Dear Dietrich

[Dietrich]

I know that many of you have been wrestling with all sorts of problems in your lives and are in dire need of guidance.Well bless your hearts,the help you so desperately need has finally arrived.Being one of the more level-headed members here on KahrTalk,I have decided to open the vast oceans of my knowledge and experience and start an advice column for you poor souls.So go ahead and get it off of your chest.All inquiries will remain anonymous [well,in a way] and no personal problem is off limits.[Technical problems will be ignored. That`s what Jocko is for.]If you`ve got a nagging problem all you have to do is write to Dear Dietrich!!

[Warning.Actually following the advice offered here may not solve your problems but hey,it`s not like you`re paying for this crap.]

[Bawanna]

Dear Deitrich,

I have this beagle, she's about 8 years old or so. Cute little bugger but she don't give me no respect. If I don't keep her on a cable or leash she runs off and don't come when I call her.
Actually my whole family is just like my beagle only bigger and they don't give me no respect either.
I often find myself curled in a fetal position on the kitchen floor sucking my thumb, is this normal?

I believe if you love something you should set it free and iffen it don't come back you should hunt it down and kill it!

Do you agree?

Sincerely

Your friend
Bawanna

[melissa5]

Dear Deitrich,

My dog shoots my PM9 better than I do. Should I restrict him to only shooting the Glock?

Sincerely,
Dog Gone It

[CPO15]

Dear Dietrich; Why do they call 'em GRAPE Nuts???

[Bawanna]

Oh this is gonna be GOOD!

[melissa5]

Dear Dietrich; Why do they call 'em GRAPE Nuts???

That reminds me of a question that I always have after seeing the male enhancement commercials.

[Denny M]

Dear Dietrich,

The hogs done ate my Pa and now Ma aint got nobody to please her. Are you busy tonight?

[Dietrich]

Dear Deitrich,

I have this beagle, she's about 8 years old or so. Cute little bugger but she don't give me no respect. If I don't keep her on a cable or leash she runs off and don't come when I call her.
Actually my whole family is just like my beagle only bigger and they don't give me no respect either.
I often find myself curled in a fetal position on the kitchen floor sucking my thumb, is this normal?

I believe if you love something you should set it free and iffen it don't come back you should hunt it down and kill it!

Do you agree?

Sincerely

Your friend
Bawanna
I had the same problem with a woman I used to know.I suggest that you start drinking heavily on an empty stomach.Women and beagles are both turned on by inebriation and vomiting.Best,Dietrich.

[Dietrich]

Dear Deitrich,

My dog shoots my PM9 better than I do. Should I restrict him to only shooting the Glock?

Sincerely,
Dog Gone It
Hmmm,there seems to be a plague of canine problems here.Seeing as you have a picture of a Pom on your avatar I figure this is the animal in question.Small paws are probably the reason for the good shooting with the PM9.If you decide to restrict the pooch to a Glock,make sure it`s a model 36 because of the slimmer one stack grip.Best,Dietrich.
P.S. This came dangerously close to a technical question.I`ve got my eye on you,young lady.

[Dietrich]

Dear Dietrich; Why do they call 'em GRAPE Nuts???
Because Grape Testicles wouldn`t fit on the box,silly.

[Dietrich]

That reminds me of a question that I always have after seeing the male enhancement commercials.
Believe me when I tell you that those male enhancement products don`t work.Ooops.Dietrich let a little too much info slip out, didn`t he?

[Dietrich]

Dear Dietrich,

The hogs done ate my Pa and now Ma aint got nobody to please her. Are you busy tonight?
Yes.

[500KV]

Dear Dietrich,
A couple of women moved in across the hall from me. One is a middle-aged gym teacher and the other is a social worker in her mid-twenties. These two women go everywhere together and I’ve never seen a man go into or leave their apartment. Do you think they could be Lebanese?

[Dietrich]

Dear Dietrich,
A couple of women moved in across the hall from me. One is a middle-aged gym teacher and the other is a social worker in her mid-twenties. These two women go everywhere together and I’ve never seen a man go into or leave their apartment. Do you think they could be Lebanese?
Don`t worry about it.Danny Thomas was Lebanese so no need to alert Homeland Security yet.Ask the younger one out on a date.The older one will probably enjoy some quiet time alone.What have you got to lose?Best,Dietrich.

[Bawanna]

Dear Dietrich,

If Danny Thomas was Lebanese how did Marlo come about. Do you suppose she was rented just for appearance sake?

Concerned

bawanna

[Dietrich]

Dear Dietrich,

If Danny Thomas was Lebanese how did Marlo come about. Do you suppose she was rented just for appearance sake?

Concerned

bawanna

Dear concerned,True,Danny Thomas was Lebanese but he switched over to the winning side and became an American.That would easily explain how Marlo came into the picture.His death was indeed a tragic one.For those of you who don`t recall,he was sleeping,rolled over and got his nose hung in his ear,sneezed and blew his brains out.Best, Dietrich.

[Bawanna]

Dear Dietrich,

Sorry to be such a repeat customer but I'm still learning stuff.

My question is there's lots of Lebanese people in like San Francisco and people that switched themselves from girls to boys and versa visa too. Some are still what they started out as but wear clothes from the wrong store and stuff too.

Can they still be Americans?

PS-some of the ones that went from boys to girls are pretty smoking hot, am I not normal to appreciate this fact?

[Phooey]

For those of you who don`t recall,he was sleeping,rolled over and got his nose hung in his ear,sneezed and blew his brains out.Best, Dietrich.[/QUOTE]

That was absolutely excellent! LMAO and thanks for making my day a little brighter

[Dietrich]

Dear Dietrich,

Sorry to be such a repeat customer but I'm still learning stuff.

My question is there's lots of Lebanese people in like San Francisco and people that switched themselves from girls to boys and versa visa too. Some are still what they started out as but wear clothes from the wrong store and stuff too.

Can they still be Americans?

PS-some of the ones that went from boys to girls are pretty smoking hot, am I not normal to appreciate this fact?
Relax sweetie.You`re as normble as I am.And yes,they are Americans and hot as firecrackers on the fourth.Did you ever dream of playing center on a prison football team?Best,Dietrich.

[Dietrich]

For those of you who don`t recall,he was sleeping,rolled over and got his nose hung in his ear,sneezed and blew his brains out.Best, Dietrich.

That was absolutely excellent! LMAO and thanks for making my day a little brighter[/QUOTE]
That`s what we`re here for.Don`t forget,any problems with love,work marraige,yeast infections,whatever,this is the place to come for answers.Not that they will be correct,mind you,but you will get an answer.

[Bawanna]

Dear Dietrich,

Now how did you know about that recurring prison football dream? Hmmmm?
Do you have a crystal ball to know this stuff?

Please don't tell me you have a pair of them, I'm sensitive to well you know, behind closed doors kind of talk.

[Dietrich]

Dear Dietrich,

Now how did you know about that recurring prison football dream? Hmmmm?
Do you have a crystal ball to know this stuff?

Please don't tell me you have a pair of them, I'm sensitive to well you know, behind closed doors kind of talk.

Many don`t know this but there are others in here with me.They know all that can be known and I know the rest.Best,The Dietrichs.

[wayneo1]

Dear Dietrich,
Something has baffled me pret near my whole life. Its a thermos bottle, it keeps hot things hot, and cold things cold,but mr. Dietrich sir can you tell me how does it know. :D

[Dietrich]

Dear Dietrich,
Something has baffled me pret near my whole life. Its a thermos bottle, it keeps hot things hot, and cold things cold,but mr. Dietrich sir can you tell me how does it know. :D
It utilizes the same technology that causes people to use the phrase "Hot Water Bottle" instead of what it really should be called.I like the way you think.

[Jeremiah/Az]

Dear Dietrich, I am an old man & I have a gorgeous girlfriend that is 22 years younger than me. I buy Viagra by the case & don't worry about that 4 hour thingy. It just makes her tired & weak. Should I get an additional girlfriend or cut back on the 10 pills a day?

[Dietrich]

Dear Dietrich, I am an old man & I have a gorgeous girlfriend that is 22 years younger than me. I buy Viagra by the case & don't worry about that 4 hour thingy. It just makes her tired & weak. Should I get an additional girlfriend or cut back on the 10 pills a day?

You may want to try giving her a dosage of ecstasy equal to your intake of Viagra.Take no notice if she starts to levitate.I`ve always felt that drugging women to seduce them should be legal.If she doesn`t respond well to the ecstasy,then kick her to the curb and find another playmate or two.If it`s good enough for Charlie Sheen, it`s good enough for you.Best,Dietrich.

[Bawanna]

Dear Dietrich,

I know, I know, it's me again.:( I seem to have more issues than most. Sorry to be such a nuisance.:o

My wife, you know the blonde swede just received her very first CCW permit in the mail this morning. Took 3 days to get incidently. Even though she's not a US Citizen, not test, no qual, just money, background check and a license to frighten your husband.

My question is are you aware of any behaviour modification rehab centers that I could attend for my personal safety? I'd prefer one without electro shock therapy. I had that in my sex addiction therapy, my alcohol addiction therapy, my recreational drug therapy, and my mouse gun intolerance therapy. I'm really becoming not fond of electricity. Incidently all therapy failed. Although I am considering a CM 9 just to stay in Jocko's good graces. Which leads me to another question that I should probably save for another day.

Frightened in Washington

[melissa5]

Dear Dietrich,

I know, I know, it's me again.:( I seem to have more issues than most. Sorry to be such a nuisance.:o

My wife, you know the blonde swede just received her very first CCW permit in the mail this morning. Took 3 days to get incidently. Even though she's not a US Citizen, not test, no qual, just money, background check and a license to frighten your husband.

My question is are you aware of any behaviour modification rehab centers that I could attend for my personal safety? I'd prefer one without electro shock therapy. I had that in my sex addiction therapy, my alcohol addiction therapy, my recreational drug therapy, and my mouse gun intolerance therapy. I'm really becoming not fond of electricity. Incidently all therapy failed. Although I am considering a CM 9 just to stay in Jocko's good graces. Which leads me to another question that I should probably save for another day.

Frightened in Washington

If Dietrich doesn't mind, I can answer this one.

You are going about it backwards. Apply the electro shock therapy to the Swede and that will cure all of your problems. :p

[Bawanna]

If Dietrich doesn't mind, I can answer this one.

You are going about it backwards. Apply the electro shock therapy to the Swede and that will cure all of your problems. :p

But, but, but I'm afraid!:eek: Could you do it? It is a fine idea.

[melissa5]

But, but, but I'm afraid!:eek: Could you do it? It is a fine idea.

I wouldn't touch that Swede with a 10-foot pole. :boink:

My advice is to man up and do it yourself.

It was nice knowing you, Bawanna! :p

[Bawanna]

I wouldn't touch that Swede with a 10-foot pole. :boink:

My advice is to man up and do it yourself.

It was nice knowing you, Bawanna! :p

I knew it, there was an ulterior motive and your siding with her trying to get me killed for the insurance money that you'll probably split and both do your griefing in the Bahama's which is a whole nuther country.

Maybe if I had a 10-foot pole, ahh skip that.

Your not the first person to tell me to man up. Must be some truth to that. I better go to the library on the way home from my Ballet lessons and see if they have any books on "Maning up".

Truth be told my little Swede got a raw deal getting hooked up with me, never planned on being a deaf derelict with a bad attitude. It's no wonder she likes to boss me around and abuse me relentlessly. I deserve it and enjoy it and don't know what I'd do with out it.
And she looks a little bit like Tiger Woods ex swede which ain't bad at all. What a dummy golf player he is.
Everyone think I'm ok now in case she ever reads this stuff. Or should I pick out a monument and start digging? Hmm another question for Dear Deitrich or do you think digging is too technical.

[melissa5]

I knew it, there was an ulterior motive and your siding with her trying to get me killed for the insurance money that you'll probably split and both do your griefing in the Bahama's which is a whole nuther country.

Maybe if I had a 10-foot pole, ahh skip that.

Your not the first person to tell me to man up. Must be some truth to that. I better go to the library on the way home from my Ballet lessons and see if they have any books on "Maning up".

Truth be told my little Swede got a raw deal getting hooked up with me, never planned on being a deaf derelict with a bad attitude. It's no wonder she likes to boss me around and abuse me relentlessly. I deserve it and enjoy it and don't know what I'd do with out it.
And she looks a little bit like Tiger Woods ex swede which ain't bad at all. What a dummy golf player he is.
Everyone think I'm ok now in case she ever reads this stuff. Or should I pick out a monument and start digging? Hmm another question for Dear Deitrich or do you think digging is too technical.

What? Are you trying to say that the Swede and I are Lebanese? If that were the case, I wouldn't need a 10-foot pole!

She sounds like a dream boat. Maybe I should be Lebanese! Does she know Swedish massage? Ah, skip that...:p

[Dietrich]

Will you two please leave it to the professionals? Sheesh,what a pair!! Speaking of a pair,I suggest you grow `em Bawanna.And Melissa,there is nothing wrong with being Lebanese.A Yemini yes, but Lebanese,no. Now on to the solution.The answer to the problem is as obvious as the nose on Danny Thomas` face.Get yourself an eleven foot pole.Now both of you,sit down and behave or there will be consequences.

