Pulled over for speeding....

[jeepster09]

A modestly pretty woman was pulled over for speeding. The cop pulled her over, walked up to the window, and flipped open his ticket book.

The lady said “I bet you’re gonna sell me a ticket to one of the Washington State Trooper Balls, aren’t you?”

The Trooper looked at her and said, “The Washington State Troopers don’t have balls.”

A moment of silence, then he closed his book, tipped his hat, got in the cruiser, and left.

[noslolo]

When I was a teenager my best friend used that on a Maryland State Trooper. We were lucky to get out of there with a stern ass chewing!

[apheod]

ROFL that one got me laughing pretty hard

[jocko]

jeepster, u just gott a stop that. My sides are still aching from yesterday..

[Bawanna]

Wish the picture would show up, it was Jocko sitting on a scooter.

JUST FRED








A cop stops a Harley for traveling faster than the posted speed limit,
so he asks the biker his name.

'Fred,' he replies.

'Fred what?' the officer asks.

'Just Fred,' the man responds.

The officer is in a good mood and thinks he might just give the biker a break and, write him out a warning instead of a ticket. The officer then presses him for the last name.

The man tells him that he used to have a last name but lost it. The officer thinks that he has a nut case on his hands but plays along with it. 'Tell me, Fred, how did you lose your last name?'

The biker replies, 'It's a long story, so stay with me.' I was born Fred Johnson.
I studied hard and got good grades.

When I got older, I realized that I wanted to be a doctor. I went through college, medical school, internship, residency, and finally got my degree, so I was Fred Johnson, MD. After a while I got bored being a doctor, so I decided to go back to school.

Dentistry was my dream! Got all the way through School, got my degree, so then I was Fred Johnson, MD, DDS.

Got bored doing dentistry, so I started fooling around with my assistant and she gave me VD, so now I was Fred Johnson, MD, DDS, with VD.

Well, the ADA found out about the VD, so they took away my DDS.

Then I was Fred Johnson, MD, with VD. Then the AMA found out about the ADA taking away my DDS because of the VD, so they took away my MD leaving me as Fred Johnson with VD.

Then the VD took away my Johnson, so now I am Just Fred.'

The officer walked away in tears, laughing.

[rholmes69]

A fella driving along spiritedly in his shiny new corvette suddenly sees lights flashing behind him. In a brief moment of stupidity, he realizes his new car can probably outrun the police easily as he puts his foot to the floor and easily gets a nice jump and pulls away from the cruiser. A couple seconds later as he realizes the severity (and foolishness) of his ways and he decides to pull over. Finally coming to a stop, the officer quickly hops out and is obviously heated. He can't get all the way to the side of the car before he starts bellowing for an excuse quick before he locks this guy up for evading. Quick of his wits, the hapless driver replies...

"Well you see officer, just two weeks ago my wife left me for a cop. Life hasn't quite been the same since and I'm still adjusting... why, I even was able to finally buy the car of my dreams as you can see. And... well sir, I saw those flashing lights behind me and sort of lost my mind. I swear to god I thought you were just trying to bring her back...."