You ever go to the ice races on the lake jeep?

I also was born and raised there. Went to high school in Arlington. Never been to Lake Jeep; but we all raced [more like a demo derby] on Crosby's Pond in Concord.

[AJBert]

I grew up in the country, so no parks, let alone amusement parks. We did have fun, though, with sixty acres, seven ponds and numerous ponderosa pine trees. Amazing how many "contests" we came up with between 4 boys left to their own devices. I guess was one of the more disgusting ones was to see who came out of one of the ponds with the most leeches on them. I suppose the most dangerous was the tree climbing contests, as in who could climb to the top of a sixty-foot tree and get back down the fastest with your feet, or body, on the ground. Of course, there were two of us racing at the same time as none of us had a watch. That also added a bit more to the fun. Amazingly, I don't recall any of us falling out of a tree ever, though if the race was close we were known to jump out of the tree before getting to the lowest limb. Maybe a few bump and scratches but no trips to the emergency room.

[Armybrat]

I grew up on Army posts in the 1940s & ‘50s that had a minimum of kids playgrounds.
But we did get to play on some cool stuff like Sherman tanks, half tracks, howitzers that were displayed.
At Fort Leavenworth they even had a static display of a captured Nazi Buzz Bomb from WW2 that I loved to crawl all over.
Didn’t get to play on one of those merry-go-round things until we were stationed in St.Louis in the mid 1950s. I didn’t like it because it launched me along with a stream of barf.

[dao]

Ok, so I should have said, "Jeep, you ever been to the ice races on the lake"? :D

We were riding that roller coaster once when they stopped the cars right before we got to the top and it released us. They made us walk down because a cable had broken.

[getsome]

It is amazing that any boys survived the late 60’s early 70’s……..When my friends and I were sub freshmen in high school, meaning that we were nothing but useless slime scum we all hung out at the local park that had one of those kid killer spinning wheels of death and also had one of those three level chin up bars and at the time the campus stud was Ronnie Mayer and all the girls loved him because he was an athlete and good looking and had been held back a few grades and had a drivers license…….Ronnie had a Honda 100 dirt/street bike and one day he showed up at the park and started to do stunts on his bike which ended up with his friend riding his Honda with him on the back and the plan was to ride under the highest chin up bar and Ronnie was going to stand up on the rear pegs and grab onto the bar and do a flip…….They should have measured the bar height better because at about 20 mph Ronnie stood up a little too high and caught the bar right in the forehead…….I remember the sound and if you have ever heard a college fastball contacting an aluminum bat for a home run that was it, PING and Ronnie was out on the ground and not moving…….We all thought he was done and somebody went to get his mom to tell her that Ronnie was dead………..His mom showed up just about the time he came to saying SOB M’fer what happened…..I guess his mom took him home or hopefully to the hospital…….That was 1970 or so and not only did Ronnie live and recover from the near death experience he now owns a very successful wrecker towing business in Chamblee Ga but to this day every time I see one of his R Mayer tow trucks I hear that ping sound and have a little chuckle………

[JohnR]

Early ‘70s we got those clacker balls - two plastic balls on a string you clack together. We were told they were dangerous, but scoffed. There were rumors that if the balls broke, the material inside was radioactive. I didn’t believe that, but I was 8, and it was the Cold War.

[340pd]

https://www.1911addicts.com/cdn-cgi/image/format=auto,onerror=redirect,width=1920,height=192 0,fit=scale-down/https://www.1911addicts.com/attachments/hbc41ad2e-jpg.965297/

[340pd]

https://www.1911addicts.com/cdn-cgi/image/format=auto,onerror=redirect,width=1920,height=192 0,fit=scale-down/https://www.1911addicts.com/attachments/thumbs_picdump770_032-jpg.965299/

[340pd]

https://www.1911addicts.com/cdn-cgi/image/format=auto,onerror=redirect,width=1920,height=192 0,fit=scale-down/https://www.1911addicts.com/attachments/1649116479455-png.965249/

[dao]

Imagine what those same 12+ guns would cost today. I'm sure the US Government only paid about $50 each for them then. Cool picture!

[340pd]

https://www.1911addicts.com/cdn-cgi/image/format=auto,onerror=redirect,width=1920,height=192 0,fit=scale-down/https://www.1911addicts.com/attachments/1649098898766-png.965032/

[jeepster09]

I grew up on Army posts in the 1940s & ‘50s that had a minimum of kids playgrounds.
But we did get to play on some cool stuff like Sherman tanks, half tracks, howitzers that were displayed.
At Fort Leavenworth they even had a static display of a captured Nazi Buzz Bomb from WW2 that I loved to crawl all over.
Didn’t get to play on one of those merry-go-round things until we were stationed in St.Louis in the mid 1950s. I didn’t like it because it launched me along with a stream of barf.