[jeepster09]

Dear Dietrich

Why is everyone wantin to go Green......I thought we were fraid of da Martians? :confused: Or is it like becoming Lebanese?

[Dietrich]

Dear Dietrich

Why is everyone wantin to go Green......I thought we were fraid of da Martians? :confused: Or is it like becoming Lebanese?

No,nothing at all like becoming Lebanese which involves several tons of coal and lots of money. Going green is one of those convoluted terms that has to do with aging gracefully.As you may know,cheese turns green with mold as it ages and gets better.Ergo,some people on the left coast figured that if cheese got better with age,they wanted to jump on that particular bandwagon too.That`s where the term "Going Green" sprang from.We still need to be on the lookout for Martians though.

[Willieboy]

Dear Detrich,

God made me just as ugly as he could... and then he hit me in the face with a coal shovel.

Can you hep me?

P.S. if it matters in your analysis, I am Lebanese but I'm stuck in a man's body.

[Dietrich]

Dear Detrich,

God made me just as ugly as he could... and then he hit me in the face with a coal shovel.

Can you hep me?

P.S. if it matters in your analysis, I am Lebanese but I'm stuck in a man's body.

Life certainly isn`t a bowl of cherries for you,is it?

[Jeremiah/Az]

Dear Dietrich,

I think something may be wrong with my girlfriend. She gets to breathing funny, makes animal kinds of sounds, gets red in the face & then seems to collapse & cry quietly. Then I get real sleepy. Is her condition contagious?

[swampman]

Dear Dietritch,When my butt itches I scratch it,Then when I wipe the sweat from my brow,there is a strange smell,I just cant figure it,please help,Swampman.:)

[Dietrich]

Dear Dietrich,

I think something may be wrong with my girlfriend. She gets to breathing funny, makes animal kinds of sounds, gets red in the face & then seems to collapse & cry quietly. Then I get real sleepy. Is her condition contagious?

No,she`s not contagious and the even better news is her condition is treatable.It is obvious to those of us in the know that she needs a release of sorts and a pet to calm her frazzled nerves.I have heard rumors on the Sci-Fi network that there is a creature that has been developed that may take care of both problems.Scientisits have crossbred an armadillo with a personal vibrator and have named it the armadildo.Get one for your girlfriend as soon as they become available to the general public.She will find a happiness that has as yet been undiscovered along with unconditional affection.You,in turn, will be much more rested and alert for watching wrestling on TV.Best,Dietrich.

[Rainman48314]

Dear Dietrich

I love cats. Do you have any recipes?

Thanks

[Dietrich]

Dear Dietritch,When my butt itches I scratch it,Then when I wipe the sweat from my brow,there is a strange smell,I just cant figure it,please help,Swampman.:)

I used to be married to a woman who had the same problem.It turned out that the strange smell was the soap she should have been using to wash her butt.Once she discovered the advantages of personal hygene the itching of her behind went away.However,the pain in my behind didn`t go away until our divorce became final.Never date a woman who uses vanilla extract for perfume.It`s OK in the winter but in the summertime the flies blow her.Best,Dietrich.

[Dietrich]

Dear Dietrich

I love cats. Do you have any recipes?

Thanks


You are a brave one indeed.Not many of the guys here will admit to loving Broadway musicals.Bravo,young man,bravo.And yes,I have some recipes.

[Joe_Pike]

Dear Dietrich

Long time listener, first time caller.

I have asked these two questions at various times directed at different people in the past but have never been given a satisfactory answer. Maybe you can help.

1. Why is Captain Crunch's eyebrows on his hat?

and

2. Why does Donald Duck put on a towel after a shower but never wears pants?

Thank you.

[Dietrich]

Dear Dietrich

Long time listener, first time caller.

I have asked these two questions at various times directed at different people in the past but have never been given a satisfactory answer. Maybe you can help.

1. Why is Captain Crunch's eyebrows on his hat?

and

2. Why does Donald Duck put on a towel after a shower but never wears pants?

Thank you.

#1. They are not eyebrows.Crunch is a captain in the Lebanese navy and those are actually military insignia.The Captain is a woman for those who didn`t know.

#2. Don is a domesticated duck and has lost his natural ability to shed water.Hence the towel. He has no need to wear pants due to a bitter domestic dispute with Daisy that ended in a Bobbit bobbing.Therefore,he has no need for pants as he no longer has anything to hide.His feathers cover the stump.Best Dietrich.

[Ol'coot]

Dear Dietrich.

My wife has a schoolgirl fetish and I really want to please her so should I wear a pull over or button up blouse with my plaid skirt?

[Dietrich]

Dear Dietrich.

My wife has a schoolgirl fetish and I really want to please her so should I wear a pull over or button up blouse with my plaid skirt?

Without a doubt,wear the button up but leave the top 2 or three buttons unbuttoned.A small tattoo of a rose on your backside will complete your ensemble.Wait a minute !! The muse is upon me !!

There once was a lad from Australia
Who painted his ass like a dahlia
The color was fine,likewise the design
But the aroma,eww,that was a failure.

Best, Dietrich

[jeepster09]

Dear Dietrich...
I walked into a drug store in Waco , Texas and asked to talk to a male pharmacist.

The woman he was talking to said that she was the only pharmacist and as she and her sister owned the store, there were no males employed there.

She then asked if she could help. I said that it was something that I would be much more comfortable discussing with a male pharmacist.

The female pharmacist assured him that she was completely professional, and whatever it was that he needed to discuss, he could be confident that she would treat him with the highest level of professionalism.

I then agreed and began by saying .......

'This is tough for me to discuss, but I have a .... Permanent Erection.

It causes me a lot of problems, and severe embarrassment, and I was wondering what you could give me for it.'

The pharmacist said ...... 'Just a minute, I'll talk to my sister.'

When she returned, she said ...... We discussed it at length, and the absolute best we can do is as follows:

1/3 ownership in the store ........
Two cooked home dinners a week .......
A new pickup.....
And $3,000 a month in living expenses.


What should I do? Will this help? :confused:

[Dietrich]

Dear Dietrich...
I walked into a drug store in Waco , Texas and asked to talk to a male pharmacist.

The woman he was talking to said that she was the only pharmacist and as she and her sister owned the store, there were no males employed there.

She then asked if she could help. I said that it was something that I would be much more comfortable discussing with a male pharmacist.

The female pharmacist assured him that she was completely professional, and whatever it was that he needed to discuss, he could be confident that she would treat him with the highest level of professionalism.

I then agreed and began by saying .......

'This is tough for me to discuss, but I have a .... Permanent Erection.

It causes me a lot of problems, and severe embarrassment, and I was wondering what you could give me for it.'

The pharmacist said ...... 'Just a minute, I'll talk to my sister.'

When she returned, she said ...... We discussed it at length, and the absolute best we can do is as follows:

1/3 ownership in the store ........
Two cooked home dinners a week .......
A new pickup.....
And $3,000 a month in living expenses.


What should I do? Will this help? :confused:

If,between the two of them,they could only come up with two homecooked meals a week,I`d advise you to walk away while you still have some dignity.We men have made far too many concessions to women since the seventies and we need to start taking a harder line.I remember my reply to one of my ex-wife`s women`s lib friends when she asked for my opinion on women`s rights.I looked her straight in the eye and said "Women wouldn`t have any rights if men hadn`t given them to them." Remember those words in your daily travels and you will be a better man for it. Best,Dietrich.

[Bawanna]

Dear Dietrich

My daughter is getting married in a mere 8 weeks. The guys good. (still alive). But my wife is already showing signs of becoming a bridezilla or whatever a mother of the bride that expects the world to stop so we can do wedding stuff. Yesterday she made me stop work on Melissa's spalted maple handles and cut out invitation announcements.:eek: Then picked apart my every effort. As usual she'll want our hovel to look like street of dreams. People know we're poor slobs, why do we have to impress people.

Is it wrong of me to want to deliver a ladder, vehicle with full tank of arab oil and a card wishing them their best on their elopement.
Actually she's already shacking up with him and its a one story house, so a freaking step stool would suffice.

On top of all that I had to pay for 5 tux rentals so we can be miserable and uncomfortable and look like trained monkeys or penquins.

Please help.

[melissa5]

Congrats, Bawanna! You'll look like a penguin with a walrus mustache! :biggrin1:

[Bawanna]

Congrats, Bawanna! You'll look like a penguin with a walrus mustache! :biggrin1:

Congrats for being led around by my nose ring which is why I keep the mustache full and vibrant to go less unnoticed?
He's a decent hard working boy from Dietrichville in fact. Charlotte North Carolina home of Gone with the Wind or maybe it was just Charlotte? Any how it's all good, I'm looking forward to it being over with. I'm sure it's gonna be a day.

We need to go easy, remember the chewing we got last time about letting the professionals handle it and all.

Tender egos and all.

[Dietrich]

Dear Dietrich

My daughter is getting married in a mere 8 weeks. The guys good. (still alive). But my wife is already showing signs of becoming a bridezilla or whatever a mother of the bride that expects the world to stop so we can do wedding stuff. Yesterday she made me stop work on Melissa's spalted maple handles and cut out invitation announcements.:eek: Then picked apart my every effort. As usual she'll want our hovel to look like street of dreams. People know we're poor slobs, why do we have to impress people.

Is it wrong of me to want to deliver a ladder, vehicle with full tank of arab oil and a card wishing them their best on their elopement.
Actually she's already shacking up with him and its a one story house, so a freaking step stool would suffice.

On top of all that I had to pay for 5 tux rentals so we can be miserable and uncomfortable and look like trained monkeys or penquins.

Please help.

How truly unfortunate for you.

[jocko]

totally agree bawanna. I told my son the same thing, I would rather give him some money than to pay for a stupid weddng that aftrer it is allover, what do u have????

Hell I went to vegas for my second marrage, 75 bucks to rent the chapel, 50 bucks for the preacher, I was to cheap to pay for taped music . still married 26 years later... hopefully my son will follow in his dads tracks.

[Bawanna]

How truly unfortunate for you.

Do I detect a half grin / chuckle in your response?

I might have to get a second opinion from that Dear Abigail in the paper although I put much more faith in your wisdom than hers.

Wife told me I should take wednesday off since it's Oprahs last day. I asked if she was getting the Kavorkian appointment. Guess it's her last show.

Told wife I'd rather eat rusty barbwire, don't waste my time, pass the wire cutters.

[Dietrich]

Do I detect a half grin / chuckle in your response?

I might have to get a second opinion from that Dear Abigail in the paper although I put much more faith in your wisdom than hers.

Wife told me I should take wednesday off since it's Oprahs last day. I asked if she was getting the Kavorkian appointment. Guess it's her last show.

Told wife I'd rather eat rusty barbwire, don't waste my time, pass the wire cutters.

Tell your wife to forget about Oprah,Miss Manners,Dear Abbey and all the rest.Get her a copy of Southern Bride and she`ll be in the know for everything from decorative No Pest strips to keep the flies off the bridesmaids to the latest in floursack underwear.No need to thank me.Best,Dietrich.

[melissa5]

Oprah :puke:

She's so far up Obama's backside that she's about to come out of his mouth.

Hand me some of that barbwire!

[jdlott74]

Congrats for being led around by my nose ring which is why I keep the mustache full and vibrant to go less unnoticed?
He's a decent hard working boy from Dietrichville in fact. Charlotte North Carolina home of Gone with the Wind or maybe it was just Charlotte? Any how it's all good, I'm looking forward to it being over with. I'm sure it's gonna be a day.

We need to go easy, remember the chewing we got last time about letting the professionals handle it and all.

Tender egos and all.

Bawana dont be dissing those NC boys. There were some good ones out there. They could always do like jlottmc and I did and do the JP with a couplw witnesses and told NOBODY but our immediate family and still had a blessing of the civiln ceremony at the the church months later and then have a small pig pickin ar my parents house for the reception. Cost.less than $3,000 total

[jdlott74]

Congrats for being led around by my nose ring which is why I keep the mustache full and vibrant to go less unnoticed?
He's a decent hard working boy from Dietrichville in fact. Charlotte North Carolina home of Gone with the Wind or maybe it was just Charlotte? Any how it's all good, I'm looking forward to it being over with. I'm sure it's gonna be a day.

We need to go easy, remember the chewing we got last time about letting the professionals handle it and all.

Tender egos and all.

And BTW Dietrichville is LONG ways away from Charlotte and probably 20 times smaller. There is NOTHING in Atlantic NC except fishing and an old military air station that Cherry Point uses for training. Believe me I've been there.

[Dietrich]

And BTW Dietrichville is LONG ways away from Charlotte and probably 20 times smaller. There is NOTHING in Atlantic NC except fishing and an old military air station that Cherry Point uses for training. Believe me I've been there.

