January's Jests

[kenemoore]

https://external-content.duckduckgo.com/iu/?u=https%3A%2F%2Fi.imgflip.com%2F21vx98.jpg&f=1&nofb=1&ipt=99da878b8e2438d50aefa50050785e69eee9834ea0b9cd aac99a47c39d050ab9&ipo=images

[jeepster09]

.......

[340pd]

https://www.1911addicts.com/cdn-cgi/image/format=auto,onerror=redirect,width=1920,height=192 0,fit=scale-down/https://www.1911addicts.com/attachments/fluy6h-x0auqpku-jpeg-jpg.1163900/

[340pd]

https://www.1911addicts.com/cdn-cgi/image/format=auto,onerror=redirect,width=1920,height=192 0,fit=scale-down/https://www.1911addicts.com/attachments/1672538215237-png.1163749/

[yqtszhj]

https://www.1911addicts.com/cdn-cgi/image/format=auto,onerror=redirect,width=1920,height=192 0,fit=scale-down/https://www.1911addicts.com/attachments/1672538215237-png.1163749/

I can relate to that right there. It is exactly where I am at this point in my life.

[jeepster09]

.......

[340pd]

https://www.1911addicts.com/cdn-cgi/image/format=auto,onerror=redirect,width=1920,height=192 0,fit=scale-down/https://www.1911addicts.com/attachments/ezgif-1-56ce2f6950-jpg.1165266/

[340pd]

https://www.1911addicts.com/cdn-cgi/image/format=auto,onerror=redirect,width=1920,height=192 0,fit=scale-down/https://www.1911addicts.com/attachments/1672759751135-png.1165465/

[Armybrat]

A woman goes to the Doctor, worried about her husband's temper.

The Doctor asks: "What's the problem?"

The woman says: "Doctor, I don't know what to do. Every day my husband seems to lose his temper for no reason. It scares me."

The Doctor says: "I have a cure for that. When it seems that your husband is getting angry, just take a glass of water and start swishing it in your mouth. Just swish and swish but don't swallow it until he either leaves the room or calms down."

Two weeks later the woman comes back to the doctor looking fresh and reborn.

The woman says: "Doctor that was a brilliant idea! Every time my husband started losing it, I swished with water. I swished and swished, and he calmed right down! How does a glass of water do that?"

The Doctor says: "The water itself does nothing. It's keeping your mouth shut that does the trick".

[jeepster09]

.........

[Bawanna]

Good plan!

[jeepster09]

.....

[GROTMAN]

https://th.bing.com/th/id/OIP.KQqgG5AheX_de30KRatOPQHaHL?pid=ImgDet&rs=1

[340pd]

https://www.1911addicts.com/cdn-cgi/image/format=auto,onerror=redirect,width=1920,height=192 0,fit=scale-down/https://www.1911addicts.com/attachments/screenshot_20230104_193504_opera-jpg.1166913/

[340pd]

https://www.1911addicts.com/cdn-cgi/image/format=auto,onerror=redirect,width=1920,height=192 0,fit=scale-down/https://www.1911addicts.com/attachments/fllpvfwx0ai-kts-jpeg-jpg.1166783/

[340pd]

https://www.1911addicts.com/cdn-cgi/image/format=auto,onerror=redirect,width=1920,height=192 0,fit=scale-down/https://www.1911addicts.com/attachments/fllpvfwx0ai-kts-jpeg-jpg.1166783/

[340pd]

https://www.1911addicts.com/cdn-cgi/image/format=auto,onerror=redirect,width=1920,height=192 0,fit=scale-down/https://www.1911addicts.com/attachments/xtvtvdownload-1-png.1166818/

[340pd]

https://www.1911addicts.com/cdn-cgi/image/format=auto,onerror=redirect,width=1920,height=192 0,fit=scale-down/https://www.1911addicts.com/attachments/overflow-010422-jpg.1166574/

[340pd]

https://www.1911addicts.com/cdn-cgi/image/format=auto,onerror=redirect,width=1920,height=192 0,fit=scale-down/https://www.1911addicts.com/attachments/1672863228361-png.1166565/

[kenemoore]

The difference between Guts and Balls.

Guts is coming home steaming, seeing your wife with a broom in her hand and asking if she's still cleaning, or if she's about to fly away on it.

Balls is coming home smelling of perfume, lipstick on your collar, slapping your wife on the ass and saying "your next fatty".

[Armybrat]

Actually, that’s the difference between crazy and dead.