Leavenworth was my dad's post. He was an MP there. His duty was riding the trains bringing back prisoners from the east coast [I guess that would of been great duty during the war].

[jeepster09]

Ok, so I should have said, "Jeep, you ever been to the ice races on the lake"? :D

We were riding that roller coaster once when they stopped the cars right before we got to the top and it released us. They made us walk down because a cable had broken.


Ahhh the memories of the stuff we did as kids! Where I grew up we all had our own cars by about age 10. I didn't live far from some of the Kennedy's in Massachusetts and they let us drive in their gravel company pits which was next to a forest with lots of logging roads. I remember being told by manager just to stay away from the hogs. At that age didn't mean anything to us "stay away from hogs" I think back and realized he told us that for our own good, lucky the hogs never ate us [they were wild ones]. Here is clip from local paper back then of one of our many mischievous adventures. We convinced Bobby to put on the silver fall out suit from my dad's closet, shoved a flashing flashlight lantern down the back and taped on some t.v. rabbit ears to his head......then came convincing people along along the road we saw a spaceship land!

[dao]

Fun times, those bygone days of our youth. Sometimes I wish I didn't know now what I didn't know then. But most all of us learned some hard lessons due to what we didn't know then. Lucky for you the meanness of hogs wasn't one of them!

[JohnR]

I think this is a clothing ad, but I’m not positive…

https://alexoathletica.com/wp-content/uploads/sites/4/2022/02/5K2A6706-ps-sa-scaled.jpg

[340pd]

https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhO5y8zX-cvfd1dG6N_u6kUQCHF2Iffa5vkdTqe2gHaz_RwMO1_dS9ujPj0 iL14FrQJ57LhVuWAAsSPlV_pvADsk-2ROzLYiIEC1yaznyoUllmEpMC8wIkMnOrpj6RylnaKubRC4d2v fb3d1gBnEDoIdSdo56YtiY299p8L-gqCGcJu_2nbYMZzNgNu/w640-h500/6.png

[SlowBurn]

I think this is a clothing ad, but I’m not positive…

https://alexoathletica.com/wp-content/uploads/sites/4/2022/02/5K2A6706-ps-sa-scaled.jpg

Looks comfortable

[JohnR]

Yes, she does.

[dao]

And you could honestly answer without fear for life and limb when she asks, "do these pants make my butt look big?".

[GROTMAN]

https://www.ncgunowners.com/xf/attachments/dr-jpg.11288/

[340pd]

https://www.1911addicts.com/cdn-cgi/image/format=auto,onerror=redirect,width=1920,height=192 0,fit=scale-down/https://www.1911addicts.com/attachments/aim-jpg.966821/

[340pd]

https://www.1911addicts.com/cdn-cgi/image/format=auto,onerror=redirect,width=1920,height=192 0,fit=scale-down/https://www.1911addicts.com/attachments/7781fd7dd2d928f5b11e4e07441a464f821366bd2b7f1866dc df78c382e08bdd-jpg.966854/

[340pd]

https://www.1911addicts.com/cdn-cgi/image/format=auto,onerror=redirect,width=1920,height=192 0,fit=scale-down/https://www.1911addicts.com/attachments/1649261736709-png.966335/

[340pd]

https://www.1911addicts.com/cdn-cgi/image/format=auto,onerror=redirect,width=1920,height=192 0,fit=scale-down/https://www.1911addicts.com/attachments/1zy-2eke24_t3-jpg.966242/

[340pd]

https://www.1911addicts.com/cdn-cgi/image/format=auto,onerror=redirect,width=1920,height=192 0,fit=scale-down/https://www.1911addicts.com/attachments/1649367418593-png.967301/

[AJBert]

Love that picture!

[340pd]

https://www.1911addicts.com/cdn-cgi/image/format=auto,onerror=redirect,width=1920,height=192 0,fit=scale-down/https://www.1911addicts.com/attachments/1649519963359-png.968530/

[340pd]

https://www.1911addicts.com/cdn-cgi/image/format=auto,onerror=redirect,width=1920,height=192 0,fit=scale-down/https://www.1911addicts.com/attachments/1649452378260-png.967951/

[wyntrout]

https://scontent-hou1-1.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t39.30808-6/278320332_151043140738785_7672241704224174504_n.jp g?_nc_cat=104&ccb=1-5&_nc_sid=5cd70e&_nc_ohc=JUn3C0sKQwEAX-S1GRB&_nc_ht=scontent-hou1-1.xx&oh=00_AT8xyISwEayZigXkPE2I1aSdKYO7J4-0kcpqyhTXoeZ6AQ&oe=625793D2

[340pd]

https://www.1911addicts.com/cdn-cgi/image/format=auto,onerror=redirect,width=1920,height=192 0,fit=scale-down/https://www.1911addicts.com/attachments/__a2d25b8afe3d132a49190b8d4b2f0f4c_width-600-jpeg-jpg.969668/