I beg to differ,madam.True,at one time there was nothing in Atlantic [aka.Dietrichville ] but now I am here.The women want me,the men are jealous of me and the fish fear me. Not to mention the ducks.I will admit it is a bit remote.We are so far back in the sticks that the radios still play WW II broadcasts.I was born and lived in Raleigh until we moved here last August.Either place still beats Charlotte in my book.

[MikeyKahr]

Dear Dietrich,

I have a very pressing question. In the song Yankee Doodle, is he calling the horse or the feather "macaroni"? Thank you for providing us with this service.

Affectionately yours,
KahrTalk addict from the North Coast

[Dietrich]

Dear Dietrich,

I have a very pressing question. In the song Yankee Doodle, is he calling the horse or the feather "macaroni"? Thank you for providing us with this service.

Affectionately yours,
KahrTalk addict from the North Coast

Neither.The town itself was what he called Macaroni.It is in the state of North Carolina just southeast of Stumpy Point,not far from the Great Dismal Swamp.They don`t call this state "Variety Vacationland" for nothing.

[jdlott74]

I beg to differ,madam.True,at one time there was nothing in Atlantic [aka.Dietrichville ] but now I am here.The women want me,the men are jealous of me and the fish fear me. Not to mention the ducks.I will admit it is a bit remote.We are so far back in the sticks that the radios still play WW II broadcasts.I was born and lived in Raleigh until we moved here last August.Either place still beats Charlotte in my book.

Deitrich, as jlottmc (the hubby) said, the women out there have A tooth, yes, there is fishing, the mosquitos will carry you to their home for lunch and it isn't just a bit remote but a LOT remote. It's at the end of the freaking ISLAND for god's sake. You can HAVE Atlantic, NC any day. I love the beach down there all day long. It's my second home and I like peace and quiet just like any country girl, BUT Atlantic is just a bit much and BORING for me. Give me Charlotte or Raleigh over Atlantic any day. Atlantic, NC is NOT our favorite friend.

[MikeyKahr]

Thank you kind sir. Helpful, informative - and correct, as always. Another question.

I will be the father of the bride in an upcoming wedding later this summer. She's precious and definitely daddy's girl. I will be dressed in beyond my Sunday best and perhaps will even be sporting Swedish and Canadian flags embroidered on my cumbersome....er, I mean cumberbund. Now to the important matters. As the father of the bride, and paying for this whole wedding out of my gun fund, how many guns am I allowed to have on my person for the actual wedding ceremony? And would it ever be appropriate for me to go open carry for any portion of the festivities?

Thanks a million!
Gun-loving Yosemite Sam in the Rain State

P.S. Also, would it be inappropriate to invite my five gun-forum wives to the wedding? And do I necessarily have to invite my nephew who constantly seems to "borrow" and never return my firearms from my mancave?

[Dietrich]

Deitrich, as jlottmc (the hubby) said, the women out there have A tooth, yes, there is fishing, the mosquitos will carry you to their home for lunch and it isn't just a bit remote but a LOT remote. It's at the end of the freaking ISLAND for god's sake. You can HAVE Atlantic, NC any day. I love the beach down there all day long. It's my second home and I like peace and quiet just like any country girl, BUT Atlantic is just a bit much and BORING for me. Give me Charlotte or Raleigh over Atlantic any day. Atlantic, NC is NOT our favorite friend.

One of the young men who was working on our new house remarked that he was from the country but this place was waayy beyond country.I loved it.That`s the beauty of this place.It`s so far gone the dingbatters don`t like to come here. At least for the time being.There`s just the water,the islands,me in my boat and the sea creatures. What I miss about Raleigh is being able to access restaurants and stores in just a few minutes but I`d rather buy everything out of a Sears catalog before I`d live in Charlotte.When they decide this state needs an enema,Charlotte is where they put the nozzle.Oh,just one more insignificant detail.Atlantic is at the end of the mainland,not at the end of an island.

[Dietrich]

Thank you kind sir. Helpful, informative - and correct, as always. Another question.

I will be the father of the bride in an upcoming wedding later this summer. She's precious and definitely daddy's girl. I will be dressed in beyond my Sunday best and perhaps will even be sporting Swedish and Canadian flags embroidered on my cumbersome....er, I mean cumberbund. Now to the important matters. As the father of the bride, and paying for this whole wedding out of my gun fund, how many guns am I allowed to have on my person for the actual wedding ceremony? And would it ever be appropriate for me to go open carry for any portion of the festivities?

Thanks a million!
Gun-loving Yosemite Sam in the Rain State

P.S. Also, would it be inappropriate to invite my five gun-forum wives to the wedding? And do I necessarily have to invite my nephew who constantly seems to "borrow" and never return my firearms from my mancave?

You are in luck my friend as I am quite the expert in these matters.Good manners and decorum dictate your firearm wardrobe to be simple,yet tasteful.A plain,open carry side by side twelve gauge is all the rage at these affairs.Nothing says she`s Daddy`s Little Girl like that double barrel shotgun does.As for it being appropriate to invite your cyber wives the answer is a resounding YES!!You`ll need womenfolk to clean up the mess after it`s all over.In regards to your nephew,arrange an "accident".

[Bawanna]

One of the young men who was working on our new house remarked that he was from the country but this place was waayy beyond country.I loved it.That`s the beauty of this place.It`s so far gone the dingbatters don`t like to come here. At least for the time being.There`s just the water,the islands,me in my boat and the sea creatures. What I miss about Raleigh is being able to access restaurants and stores in just a few minutes but I`d rather buy everything out of a Sears catalog before I`d live in Charlotte.When they decide this state needs an enema,Charlotte is where they put the nozzle.Oh,just one more insignificant detail.Atlantic is at the end of the mainland,not at the end of an island.

Sounds like my kind of place. I don't cotton to dingbatters much and like being alone. Got room for one more. I'll build my shanty as far from everybody as I can.

[Dietrich]

Sounds like my kind of place. I don't cotton to dingbatters much and like being alone. Got room for one more. I'll build my shanty as far from everybody as I can.

There`s a really nice piece of land across the street from me.About an acre and a half I reckon.Already got a well and septic tank on it so no problems there.The house that was there years ago was struck by lightning and burned down so you don`t have to worry about that potential problem as we all know lightning don`t strike twice in the same place.Can`t say the same thing about storms though.

[Bawanna]

There`s a really nice piece of land across the street from me.About an acre and a half I reckon.Already got a well and septic tank on it so no problems there.The house that was there years ago was struck by lightning and burned down so you don`t have to worry about that potential problem as we all know lightning don`t strike twice in the same place.Can`t say the same thing about storms though.

You don't know me and my penchant for shattering records. Especially bad things. Probably strike me crossing the street to borrow a cup of powder. Not pretty.
Would be cool to be your neighbor though. We do seem to share similar thoughts, yours intelligent and twisted, mine simple and well simple.

[Bawanna]

You are in luck my friend as I am quite the expert in these matters.Good manners and decorum dictate your firearm wardrobe to be simple,yet tasteful.A plain,open carry side by side twelve gauge is all the rage at these affairs.Nothing says she`s Daddy`s Little Girl like that double barrel shotgun does.As for it being appropriate to invite your cyber wives the answer is a resounding YES!!You`ll need womenfolk to clean up the mess after it`s all over.In regards to your nephew,arrange an "accident".

You made my day Dear Deitrich. I have a lovely nickel plated side by side with an English stock I made. It's just aching for a chance to go to a party.
Might get me a nice scabbard to mount on my chair.

[Bawanna]

Dear Deitrich,

I know this fella who shall remain nameless but it sounds a lot like one of them midget fellas that rides on race horses cept instead of an "e" on the end it's an "O". (too much information)?

Anyhow it can't go without notice that he's obviously got issues (addiction to chocolate shakes, straddling a vibrating high cubic inch machine ALOT, little girls, illegal aliens to name a few) that require the services of an expert such as yourself.

Do you think theres any way to pry open the closet door so he can share and admit his issues, obviously the first step in casting the demons aside and getting on with a more healthy and mentally stable life?

I know that he would consider me one of the very demons I refer too and only hope that you can convince him that I'm only trying to help. It's only out of love (not any kind of mano mano love ya know?) and admiration that I bring up this topic.

Thanks for your consideration.

Nameless.

PS- if I wake up with a horsehead in bed next to me or a fish in the mail I'll know that you blew my identity and will have to seek asylum in Utah.

[Dietrich]

Dear Deitrich,

I know this fella who shall remain nameless but it sounds a lot like one of them midget fellas that rides on race horses cept instead of an "e" on the end it's an "O". (too much information)?

Anyhow it can't go without notice that he's obviously got issues (addiction to chocolate shakes, straddling a vibrating high cubic inch machine ALOT, little girls, illegal aliens to name a few) that require the services of an expert such as yourself.

Do you think theres any way to pry open the closet door so he can share and admit his issues, obviously the first step in casting the demons aside and getting on with a more healthy and mentally stable life?

I know that he would consider me one of the very demons I refer too and only hope that you can convince him that I'm only trying to help. It's only out of love (not any kind of mano mano love ya know?) and admiration that I bring up this topic.

Thanks for your consideration.

Nameless.

PS- if I wake up with a horsehead in bed next to me or a fish in the mail I'll know that you blew my identity and will have to seek asylum in Utah.
Dear Nameless.I know who you are and this last post,along with countless others.glosses over the underlying message you try unsuccessfully to avoid.It is quite obvious that you are,indeed,interested in mano on mano love with this man.Shake yourself free of the chains that society has bound you with and pursue this guy like the frustrated debutante you so desperately want to be.Kick up your heels,raise those petticoats and ride him like a rented mule.You go girl!!!

[Bawanna]

Dear Nameless.I know who you are and this last post,along with countless others.glosses over the underlying message you try unsuccessfully to avoid.It is quite obvious that you are,indeed,interested in mano on mano love with this man.Shake yourself free of the chains that society has bound you with and pursue this guy like the frustrated debutante you so desperately want to be.Kick up your heels,raise those petticoats and ride him like a rented mule.You go girl!!!

Hypothetically speaking. Thank you very much hypothetically. I hope my nephew don't read this area.

Sincerely

Still in the closet but the door is open and I'm peaking out the crack.

[jimbar]

hypothetically speaking. Thank you very much hypothetically. I hope my nephew don't read this area.

Sincerely

still in the closet but the door is open and i'm peaking out the crack.

close the door, bawanna, close the damn door for god's sake!!

[Dietrich]

close the door, bawanna, close the damn door for god's sake!!
Yeah,there`s something about the line "Peeking out the crack" that is a little unnerving to me. Eewww.

[Bawanna]

close the door, bawanna, close the damn door for god's sake!!

Thank you jimbar, it was like a bucket of ice water thrown in my face but you brought me back to my hetero self and all is ok now. I think this Dear Dietrich fella tried to hypnotize me or slipped some date rape drugs in my java. I'll be more careful of these on line therapist in the future.

It's ok Melissa and Jdlott, and TD2K (where is she lately) we're ok honey(s).

[jdlott74]

Sounds like my kind of place. I don't cotton to dingbatters much and like being alone. Got room for one more. I'll build my shanty as far from everybody as I can.

If it wasn't so freaking remote, it would be my kind of place too, but the nearest Supercenter and places to shop is 30 minutes away, MAYBE. That would be in Beaufort/Morehead City, NC.

[jdlott74]

Thank you jimbar, it was like a bucket of ice water thrown in my face but you brought me back to my hetero self and all is ok now. I think this Dear Dietrich fella tried to hypnotize me or slipped some date rape drugs in my java. I'll be more careful of these on line therapist in the future.

It's ok Melissa and Jdlott, and TD2K (where is she lately) we're ok honey(s).


I don't know about Melissa or TD2K, but I'm not worried.

[Bawanna]

If it wasn't so freaking remote, it would be my kind of place too, but the nearest Supercenter and places to shop is 30 minutes away, MAYBE. That would be in Beaufort/Morehead City, NC.

30 minutes only. Don't seem far enough from civilization to me. We're about half that distance now and there's too many people.

I need a little room. I need a lot of room.

I've often dreamed of a fenced in 5000 acres with a house right smack in the middle. Step out on the surround porch and shoot any direction and not be concerned with hitting anything. Course I do that now at the indoor range but we don't need to dwell on that.

[melissa5]

Dear Nameless.I know who you are and this last post,along with countless others.glosses over the underlying message you try unsuccessfully to avoid.It is quite obvious that you are,indeed,interested in mano on mano love with this man.Shake yourself free of the chains that society has bound you with and pursue this guy like the frustrated debutante you so desperately want to be.Kick up your heels,raise those petticoats and ride him like a rented mule.You go girl!!!

OK, you owe me a new keyboard! :D

[melissa5]

I don't know about Melissa or TD2K, but I'm not worried.

Nah, I'm not worried, but maybe the Swede should be.... :p

[Dietrich]

OK, you owe me a new keyboard! :D

You dear,dear woman,why do I owe you a keyboard?

[melissa5]

You dear,dear woman,why do I owe you a keyboard?