[getsome]

Yep

[340pd]

https://www.1911addicts.com/cdn-cgi/image/format=auto,onerror=redirect,width=1920,height=192 0,fit=scale-down/https://www.1911addicts.com/attachments/1672958310412-png.1167456/

[340pd]

https://www.1911addicts.com/cdn-cgi/image/format=auto,onerror=redirect,width=1920,height=192 0,fit=scale-down/https://www.1911addicts.com/attachments/1672953025178-png.1167362/

[Bawanna]

Is that Jocko?

[AJBert]

https://www.1911addicts.com/cdn-cgi/image/format=auto,onerror=redirect,width=1920,height=192 0,fit=scale-down/https://www.1911addicts.com/attachments/1672958310412-png.1167456/

Xeleventybillion!!!

[getsome]

https://www.1911addicts.com/cdn-cgi/image/format=auto,onerror=redirect,width=1920,height=192 0,fit=scale-down/https://www.1911addicts.com/attachments/1672953025178-png.1167362/

I thought it looked like the old coot too along with his little grandson Baaaaaaaarny or “Barn” as he is known by his friends for some reason…….:p

[jeepster09]

G-d Wanted Balance

.
God was missing for six days. Eventually, Michael, the archangel, found him, resting on the seventh. He inquired, --- "Where have you been?"

God smiled deeply and proudly pointed downwards through the clouds,---- "Look, Michael. Look what I've made."

Archangel Michael looked puzzled, and said, ---- "What is it?"

"It's a planet," --- replied God, --- and I've put life on it. I'm going to call it Earth and it's going to be a place to test 'Balance."

"Balance?" --- inquired Michael, ---- "I'm still confused."

God explained, pointing to different parts of Earth..."

For example, northern Europe will be a place of great opportunity and wealth, while southern Europe is going to be poor... Over here I've placed a continent of white people, and over there is a continent of black people. Balance in all things..."

God continued pointing to different countries... "This one will be extremely hot, while this one will be very cold and covered in ice."

The Archangel, impressed by God's work, then pointed to a land area and said, "What's that one?"

"That's Florida, the most glorious place on earth. There are beautiful trees and gardens, it's surrounded by water, and days filled with sunshine. The people from Florida are going to be handsome, modest, intelligent, and humorous, and they are going to travel the world. They will be extremely sociable, hardworking, high achieving, carriers of peace, and producers of good things.

Michael gasped in wonder and admiration, but then asked, "But what about balance, God? You said there would be 'balance."

God smiled an all-knowing smile…"I will create California…Wait till you see the idiots I'll put there."

[jeepster09]

.....

[BirdsThaWord]

https://www.1911addicts.com/cdn-cgi/image/format=auto,onerror=redirect,width=1920,height=192 0,fit=scale-down/https://www.1911addicts.com/attachments/overflow-010422-jpg.1166574/
awesome!!!

[GROTMAN]

https://www.ncgunowners.com/xf/attachments/5-jpg.15387/

[340pd]

https://www.1911addicts.com/cdn-cgi/image/format=auto,onerror=redirect,width=1920,height=192 0,fit=scale-down/https://www.1911addicts.com/attachments/welder_gift_jpg-2664694-jpg.1169395/

[340pd]

https://www.1911addicts.com/cdn-cgi/image/format=auto,onerror=redirect,width=1920,height=192 0,fit=scale-down/https://www.1911addicts.com/attachments/1673136938141-png.1169182/

[340pd]

https://www.1911addicts.com/cdn-cgi/image/format=auto,onerror=redirect,width=1920,height=192 0,fit=scale-down/https://www.1911addicts.com/attachments/screenshot_20230107_210807_opera-jpg.1169285/

[340pd]

https://www.1911addicts.com/cdn-cgi/image/format=auto,onerror=redirect,width=1920,height=192 0,fit=scale-down/https://www.1911addicts.com/attachments/a11v-2qhbo8_t3-jpg.1168600/

[GROTMAN]

IT TOOK ME AWHILE BUT FINALLY FIGURED OUT HOW TO DECIPHER JOCKOS TYPING..
https://pyxis.nymag.com/v1/imgs/f5e/963/9afdc8b3cca9297b9785c3d2e67bd738af-15-crazywalls-beautifulmind.h375.jpg

[jeepster09]

.........