[340pd]

https://www.1911addicts.com/cdn-cgi/image/format=auto,onerror=redirect,width=1920,height=192 0,fit=scale-down/https://www.1911addicts.com/attachments/__1e1bd2842c59cd747005c06a67617cbe_width-600-jpeg-jpg.969669/

[340pd]

https://www.1911addicts.com/cdn-cgi/image/format=auto,onerror=redirect,width=1920,height=192 0,fit=scale-down/https://www.1911addicts.com/attachments/1649615849234-png.969386/

[wyntrout]

https://scontent-hou1-1.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t39.30808-6/278193917_532277314914605_2019034001277529537_n.jp g?_nc_cat=105&ccb=1-5&_nc_sid=5cd70e&_nc_ohc=d2-CUYS41hMAX_SpCGk&_nc_ht=scontent-hou1-1.xx&oh=00_AT8z3n_ovtz88rcaptEkEj_GuwVMC6Ov_J4vezOvbA-BDw&oe=62584F55

[Ken L]

^^that is hilarious!

[Armybrat]

Imma gonna send that one to my vegan son. Lol

[Bawanna]

You got vegans in Texas????? Say it ain't so.

[Bawanna]

Saw this on Fakebook so it must be PC.

[Bawanna]

Oh and one more good one.

[340pd]

https://www.1911addicts.com/cdn-cgi/image/format=auto,onerror=redirect,width=1920,height=192 0,fit=scale-down/https://www.1911addicts.com/attachments/2828a66d-1903-46d5-ae0d-5a876b55df13_jpe-2346345-jpg.970536/

[340pd]

https://www.1911addicts.com/cdn-cgi/image/format=auto,onerror=redirect,width=1920,height=192 0,fit=scale-down/https://www.1911addicts.com/attachments/1649701666088-png.969985/

[340pd]

https://www.1911addicts.com/cdn-cgi/image/format=auto,onerror=redirect,width=1920,height=192 0,fit=scale-down/https://www.1911addicts.com/attachments/1649701921289-png.969993/

[Armybrat]

Took this pic locally today. A Texan making a request to all the incoming Californians & yankees moving here in droves.

[Bawanna]

That would be my biggest fear is moving there and then getting took over by them folks and I'd be considered one of them, even though I go there to get away from them.
I guess there's a mass exodus of folks moving there. There's at least half a dozen coworkers who have bought property down there, some of their families are already there but plan to be there eventually.

[Armybrat]

We should tell them what kind of weather they will be facing around here.
Today’s events within 30 miles of our hood.

[getsome]

Holy Smokes man!!! :2eek:

[Planedude]

Wow! What a Hailstone...

I guess sometime the sky is falling.

[BirdsThaWord]

That’s a widow maker for sure!

[JohnR]

9mm vs. 45ACP vs. Texas hailstone.

[Armybrat]

Did not put the trash can out by the curb yesterday evening because the weather guy said there was a possibility of another storm cell rolling through overnight with strong winds.
Now...our garbage truck guys almost never come in the mornings - usually late afternoon. So guess what the wife heard rumbling out in the street at 7am while we were just waking up?
Luckily I had pulled the can out of the yard shack yesterday, put it by the corner of the garage and had it ready to go out on the curb.
However, the truck had already rolled by our house and was several doors down. But not to be denied, I hauled ass with that can full of sacks of yard waste & trash bags down the street for half the block.
Fortunately the worker on the back of the truck saw me and waved at the driver to back up, then put the can on the hydraulic lifter to empty it.
He chuckled at the sight of the fat old man, in my old T-shirt, shorts, house slippers & bad bed hair.

That’s only the second time this year the garbage truck came by before noon. Even the recycle truck never comes before 8am. 😤
And that, dear readers, is another exciting episode in the life of a retired oldfart

[340pd]

https://www.1911addicts.com/cdn-cgi/image/format=auto,onerror=redirect,width=1920,height=192 0,fit=scale-down/https://www.1911addicts.com/attachments/ezgif-3-fbc67a13ad-jpg.970548/

[Bawanna]

Does such a woman actually exist?

[jeepster09]

Yes.....

[340pd]

https://www.1911addicts.com/cdn-cgi/image/format=auto,onerror=redirect,width=1920,height=192 0,fit=scale-down/https://www.1911addicts.com/attachments/1649867527865-png.971406/

[340pd]

Yes.....
https://www.1911addicts.com/cdn-cgi/image/format=auto,onerror=redirect,width=1920,height=192 0,fit=scale-down/https://www.1911addicts.com/attachments/aaa-jpeg.971438/

[jeepster09]

......