Because when reading your replies, if you have a mouthful of Coke, you will spit the Coke on the keyboard because you are laughing so hard. :madgrin:

[sonofodin]

I have this unending addiction to guns, knives and pipes. I cant seem to get enough of them or accessories. Also, I have big guns but whenever I show my big gun to a lady, she runs and calls the police like im some kind of nut. what should I do?

A lost Irishman


*edit* also, I cant seem to get ride of 12-18 year old scotch lying about my house, nor the good bourbon. is this a problem?

[Bawanna]

I have this unending addiction to guns, knives and pipes. I cant seem to get enough of them or accessories. Also, I have big guns but whenever I show my big gun to a lady, she runs and calls the police like im some kind of nut. what should I do?

A lost Irishman


*edit* also, I cant seem to get ride of 12-18 year old scotch lying about my house, nor the good bourbon. is this a problem?

I've learned my lesson trying to help the professional on this thread but I do have an address for an excellent disposal site for that old scotch. I'm sure it's far beyond it's expiration date and I offer this disposal as a public service.

[sonofodin]

12 year old Glenmorangie Port Ruban good? So delicious...after 12 years of maturing its further soaked in port ruban portugal port wine casks. nom nom nom nom. I changed my mind.

[Bawanna]

Your such a teaser.

[Dietrich]

I have this unending addiction to guns, knives and pipes. I cant seem to get enough of them or accessories. Also, I have big guns but whenever I show my big gun to a lady, she runs and calls the police like im some kind of nut. what should I do?

A lost Irishman


*edit* also, I cant seem to get ride of 12-18 year old scotch lying about my house, nor the good bourbon. is this a problem?

Dear Lost Irishman,you probably are just having a bad streak of luck with your timing.The women who run for the police when you show them your big gun are quite obviously suffering from PMS.The police are used to dealing with these poor creatures and will go to great lengths to calm them down.I`m sure with time and effort on your part things will get better.Just keep showing that big gun of yours to females no matter what.You`re on the right path.
As for the scotch and bourbon lying about the house,no,there is no problem.Just thank goodness it`s not a 27 year old offspring still lying around your house.Best,Dietrich

[Dietrich]

Because when reading your replies, if you have a mouthful of Coke, you will spit the Coke on the keyboard because you are laughing so hard. :madgrin:

Quite frankly,I`m appalled.This is serious stuff here young lady.Also,you should be well aware that swallowing Coke is far better than spraying your keyboard down with it.Oh,that reminds me of an old Dietrich family adage.
If the stork brings babies,then what brings no babies?
A swallow.

[Ol'coot]

OMG Dietrich,

I think I just soiled my pants have reading you last words of wisdom I am still ROFL!

[Dietrich]

OMG Dietrich,

I think I just soiled my pants have reading you last words of wisdom I am still ROFL!
Glad you enjoyed it Coot.We aim to please.

[melissa5]

Quite frankly,I`m appalled.This is serious stuff here young lady.Also,you should be well aware that swallowing Coke is far better than spraying your keyboard down with it.Oh,that reminds me of an old Dietrich family adage.
If the stork brings babies,then what brings no babies?
A swallow.

:2eek: :madgrin: :third:

[Willieboy]

Dear Dietrich,

Why is it that whenever I find something I'd previously misplaced, it is always in the last place I look? It is so frustrating and time consuming.

[Dietrich]

Dear Dietrich,

Why is it that whenever I find something I'd previously misplaced, it is always in the last place I look? It is so frustrating and time consuming.

Elementary, my dear Willieboy.if you kept on looking after you found it,it wouldn`t be in the last place you looked,would it?

[Bawanna]

Damn, this guys good!

[sonofodin]

I took your advice and drank all my scotch and bourbon and went to the park showing off my huge gun. Before I knew it, the cops showed up and took me to jail. Am I doing something wrong? The only person interested was a large gorilla.


The Lost Irishman

[Dietrich]

I took your advice and drank all my scotch and bourbon and went to the park showing off my huge gun. Before I knew it, the cops showed up and took me to jail. Am I doing something wrong? The only person interested was a large gorilla.


The Lost Irishman

Dear Lost Irishman,Of course you`re not doing anything wrong.That poor gorilla needs some lovin` too.Don`t be selfish.As I said before,you`re on the right path.

[MW surveyor]

Dear Dietrich,

I just got back to Houston from Mexico after being gone since the 8th of May. The wife is not at home and is visiting the grand kids in Baton Rouge (6 hour drive from here). Kinda quiet here in the house. I seem to like it. I can do whatever I want without having to ask SHMBO. Got a pizza in the oven, after that will probably go out to the shed and do some reloading for the 1911 and probably go out to the range tomorrow.

Here's my problem. I called her when I got in and talked her into staying until Sunday. Should I call back and tell her that it may be better for her to stay in Baton Rouge until Tuesday so that she doesn't have to drive during the holiday?

Like'n the peace and quiet,

MW surveyor

[Dietrich]

I suggest you strike while the iron is hot.It`s just a hop,skip and a jump between Memorial Day and the fourth of July.Show her how much you truly care and get her to stay in Louisiana at least until the 7th or 8th of July.No sense in her getting mixed up with all the crazies during those holidays.You will come across as a caring and thoughtful spouse.Trust me.I know women.Until she gets back,party down.

[Bawanna]

Dear Dietrich,

I don't think my wife knows where Baton Rouge is. Whats the best way to get her to go look for it? Hopefully taking her time, alot of time, all the time she wants or I want which is a long time.

Sincerely I need quiet time too.

PS- I don't do pizza, what do I eat?

[MW surveyor]

Dietrich

Thank you for the words of encouragement. I will do exactly what you said. The wife however may have plans of her own and also may wonder what the heck is this all about. I've got to leave next weekend again for another two weeks. Maybe if she comes home, stays home for two weeks and then goes back to BR for another week the day I'm supposed to come back in? Somebody's got to clean the house and she knows that I'm no good for that. What do you think?

Bawanna - pizza recipe - turn on oven and pre-heat to 425 degrees, take pizza out of the freezer, remove wrapping, stick in oven for 21 minutes, take out and enjoy!

[Dietrich]

Dietrich

Thank you for the words of encouragement. I will do exactly what you said. The wife however may have plans of her own and also may wonder what the heck is this all about. I've got to leave next weekend again for another two weeks. Maybe if she comes home, stays home for two weeks and then goes back to BR for another week the day I'm supposed to come back in? Somebody's got to clean the house and she knows that I'm no good for that. What do you think?

Bawanna - pizza recipe - turn on oven and pre-heat to 425 degrees, take pizza out of the freezer, remove wrapping, stick in oven for 21 minutes, take out and enjoy!
Yes,if you`ve got to be gone for two weeks get her to come back and clean while you`re gone.Wouldn`t hurt for her to cook some meals for you that can be frozen and cooked in the microwave or the conventional oven when you return.You don`t want to eat pizza every night,not good for the digestive function.If she balks at your suggestions,show her who`s boss.Women are wonderful to have around but require a firm hand.Like spirited horses,they respond well to the whip and the spur.

[MW surveyor]

Dietrich

Thank you for the words of encouragement. Your advice thread is exactly what this forum has been missing.

Enjoying the silence,

MW surveyor

[yqtszhj]

Originally Posted by CPO15 http://kahrtalk.com/images/tigra/buttons/viewpost.gif (http://kahrtalk.com/showthread.php?p=72451#post72451)
Dear Dietrich; Why do they call 'em GRAPE Nuts???


That reminds me of a question that I always have after seeing the male enhancement commercials.

Interesting thought. I think if I thought of grapes after one of those commercials, I think the next thing that would come to mind would be raisins... :banplease:

[yqtszhj]

Dear Dietrich

My daughter is getting married in a mere 8 weeks. The guys good. (still alive). But my wife is already showing signs of becoming a bridezilla or whatever a mother of the bride that expects the world to stop so we can do wedding stuff. Yesterday she made me stop work on Melissa's spalted maple handles and cut out invitation announcements.:eek: Then picked apart my every effort. As usual she'll want our hovel to look like street of dreams. People know we're poor slobs, why do we have to impress people.

Is it wrong of me to want to deliver a ladder, vehicle with full tank of arab oil and a card wishing them their best on their elopement.
Actually she's already shacking up with him and its a one story house, so a freaking step stool would suffice.

On top of all that I had to pay for 5 tux rentals so we can be miserable and uncomfortable and look like trained monkeys or penquins.

Please help.

Bawanna,
I need to quit being busy and check this forum more often. I can help you with this one. Tell your daughter to tell the future groom that she just found out that she is part filipino and that being the case the wedding is paid for by the GROOM.

I have already told my daughter to use this line because she is 50% filipino and we are rounding up. The dude pays. I also told my sons they are 50% american so we are rounding that direction with them so don't come asking for any money.

I already paid when I got married so that's it for me (unless the wife tells me different and we do what she says because I don't want to end up like Donald Duck w/ no need for the towel as Dietrich co tactfully explained in a previous post :2eek:.)

Hope this helps.

[Bawanna]

I'll surely try it. Do you reckon it's retroactive for all the loot I'm already out?

[CJB]

Dear Dietrich,
When I rode my Harley from Jupiter to Okeechobee a few weeks ago, the love bugs were out, and #@$@#$ they were ALL flying straight at me (east) as I headed west. I thought I'd be in luck, and have the bugs at my back on my return ride east... but wouldn't ya know it? Them bugs turned tail and was heading west when I was goin' east.

How did they know to turn around and torment an old greybeard like me??

[yqtszhj]

I'll surely try it. Do you reckon it's retroactive for all the loot I'm already out?

I would give it a try. Be real subtle give the future son in law the reciepts and tell him that repayment any time in the next 30 days will be fine.

Also tell him because you like him you'll fill him in by telling him that not many people know this but the penalty for failing to repay promptly results in a secret filipino potion being put into his food or drink that causes the dreaded raisin syndrome to occur to a particular part of his anatomy.

Sorry Dietrich, not trying to hijack your thread here.....

[Dietrich]

Dear Dietrich,
When I rode my Harley from Jupiter to Okeechobee a few weeks ago, the love bugs were out, and #@$@#$ they were ALL flying straight at me (east) as I headed west. I thought I'd be in luck, and have the bugs at my back on my return ride east... but wouldn't ya know it? Them bugs turned tail and was heading west when I was goin' east.

How did they know to turn around and torment an old greybeard like me??
It`s fortunate for you that I happen to have personally seen the department of entomology at NC State University.I used to ride by it every day on my way to the liquor store for mom.Love bugs evolved from a strain of insects that were native to Australia.They therefore do their mating while flying in the same pattern a boomerang travels.You,you poor wretch,got caught up in the going and coming [pun intended] by sheer misfortune.Next time,sit backwards on your Harley while riding that route.The bugs won`t know which way you`re travelling and will stop to try to figure it out,leaving you with much less particulate matter to deal with.Best,Dietrich.

[CJB]

it`s fortunate for you that i happen to have personally seen the department of entomology at nc state university.i used to ride by it every day on my way to the liquor store for mom.love bugs evolved from a strain of insects that were native to australia.they therefore do their mating while flying in the same pattern a boomerang travels.you,you poor wretch,got caught up in the going and coming [pun intended] by sheer misfortune.next time,sit backwards on your harley while riding that route.the bugs won`t know which way you`re travelling and will stop to try to figure it out,leaving you with much less particulate matter to deal with.best,dietrich.

brilliant !!!!!

[Dietrich]

I would give it a try. Be real subtle give the future son in law the reciepts and tell him that repayment any time in the next 30 days will be fine.

Also tell him because you like him you'll fill him in by telling him that not many people know this but the penalty for failing to repay promptly results in a secret filipino potion being put into his food or drink that causes the dreaded raisin syndrome to occur to a particular part of his anatomy.

Sorry Dietrich, not trying to hijack your thread here.....

You,or anyone else for that matter,are welcome to hijack this thread anytime you want.I don`t own it.

[MW surveyor]

Dear Dietrich,

I see that you like to change your sig line from time to time. Is this a deliberate attempt to get your dear readers to snort coke cola onto their keyboards?

Signed,
My nose hurts

[Dietrich]

Dear Dietrich,

I see that you like to change your sig line from time to time. Is this a deliberate attempt to get your dear readers to snort coke cola onto their keyboards?

Signed,
My nose hurts

Dear My Nose Hurts,Not that I`m advocating the use of recreational substances or anything of the sort but when you hear folks talking about snorting coke,they ain`t talking about the soft drink.Don`t fret though,you ain`t the only one who has trouble with Coca Cola around here.Am I missing something or has the Coca Cola bottling company gone back to the original recipe for their "soft drink"?That would explain all this confusion.But as to your question,the answer is hemorrhoid.Best,Dietrich.

[Bawanna]

Dear Dietrich,

More of a report than a question. Your guidance and expertise worked well for me.

