I'm Free!!!

[TheTman]

As of 2:16 this afternoon I am a free man and no longer bound by the bonds of Matrimony. Feels pretty good to have it all done legally. There are some things still to do, like buy her half of our house and get her moved out, she is buying a smaller house not too far away so we'll be able to both spend time with the kids. Still have split up some money, but the legal part is over for now. She was very reasonable about me buying her share of the house, and once I do some remodeling and fix it up a bunch, it should sell for quite a bit. It's in an excellant location, out in the country with a creek running through it, with a small pond, but with access to the interstate just a mile or so down the road so I can be anywhere in the city in 15-20 minutes.
Sometimes I wish I was a drinking man so I could pop a cork of some fine champagne and celebrate. Guess a cold Dr. Pepper will have to do. LOL
Overall we remained pretty friendly, and I told her just because we are divorced doesn't mean we aren't still family. I wish her the best and hope she finds happiness in her life, that has been missing in ours since I had to do the chemo. That chemo just kind of messed things up between us and we never were able to put things together like they were before. I got to having daily migraines for about 8 months before I moved out, then went out of town with my brother and they went away. They came back when we got back home, so I decided to move out, and haven't had but one or two since then. So, I think everything is for the best and life will go on. :D

[Hognutz]

Hope everything works out well for you. Sounds like you had an amicable split. So many of them are down right nasty. When they get nasty, the kids take the blunt of it. Good luck with the split...Mike

[Russ]

I just read the public record on your divorce. Too bad the x gets the guns. Any idea how much she will sell the Kahr.

On a serious note I hope if.children are involved they will still have a mom and dad in their lives. Good luck. Russ

[wyntrout]

I'm happy for you. I went through that in 1982 and we had an amicable split and I bent over backwards to give her what she wanted. We just didn't get along together. We were friendly and the kids were not biased against either parent.

Today, we're great friends and my wife and I have a great family get together when we manage to go up to Southern Illinois for Thanksgiving together. It took my wife a while to get over that my Ex was no threat and we didn't have to be enemies. They're great friends, too. All of that's very important for the kids' welfare... and us!

As I'm fond of saying... I try to work into the conversation that I'm there with my two wives... gets me a 'bump" on the shoulder from my Ex and one of "those looks" from my wife... living dangerously.:rolleyes:

Good luck with your new life. Staying in a stressful situation just isn't fun for all involved.

Wynn:)

[muggsy]

There is no such thing as a good divorce. It's hardest on the children. Being the product of a split home, I'm speaking from experience.

[Barth]

My first divorce was devastating.
Then my second made the first one feel like a vacation in Bali.
I'm a slow learner, but there will not be a third!

Sorry to here about it though.
We always set out to have a marriage and children
with the happily ever after thingy.

Often best laid plans....

Anyway, best of luck on your new life.
I always think of mine as an adventure with the end still unwritten.

[TheTman]

My children are 23,22 and 17, Daugter Son Daughter. The're doing ok with everything. I had to leave for my health. I'm going to see if my daughters wants to stay, would be nice to have them around again. I think I can get the older one to stay, the younger one might be better off with her mom until she graduates.
It was a very friendly deal, she was easy to split the money up and belongings up with. I gave her first choice of the furniture and things, we each keep our family heirlooms, really just two people being reasonable with each other without emotions getting in the way. I just left because of my health, and she had little reason to be angry with me, so it all went pretty well. We've been separated for awhile, so that kind of made it easier. It will great to get the farmhouse barn, shop and garages all back, and have access to everything.
Thanks for all the good wishes.

[Rainman48314]

As of 2:16 this afternoon I am a free man and no longer bound by the bonds of Matrimony. Feels pretty good to have it all done legally. There are some things still to do, like buy her half of our house and get her moved out, she is buying a smaller house not too far away so we'll be able to both spend time with the kids. Still have split up some money, but the legal part is over for now. She was very reasonable about me buying her share of the house, and once I do some remodeling and fix it up a bunch, it should sell for quite a bit. It's in an excellant location, out in the country with a creek running through it, with a small pond, but with access to the interstate just a mile or so down the road so I can be anywhere in the city in 15-20 minutes.
Sometimes I wish I was a drinking man so I could pop a cork of some fine champagne and celebrate. Guess a cold Dr. Pepper will have to do. LOL
Overall we remained pretty friendly, and I told her just because we are divorced doesn't mean we aren't still family. I wish her the best and hope she finds happiness in her life, that has been missing in ours since I had to do the chemo. That chemo just kind of messed things up between us and we never were able to put things together like they were before. I got to having daily migraines for about 8 months before I moved out, then went out of town with my brother and they went away. They came back when we got back home, so I decided to move out, and haven't had but one or two since then. So, I think everything is for the best and life will go on. :DMigraines, like women, are hard to explain. I had them from about age 17 to 41, with very few from 19-21 (college). I simply outgrew them. I know several women who get them now and they are debilitating.

Divorce is often bittersweet when your wife has been a good friend. Been there twice. As the old joke goes, "now I just find a woman I can't stand, buy her a house and give her half my stuff". For you younger guys, note this gets expensive.

[O'Dell]

I went through the same thing in 1986. Ours was also amicable, and the only thing we owned together was the house and furnishings - bank accounts, cars, rental property, etc were all separate. I bought out her equity in the house and we split the rest. We didn't even get a lawyer. I just wrote and filed the partition and had a judge sign it 60 days later.