[King Rat]

https://i.imgur.com/PI8P3yj.jpg

[getsome]

https://i.imgur.com/PI8P3yj.jpg

Governor Lepetomane gives you sir a double Harrumph for that one!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JN99jshaQbY

[King Rat]

You probably saw the news that a Bird Crapped on Taliban Joe during a Inflation Speech the other day. Below is what the Little Bird Tweeted.

https://i.imgur.com/yVU2JNp.png

[jeepster09]

Free bus rides.....:Amflag2:

https://rumble.com/v10u402-gov.-abbott-follows-through-drops-off-bus-of-illegals-for-biden-in-dc.html

[Armybrat]

That redhead skank WH press secretary condemned it as a “stunt”.
Clueless wench.
Send them all to the democrat enclaves.

[yqtszhj]

https://www.1911addicts.com/cdn-cgi/image/format=auto,onerror=redirect,width=1920,height=192 0,fit=scale-down/https://www.1911addicts.com/attachments/1649519963359-png.968530/

hey, that literally happened to me once overseas. I was standing there emptying my bladder and all of a sudden beside me this “chick “ walked up and stared emptying hers, only it wasn’t a her…

[jeepster09]

Old Biker
An 80 year old man went to the doctor for a check-up and the doctor was amazed at what good shape the guy was in. The doctor asked, "To what do you attribute your good health?"

The old timer said, "I'm a biker and that's why I'm in such good shape. I'm up well before daylight on Sundays and out sliding around corners, "shootin" sand washes and riding up and down the steepest, wildest mountains I can find at the crack of dawn."

The doctor said, "Well, I'm sure that helps, but there's got to be more to it. How old was your dad when he died?" The old biker said, "Who said my dad's dead?"
The doctor said, "You mean you're 80 years old and your dad's still alive? How old is he?"
The old biker said, "He's 99 years old and, in fact, he went riding with me this Sunday, and that's why he's still alive... he's a biker too."

The doctor said, "Well, that's great, but I'm sure there's more to it. How about your dad's dad? How old was he when he died?"
The old biker said, "Who said my grandpa's dead?"
The doctor said, "You mean you're 80 years old and your grandfather's still living! How old is he?"
The old biker replied, "He's 117 years old."

The doctor was getting frustrated at this point and said, "I guess he went riding with you this Sunday too?"
The old timer said, "No... Grandpa couldn't go this week because he got married."
The Doctor said in amazement, "Got married!! Good Lord!!! Why would a 117-year-old guy want to get married?"

To this old biker smiled and answered,
"Who said Jocko wanted to?"

[Bawanna]

Good one Jeepster.

[Armybrat]

Yes it was. :D😂

[getsome]

hey, that literally happened to me once overseas. I was standing there emptying my bladder and all of a sudden beside me this “chick “ walked up and stared emptying hers, only it wasn’t a her…

Here is the real problem with the NCAA letting a 6’1 guy who calls himself Lia Thomas and wears a girls swim suit compete against real biological females is that now Division 1 basketball athletic directors are not going to offer scholarships to a 6 foot female who is a really good athlete and should get one when they can recruit a 6’6 power forward who’s real name is Mike but he feels like Michelle today……This is totally nuts….

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DDkCe2cUHAA

[dao]

My son loves puns. I saw what you did there. And I agree, it's totally nuts :D

[JohnR]

More like numb nuts.

[GROTMAN]

Due to the climate of political correctness now pervading America , Kentuckians, Tennesseans, North Carolinans and West Virginians will no longer be referred to as 'HILLBILLIES' and/or 'REDNECKS".

You must now refer to them as APPALACHIAN-AMERICANS.

And furthermore, HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT WOMEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT:

1. She is not a 'BABE' or a 'CHICK' - She is a
BREASTED AMERICAN. '

2. She is not 'EASY' - She is 'HORIZONTALLY ACCESSIBLE.'

3. She is not a 'DUMB BLONDE' - She is a
'LIGHT-HAIRED DETOUR OFF THE INFORMATION SUPERHIGHWAY.'

4. She has not 'BEEN AROUND' - She is a
'PREVIOUSLY-ENJOYED COMPANION.'

5. She does not 'NAG' you - She becomes
'VERBALLY REPETITIVE.'

6. She is not a 'TWO-BIT HOOKER' - She is a 'LOW-COST PROVIDER.'

HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT MEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT:

1. He does not have a 'BEER GUT' - He has developed a 'LIQUID GRAIN STORAGE FACILITY.'

2. He is not a 'BAD DANCER' - He is 'OVERLY CAUCASIAN.'

3.. He does not 'GET LOST ALL THE TIME' - He
'INVESTIGATES ALTERNATIVE DESTINATIONS.'

4. He is not 'BALDING' - He is in 'FOLLICLE REGRESSION.'

5. He does not act like a 'TOTAL ASS' - He develops a case of 'RECTAL-CRANIAL INVERSION.'

6. It's not his 'CRACK' you see hanging out of his pants - It's 'TROUSER CLEAVAGE.'

[getsome]

Liquid grain storage facility…….I like that, come to think about it since I’ve been working my back half off all day today trying to please the queen bee I think it might be about High Life time to check the tank level and refuel……..