[getsome]

Digging for treasure is a good thing……

[jeepster09]

,,,,,,

[340pd]

https://www.1911addicts.com/cdn-cgi/image/format=auto,onerror=redirect,width=1920,height=192 0,fit=scale-down/https://www.1911addicts.com/attachments/11111111fl-ulwraeaadvbj_jpg-2666009-jpg.1170135/

[340pd]

https://www.1911addicts.com/cdn-cgi/image/format=auto,onerror=redirect,width=1920,height=192 0,fit=scale-down/https://www.1911addicts.com/attachments/1673223220814-png.1169932/

[jeepster09]

.....

[JohnR]

That’s my wife.

[getsome]

My wife will only watch British murder porn on TV and thinks I have a problem because I only watch Hotrod Garage shows…….I have to ask which is more normal, watching some English chick getting her throat cut or guys installing a 600 HP LS crate motor in a 69 GTO Judge?……..Just sayin

[jeepster09]

........

[jeepster09]

Mohammad
Eight year old Mohammad entered his classroom on the first day of school.
"What's your name?" asked the teacher.
"Mohammad," he replied.
"You're in Ireland now," replied the teacher, "So from now on you will be known as Mike”.
Mohammad returned home after school.
"How was your day, Mohammad?" his mother asked.
"My name is not Mohammad. I'm in Ireland and now my name is Mike”.
"Are you ashamed of your name? Are you trying to dishonor your parents, your heritage, your religion? Shame on you!"
And his mother beat him severely. Then she called his father, who beat the stuffing out of him again.
The next day Mohammad returned to school. The teacher saw all of his fresh bruises.
"What happened to you, Mike?" she asked.
"Well shortly after becoming an Irishman, I was attacked by two Muslims."

[yqtszhj]

My wife will only watch British murder porn on TV and thinks I have a problem because I only watch Hotrod Garage shows…….I have to ask which is more normal, watching some English chick getting her throat cut or guys installing a 600 HP LS crate motor in a 69 GTO Judge?……..Just sayin

I tell you, the British made some dark crime shows for tv. I think if they were allowed guns they could limit all those slashers running around.

[jeepster09]

......

[340pd]

https://www.1911addicts.com/cdn-cgi/image/format=auto,onerror=redirect,width=1920,height=192 0,fit=scale-down/https://www.1911addicts.com/attachments/003_jpg-2667012-jpg.1170753/

[340pd]

https://www.1911addicts.com/cdn-cgi/image/format=auto,onerror=redirect,width=1920,height=192 0,fit=scale-down/https://www.1911addicts.com/attachments/fl9qezbwqae9hdt-jpeg-jpg.1170428/

[340pd]

https://www.1911addicts.com/cdn-cgi/image/format=auto,onerror=redirect,width=1920,height=192 0,fit=scale-down/https://www.1911addicts.com/attachments/1673412189710-png.1171661/

[340pd]

https://www.1911addicts.com/cdn-cgi/image/format=auto,onerror=redirect,width=1920,height=192 0,fit=scale-down/https://www.1911addicts.com/attachments/screenshot_20230111_030931_opera-jpg.1171673/

[340pd]

https://www.1911addicts.com/cdn-cgi/image/format=auto,onerror=redirect,width=1920,height=192 0,fit=scale-down/https://www.1911addicts.com/attachments/img63b442e94ec6f-jpg.1170981/

[340pd]

https://www.1911addicts.com/cdn-cgi/image/format=auto,onerror=redirect,width=1920,height=192 0,fit=scale-down/https://www.1911addicts.com/attachments/539f649c668decc7d7eda7a89efcd0fb-jpg.1172237/

[340pd]

https://www.1911addicts.com/cdn-cgi/image/format=auto,onerror=redirect,width=1920,height=192 0,fit=scale-down/https://www.1911addicts.com/attachments/img_8378-jpg.1172247/

[GROTMAN]

https://www.ncgunowners.com/xf/attachments/2-jpg.15410/

[Armybrat]

Here’s an old one:

[GROTMAN]

https://www.ncgunowners.com/xf/attachments/2-jpg.15422/

[340pd]

https://www.1911addicts.com/cdn-cgi/image/format=auto,onerror=redirect,width=1920,height=192 0,fit=scale-down/https://www.1911addicts.com/attachments/1673610119986-png.1173292/

[jeepster09]

.....

[dao]

https://www.1911addicts.com/cdn-cgi/image/format=auto,onerror=redirect,width=1920,height=192 0,fit=scale-down/https://www.1911addicts.com/attachments/1673610119986-png.1173292/

That's cool. I have no idea how brass would sound in a mobile, but if it's nice tone a person could make some money making wind chimes with them.