We're also still friends and, in fact, I got a message today to be her friend on Facebook. I don't do Facebook so I ignored it. I get one or two a week.

[JimBianchi]

Good for you.

I am glad someone can do it politely.

Mine (1987) was stuff horror movies are made of.

I had to leave the country to get away from her.

I actually have had nightmares that she will show up and ruin my quiet, pleasant live I have built now.

Seriously, she is one of the reasons I carry 24/7.

[TheTman]

Thats the way we did it O'Dell, really worked well. I had to bite my tongue quite a few times, but we got thru it ok. I just kept pointing out how much money she'd get if we left the lawyers out.
Jim, wow, that sucks, I'm so glad it didn't turn into one of those. She pretty much got everything she wanted, so not sure what dragging lawyers into it would have helped. I'm glad the kids are older so we don't have those issues to deal with. Our daughters will have rooms at both our places, and we''ll be just a couple miles apart.
I'm thankful that it went so well. I do wish she hadn't sold my tractor though.

[Barth]

Good for you.

I am glad someone can do it politely.

Mine (1987) was stuff horror movies are made of.

I had to leave the country to get away from her.

I actually have had nightmares that she will show up and ruin my quiet, pleasant live I have built now.

Seriously, she is one of the reasons I carry 24/7.

Ah yes,
Misty water color memories of the way we were - LOL!

[TheTman]

I think part of the reason it went so well, was that I moved out for my health. There was no other woman involved or anything for her to be angry at, I think she felt somewhat guilty over the fact that she drove me out of the house with her bitter words and complaining all the time. I told her when I moved out that she needs to find someone else that will make her happy, since I'm obviously not able to do that.
And I tried my best to help her out with things that went wrong around the house, and did my best to keep her happy while we were seperated. We're not enemies or anything, I actually still love her as I still consider her part of my family. I hope her next husband and I can be friends, and I hope she'll be friendly with any women that come into my life.

[muggsy]

When a man and woman marry in a church they are making a covenant with God. Generally speaking they do so in front of their parents, friends and family. Marriage shouldn't be rush into, or taken lightly. Each partner swears to love, honor, cherish and to remain faithful to each other for better or worse, in sickness and health for richer or poorer, until death us do part. No one ever said that marriage was easy. Most things that are worth having aren't easy to obtain. I hope for the sake of your children that your divorce works out for the best. Not many do.

[O'Dell]

Wow, Jim. I hate to hear that. My first was bad but not that bad. I only had to move from Louisville to Atlanta. :D

[TheTman]

Well she didn't live up to the "in sickness" part, so I did what I needed to do for my own mental and physical health. I think as far as divorces go, this was one of the friendliest I've heard of, and that's cause I lived with this woman 24 years and knew what her hot button issues were and avoided them like the plague. All the women that I've talked about it too have thought I've been more than fair in the settlement.
She may get a few extras, but that's only material things, and not a big deal. I'll have enough money left to start rebuilding my finances, and if I think if I put in about 20-30K on that house, I can take a 125K investement and double my money due to it's location and features and buy a small place easier to care for. I do have about 3-4 acres of tillable land, and am trying to figure out a small crop that is profitable in small quantities. Garlic is one that pop's up frequently (wish she hadn't sold my tractor and implements), and I have fruit trees that are totally organic and can sell apples, pears, and peaches at the farmers market. Ginseng is another one that is very profitable, but takes a few years to grow. I'm sure everything will turn out ok, especially once I don't have 2 house holds to pay for.

[Rainman48314]

Well she didn't live up to the "in sickness" part, so I did what I needed to do for my own mental and physical health. I think as far as divorces go, this was one of the friendliest I've heard of, and that's cause I lived with this woman 24 years and knew what her hot button issues were and avoided them like the plague. All the women that I've talked about it too have thought I've been more than fair in the settlement.
She may get a few extras, but that's only material things, and not a big deal. I'll have enough money left to start rebuilding my finances, and if I think if I put in about 20-30K on that house, I can take a 125K investement and double my money due to it's location and features and buy a small place easier to care for. I do have about 3-4 acres of tillable land, and am trying to figure out a small crop that is profitable in small quantities. Garlic is one that pop's up frequently (wish she hadn't sold my tractor and implements), and I have fruit trees that are totally organic and can sell apples, pears, and peaches at the farmers market. Ginseng is another one that is very profitable, but takes a few years to grow. I'm sure everything will turn out ok, especially once I don't have 2 house holds to pay for.You've got the right attitude and your priorities straight.

As an aside, I once stayed in the "Garlic Capitol". A little town claiming
that was Gilroy, CA. It was the closest room I could afford and reserve at a last minute when we decided to go watch the 2000 U S Open at Pebble Beach. For our readers who don't know, at least in mid June, you can't smell any garlic. Tickets to the Open are by lottery and the irony is that those with rooms closer, and pricier, had to drive to Gilroy and catch the same shuttle bus that we did. If you aren't a golf nut, you'd find watching a tournament boring. Heck, sometimes I find them boring, but, they always make me want to play myself.

[Bawanna]

3 -4 acres of Marijuana might net a pretty big paycheck!

I hate myself for saying that. I'll go sit in the corner with my dunce hat now.

I went to one of them how to make money seminars years ago and the first thing he asked was for ideas how to make money. Everybody had all kinds of ideas. I sitting in the back row jokingly said drugs? That was the answer he was looking for and I felt bad for stealing his punch line.

Far better profit than real estate which was very good THEN.

[JohnR]

Sell all your stuff for a dollar, and give her fifty cents.