[340pd]

https://www.1911addicts.com/cdn-cgi/image/format=auto,onerror=redirect,width=1920,height=192 0,fit=scale-down/https://www.1911addicts.com/attachments/fb_img_1650145628116-jpg.973819/

[340pd]

https://media.gab.com/cdn-cgi/image/width=840,quality=100,fit=scale-down/system/media_attachments/files/104/381/856/original/e0fc8b46c2612c08.jpg

[King Rat]

Due to the climate of political correctness now pervading America , Kentuckians, Tennesseans, North Carolinans and West Virginians will no longer be referred to as 'HILLBILLIES' and/or 'REDNECKS".

You must now refer to them as APPALACHIAN-AMERICANS.

And furthermore, HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT WOMEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT:



1. She is not a 'BABE' or a 'CHICK' - She is a
BREASTED AMERICAN. '

2. She is not 'EASY' - She is 'HORIZONTALLY ACCESSIBLE.'

3. She is not a 'DUMB BLONDE' - She is a
'LIGHT-HAIRED DETOUR OFF THE INFORMATION SUPERHIGHWAY.'

4. She has not 'BEEN AROUND' - She is a
'PREVIOUSLY-ENJOYED COMPANION.'

5. She does not 'NAG' you - She becomes
'VERBALLY REPETITIVE.'

6. She is not a 'TWO-BIT HOOKER' - She is a 'LOW-COST PROVIDER.'

HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT MEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT:

1. He does not have a 'BEER GUT' - He has developed a 'LIQUID GRAIN STORAGE FACILITY.'

2. He is not a 'BAD DANCER' - He is 'OVERLY CAUCASIAN.'

3.. He does not 'GET LOST ALL THE TIME' - He
'INVESTIGATES ALTERNATIVE DESTINATIONS.'

4. He is not 'BALDING' - He is in 'FOLLICLE REGRESSION.'

5. He does not act like a 'TOTAL ASS' - He develops a case of 'RECTAL-CRANIAL INVERSION.'

6. It's not his 'CRACK' you see hanging out of his pants - It's 'TROUSER CLEAVAGE.'








She is NOT a whacked out idiot, a Prostitute, a moron that talks like a middle school brat or a laughing, brainless, obnoxious Hyena.
She is the Vice President of the United states.

[Bawanna]

Yup. And what does that say about the people that voted for her and her Ahlzeimers patient pimp?

[Armybrat]

https://media.gab.com/cdn-cgi/image/width=840,quality=100,fit=scale-down/system/media_attachments/files/104/381/856/original/e0fc8b46c2612c08.jpg

Good to see Jocko again.

[dustnchips]

https://scontent-mia3-2.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t39.30808-6/278801232_351573277018409_1312087606216262049_n.jp g?stp=dst-jpg_p526x296&_nc_cat=1&ccb=1-5&_nc_sid=8bfeb9&_nc_ohc=l6Ic6xd8uMgAX8fZboA&_nc_ht=scontent-mia3-2.xx&oh=00_AT9YXo-lpRFHdfLWt6KNn0VFOveyfXYzvZP7mwuezlWXuQ&oe=6262351D

[340pd]

https://www.1911addicts.com/cdn-cgi/image/format=auto,onerror=redirect,width=1920,height=192 0,fit=scale-down/https://www.1911addicts.com/attachments/******-jpg.974663/

[dustnchips]

https://scontent-mia3-2.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t39.30808-6/278712184_556446225838681_1958220555707167972_n.jp g?stp=dst-jpg_p526x296&_nc_cat=1&ccb=1-5&_nc_sid=8bfeb9&_nc_ohc=1-yBfnMdLpAAX92qkuX&tn=6wkPw99ysL0OhjTM&_nc_ht=scontent-mia3-2.xx&oh=00_AT8kWRUZA8qvE_ELflM9JpiTZ4B7XNTrGkodJAI_f6H_ cQ&oe=62634038

[Armybrat]

....

[340pd]

https://www.1911addicts.com/cdn-cgi/image/format=auto,onerror=redirect,width=1920,height=192 0,fit=scale-down/https://www.1911addicts.com/attachments/ezgif-3-a8b91932ca-jpg.975286/

[340pd]

https://www.1911addicts.com/cdn-cgi/image/format=auto,onerror=redirect,width=1920,height=192 0,fit=scale-down/https://www.1911addicts.com/attachments/1650333296579-png.975861/

[Armybrat]

No leaks, so good to go. Lol

[GROTMAN]

ALL THESE CAR PICS LATELY MADE ME DECIDE TO DRESS MINE UP A LITTLE. MUST HAVE DONE A PRETTY GOOD JOB BASED ON ALL THE LOOKS I GET WHEN DRIVING IT!!:rolleyes:
https://www.ncgunowners.com/xf/attachments/fqazgtlwuamtyn-jpg.11355/

[Bawanna]

That's awesome! You got talent!