I took Friday off to make a 4 day weekend. After all these years I'm starting to act like a government employee.
Anyhow those whole 4 days I was whipped and abused like a step child and worked sunup to sundown in home improvement.
SWMBO made every attempt to nag me to death, son fought me every step of the way in installing the most complicated storm door and window interior wrap I've ever seen. In my construction days he would have been fired the first day. But since he was the only one available to measure and nail the high stuff I was forced to keep him on board. Being close to me for a couple days even though we live in the same house I think he saw first hand what professional nagging and I want more is all about. I think he actually started to show pity on me and became less disagreeable later in the game. Perhaps he thought I was ready to give in and cross the river (I was) and wanted to go out on a positive note. (Although there is no will)
I hurt in places I forgot I had from all the lifting, bending, cussing, and mental frustration and abuse.
But I thought of you and went to my "Happy Place" and took it all in stride.

It did throw a wet blanket on any desire I had to retire any time soon though. At least at work I get abused, and nagged by mindless people very much like SWMBO except I get a little loot for the abuse. Course it matters little since it all goes directly into the Bawanna home abuse fund to support future bawanna abuse.

I was so happy to go back to work today until I got here and saw the huge pile. Now retirement is looking better. Maybe alone as your neighbor?

[Dietrich]

Many times marital bliss has made me yearn for the sweet release that death brings.The words "Till death do us part" in the wedding vows is actually the only part that deals with hope for us poor, wretched husbands.As I have stated before,I love my wife so much that sometimes I could hit her in the head with an axe. I have read there is a sign over the gates of hell that reads "Abandon all hope ye who enter here".That sign would be better placed over the doorway to wedding chapels.Best,Dietrich.

[MikeyKahr]

Dear Dietrich,

I have a friend who has a serious hoarding "problem". He has stockpiled at least 15,000 reloaded bullets ready to go with supplies to reload at least 9,000 more. Yet he refuses to share. What possible things can a guy do to get on his friend's good side to share the wealth?

Signed,
Ammo Hungry in Hungary

[Dietrich]

Dear Dietrich,

I have a friend who has a serious hoarding "problem". He has stockpiled at least 15,000 reloaded bullets ready to go with supplies to reload at least 9,000 more. Yet he refuses to share. What possible things can a guy do to get on his friend's good side to share the wealth?

Signed,
Ammo Hungry in Hungary
I would suggest a couple of 19 year old Tahitian maidens along with airfare.

[mightymouse]

Dear Dietrich,
Sometimes I take my new Kahr into the "reading room" instead of the paper. I've read the minimal words on the slide a hundred times, yet still find it fascinating.
My wife claims I'll go blind. Does she mean shoot my eye out? Am I developing an unhealthy relationship?

Sign me
The Potty Pistolero

[Dietrich]

Dear Dietrich,
Sometimes I take my new Kahr into the "reading room" instead of the paper. I've read the minimal words on the slide a hundred times, yet still find it fascinating.
My wife claims I'll go blind. Does she mean shoot my eye out? Am I developing an unhealthy relationship?

Sign me
The Potty Pistolero

Dear PP, No unhealthy relationship at all.There are several myths about certain activities making a man go blind.As with all the others, my advice is to keep doing it until you need glasses.

[MikeyKahr]

Dear PP, No unhealthy relationship at all.There are several myths about cetain activities making a man go blind.As with all the others, my advice is to keep doing it until you need glasses.

A followup, dear Dietrich - what is your advice for those of us that already have need of glasses!?

[Dietrich]

A followup, dear Dietrich - what is your advice for those of us that already have need of glasses!?

Keep on keepin` on.Eyesight is overrated anyway.

[Bawanna]

Dear Dietrich,

Every Monday morning I find it increasingly difficult to go to work. I find myself wanting to stay in my room, covered in sawdust, and butcher wood.
I sometimes like to go outside for air and "smell the roses".
Do you think this is an attitude issue or the beginning "budding" of a major physical or mental issue?

Signed,
I'm here but I sure don't wanna be.

[wayneo1]

If your a hamster your fine, if not then I would say you just got off on the wrong floor.

[Bawanna]

If your a hamster your fine, if not then I would say you just got off on the wrong floor.

Now that's funny right there. You must be a carpenter, you hit that nail dead square. Guess I better try another floor.

[Dietrich]

Dear Dietrich,

Every Monday morning I find it increasingly difficult to go to work. I find myself wanting to stay in my room, covered in sawdust, and butcher wood.
I sometimes like to go outside for air and "smell the roses".
Do you think this is an attitude issue or the beginning "budding" of a major physical or mental issue?

Signed,
I'm here but I sure don't wanna be.


Your issue is neither attitude,mental or physical.It`s all a matter of bad luck.If you has been fortunate enough to be born into a wealthy family you would not have to work.I feel your pain as my luck isn`t very good either.As my Grandaddy Dietrich used to say,"If it were raining vaginas I`d get one with a weenie stuck in it."Well,at least that`s sort of what he said.

[Bawanna]

Your issue is neither attitude,mental or physical.It`s all a matter of bad luck.If you has been fortunate enough to be born into a wealthy family you would not have to work.I feel your pain as my luck isn`t very good either.As my Grandaddy Dietrich used to say,"If it were raining vaginas I`d get one with a weenie stuck in it."Well,at least that`s sort of what he said.

Do you think it's too late to seek a new family? Your Grandaddy Dietrich sure sounds like a wise man. I'm throwing every umbrella I can find away just in case ya know?

[wyntrout]

Even the rich and wealthy have problems. Poor Hugh got dumped at the last minute:

http://news.yahoo.com/s/nm/20110615/en_nm/us_hefner

Poor guy... he could be her great, great grandfather... age-wise!

Wynn:D

[Dietrich]

Does Hefner really expect us to believe that he can keep up with a 25 year old piece of fluff at his age? Oh,puhleeze.I guess she figured a future of walking beside him and possibly carrying his colostomy bag wasn`t for her. Money can`t buy everything it seems.

[wyntrout]

And she took his favorite dog! I guess she got what she wanted out of the relationship. :D

He had probably just gotten a good bill of health from his annual physical and the wait to be his window was gonna take longer than she figured... or bargained for.

Wynn:)

[johnatw]

Dear Dietrich,
My wife asked what I wanted for my birthday and I said I always wanted a Kahr K-9. So on the big day she gave me a freaking retired police dog. So now I have to make a decision, the dog eats less, and is better behaved than my wife, but she is handy to have around. Should I keep the dog, or keep both?
Conflicted.

[Dietrich]

Dear Dietrich,
My wife asked what I wanted for my birthday and I said I always wanted a Kahr K-9. So on the big day she gave me a freaking retired police dog. So now I have to make a decision, the dog eats less, and is better behaved than my wife, but she is handy to have around. Should I keep the dog, or keep both?
Conflicted.

Dear Conflicted,This is,of course,a choice that only you can make.Luckily for you though,I can offer some advice.In these tough economic times a handyman will work cheaper than usual and a dog can be put down if it gets to be a pain in the rump without your going to jail.Try putting your wife down if you don`t believe me.Even with the most understanding of judges you`ll still get several years in prison.Of course,you could take her on a vacation to a South American country and do away with her.There are places down there where you probably wouldn`t have to pay a fine over about fifty dollars... American.

[swampman]

Dear Dietrich,most nights I go to bed with itchy butt,and I wake up with brown finger.please help.This is very stressful.:)

[Dietrich]

Dear Dietrich,most nights I go to bed with itchy butt,and I wake up with brown finger.please help.This is very stressful.:)
Simplicity at its` best,my dear Swampman.Use your thumb instead.

[jeepster09]

Dear Dietrich.....

Cuddles hasn't been so cuddly lately, any thoughts on getting Cuddles back into being cuddly?

http://i691.photobucket.com/albums/vv276/jeepster09/ScaryTeddyBear.jpg

[MW surveyor]

Dear Dietrich,

I am beginning to believe that there is something to that story about things that rearrange physical items that Stephen King wrote about. Cases in point, can't find my 8 round mag for my CW9 at the present time and last night I broke down my 1911 for cleaning and now can't find the recoil spring plug. I know the mag was put in the small handgun safe and now it's not there. The recoil spring plug was on the table last night, this morning it is missing and I can't find it anywhere.

I am really getting concerned that those guys that rearrange things as in the King novel are getting a bit out of hand. What should I do.

Freaking out in Houston

BTW - Cuddles ^^^ is seriously bothering me.

[Bawanna]

+1 on Cuddles, I think I'm traumatized. Cujo of the bear world.

I always fear leaving a gun apart over night for fear I'll forget how it goes back together. I'd probably put it back together and not notice the spring plug missing.

No parts left over, gotta be right, right?

Sure hope Dear Dietrich shows up soon, Cuddles needs to be dealt with.

[MW surveyor]

Did you know that an empty 45 cal case is the same id as the spring plug. Unfortunately, the case head is just a bit too big.

[Bawanna]

Did you know that an empty 45 cal case is the same id as the spring plug. Unfortunately, the case head is just a bit too big.

Your scaring me almost as much as Cuddles! Reckon your dog ate it? Need the number for Brownells. I think I have a spare at home too.

Otherwise break out the file, that brass files real easy, don't use that one for reloads anymore.

[MW surveyor]

No dog in the house probably some other critters (hope it's not Cuddles). No need for the Brownells number yet, the darn thing will probably show up sometime. I think I can chuck the case in my drill press. That would make it more rounded and be easier.

[OldLincoln]

I like the caption under Cuddle's picture. I always wondered what a lifetime NRA member looks like - now I know!

[O'Dell]

No parts left over, gotta be right, right?



I always have parts left over - same with cars, motorcycles, alarm clocks, and toasters. So far, no problems. I figure if I take something apart often enough, I'll have enough parts left over to build another one.

[Bawanna]

No parts left over, gotta be right, right?



I always have parts left over - same with cars, motorcycles, alarm clocks, and toasters. So far, no problems. I figure if I take something apart often enough, I'll have enough parts left over to build another one.

Certainly sounds like sound logic to me.

Just gave me an idea of inventing a rabbit gun. You buy one put it in your safe and next week you have 5. The following week you got 20 and so on. The gun that keeps on giving if you will.

Sure safe alot of loot if I could make this work.
Be an excellent stimulus to the safe manufactures and what a nightmare for the gun grabbers. I like it alot.

[MW surveyor]

Dear Dietrich,

I am beginning to believe that there is something to that story about things that rearrange physical items that Stephen King wrote about. Cases in point, can't find my 8 round mag for my CW9 at the present time and last night I broke down my 1911 for cleaning and now can't find the recoil spring plug. I know the mag was put in the small handgun safe and now it's not there. The recoil spring plug was on the table last night, this morning it is missing and I can't find it anywhere.

I am really getting concerned that those guys that rearrange things as in the King novel are getting a bit out of hand. What should I do.

Freaking out in Houston

BTW - Cuddles ^^^ is seriously bothering me.

Dear Dietrich,

This is to inform you that after about an hour after writing to you, the recoil spring plug showed up 10 feet away from where it was put last night and buried under a stack of reports that I have been doing. The weird part is, I HAVE NOT MOVED THIS STACK FOR THE LAST TWO DAYS.

They still haven't brought back my 8 round mag yet even though I've left the door to the safe open.

Still FREAKING OUT in Houston.

Cuddles still bothers me......Please make him stop.

[Dietrich]

Dear Dietrich.....

Cuddles hasn't been so cuddly lately, any thoughts on getting Cuddles back into being cuddly?

http://i691.photobucket.com/albums/vv276/jeepster09/ScaryTeddyBear.jpg
Wow!! Cuddles bears [pardon the pun] a striking resemblance to my ex mother in law except he looks friendlier.Smarter too ! One thing that might make him more cuddly is to put him in with your whites when you pre-soak them.After that,let him soak for about an hour in a diluted mixture of water,vinegar and Massengills douche. Rinse him well,fluff dry and spray him down with FDS feminine hygene spray.That should do the trick.No need to thank me.

[Dietrich]

Dear Dietrich,

This is to inform you that after about an hour after writing to you, the recoil spring plug showed up 10 feet away from where it was put last night and buried under a stack of reports that I have been doing. The weird part is, I HAVE NOT MOVED THIS STACK FOR THE LAST TWO DAYS.

They still haven't brought back my 8 round mag yet even though I've left the door to the safe open.

Still FREAKING OUT in Houston.

Cuddles still bothers me......Please make him stop.

Your 8 round mag is in the last place you would look.If you haven`t found it yet you haven`t looked in the last place.And don`t worry about Cuddles.I have it on good authority that he is really gay.He just likes to look Butch.

[MW surveyor]

Dear Dietrich,

Thank you for your advice. I will continue to look for the last place of where the 8 round mag would be. Also thank you for the information on Cuddles and your reply to jeepster as what you suggested seems reasonable.

No longer freaking out in Houston

[Bawanna]

Well looking at Cuddles more closely I think I know where my teeth and my drool cup went. This is a good day.

You are my rock Dear Dietrich. A funny rock, but a rock none the less.

[jeepster09]

Wow!! Cuddles bears [pardon the pun] a striking resemblance to my ex mother in law except he looks friendlier.Smarter too ! One thing that might make him more cuddly is to put him in with your whites when you pre-soak them.After that,let him soak for about an hour in a diluted mixture of water,vinegar and Massengills douche. Rinse him well,fluff dry and spray him down with FDS feminine hygene spray.That should do the trick.No need to thank me.