[Bawanna]

I suspect they are way to thick and heavy. Would blow around fine and could certainly look cool but would have to add something around them to get any chime out of them. Good idea though.

[Ken L]

Great idea, especially since most of us who reload are waiting for primers.

[Armybrat]

…..

[jeepster09]

.......

[340pd]

https://www.1911addicts.com/cdn-cgi/image/format=auto,onerror=redirect,width=1920,height=192 0,fit=scale-down/https://www.1911addicts.com/attachments/7sn-2rpxsd_t3-jpg.1176305/

[340pd]

https://www.1911addicts.com/cdn-cgi/image/format=auto,onerror=redirect,width=1920,height=192 0,fit=scale-down/https://www.1911addicts.com/attachments/on_the_plus_side-jpg.1175588/

[340pd]

https://www.1911addicts.com/cdn-cgi/image/format=auto,onerror=redirect,width=1920,height=192 0,fit=scale-down/https://www.1911addicts.com/attachments/screenshot_20230114_174115_opera-jpg.1175546/

[340pd]

https://www.1911addicts.com/cdn-cgi/image/format=auto,onerror=redirect,width=1920,height=192 0,fit=scale-down/https://www.1911addicts.com/attachments/5bq-2rnd8g_t3-jpg.1175512/

[340pd]

https://www.1911addicts.com/cdn-cgi/image/format=auto,onerror=redirect,width=1920,height=192 0,fit=scale-down/https://www.1911addicts.com/attachments/1673954639421-png.1177199/

[340pd]

https://www.1911addicts.com/cdn-cgi/image/format=auto,onerror=redirect,width=1920,height=192 0,fit=scale-down/https://www.1911addicts.com/attachments/1673887668849-png.1176481/

[Bawanna]

https://www.1911addicts.com/cdn-cgi/image/format=auto,onerror=redirect,width=1920,height=192 0,fit=scale-down/https://www.1911addicts.com/attachments/1673954639421-png.1177199/

And yet most of us have still survived.

[jeepster09]

This one may just be deadlier.....

[Bawanna]

I can relate. Drove my leg into the @#!@$@ thing in the power chair. BUT for the record I did NOT cry. Damn sure wanted to but that would be totally unmanly.

[AJBert]

Every time I wreck my shin/knee on the hitch I swear to myself I will take it off when not in use. Still swearing at myself, though. Haven't removed it yet.

[getsome]

The hitch thing can work both ways, I leave my 3 ball solid steel hitch on all the time and when a lady rear ended me at a red light it crushed the bumper on her little Toyota but hardly scratched the hitch on my truck…..I asked her if she wanted to call the police but she declined and drove away………A little flat black spray paint and the Chevy is all good…….Merica…….

[BirdsThaWord]

The hitch thing can work both ways, I leave my 3 ball solid steel hitch on all the time and when a lady rear ended me at a red light it crushed the bumper on her little Toyota but hardly scratched the hitch on my truck…..I asked her if she wanted to call the police but she declined and drove away………Merica…….
Nice! Wouldn’t have been worth it to deal with otherwise. Worked out well for both of you.

[Armybrat]

‘Murica….. one stop shopping. ;)
(My favorite FFL only 5 minutes from the house)

[Armybrat]

Dang it! Upside down again! :mad:

[Bawanna]

Rightful I hope.

[Armybrat]

Thanks - wouldn’t want to see all that hootch from downstairs flood the ffl

[340pd]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sjyCofcTMqk&t=13s

[GROTMAN]

Medical Term
Redneck Definition​
Artery
The study of paintings
Bacteria
Back door to cafeteria
Barium
What doctors do when patients die
Benign
What you be, after you be eight
Caesarean Section
A neighborhood in Rome
Cat scan
Searching for Kitty
Cauterize
Made eye contact with her
Colic
A sheep dog
Coma
A punctuation mark
Dilate
To live long
Enema
Not a friend
Fester
Quicker than someone else
Fibula
A small lie
Impotent
Distinguished, well known
Labor Pain
Getting hurt at work
Medical Staff
A Doctor's cane
Morbid
A higher offer
Nitrates
Rates of Pay for Working at Night,
Normally more money than Days
Node
I knew it
Outpatient
A person who has fainted
Pelvis
Second cousin to Elvis
Post Operative
A letter carrier
Recovery Room
Place to do upholstery
Rectum
Nearly killed him
Secretion
Hiding something
Seizure
Roman Emperor
Tablet
A small table
Terminal Illness
Getting sick at the airport
Tumor
One plus one more
Urine
Opposite of you're out

[Armybrat]

…..….