[BirdsThaWord]

That’s hot! I notice you used the “Twice as strong” components. High dollar stuff. You must be a baller! :photo:
Also, since you used the 200 mph mounting system, it looks easy enough to return to factory stock in case you ever want to sell and appeal to a purist! :biggrin1:

[dao]

I've heard of 20 foot paint jobs. That there is a 50 foot body job. Or a nighttime viewing with a strong light on the other side of the car from your vantage point. Still, points for realism :D

I especially like the closable exhaust port.

[getsome]

Grot you murdered it with the lower body aero kit but if I were you I would replace the rear spoiler with an ironing board screwed down to the trunk with cable clamps which would be adjustable in height and will provide the down force you’re looking for to plant that beast down to the track at high speed……

[Planedude]

Time, Texans and a roll of duct tape... I'm guessing there were a few beers involved too.

Peace

[Bawanna]

Aww duct tape, I'm reminded of the time I duct taped a new useless worker on his first day inside a porta potty and left him. Very hot and he was in there 4 or 5 hours before another trade (dirt workers) showed up and heard him crying...........

[340pd]

https://www.1911addicts.com/cdn-cgi/image/format=auto,onerror=redirect,width=1920,height=192 0,fit=scale-down/https://www.1911addicts.com/attachments/screenshot_20220420-204709_opera-jpg.976697/

[dustnchips]

https://scontent-mia3-2.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t1.6435-9/175554981_4159384914112509_5789230460519085750_n.j pg?_nc_cat=110&ccb=1-5&_nc_sid=730e14&_nc_ohc=PXlV1I-bINoAX_9TZwt&_nc_ht=scontent-mia3-2.xx&oh=00_AT9ikHkmbewE4ZontebxXhKVhG59j-9291RU66Bg4fw2Tw&oe=6285CFED

[JohnR]

It’s a good day today!

18875

[BirdsThaWord]

It’s a good day today!
Agreed!

[jeepster09]

Ah the wishing well comes through.....

[Armybrat]

Back in my bachelor days I’da ridden either one.

[340pd]

https://www.1911addicts.com/cdn-cgi/image/format=auto,onerror=redirect,width=1920,height=192 0,fit=scale-down/https://www.1911addicts.com/attachments/1650676551275-png.978027/

[Armybrat]

Max was abandoned by the Russians and “captured” by the Ukraines...

[jeepster09]

......

[JohnR]

That is sick and disgusting!

And I can’t stop laughing.

[wyntrout]

Gary Larson is one of the best cartoonists. The Far Side is a terrific comic. I think he retired, but his stuff is still very popular!

Wikipedia:
Gary Larson (born August 14, 1950) is an American cartoonist (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cartoonist), environmentalist (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Environmentalist), and former musician. He is the creator of The Far Side (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Far_Side), a single-panel cartoon series that was syndicated internationally to more than 1,900 newspapers for fifteen years.[1] (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gary_Larson#cite_note-wild-1) The series ended with Larson's retirement on January 1, 1995. In September 2019, his website alluded to a "new online era of The Far Side".[2] (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gary_Larson#cite_note-2) On July 8, 2020, Larson released three new comics, his first in 25 years.[3] (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gary_Larson#cite_note-nyt2020-3) His twenty-three books of collected cartoons have combined sales of more than forty-five million copies.[1] (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gary_Larson#cite_note-wild-1)

[JohnR]

His cartoons were some of the few that I actually found funny.

[dustnchips]

https://scontent-mia3-2.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t39.30808-6/278998137_296101776038261_8826366167126976873_n.jp g?stp=dst-jpg_p526x296&_nc_cat=1&ccb=1-5&_nc_sid=730e14&_nc_ohc=d_TNnR4RjTIAX9tyeG3&_nc_ht=scontent-mia3-2.xx&oh=00_AT-EMTyw-efWAcgps4TFHRNEp0Vta65u8WQM5uoez79d3A&oe=626C3494

[dustnchips]

https://scontent-mia3-1.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t39.30808-6/279141734_3307477472838892_4026099193842349092_n.j pg?stp=dst-jpg_p552x414&_nc_cat=104&ccb=1-5&_nc_sid=8bfeb9&_nc_ohc=IFhVYhDa800AX-gA6-U&_nc_ht=scontent-mia3-1.xx&oh=00_AT_JPQBaw0nemw4SMV5clhO8ZCddET-H52cMBE55FU_uPA&oe=626B9342

[Armybrat]

A little real life humor...this actually happened in my extended family this weekend.