I took your advice.....but possibly let him soak to long. What should I do now?


http://i691.photobucket.com/albums/vv276/jeepster09/rockmonkey.jpg

[Dietrich]

I took your advice.....but possibly let him soak to long. What should I do now?


http://i691.photobucket.com/albums/vv276/jeepster09/rockmonkey.jpg
Nothing.Why would you want to do anything?He`s like a Glock.Perfection.

[Bawanna]

Dear Dietrich,

As everyone no doubt knows due to all my recent power whining and senseless talk lately my daughter gets married tomorrow. Feeding and takng care of numerous folks from out of town and the big rehearsal on and on , I surely will be insane soon.
Heres my most recent problem. They are making me wear one of them outfits that makes you look like a penquin. So I had to try it on today to make sure its fits my lean mean shape which it did BUT, no belt and no belt loops on the pants!:eek:

Hows a man suppose to pack his Cbob on his belt like a man without no belt loops. What do this penquin outfit renter/robbers think?

I have my Galco Don Johnson Fagamie Vise shoulder rig but it ain't the same.

Should I call off the wedding?

[mightymouse]

Dear Dietrich,

As everyone no doubt knows due to all my recent power whining and senseless talk lately my daughter gets married tomorrow. Feeding and takng care of numerous folks from out of town and the big rehearsal on and on , I surely will be insane soon.
Heres my most recent problem. They are making me wear one of them outfits that makes you look like a penquin. So I had to try it on today to make sure its fits my lean mean shape which it did BUT, no belt and no belt loops on the pants!:eek:

Hows a man suppose to pack his Cbob on his belt like a man without no belt loops. What do this penquin outfit renter/robbers think?

I have my Galco Don Johnson Fagamie Vise shoulder rig but it ain't the same.

Should I call off the wedding?
Could be worse. At least you won't be wearing some strapless backless pink chiffon foo-foo dress.....
You saying open carry is not an option?
Good luck and congrats!

[TucsonMTB]

As everyone no doubt knows due to all my recent power whining and senseless talk lately my daughter gets married tomorrow.
Congratulations to the distinguished father of the bride. That would be you, Bawanna. :)

Here's hoping all goes well and that your latest efforts to teach the groom the proper inflection for the requisite "Yes, dear" mantra are not in vain.

You will make a great penguin, even with that 45 strapped to one talon, err ankle. :D

[CJB]

Dear Dietrich,
A long time ago, in a galaxy far away, they had, faster than light spaceships, all sorts of skooters, runabouts and carry-all vehicles that floated in the air, cities that floated in the air, humanoid robots, clone armies, droids, ray guns, plasma guns, light sabres, holographic projection, floating barstools, gals with three boobs, a princess that didn't look half bad in a harem outfit (in spite of her stupid hair arrangement), and they could put fully functional mechanical limbs back where the organic ones got unceremoniously removed.

With all that technology*, why is it Darth Vader still sounded like the forge bellows from a blacksmith shop when he breathed?



*especially the three boob'd gals

[Dietrich]

Dear Dietrich,
A long time ago, in a galaxy far away, they had, faster than light spaceships, all sorts of skooters, runabouts and carry-all vehicles that floated in the air, cities that floated in the air, humanoid robots, clone armies, droids, ray guns, plasma guns, light sabres, holographic projection, floating barstools, gals with three boobs, a princess that didn't look half bad in a harem outfit (in spite of her stupid hair arrangement), and they could put fully functional mechanical limbs back where the organic ones got unceremoniously removed.

With all that technology*, why is it Darth Vader still sounded like the forge bellows from a blacksmith shop when he breathed?



*especially the three boob'd gals
As you well know,nobody liked to play "dress up" like ol Darth.Quite a bit went on behind the scenes with those Storm Troopers from what I`ve heard.Darth always liked to have an air of mystique surrounding his persona and the raspy,deep tones of his voice threw many an Empire dandy into a dark side frenzy.Darth`s voice was manufactured by a device in his helmet apparatus.In real life he sounded like Richard Simmons.

P.S. The only women with three boobs were the ones who were forced to have test tube triplets.

[Bawanna]

Could be worse. At least you won't be wearing some strapless backless pink chiffon foo-foo dress.....
You saying open carry is not an option?
Good luck and congrats!

Oh heck yeah, I forgot, maybe I'll wear that little chiffon number! I wear the backless part to the front for a plunging neck line. That'll work.

I guess my PM45 on the ankle will have to suffice. SWMBO wants a picture of me and my two sons each holding a shotgun with the groom so ain't like we'll be totally nekkied or anything.

I think sunday will be one of the best days of my life. All this pomp and circumstance over and done with. A few days to get ready for fishing, then one more wedding as a guest only (sweet), Then maybe a normal life.

More kahrtalk time and sawdust....................................

[CJB]

Dear Dietrich,

My neighbor has installed a spotlight that shines through my bathroom window, and reflects off the bathroom mirror right onto my bed where I sleep. Or try to, as the light keeps me awake. The price of ammo being what it is, I'm spending a fortune disabling the light. I've been thinking about alternate means of annoyance in revenge. The question is - should take the top off his sewer cleanout and fill that poo-line with Great Stuff spray insulation, or 20 lbs of kitty litter? Which will have him brushing his teeth in a sink full of refuse faster?

[JFootin]

Look out, CJB! They can do computer forensics and find out you posted this! I'd come up with a completely different plan, but don't tell us about it! Don't do any computer searches regarding it, either. Remember Casey Anthony (or was it her mother? NOT!)

[Dietrich]

Dear Dietrich,

My neighbor has installed a spotlight that shines through my bathroom window, and reflects off the bathroom mirror right onto my bed where I sleep. Or try to, as the light keeps me awake. The price of ammo being what it is, I'm spending a fortune disabling the light. I've been thinking about alternate means of annoyance in revenge. The question is - should take the top off his sewer cleanout and fill that poo-line with Great Stuff spray insulation, or 20 lbs of kitty litter? Which will have him brushing his teeth in a sink full of refuse faster?
Well,a number of alternative solutions come to mind.You could try shutting the bathroom door,or for a fun time for all,you could use different body parts and have a shadow puppet show.Blinds,drapes or simple construction paper over your bedroom window would work.But if you`re hell-bent on revenge,feminine napkins stuffed in his sewer line just as it leaves his home will plug things up nicely,not to mention quickly.

[Dietrich]

Dear Dietrich,

As everyone no doubt knows due to all my recent power whining and senseless talk lately my daughter gets married tomorrow. Feeding and takng care of numerous folks from out of town and the big rehearsal on and on , I surely will be insane soon.
Heres my most recent problem. They are making me wear one of them outfits that makes you look like a penquin. So I had to try it on today to make sure its fits my lean mean shape which it did BUT, no belt and no belt loops on the pants!:eek:

Hows a man suppose to pack his Cbob on his belt like a man without no belt loops. What do this penquin outfit renter/robbers think?

I have my Galco Don Johnson Fagamie Vise shoulder rig but it ain't the same.

Should I call off the wedding?
Absolutely not.If you call off the wedding the Swede will make you go through all this again.Maybe next time clear across the continent.Weddings are no time for men to be trying to push women around.They are truly in their element and we are like fish out of water.More than once I have found myself transfixed by the glare of a Baptist woman for some indescretion I commited during someone`s nuptials.My advice to you is to put a derringer in your cumberbund or lacking that,your front pocket.If you are attacked by more than two assailants,use one of the shots for yourself.At least then you won`t have to hang around to pose for the pictures.

[TheTman]

Best of luck to the young couple Bawanna. I hope she picked her self a real good 2nd admendment loving guy that will make you a great son in law. Perhaps as a condition of his taking your daughter away, he should have to provide all your ammo for a period of time, plus maybe throw in a gun you've been lusting after.

[MikeyKahr]

Best of luck to the young couple Bawanna. I hope she picked her self a real good 2nd admendment loving guy that will make you a great son in law.

My sentiments exactly. And if he's not a real good 2A loving guy yet, he sure will be soon enough!!

Many heartfelt congratulations to you and to my favorite Canadian Swede, Bawanna. I'm sure it will be a bittersweet moment tomorrow with lots of different thoughts and emotions. It's okay to shed a tear or two, you're paying for the shindig, you can darn well do whatever you please (with the Swede and former Ms. Bawanna's permission, of course!).

Yes, I know, the CBOB won't be able to be on your hip, but I'm sure the PM45 on the ankle will suffice for such a formal event and surely you'll have plenty of backup if it would be needed to clear KahrTalk wedding crashers (hear any loud Harley's tonight? Smell Baskin-Robbins tonight?).

My suggestion to you is take deep breaths and smile often tomorrow, and enjoy the joyous event. And also look forward to the joyous event coming to a close soon enough. Don't think about how much work it's all been or how much money it has all cost you, just enjoy the joyous moment for what it is. And get through the day best you can. And imagine yourself in a sea of sawdust soon enough. And be a happy camper for the wifey and the daughter. They'll make the minor inconvenience of the penguin suit and lack of a CBOB up to you in some way. Maybe let you make a big pile of sawdust without bothering you for a few hours one day.

To sum up this over-verbose post, what I'm trying to say is enjoy tomorrow.....and get through it! May your day tomorrow be full of blessings and a wonderful time for everyone, and especially for your daughter (and yes, for cousin Jim-bob too who has no idea what's waiting for him when he meets his Midwest cousins!!) Have a wonderful day, Bawanna!!! And we're looking forward to seeing you in the penguin suit pic!! :w00t:

[Bawanna]

Thanks for the kind sentiments guys. I fully intend to do as you suggest and just have as good a day as possible. I've been bossed, nagged and whooped for 3 solid days and off and on for a month but the end is in sight.

He's a good boy and and he's proved he can take care of my little girl and support her in a manner to which she's accustomed which isn't much to brag about but I got er dun. I was relieved at the practice run today that they don't ask to give her away, so I consider it more a a long term loan.


He's a North Carolina boy and has alot of family out here and it's kind of nice to talk to people that talk right. I have some cousins from Missouri here and they talk right too so its pretty nice.

I laugh when my daughters friends asked her how I liked and got along with the new son in law. She always told them well he's still alive so my dad must like him alot.

Probably won't hear from me much tomorrow, hopefully I'll get some quality kahrtalk time on Sunday.

[aray]

Dear Dietrich,

My wife's not very tall and I'm thinking we need to buy this to see over other traffic:

http://www.wimp.com/armoredvehicle/

Do you think I should let her borrow the new car when it rains, or just get her an umbrella for her bike?

[Dietrich]

Dear Dietrich,

My wife's not very tall and I'm thinking we need to buy this to see over other traffic:

http://www.wimp.com/armoredvehicle/

Do you think I should let her borrow the new car when it rains, or just get her an umbrella for her bike?

Thanks for an easy question Ray.Given the vast amount of funds at your disposal,being a doctor and whatnot,why not just buy a his and her pair?I personally plan to buy several and give them away as Christmas presents.What a neat gift idea.I can always count on you for innovation.

[Bawanna]

Thanks for an easy question Ray.Given the vast amount of funds at your disposal,being a doctor and whatnot,why not just buy a his and her pair?I personally plan to buy several and give them away as Christmas presents.What a neat gift idea.I can always count on you for innovation.

I've been a very very good boy this year Dear Dietrich, just felt the need to tell ya so.

[JFootin]

Dear Dietrich,

My wife's not very tall and I'm thinking we need to buy this to see over other traffic:

http://www.wimp.com/armoredvehicle/

Do you think I should let her borrow the new car when it rains, or just get her an umbrella for her bike?

YEAH! I want one! I'd have to install an elevator to get in and out of it. But WTH, it's just money!

[JFootin]

My sentiments exactly. And if he's not a real good 2A loving guy yet, he sure will be soon enough!!

Many heartfelt congratulations to you and to my favorite Canadian Swede, Bawanna. I'm sure it will be a bittersweet moment tomorrow with lots of different thoughts and emotions. It's okay to shed a tear or two, you're paying for the shindig, you can darn well do whatever you please (with the Swede and former Ms. Bawanna's permission, of course!).

Yes, I know, the CBOB won't be able to be on your hip, but I'm sure the PM45 on the ankle will suffice for such a formal event and surely you'll have plenty of backup if it would be needed to clear KahrTalk wedding crashers (hear any loud Harley's tonight? Smell Baskin-Robbins tonight?).

My suggestion to you is take deep breaths and smile often tomorrow, and enjoy the joyous event. And also look forward to the joyous event coming to a close soon enough. Don't think about how much work it's all been or how much money it has all cost you, just enjoy the joyous moment for what it is. And get through the day best you can. And imagine yourself in a sea of sawdust soon enough. And be a happy camper for the wifey and the daughter. They'll make the minor inconvenience of the penguin suit and lack of a CBOB up to you in some way. Maybe let you make a big pile of sawdust without bothering you for a few hours one day.