[340pd]

https://www.1911addicts.com/cdn-cgi/image/format=auto,onerror=redirect,width=1920,height=192 0,fit=scale-down/https://www.1911addicts.com/attachments/1674077429928-png.1178563/

[Ken L]

Funniest thing that I saw so far this month is that Alec Baldwin has been charged with Involuntary Manslaughter.

[Bawanna]

Happy to see it myself. Not sure that's the correct charge, but there is not crime for being stupid. I didn't quite understand the article that said he was practicing his crossdraw. And said crossdraw is very dangerous.?????

The armorer truly dropped the ball. The director or whoever handed him the gun and then announced cold gun when it obviously wasn't. It goes on and on.

[340pd]

https://www.1911addicts.com/cdn-cgi/image/format=auto,onerror=redirect,width=1920,height=192 0,fit=scale-down/https://www.1911addicts.com/attachments/1674151481391-png.1179584/

[Armybrat]

Dodge = Dead On De Goldanged Edge.

[Armybrat]

…….

[dao]

I'd have to agree with that ab.

[GROTMAN]

JEEPSTER... HE BELONG TO YOU?
https://i1.wp.com/bitsandpieces.us/wp-content/uploads/2020/02/Dont-start-with-me...3.jpg?w=630

[jeepster09]

........

[Armybrat]

Where’s my beer?

[jeepster09]

.......

[340pd]

https://www.1911addicts.com/cdn-cgi/image/format=auto,onerror=redirect,width=1920,height=192 0,fit=scale-down/https://www.1911addicts.com/attachments/1674310647303-png.1180684/

[340pd]

https://www.1911addicts.com/cdn-cgi/image/format=auto,onerror=redirect,width=1920,height=192 0,fit=scale-down/https://www.1911addicts.com/attachments/screenshot_20230120_160329_opera-jpg.1180521/

[340pd]

https://www.1911addicts.com/cdn-cgi/image/format=auto,onerror=redirect,width=1920,height=192 0,fit=scale-down/https://www.1911addicts.com/attachments/1674265758230-png.1180476/

[jeepster09]

........

[tokuno]

........
Oh, Jeepster, you GOTTA listen to this:
https://youtu.be/z6SEejiPXns
Had me almost rolling on the floor the first time I caught it; bad thing too, 'cause I was driving to the office at the time . . .

[jeepster09]

Lol.....to funny!:yo:

[340pd]

https://www.1911addicts.com/cdn-cgi/image/format=auto,onerror=redirect,width=1920,height=192 0,fit=scale-down/https://www.1911addicts.com/attachments/1674399426130-png.1181527/

[340pd]

https://www.1911addicts.com/cdn-cgi/image/format=auto,onerror=redirect,width=1920,height=192 0,fit=scale-down/https://www.1911addicts.com/attachments/1674324998065-png.1180921/

[jeepster09]

......

[jeepster09]

.......

[Armybrat]

This is really cool - a dog-walking company in Skagway, Alaska picks up dogs on a bus….

https://twitter.com/WUTangKids/status/1615814075870752768?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw%7Ctwcamp%5 Etweetembed%7Ctwterm%5E1615814075870752768%7Ctwgr% 5E0603fdd125dae61b0b684325b65f8ad12d1ea9bf%7Ctwcon %5Es1_&ref_url=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.surlyhorns.com%2Fboard%2 Findex.php%3Fapp%3Dcoremodule%3Dsystemcontroller%3 Dembedurl%3Dhttps%3A%2F%2Ftwitter.com%2FWUTangKids %2Fstatus%2F1615814075870752768%3Ft%3DBks1t4dPPJuI Frp-mR2v7g26s%3D19

[yqtszhj]

Oh, Jeepster, you GOTTA listen to this:
https://youtu.be/z6SEejiPXns
Had me almost rolling on the floor the first time I caught it; bad thing too, 'cause I was driving to the office at the time . . .

Oh man, that hit close to home. That guy imitated my wife telling a joke or story exactly. And she gets mad when my mind wanders while she is trying to tell me something. I don’t dare interrupt or break in and ask what’s the point.

[JohnR]

You mean it’s not just me? It takes SWMBO so long to finish a sentence, I’ve forgotten how it started.