My nephew’s FIL came home yesterday - drove his SUV up the slightly inclined driveway and couldn’t take his foot off the gas pedal.
He drove through the garage door, hit the classic Mercedes-Benz parked inside, shoving it through the back wall into his newly remodeled kitchen.
The fridge wound up on the opposite wall by the sink, with the Mercedes occupying the fridge’s normal space. Another 15’ and the fridge would have landed in his swimming pool. 😂😂

(the gentleman was not hurt at all and is pretty well off So no financial hardship - he isn’t even going to tell his insurance carrier)

[Bawanna]

Damn I'm crying just reading about it.

[getsome]

My wife’s Uncle Jack was a really great guy and a WWII vet but he was a drinker who loved his vodka……One year he came to the family Christmas party late and since there were so many cars parked in the driveway and street he decided to park his late 60’s Olds Toronado in the front yard and somehow ran it up on a giant oak tree stump which Ray Charles would have seen and managed to high side the front wheels off the ground disabling the car…..He came in and found me knowing that I worked on cars and said there was something wrong with his transmission and would I look at it…….Somehow I kept a straight face when he started the car, put it in gear and mashed the gas spinning the front wheels…..Jack cut it off, got out and still didn’t realize what he had done……All I knew to say was, well it’s not the transmission, it seems to be working fine……..The tow truck driver came and winched it off the stump and didn’t bat an eye, said he had seen much worse……….

[dao]

Before my son had ever been behind the wheel of a car I asked him to move my Tahoe out of the garage. He didn't want to but I insisted he'd be fine. At the back of my garage there is a wall which separates the garage from a room behind the wall. When he shifted out of park he pulled down too far and put in in drive. Of course the truck started rolling forward toward the wall which was only a few feet away. I more or less panicked. I was standing beside the truck and said "hit the brake, hit the brake". Well the poor kid didn't know the difference between the brake and the gas, and so with a 50/50 chance he picked the wrong one. Truck shot forward and pushed the wall into the other room. It did stop, because he was smart enough to know if the pedal he was pushing didn't stop the truck it must be the other brake pedal. I managed to find my inner calm and asked him to put it in park, which he did. I backed the truck out of the garage after that. Being that I had worked in construction for so long in my former life I demo'd the wall, rebuilt everything and finished it myself. I did learn that it was a good thing I had never sought work as a driving instructor. Though a few years later I did teach both my kids how to drive, just as I had taught them how to ride a bike. But to be perfectly safe we followed up my instruction with driving school for both of them. They're accident free to this day. Though it's likely no thanks to me. He's now 24 and my daughter is 25. I've never blamed him because it wasn't his fault. And so to this day we both get a good chuckle out of the story when we retell it to others.

[Bawanna]

Any pictures of the daughter?

[wyntrout]

https://scontent-atl3-1.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t39.30808-6/278768170_1167158444032352_8981392068107594275_n.j pg?_nc_cat=104&ccb=1-5&_nc_sid=5cd70e&_nc_ohc=Rxfhu7eZ6hoAX9-Wa71&_nc_ht=scontent-atl3-1.xx&oh=00_AT8kmxn-voCyfbkybfajsOvMtF1hOeYXWcUqwdT-egGVzQ&oe=626D1492

[BirdsThaWord]

Any pictures of the daughter?
Man you crack me up!
18891

[getsome]

Took me a good 2 minutes to see that correctly when my eyes uncrossed but I like the first view a lot better…….Just sayin

[Bawanna]

I still just see a lamp but I'll keep looking.

[getsome]

Well that’s probably a good thing because tonight in my dreams I’m going to be thinking about why I can’t find the switch to turn on the lamp….

[dao]

Here you old goats. Fast forward to 19:45 on this (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QtsqdLNRp0o)video. And no, that's not my daughter.

[BirdsThaWord]

Forkin ice holes, took me a full 2 minutes to see that correctly when my eyes uncrossed but I like the first view a lot better…….Just sayin
You and me both! Once I saw the lamp I was rather dissapointed :(

[340pd]

https://www.1911addicts.com/cdn-cgi/image/format=auto,onerror=redirect,width=1920,height=192 0,fit=scale-down/https://www.1911addicts.com/attachments/ezgif-3-469391f5f0-jpg.980260/

[340pd]

https://www.1911addicts.com/cdn-cgi/image/format=auto,onerror=redirect,width=1920,height=192 0,fit=scale-down/https://www.1911addicts.com/attachments/1650939411069-png.980282/

[340pd]

https://www.1911addicts.com/cdn-cgi/image/format=auto,onerror=redirect,width=1920,height=192 0,fit=scale-down/https://www.1911addicts.com/attachments/9jrd1hz_jpeg-2361414-jpg.980094/

[340pd]

https://www.1911addicts.com/cdn-cgi/image/format=auto,onerror=redirect,width=1920,height=192 0,fit=scale-down/https://www.1911addicts.com/attachments/1650928654473-png.980127/

[JohnR]

https://www.1911addicts.com/cdn-cgi/image/format=auto,onerror=redirect,width=1920,height=192 0,fit=scale-down/https://www.1911addicts.com/attachments/1650928654473-png.980127/

That's awesome.

