Redneck Wedding Gone Bad

[kahrseye]

You know it's a good wedding when the groom gets Tazered twice. Enjoy.

http://www.waltonandjohnson.com/showarchives.html?n_id=933 :bump2:

[rholmes69]

Just..... awesome. I love the fact that they (the wedding party) called the ambulance and paramedics, but then when they show up, they think it is the cops... and then the real cops have to come.

[Tat2dman]

Kinda makes ya wanna b there neighbor!What a grin!

[Bawanna]

Thats good stuff right there. I'm thinking them cops wish they had sought a career in bookkeeping or something. Tough situation, funny all the same but tough.

[Longitude Zero]

HAHAHAHAHA

Stupid is as stupid does.

[yqtszhj]

Hold on, that's not a redneck wedding, that's a coona$$ cajun wedding. I grew up as a hillbilly redneck and lived with cajuns for 8 years. If it would have been a redneck wedding there would have been some NASCAR teeshirts too. :D

[kahrseye]

Hold on, that's not a redneck wedding, that's a coona$$ cajun wedding. I grew up as a hillbilly redneck and lived with cajuns for 8 years. If it would have been a redneck wedding there would have been some NASCAR teeshirts too. :D

Maybe a redneck-cajun wedding? :target:

[yqtszhj]

Maybe a redneck-cajun wedding? :target:

There you go. That would probably fit.

[Dietrich]

Just another fine example of what happens when your Mom and Dad were also brother and sister.Inbreeding,it`s not just fun,it can git you on the TV!!!

YEEHAWW!!!

[MikeyKahr]

I would not have believed it if the story was relayed to me without seeing it with my own eyes (on video). Seriously?

[cgo99]

Nice, I hope they included bail money on the wedding budget. :roll:

[JustinN]

Things like that is what I need to show people when they ask me why I am not a cop anymore....

[yqtszhj]

Just another fine example of what happens when your Mom and Dad were also brother and sister.Inbreeding,it`s not just fun,it can git you on the TV!!!

YEEHAWW!!!

My advice to everyone. Don't dig too far into your family history unless you are ready for what you may find. You may find that there were two brothers and one brother married the daughter of the other brother (yes, his neice.) After finding that out every time my wife sees our kids doing something stupid she says "that comes from your side of the family" :crazy: I tell her hey, we're from the hills. Anything that's not brother or sister was fair game back then.

Well at least I'm not alone. We have a president that was married to his cousin not too long ago. Hey, I should have ran for president!

[Dietrich]

Do y`all know the definition of a virgin in the South? It`s a twelve year old girl who can outrun her uncle.

[kahrseye]

Ya'll are having alot more fun with this than I imagined. Dietrich, as usual you have much more insight than a normal person should.....

[yqtszhj]

I have to agree, Dietrich you do have some insight. I'm not asking any more questions or making comments on this one. :rolleyes:

Well at least just not now.....

[Jeremiah/Az]

That is too funny! I bet the groom, in his tenement shirt, didn't get to spend the first night with his 300 pound bride.

[Bawanna]

Who is actually his cousin but if he did spend the night with the beached whale he probably wouldn't remember anyhow which if I were in his shoes would be a very good thing.

I know my first worry was wetting her down before she dried out so we could get er back in the water. Maybe I should join one of them save the animal groups?

Naah, would be too many fat chicks bobbing around in ever body of water.

I just know I've crossed a line here, I'm surely going down on this one.

[Dietrich]

Ya'll are having alot more fun with this than I imagined. Dietrich, as usual you have much more insight than a normal person should.....

Thank you.It`s nice to finally have someone realize that I`m normble.

[jeepster09]

That is too funny! I bet the groom, in his tenement shirt, didn't get to spend the first night with his 300 pound bride.


He had a stand in fer her.....so he was happy :w00t:

[johnh]

Now, now, being a Southerner I feel it necessary to defend the affront to the honor of our women folk. I will say this, while there may be an occasional lady that resembles balene on sand; when we grow them right down here and one turns out beautiful, they are typically very, very beautiful indeed! :biggrin1:

[kahrseye]

No argument here. Having just been down to Charlotte a couple of weeks ago, I experienced many of those same ladies. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder and if the groom in that video thinks his 300 pounder is beautiful, I ain't arguing with him.

[rich e]

I agree that was messed up..

[Bawanna]

I gotta agree, having at least a dozen cousins in various parts of Missouri probably all pushing the 300 mark I don't know what I was thinking. And I also agree with John, when the south creates a beauty, shes a truely a beauty beyond compare

My sincere apologies to all the large boned women out there. And the whales too, no association whatsoever.