[jeepster09]

....

[getsome]

You mean you are still listening? Just nod and say yep that’s a great idea honey, we should do that and pretty soon she will forget all about whatever it was you were talking about because she won……..

[yqtszhj]

You mean you are still listening? Just nod and say yep that’s a great idea honey, we should do that and pretty soon she will forget all about whatever it was you were talking about because she won……..

I used to do that and she figured it out. Now she ask me a question at the end. I think it’s a test.

[getsome]

Rut Ro, you mean they know about that…..….Now I wonder what the hell I’ve agreed to and don’t remember……

[340pd]

https://www.1911addicts.com/cdn-cgi/image/format=auto,onerror=redirect,width=1920,height=192 0,fit=scale-down/https://www.1911addicts.com/attachments/1674492242472-png.1182604/

[340pd]

https://www.1911addicts.com/cdn-cgi/image/format=auto,onerror=redirect,width=1920,height=192 0,fit=scale-down/https://www.1911addicts.com/attachments/1674522742610-png.1183013/

[340pd]

https://www.yellowbullet.com/cdn-cgi/image/format=auto,onerror=redirect,width=1920,height=192 0,fit=scale-down/https://www.yellowbullet.com/attachments/0f289ccf-a341-4ebe-956a-6992408d5b1d-jpeg.445033/

[Armybrat]

……..

[jeepster09]

New wagon for the kiddos...

[Armybrat]

😅😅😅😅

[Armybrat]

The wife made some excellent beef stir fry this afternoon…

[Bawanna]

Does look scrumptious, and a nice shot with the pistola. Gotta love a single action revolver.

[Armybrat]

That was to insure that she wouldn’t put the snow peas & carrots in my stir fry.

[Bawanna]

I can read subliminal messages. I'm thinking you're not fond of peas and carrots. Duly noted. (picture me hands on the wheels, backing away slowly)

[Armybrat]

Carrots are good in beef stew, but not in my stir fry. And snow peas…. Never, anywhere.

[340pd]

https://www.1911addicts.com/cdn-cgi/image/format=auto,onerror=redirect,width=1920,height=192 0,fit=scale-down/https://www.1911addicts.com/attachments/013_jpg-2684578-jpg.1184112/

[yqtszhj]

Carrota are good in beef stew, but not in my stir fry. And snow peas…. Never, anywhere.

Well said.

Edit:
And I hate half cooked squeaky chewing green beans.

[340pd]

https://www.1911addicts.com/cdn-cgi/image/format=auto,onerror=redirect,width=1920,height=192 0,fit=scale-down/https://www.1911addicts.com/attachments/1674609266616-png.1183907/

[JohnR]

^^^ Yes!!!

[berettabone]

That was to insure that she wouldn’t put the snow peas & carrots in my stir fry. Nice Ruger. Snow peas and carrots in the stir-fry is a must, even though I don't care much for the peas.

[berettabone]

Well said.

Edit:
And I hate half cooked squeaky chewing green beans. My wifey has southern roots, so every green bean must be cooked until the green is cooked out of them. Slow boil for a few hours at least.

[Bawanna]

My wife hates green beans, me and the grandkids love them. It's always funny the kids trying to make grandma eat the green beans. I like peas too. You guys think I'm weird?

Maybe I am weird. I love tomatoes, but I'm not fond of ketchup, and hate pizza sauce. Love pizza but go real easy on that red stuff.

[Bobshouse]

My wifey has southern roots, so every green bean must be cooked until the green is cooked out of them. Slow boil for a few hours at least.

What! You eat the outer green skin of a green bean? We cook'em and eat the little beans INSIDE the green bean and throw away the skin.

[Bawanna]

What! You eat the outer green skin of a green bean? We cook'em and eat the little beans INSIDE the green bean and throw away the skin.

Are you serious? We used to eat em right off the vine. Loved them that way. Mom used to have us break the big ones in half so apparently easier to cook, we ate a lot of the halves and sometimes both halves. Loved em.

[dao]

We'll buy green beans just to eat raw. They never see a knife or stove. Eat the whole thing but the stem.

Don't care for peas much, though I'll eat em if they're in front of me. You're not weird Colonel, you just know what you like and stick to it.

[Armybrat]

Didn’t mean to start a green bean controversy.
Mea culpa.

[jeepster09]

https://youtu.be/wEEuzUGEWws

Ahhh beans beans....