[BirdsThaWord]

18892

[jeepster09]

.....

[jeepster09]

Spring is coming....GET READY.

[JohnR]

https://c.tenor.com/24E8BcKULYAAAAAC/tenor.gif

[Bawanna]

Eye Bleach!

[GROTMAN]

https://www.ncgunowners.com/xf/attachments/1650240272271-png.11369/

[getsome]

Spring is coming....GET READY.




Why hasn’t someone rolled that back in the ocean………

[Barth]

I drop by for a quick look see and immediately go blind :2eek:

[340pd]

https://www.1911addicts.com/cdn-cgi/image/format=auto,onerror=redirect,width=1920,height=192 0,fit=scale-down/https://www.1911addicts.com/attachments/screenshot_20220427-014317_opera-jpg.980985/

[340pd]

https://www.1911addicts.com/cdn-cgi/image/format=auto,onerror=redirect,width=1920,height=192 0,fit=scale-down/https://www.1911addicts.com/attachments/1650993929397-png.980589/

[340pd]

https://www.1911addicts.com/cdn-cgi/image/format=auto,onerror=redirect,width=1920,height=192 0,fit=scale-down/https://www.1911addicts.com/attachments/14n-2fh9yy_t3-jpg.980430/

[Bawanna]

https://www.1911addicts.com/cdn-cgi/image/format=auto,onerror=redirect,width=1920,height=192 0,fit=scale-down/https://www.1911addicts.com/attachments/1650993929397-png.980589/

My oh my, what a beautiful picture that is. Make my britches stick out in front.

[jeepster09]

Three Tests
A man walks into a bar, notices a very large jar on the counter and sees that it's filled to the brim with $10 bills.

He guesses there must be at least ten thousand dollars in it. He approaches the bartender and asks, "What's with the money in the jar?"

"Well..., you pay $10, and if you pass three tests, you get all the money in the jar and the keys to a brand new Lexus"

The man certainly isn't going to pass this up, so he asks, "What are the three tests?"

"You gotta pay first," says the bartender, "those are the rules."

So, after thinking it over a while, the man gives the bartender $10 which he stuffs into the jar.

"Okay," says the bartender, "here's what you need to do:

First - You have to drink a whole quart of tequila, in 60 seconds or less, and you can't make a face while doing it."

"Second - There's a pit bull chained in the back with a bad tooth. You have to remove that tooth with your bare hands."

"Third - There's a 90-year old lady upstairs who's never had sex. You have to take care of that problem."

The man is stunned! "I know I paid my $10 -- but I'm not an idiot! I won't do it! You'd have to be nuts to drink a quart of tequila and then do all those other things!"

"Your call," says the bartender, "but, your money stays where it is."

As time goes on, the man has a few more drinks and finally says, "Where's the damn tequila?!"

He grabs the bottle with both hands and drinks it as fast as he can.

Tears stream down both cheeks -- but he doesn't make a face -- and he drinks it in 58 seconds!

Next, he staggers out the back door where he sees the pit bull chained to a pole.

Soon, the people inside the bar hear loud growling, screaming, and sounds of a terrible fight -- then nothing but silence!

Just when they think that the man surely must be dead, he staggers back into the bar.

His clothes are ripped to shreds and he's bleeding from bites and gashes all over his body.

He drunkenly says, "Now..., where's that old woman with the bad tooth?”

[jeepster09]

.....

[Bawanna]

For those that recently inquired, I just got an email response from Greg. He's alive and doing fine. Fires in his area are a ways off and not concerned. Illegals fairly distant also so for now all is well. It was good to hear from him. Miss him around here, smartest man alive on most gun stuff and probably other stuff too.

[dao]

Thanks for the update Colonel!

[GROTMAN]

GLAD GREG IS DOING OK. WAS STARTING TO WONDER IF MAYBE HE RAN OFF WITH AIRET AND THE CONVICT WHOM WE ALSO HAVE NOT HEARD FROM FOR AWHILE. :rolleyes:

[JohnR]

Jocko?

[340pd]

https://www.1911addicts.com/cdn-cgi/image/format=auto,onerror=redirect,width=1920,height=192 0,fit=scale-down/https://www.1911addicts.com/attachments/1651168754759-png.981974/

[340pd]

https://www.1911addicts.com/cdn-cgi/image/format=auto,onerror=redirect,width=1920,height=192 0,fit=scale-down/https://www.1911addicts.com/attachments/14n-2fkumu_t3-jpg.981889/

[jeepster09]

Jocko is very jealous.....

[jeepster09]

Cougars are hot.....and dangerous. :target:

[Armybrat]

...

[jeepster09]

.......

[Ken L]

^^Friend of mine did that with an empty 6-pack of beer. He put the cans back in the ring and glued it to the top of his car. He had it there for years, I think until the car got crushed.