To sum up this over-verbose post, what I'm trying to say is enjoy tomorrow.....and get through it! May your day tomorrow be full of blessings and a wonderful time for everyone, and especially for your daughter (and yes, for cousin Jim-bob too who has no idea what's waiting for him when he meets his Midwest cousins!!) Have a wonderful day, Bawanna!!! And we're looking forward to seeing you in the penguin suit pic!! :w00t:

Amen. Many blessings for long life and happiness for the younguns, and for you, the wife and the rest of your clan. :yo:

[O'Dell]

Dear Dietrich,

My neighbor has installed a spotlight that shines through my bathroom window, and reflects off the bathroom mirror right onto my bed where I sleep. Or try to, as the light keeps me awake. The price of ammo being what it is, I'm spending a fortune disabling the light. I've been thinking about alternate means of annoyance in revenge. The question is - should take the top off his sewer cleanout and fill that poo-line with Great Stuff spray insulation, or 20 lbs of kitty litter? Which will have him brushing his teeth in a sink full of refuse faster?

Years ago when I lived in Louisville, I got into a feud with my next-door neighbor. He was a real yard nut and wasn't happy if his landscaping wasn't the best in the county. One Saturday I noticed that he left his garage door open. I went to the store, bought some herbicide and mixed it with his fertilizer. His yard completely failed that year, and he couldn't figure out why. The more he worked, the worst it got. I laughed ever time I saw him out there spreading more fertilizer.

[Dietrich]

Years ago when I lived in Louisville, I got into a feud with my next-door neighbor. He was a real yard nut and wasn't happy if his landscaping wasn't the best in the county. One Saturday I noticed that he left his garage door open. I went to the store, bought some herbicide and mixed it with his fertilizer. His yard completely failed that year, and he couldn't figure out why. The more he worked, the worst it got. I laughed ever time I saw him out there spreading more fertilizer.

Now that`s just plain mean.I`m proud of you.

[jlottmc]

Dear Dietrich,
I think I have created a monster. The wife wants to shoot more and more of my toys, and I may have to buy her some more. Thing about it is I can't afford to feed my habit, let alone get hooked, and feed hers too. What shall I do?

Signed
The confused and broke shootist.

BTW, ladies pads are a real ***** to get out of toilets (don't ask how I know)

[Dietrich]

Dear Dietrich,
I think I have created a monster. The wife wants to shoot more and more of my toys, and I may have to buy her some more. Thing about it is I can't afford to feed my habit, let alone get hooked, and feed hers too. What shall I do?

Signed
The confused and broke shootist.

BTW, ladies pads are a real ***** to get out of toilets (don't ask how I know)Dear confused and broke,
You know as well as I that you have to feed her habit before your own.There was something about it in the Preamble to the US Constitution.The part about insuring domestic tranquility I believe.My best advice is for you to take a part time job with a plumbing repair company.As you stated,you have some experience in that area as do I.My father owned a plumbing company and started me out at twelve years old in the repair end of it.The man he had me working with told me that the old man said for him to work me like a rented mule and he did.I remember I was down in a manhole one time and something came gushing out of one of the pipes.If I hadn`t had my mouth open it would have hit me right in the face.

[jlottmc]

Yes I have gone fishing in the bowl many a time. Never fun that. Maybe I can break the monster before the little monster gets into this as well.

[JFootin]

I beg to differ,madam.True,at one time there was nothing in Atlantic [aka.Dietrichville ] but now I am here.The women want me,the men are jealous of me and the fish fear me. Not to mention the ducks.I will admit it is a bit remote.We are so far back in the sticks that the radios still play WW II broadcasts.I was born and lived in Raleigh until we moved here last August.Either place still beats Charlotte in my book.

My home beats yours! I was born and raised in Asheville, moved a couple of years ago to Burnsville, up in the mountains about 35 miles North of Asheville and not too far from Mount Mitchell, the tallest mountain East of the Mississippi. The days aren't too hot, it cools down every night, and the really bad weather usually bypasses us. The folks are very laid back and friendly. You can still leave your house doors unlocked. The water is good, the hunting is good, the fishing is good, and living is cheap! Far better, IMHO, than anywhere else!

[JFootin]

OMG Dietrich,

I think I just soiled my pants have reading you last words of wisdom I am still ROFL!

Me, too! You know, they need to add a Smiley that is open mouth laughing and rolling off a chair and onto the floor! Somehow, I missed reading this all the way from the beginning, so I have been doing so for the last hour. I have a hand towel in my lap to wipe the tears of laughter from my eyes, repeatedly! You all have to be the most hilarious collection of people on the Internet! :der::9::crazy::roll:

I tip my hat to ya! :yo:

[Denny M]

Sounds like a great place for an old worn out engineer to retire. I need to sit on a porch overlooking a lake and let the drool run down my chin. I am in.

[CJB]

Sounds like a great place for an old worn out engineer to retire.

We old engineers do not wear out. We apply corrections to an intrinsically unstable design!

[JFootin]

We old engineers do not wear out. We apply corrections to an intrinsically unstable design!

Exactly! I am always critiquing bad designs in things. It's first nature for me. My mind, which understands the laws of physics and has an intrinsic knack for good solutions, sees the obvious problems in the design of things.

IMO, a lot of the people who call themselves engineers have missed their calling. They just don't have the talent for good design, so there are innumerable products that display poor or so-so design talent. But most people don't see the design flaws at all, and just think everything is fine. Oh, well. :mad:

[JFootin]

Sounds like a great place for an old worn out engineer to retire. I need to sit on a porch overlooking a lake and let the drool run down my chin. I am in.

Well, I try to stay a little more active than that! No drool collecting on my chin! I wish I had a place overlooking a peaceful mountain lake—the kind that doesn't allow anything except little electric trolling motors on boats. But, I am living in an apartment in a small town.

My niece and her husband own a restored farm house that sits beside a beautiful small mountain river a few miles outside the town. There are big old shade trees, good fishing, and the pleasant gentle sound of the water flowing over the rocks. I need to broach the subject of getting their permission to practice shooting there. I hear she is a little anti-gun, even though she was in the military and then was some sort of a spy for a while (she won't discuss it).

[CJB]

Exactly! I am always critiquing bad designs in things.:mad:

I was referring to this human body we call home... !!!!

[JFootin]

I was referring to this human body we call home... !!!!

Oh. LOL! Yeah, that too! :) One of my critiques: why did the creator make the prostate so that it surrounds the urethra? :confused: Why couldn't it be off to the side so that, when it grows as we get older, it doesn't cause urinary problems? And then there's baldness, and hair growing other places it doesn't belong. :mad:

Yep! There's a lot for us to critique! :rolleyes:

[Jeremiah/Az]

I have nothing against engineers, but I play poker 2 or 3 times a week with 2 retired engineers among several others. They are both so regimented in their way of playing that almost everyone can read their hands. They almost always lose. Good guys both & we can always use their money!:D

[Bawanna]

I knew an engineer in my youth and sometimes he'd let me ride and toot the horn and everything. Even got me one of them engineer hats too.

[Bawanna]

Dear Dietrich.

I find myself overwhelmed (easy for a person with a non full functioning brain) with negativity and dispare at work, and losing hope in our countries chances of good things happening in our next election. Please don't turn this into a political conversation, I think that's what has me in a downward spiral as it is.

My question is in reacquiring my taste for good Scotch, is it unmanly to add a wee bit of water to the good stuff or should I just get a bottle of the lesser good stuff till my taste buds reacquire their taste. I do note that after 3 or 4 it don't seem to matter as it taste kind of like kool aid.

I do seem to benefit from it's medicinal value, why today I can't even remember what I had with it for lunch. Chiefs been eyeballing me though, course he always does that when I'm happy. Wonders what I'm up to.

Yours happily in the afternoon

bawanna

[TucsonMTB]

My question is in reacquiring my taste for good Scotch, is it unmanly to add a wee bit of water to the good stuff or should I just get a bottle of the lesser good stuff till my taste buds reacquire their taste. I do note that after 3 or 4 it don't seem to matter as it taste kind of like kool aid.
http://www.klwines.com/images/skus/620016x.jpg
http://cdn4.masterofmalt.com/whiskies/p-1987/balvenie-double-wood-12-year-old-whisky.jpg
Until Dietrich can provide the definitive answer please allow me to share the wisdom of my usual "Brit" drinking partner whose tastes prompted the purchase of this bottle. Phil suggests, "a wee splash of water in your tumbler" to "wake up the flavors". It seems to work. ;)

[Bawanna]

http://cdn4.masterofmalt.com/whiskies/p-1987/balvenie-double-wood-12-year-old-whisky.jpg
Until Dietrich can provide the definitive answer please allow me to share the wisdom of my usual "Brit" drinking partner whose tastes prompted the purchase of this bottle. Phil suggests, "a wee splash of water in your tumbler" to "wake up the flavors". It seems to work. ;)

I'm feeling a little better already. I think I might go add a wee splash andwake up the flowers (?huh?) oh flavors right this very minute.
Well after a little while, I'm gonna go freshen up the Cbob and the PM45, they've been carried far and long and cared for short and little.
Gotta show em some love. The great teleprompter is on the tube, always gives me the urge to show them love, or reload, or buy guns..........

[mr surveyor]

nothing like a splash or three of high quality, cheap tequila to smooth out the rough spots... I finally found my dirty glass under the pool table;)

[TucsonMTB]

nothing like a splash or three of high quality, cheap tequila to smooth out the rough spots... I finally found my dirty glass under the pool table;)
And what, pray tell, were you doing under the pool table? A man's gotta retain his dignity, ya' know . . .

Except maybe me . . . who has none. :001_tt2:

[mr surveyor]

Tuscon


You may have forgotten, but I lost my dirty glass somewhere in Rick's Place a few month ago;)

surv

[CJB]

Dear Dietrich,

My girlfriend Elizabeth is getting out of hand. She has sailed from the UK to the Caribbean twice, solo both times, once in a 29 foot sailboat, the other was a 36 foot sailboat. She is a pilot of single engine planes (VFR), she is a hot air balloon pilot, she is a rock and ice climber, white water kayaking enthusiast, and has scaled Mt McKinley and other assorted Alaskan peaks. She enjoys deep sea (hard helmet) diving and is also a musher and amateur motorcycle racer.

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v214/bandersnatchreverb/SL270094.jpg
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v214/bandersnatchreverb/SL270082.jpg

Now she wants me to jump from a perfectly good airplane, sky "diving" she calls it. For a sky "diving" date like that, is it proper etiquette to invite the lady for dinner and drinks afterward? Is a casual place ok?

[Bawanna]

Wow, I can't wait to hear Dietrichs answer to your issue. Is that plane a Beaver, much sought after and cherished by bush pilots in the north country.
Good plane I'm told, lots of manual and very little electrical. I'd not jump out if I was in your shoes. But I'll leave that to the renouned Mr. Dietrich.

[mr surveyor]

even though I refuse to fly commercial now, I would still not jump out of a perfectly good ariplane, nor would I want to fly in a contraption that's trying to sling it's own wings off:)

keepin my feet on the dirt (on top of the dirt)

[CJB]

Is that plane a Beaver

There's a Beaver joke there somewhere, and I hope somebody tells it!

[Bawanna]

I'm sure there is or I'd probably not be a part of it but there is a Beaver airplane. I think it's a Dehaviland. Ask your girlfriend (cute by the way), I bet she knows of it.

A real down and dirty workhorse. Hauls alot of weight, lots of power, not as much to go wrong as some of the more modern aircraft.

[CJB]

I'll do that!

.....Lizzy... Bawanna wants to know about your Beaver....

I'm sure she'll instantly turn the conversation to aircraft.

[mr surveyor]

I ain't touchin' the beaver/bush discussion.

Nothin' to see here... move along;)

Bawanna is baiting a trap. I refuse to step in it. Nope, I ain't gonna touch it. Too much subliminal information involved. I refuse to acknowledge it. Not prudent. I'm going to bed now, and will not put on my Depends (I hope I wake up in time)

surv

ps.... Dear Dietrich, am I nuts?

[Bawanna]

I'll do that!

.....Lizzy... Bawanna wants to know about your Beaver....

I'm sure she'll instantly turn the conversation to aircraft.

Oh boy this isn't going well. Do ask her just like that, in fact tell her you posted a picture of her Beaver here. I'm curious what answer or response you'll get. I'm far enough away I'm probably ok. I hope.

[Bawanna]

http://www.google.com/imgres?q=dehavilland+beaver&hl=en&biw=1024&bih=503&gbv=2&tbm=isch&tbnid=KLrmtUnNr3opuM:&imgrefurl=http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:De_Havilland_Canada_DHC-2_Beaver_(N130WA).jpg&docid=4jVyYKyruBqF5M&w=1024&h=411&ei=PixwTtrMPJLUiALN74mRBw&zoom=1

I'm sure now looking at some pics that the plane she's leaning against is a beaver.

[Dietrich]

She seems to be a high spirited and adventurous young woman.As to where you sky dive or not is a matter of choice.I have preferred another type of diving since I was a young man but this is not the place to go into that.Falling to my death has never really appealed to me until lately.Mrs.Dietrich is rapidly becoming a woman that all Hell couldn`t amuse and I find myself longing for the sweet release of death more and more.Do they make you wear a parachute or is it optional?