[yqtszhj]

My wife hates green beans, me and the grandkids love them. It's always funny the kids trying to make grandma eat the green beans. I like peas too. You guys think I'm weird?

Maybe I am weird. I love tomatoes, but I'm not fond of ketchup, and hate pizza sauce. Love pizza but go real easy on that red stuff.

Get the grandkids to hide a green bean under the mashed potatoes and see what happens.

I like well cooked green beans and like peas too. Also like tomatoes, tomato sauce, and lots of it. Wifey doesn’t like the red stuff too much. When she makes “dry” pasta and cuts me short on the sauce I always ask what I did to get punished.

[yqtszhj]

https://youtu.be/wEEuzUGEWws

Ahhh beans beans....

My youngest son planned to go to elementary school (1st grade I think) and for “show and tell” sing a US Navy song about the effects of marines eating beans on a submarine until my wife stopped him. He learned that song from my dad the sailor. She then made me go have a talk with dad about the quality of the songs he taught the kids. Party p00per.

[jeepster09]

I love it! I once went on a school bus field trip with my son, I think it may of been 2nd grade. He got the entire bus singing a song called Diarrhea.....his teacher sitting up front, glared at me.

[jeepster09]

.....

[340pd]

https://www.1911addicts.com/cdn-cgi/image/format=auto,onerror=redirect,width=1920,height=192 0,fit=scale-down/https://www.1911addicts.com/attachments/7jh-2s53_c_t3-jpg.1184844/

[JohnR]

Gotta keep that ankle monitor dry.

[340pd]

https://64.media.tumblr.com/262ffe6798515fdc5e2042634aa4d7fc/be196f6d0513b875-3f/s1280x1920/21232bdd579644e546275983bbffa8180ee3ddb9.jpg

[340pd]

https://i.ibb.co/9pVc2cz/28652.jpg

[IDisposable]

Digging for treasure is a good thing……Gold diggers, however, are not.

[jeepster09]

.......

[340pd]

https://www.1911addicts.com/cdn-cgi/image/format=auto,onerror=redirect,width=1920,height=192 0,fit=scale-down/https://www.1911addicts.com/attachments/img-20230125-wa0026-jpg.1185523/

[340pd]

https://www.1911addicts.com/cdn-cgi/image/format=auto,onerror=redirect,width=1920,height=192 0,fit=scale-down/https://www.1911addicts.com/attachments/screenshot_20230125_133741_opera-jpg.1185545/

[340pd]

https://www.1911addicts.com/cdn-cgi/image/format=auto,onerror=redirect,width=1920,height=192 0,fit=scale-down/https://www.1911addicts.com/attachments/1674816961111-png.1185578/

[340pd]

https://www.1911addicts.com/cdn-cgi/image/format=auto,onerror=redirect,width=1920,height=192 0,fit=scale-down/https://www.1911addicts.com/attachments/1674785939020-png.1185396/

[skiflydive]

Oh Oh.....he's going to get the trots. (credit my bookkeeper)

[dao]

Sounds like he needs to rein in his desires...

[jeepster09]

The Pope and the Rabbi
Several centuries ago, the Pope decreed that all the Jews had to convert to Catholicism or leave Italy. There was a huge outcry from the Jewish community, so the Pope offered a deal. He'd have a religious debate with the leader of the Jewish community. If the Jews won, they could stay in Italy; if the Pope won, they'd have to convert or leave.


The Jewish people met and picked an aged and wise Rabbi to represent them in the debate. However, as the Rabbi spoke no Italian, and the Pope spoke no Yiddish, they agreed that it would be a 'silent' debate. On the chosen day the Pope and Rabbi sat opposite each other.

The Pope raised his hand and showed three fingers. The Rabbi looked back and raised one finger.

Next, the Pope waved his finger around his head. The Rabbi pointed to the ground where he sat.

The Pope brought out a communion wafer and a chalice of wine. The Rabbi pulled out an apple.

With that, the Pope stood up and declared himself beaten and said that the Rabbi was too clever. The Jews could stay in Italy.
Later the cardinals met with the Pope and asked him what had happened.

The Pope said, 'First I held up three fingers to represent the Trinity. He responded by holding up a single finger to remind me there is still only one God common to both our beliefs.

Then, I waved my finger around my head to show him that God was all around us. He responded by pointing to the ground to show that God was also right here with us.

'I pulled out the wine and wafer to show that God absolves us of all our sins. He pulled out an apple to remind me of the original sin. 'He bested me at every move and I could not continue.'