[kahrseye]

You be back peddlin pretty quick Bawanna. But I don't blame you. I wouldn't want those vivacious beauties mad at me either.

[yqtszhj]

Ok, Based on John's statement I was about to post something else about either bad seed or fried chicken and gravy fertilizer on what's grown native where I'm from but I think I better stop posting on this one.

I will continue to read and laugh so you guy's carry on.

[Bawanna]

I'm reminded of an episode of Little Fairy on the Prairie where Michael Landon and his wife (sorry I can't remember her name) hit the sack and he puts a like 1x12 between em down the length of the bed.

With that bride (and I apologize in advance) I'd up it to at least a 3 x 24 with metal cleats to hold it in place. Just might prevent a rollover death if you follow the current of my nightmare.

Nearly all in my office look alot like that bride, we even refer to my supervisor as Free Willie. It's all in fun. (at least to me)

I'm gonna go cut a switch and whip myself out behind the wood shed. I'll continue to watch and laugh too but from the side. Studying my sensitivity brochures from last night's meeting.

[xaircav]

I've read about the high rate of obesity in the south but almost everybody in that video was HUGE! I'm carrying about 15 more pounds than I should but that bunch makes me look like a bean pole. When the groom gets out of the cross bar hotel and gets to the bridal suite he'll probably slap her thigh and ride the wave in.

[xaircav]

.....or roll her in flour and look for the wet spot.

[Bawanna]

I still laugh as I recall my granddad in my youth seeing our large next door neighbor lady in the back yard, and he made the statement I believe I'd have to have me a felt marker to mark my way around that woman.

At the time I had no clue what he meant but for some reason the statement stuck in my head, funny how some things do that.

[Dietrich]

I don`t think that even Evel Knievel would have tried to jump across her rear end.

[kahrseye]

:angel: Amen Brother!

[Bawanna]

I don`t think that even Evel Knievel would have tried to jump across her rear end.

But I think he did. No wait, that was the Snake River Canyon, lots of similarities, my bad.

[getsome]

True story....The wife's side of the family cannot be described in words alone but I'll try as best I can... There is Uncle Forest Green (AKA Tree but not as smart) Likes to hit the bottle at family gatherings so long as he doesn't have to bring his own...He always manages to get in several good squeeze grope hugs to any females he can get close enough to before falling down...there are many, many other very strange but true characters but this is a story about a real true Georgia redneck wedding....Well Tree is married to Ellen and their son who is 48 still lives at home and has no job....Now Ellen's neice had a child who's name will be withheld to protect he innocent...Her only occupation was as a Quick Trip clerk from which she was fired for stealing cigarettes...She tried the Army but was kicked out for drunken insubordination after a fight in boot camp and failing any and all physical training tests...Now this lass is a big ole SOB and wound up getting pregnant with an unemployed construction worker who seemed to be a pretty nice guy until he found employment in illegal controlled substances and spent most of the pregnancy in county lock up but did manage to get out in time for the big weddin...Will Miss (name withheld) got to the big event 8 1/2 months pregnant and wore a white wedding tent dress and after being pronounced man and heffer came outside to take wedding pictures with a cigarette in both hands sucking down a Budweiser looking like a human blimp....(Swear to God I ain't making this up) ....Why didn't I bring the camera, I could have won the Grand Prize on America's Funniest Home Videos.....Well after several drunken sloppy kisses they hop in the happy groom's jacked up 4X4 pickup and tear out through the gravel parking lot showering the guests with flying shrapnel....:eek:...Well Junior and (name withheld) lived in blissful matrimony for a few months until he had enough and high tailed it to parts unknown....Thank God everyone on my side of the familly is dead...:cool:

[Bawanna]

Sniff, sniff, thats one of the most sentimental stories I've ever heard. Kind of makes me want to jump off the edge of the Grand Canyon. Nothing like a bride in white with a cigarette hangin out of her lips to put ya in the mood for Bass Fishin, or Prairie Dog hunting or anything that don't involve brides in white dresses.

Give my best to miss no name but from a distance and if you tell er my name I'll not be a happy camper.

[yqtszhj]

You know if we all contributed the best (figuratively speaking) of our families to a television show it would have top ratings and we would all be rich and could sit around and look at Gun forums ALL DAY instead of just all of our spare time. Count me in. I can donate 2 or 3 from mine and no one would ever miss them... :D

[mr surveyor]

y'all are really making me feel uneasy now. If every family represented on this forum was required to submit their own "example" for entertainment.... I would become too well known (I would be the "example"):eek:

surv

[jlottmc]

I'll give you a bunch. We can play "Who's more pathetic" with mine.

[aray]

Speaking of tasers:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q2b-Zg31w6U

[kpm9]

The best part of that video is when they call in the dog. ;)