[Dietrich]

Dear Dietrich.

I find myself overwhelmed (easy for a person with a non full functioning brain) with negativity and dispare at work, and losing hope in our countries chances of good things happening in our next election. Please don't turn this into a political conversation, I think that's what has me in a downward spiral as it is.

My question is in reacquiring my taste for good Scotch, is it unmanly to add a wee bit of water to the good stuff or should I just get a bottle of the lesser good stuff till my taste buds reacquire their taste. I do note that after 3 or 4 it don't seem to matter as it taste kind of like kool aid.

I do seem to benefit from it's medicinal value, why today I can't even remember what I had with it for lunch. Chiefs been eyeballing me though, course he always does that when I'm happy. Wonders what I'm up to.

Yours happily in the afternoon

bawanna
In the area of fine whisky I have little expertise.Vomit tastes the same whether it`s cheap rotgut or 30 year old scotch.I don`t drink no drams anymore so I`ll let you guys bat this one around on your own.

[jlottmc]

Jump out of the dang plane. It's good for ya. Wish I had time to get re-certified these days, of course I still want to fly one of those body wings too.

[MW surveyor]

Dear Dietrich,

A few months ago I asked for your help in finding my 8 round mag for my CW9 and you said that it would be in the last place I looked. You were both right and wrong on this.

Last night while watching Top Shot and with nothing better to do during the commercials I decided to really clean out my range bag. Too much extra junk in there like about 6 pairs of safety glasses, loose 9 mm and 45 once fired brass, etc. Much to my surprise, I found my 8 round mag under the plywood bottom. :D

What gets me is that this was the first place I looked when I could not find it during the first search. Plus, I've checked this area more than once in the last two months. :confused:

So what do you think? Is this part of a Twilight Zone episode or am I loosing my mind?

Dazed and confused

[Dietrich]

The answer is patently obvious.It moves at will.Don`t be surprised if you wake up in the middle of the night and find it glaring at you on the pillow next to your head.

[MW surveyor]

The answer is patently obvious.It moves at will.Don`t be surprised if you wake up in the middle of the night and find it glaring at you on the pillow next to your head.


This is exactly what I thought! I also have other things just like this mag that also do not stay where I put them. Oh well, just as long as there is no horse or fish head in the bed I guess I'll be OK.

I don't think I po'd jocko lately, so I'm pretty much ok.

[Popeye]

Dear Dietrich

I'm 65 years old and I've been seeing these Cialis commercials on TV and just noticed they say if I have an erection that last for Four hours or more I should see my doctor. Now they tell me. Do you think it would be OK to just take a picture of it and send it to him and save the money, time,and embarassment of an office visit? TIA. Popeye

[Dietrich]

Dear Dietrich

I'm 65 years old and I've been seeing these Cialis commercials on TV and just noticed they say if I have an erection that last for Four hours or more I should see my doctor. Now they tell me. Do you think it would be OK to just take a picture of it and send it to him and save the money, time,and embarassment of an office visit? TIA. Popeye
Tsk,tsk,Popeye.That`s no way to handle this situation.The proper solution is to get yourself a female doctor.Let her handle it.[Pun Intended]

[Bawanna]

Dang, he's good.

[Popeye]

Thank you oh wise one. I'm on the phone with her now and she making a house call. :D

[JFootin]

You know, I wish they had captured Osama Bin Ladin alive and put him in a cage down at GITMO, for one reason: so that a soldier could come by several times a day and say "Hey, Osama Bin Ladin, yo mamma - bin proddin'! I'm a poet and don't know it; make it rhyme every time!" :D

[Bawanna]

Thank you oh wise one. I'm on the phone with her now and she making a house call. :D

I hope you got a good peep hole. I tried that one time and this is what knocked on my door.

http://www.google.com/imgres?q=ugly+woman&hl=en&biw=1024&bih=571&gbv=2&tbm=isch&tbnid=9GKCcniFehJ1hM:&imgrefurl=http://thebrasshorn.wordpress.com/2011/02/23/jen-looks-****-world-in-crisis/&docid=xewfWYKeTLYVnM&w=150&h=175&ei=UcxwTsurEeXTiALIofyHBw&zoom=1

[jlottmc]

Dear Dietrich,
I think I have found my new love, problem is she scares some people (see above) and I still have the problem of the old one. What should I do?

signed
not looking to take a man's girl from him, but ain't skeered.

[Popeye]

Yes Dr. Irma Blowenstein came over and got me all straightened out so to speak and back to normal. She came highly recommended by a friend of mine who also had the same problem. It has been rumored that Irma in her prime could suck start a Harley Davidson Fat Boy.:banplease:

[Dietrich]

Dear Dietrich,
I think I have found my new love, problem is she scares some people (see above) and I still have the problem of the old one. What should I do?

signed
not looking to take a man's girl from him, but ain't skeered.
Simple.Move to Utah and become a Morman.Everything should work out well for you and your wives.

[Dietrich]

Yes Dr. Irma Blowenstein came over and got me all straightened out so to speak and back to normal. She came highly recommended by a friend of mine who also had the same problem. It has been rumored that Irma in her prime could suck start a Harley Davidson Fat Boy.:banplease:
Ah yes,Irma.Word has it she`s been down on everything but the Titanic.

[OldLincoln]

Oh lordy, time for me to stop reading this thread....

[CJB]

She seems to be a high spirited and adventurous young woman.As to where you sky dive or not is a matter of choice.I have preferred another type of diving since I was a young man but this is not the place to go into that.Falling to my death has never really appealed to me until lately.Mrs.Dietrich is rapidly becoming a woman that all Hell couldn`t amuse and I find myself longing for the sweet release of death more and more.Do they make you wear a parachute or is it optional?

At some point, I think the parachute should be not optional, but definitely quick release..... in case I change my mind half way down.

Eliz sez "Tell Herr Deitrich that his spectacles need adjustment, but thank him for saying I was a young woman". Then she got this far away look and asked if any of the chaps on Kahrtalk played cricket. I have no clue.....

[Bawanna]

I think you have to like crumpets to play cricket but I've never been to Borneo before.

[bamaman]

Dear Dietrich,
I am a lefty (southpaw) which causes us lefties to be ambidextrious
(being a right handed world and all). Why aren't more things produced for our type when we are the only ones that are right in our minds?

[JFootin]

Dear Dietrich,
I am a lefty (southpaw) which causes us lefties to be ambidextrious
(being a right handed world and all). Why aren't more things produced for our type when we are the only ones that are right in our minds?

The reason is we are a minority that is discriminated against, representing only 10% of the population. When I shop for holsters and find a retailer who doesn't provide a hand choice on their product pages, I leave and don't add them to my Favorites. It's crazy! Throwing away 10% of their sales on purpose! An SA or SA/DA gun that doesn't have a twin safety lever on the right side will never join my arsenal. And I don't like the left side only magazine releases, either. I am looking very seriously at a HK P2000 SK (http://www.hk-usa.com/civilian_products/p2000sk_general.asp) because it is entirely ambidextrous (but expensive). And Beretta has a 9mm/40s&w carbine (the CX4 Storm (http://www.berettausa.com/products/cx4-storm/)) that even allows you to direct the ejection and extraction to the left. The only trouble is its about 3 times the price of a Kel-Tec Sub2000. :2eek:

I remember when I was learning to write in Catholic grade school, the nun tried to force me to write right handed, but I wouldn't comply. Jeeze! :32:

[Dietrich]

Dear Dietrich,
I am a lefty (southpaw) which causes us lefties to be ambidextrious
(being a right handed world and all). Why aren't more things produced for our type when we are the only ones that are right in our minds?

Jealousy springs to mind.I started out left-handed in life but when I started elementary school [it was the mid fifties] the teachers took it upon themselves to break me of it.One even assigned a little girl to tattle on me when she saw me using my left hand.I`m sure those women were well intentioned but the road to hell is paved with good intentions,isn`t it?The end result is that I now write with my right hand [terribly],eat with my left hand,throw with my right hand and shoot pool with my left.
But to answer your question,I don`t think most righties have the brain power or engineering skills to produce quality products for lefties.They are not right in their minds.Curse them.

[TheTman]

Dear Dietrich,
I've recently been spending time with a lady that I am really starting to like a lot. Unfortunately, we got to talking politics, and it turns out she is a very liberal democrat, Bush-bashing and all. I'd like to continue this relationship and see where it leads, but how do I go about changing her political views, or do you think that's a lost cause, and we should just agree to disagree? We seem to enjoy each others company a great deal, and have a lot of other things we share interests in. I was pleasantly surprised that she's not anti-gun. I guess that's one thing to be thankful for. What would you suggest I do, if anything, about her liberalism?

[Dietrich]

99% of the misery I`ve seen in my life has been directly caused by females.It has made no difference if they were liberal or conservative although it seems that the libs were a bit more adventurous in the sack.My best advice is to ride her like a rented mule and then kick her to the curb when you get tired of her.

[Bawanna]

Dear Dietrich,

Where are you? We've only just begun my therapy sessions and you've dropped under the radar.

I still have those urges, don't leave me.

[aray]

Dear Dietrich,

Where are you? We've only just begun my therapy sessions and you've dropped under the radar.

I still have those urges, don't leave me.

Dear Dietrich,

Following up on Bawanna's posting, I see that you've lost your right to vote in your state:

http://www.foxnews.com/politics/2011/09/28/gop-no-joke-for-north-carolina-guv-to-suggest-suspending-elections/?test=latestnews

Have you also lost your right to speak as well? I certainly hope not because I can confirm that Bawanna needs all of the therapy that you can spare.

[MikeyKahr]

I think Dietrich may be busy rebuilding highway 12 after the hurricane.

Sent using Tapatalk

[Bawanna]

This is another oldie to look thru if your feeling blue. My ribs hurt so bad.

[ltxi]

Second that!

[downtownv]

This was a very witty guy, sorry he's not with us anymore....
What happened to him?

[Bawanna]

Got struck with the Big C about a year ago or a bit longer.

He was witty and loved right up to the end.

[downtownv]

He was witty and loved right up to the end.

Clearly, The life. at any party!:)

[Tinman507]

I just spent the last 20 minutes re-reading these. My sides hurt from laughing.

God Bless you Dietrich.

[b4uqzme]

Thanks Colonel

[TheTman]

Why is Dietrich gone, and Obama still here. The universe is out of order!

[b4uqzme]

And BTW Dietrichville is LONG ways away from Charlotte and probably 20 times smaller. There is NOTHING in Atlantic NC except fishing and an old military air station that Cherry Point uses for training. Believe me I've been there.

I was in Atlantic NC just last week. Thanks for the chance to read these Colonel. Kinda wish I'd known the man.

[Bawanna]

I was in Atlantic NC just last week. Thanks for the chance to read these Colonel. Kinda wish I'd known the man.

I considered him a best buddy, we emailed a lot. Never met him in person. When he got sick I nearly broke my never fly rule and went to do just that. I regret to this day that I didn't do so.

I think we both missed something really good. His wife Helen is a class act as well although I've lost her contact information. Another bad goof on my part.

[jocko]

diet was the man, that was for sure.Inallhis illness, he stillhad a great senseof humor.

[getsome]

In his honor I'm getting the large can of Crisco out tonight and have a big ole time!!!...God bless you Diet Man for all the laughs and I hope Heaven's being good to you!!!

[Bawanna]

Bringing this once again back to the top. If your having a downer day, just read a bit of this, it goes on and on and your day will be a whole lot better. I guarantee it.

Dietrich was indeed the man. Happy times.

[OldFatGuy]

Sorry I missed him!

[b4uqzme]

Things for me have been a little stressful lately. Thanks for the uplift Colonel!

[Armybrat]

Good man, he was.

[yqtszhj]

He was full of humor but i remember a post showing his serious side and concern for a young person. Diet had a real heart inside.

[Dbholfo]

Thanks for bringing it back to the top. I don't see Melissa anymore. I hope all is well with her.

[Bawanna]

I'll try to reach out and see how she's doing.

[Bawanna]

Anytime your feeling blue just read a bit of this thread. Amazing.

I've been reading a page or two a lot lately.

[Alfonse]

Yeah, miss him. Laugh all the time when I read his posts.

[yqtszhj]

I thought of Dietrich just the other day. Still miss him.

[Armybrat]

Yep, him & Muggsy too.

And Jocko.

[Bills1873]

What's with Jocko? Another question is where's CJB?

[Bawanna]

Jocko has been in Florida on hiatus for several months, I think he should be headed home soon if not already.

CJB, remains a mystery despite all efforts to determine his status. Reports indicate he has made post on other forums so at this point I guess all we know is he's still vertical.

[yqtszhj]

Jocko has been in Florida on hiatus for several months, I think he should be headed home soon if not already.

CJB, remains a mystery despite all efforts to determine his status. Reports indicate he has made post on other forums so at this point I guess all we know is he's still vertical.

Still vertical is a good thing.