Meanwhile, the Jewish community gathered to ask the Rabbi how he'd won.

'I haven't a clue' the Rabbi said. 'First, he told me that we had three days to get out of Italy, so I gave him the finger.

'Then he told me that the whole country would be cleared of Jews and I told him that we were staying right here.'

'And then what?' asked a woman.

'Who knows?' said the Rabbi. 'He took out his lunch so I took out mine.'

[GROTMAN]

https://www.ncgunowners.com/xf/attachments/1674749744363-png.15598/

[GROTMAN]

https://img.ifunny.co/images/f4f82c3e4cb916c489daf2d61edc64d2a14f632a2acb6fd0b3 e0cd12bdf28ded_1.webp

[jeepster09]

........

[340pd]

https://www.1911addicts.com/cdn-cgi/image/format=auto,onerror=redirect,width=1920,height=192 0,fit=scale-down/https://www.1911addicts.com/attachments/weird-290128-jpg.1188298/

[340pd]

https://www.1911addicts.com/cdn-cgi/image/format=auto,onerror=redirect,width=1920,height=192 0,fit=scale-down/https://www.1911addicts.com/attachments/1675026978092-png.1188083/

[340pd]

https://www.1911addicts.com/cdn-cgi/image/format=auto,onerror=redirect,width=1920,height=192 0,fit=scale-down/https://www.1911addicts.com/attachments/1675097358981-png.1188736/

[jeepster09]

......

[kenemoore]

https://scontent-atl3-1.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t39.30808-6/327865693_875639520351785_6888875501937026347_n.jp g?stp=dst-jpg_p526x296&_nc_cat=101&ccb=1-7&_nc_sid=5cd70e&_nc_ohc=1CGpo6fmMgYAX8oW4OX&_nc_ht=scontent-atl3-1.xx&oh=00_AfBU_h6BdDzAzjZB6JLsMrQCfbl-RoKEQTtq0K0A2zBcow&oe=63DD1CEC

[kenemoore]

https://scontent-atl3-1.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t1.18169-9/970365_169428579916683_1192688424_n.jpg?_nc_cat=10 4&ccb=1-7&_nc_sid=ba80b0&_nc_ohc=kS-3IJ2lGJUAX_BzZ1c&_nc_ht=scontent-atl3-1.xx&oh=00_AfBV6ELx-CH654Z2Plt2b8OEc03B5Kw8xGDO9U4yqCWBew&oe=640088EE

[jeepster09]

What are you?
Are you a Republican, a Democrat, or a Southerner?
This little test will help you decide:
You’re walking down a deserted street with your wife and two young children.
Suddenly, a Terrorist with a huge knife comes around the corner, locks eyes with you, screams obscenities, raises the knife, and charges at you…
You are carrying a Kimber 1911 chambered in .45 ACP, and you are an expert shot. You have mere seconds before he reaches you and your family. What do you do?
******************************
Democrat’s Answer:
Well, that’s not enough information to answer the question! What is a Kimber 1911 and what does .45 ACP mean?
Does the man look poor or oppressed? Is he really a terrorist? Am I guilty of profiling? Have I ever done anything to him that would inspire him to attack?
Could I possibly swing the gun like a club and knock the knife out of his hand? What does the law say about this situation?
Does the pistol have an appropriate safety built into it? Why am I carrying a loaded gun anyway, and what kind of message does this send to society and to my children?
Is it possible he’d be happy with just killing me? Does he definitely want to kill me, or would he be content just to wound me?
Should I call 9-1-1? Why is this street so deserted? Can we make this a happier, healthier street that would discourage such behavior.
I need to debate this with some friends for a few days and try to come to a consensus. This is all so confusing!
******************************
Republican’s Answer:
BANG!
******************************
Southerner’s Answer:
BANG!
BANG! BANG!
BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!
Click…..
(Sounds of reloading)
BANG!
BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!
BANG!
Click.
Daughter: “Nice grouping, Daddy! Were those the Speer Gold Dots or Federal Premium hollow points?!”
Son: “Can I shoot the next one?!”
Wife: “You are NOT taking that to a Taxidermist!”

[Bawanna]

Always loved that. Words to live by. Thanks for helping me figure out what I am.

[djd100]

Independent here (strangely under represented?), but the answer is, "how ever many bangs are needed to put the perp down" (hopefully that's less than two full mags of 45ACP though, maybe we should carry 10mm LOL!).