Decembers Deceptive, Defer, Deviate Free for all. 2011

[Bawanna]

Well for lack of anything more creative I revisited the 2010 December anything goes thread and revitalized it for your viewing and posting pleasure.

If it don't fit no place else (easy on the politics) your in exactly the right place.

[jlottmc]

Have we really been doing this for a year now? Where has the time gone?

[MW surveyor]

Hey, kinda pushin it arent you Bawanna. By my calendar, it is still November :)

[Tinman507]

Hey, he's allowed. According to ALL the nation's retailers, Christmas began right before Halloween. What's the matter with moving December up a few days?

[MW surveyor]

Nah! He's just afraid that someone else will start this month's anything goes thread since someone else started the last two months worth!

Over in Pascagoula, MS right now. Already looked up local gun shops and planing to visit all two or three later today. Nothing better to do at the moment as I'm waiting for the ship to arrive from Africa. Get to do an unloading of two drilling rigs. These are the easy parts of this job.

Brought my P22 with me. Just in case I get really bored, may find a local range and run a few more hundred rounds through the little thing. :84:

[Bawanna]

Yeah I figure I miss one more month and I might lose this job and now days you just don't want to do that. It's all about the money ya know?

Yeah the retailers really jumped on the Christmas commercialization early this year it seems like.
I better start thinking about shopping pretty soon, maybe.
It's all about money too or lack there of.

[wyntrout]

I just got back from the People's Democratic Republic of Illinois and one of my first chores will be to buy a new dryer. I'm tired of fixing the old one. I'll just throw that on top of the trip, our Christmas plane tickets, my TWO implants, my wife's $2K car repair... and anything else that comes up! When it rains, it pours!

Just glad to get back safely... can't wait until Wifey gets home, but a nap would be nice!

Wynn:)

[getsome]

Hello Wyn, Glad you are back home safe and sound....Sooooo what cup size are you up to now???:p...Inquiring minds want to know!!!

[Bawanna]

You rock getsome, I was curious too but was almost afraid to ask.

[getsome]

Heck I was thinking of getting some myself so I would never be bored but I couldn't afford them!!!

[JFootin]

Hello Wyn, Glad you are back home safe and sound....Sooooo what cup size are you up to now???:p...Inquiring minds want to know!!!


You rock getsome, I was curious too but was almost afraid to ask.

LOL! Good to have you back, Wynn! :)

[wyntrout]

Dang! What a question! Being short a tooth on both sides of my mouth slowed me down just a little, but I actually lost a few pounds... if you were referring to my MB's.:D

Wifey and I are going out to eat tonight. We've both been doing a bit of that the last week.

We wound up bowling a few games and none of us excelled. Evidently going a decade or so without bowling can drop your average... below my expectations, too... but I didn't trip... or break 100!:( I had to stop bowling because of my war injuries in the service of my country. While I was stationed in Germany in the mid-80's, I managed to injure both shoulders... torn rotator cuffs while skiing... one in Austria and one in Germany's Black Forest. I like to go fast... not not good at stopping or slowing down.:(

Wynn:)

[Bawanna]

War is hell huh?

[getsome]

Hell I hurt myself sleeping last night, how is that possible...:crazy:

[Bawanna]

Hope you didn't roll over and brake your kickstand!:eek:

[wyntrout]

Hey... war is not all 24/7 combat... there's other things, too. Plus, you never know when being able to get around in snow might come in handy. I didn't care for cross-country skiing... too much work and even less control coming down hills on those skis!

I like speed but I'm not a good skier, so controlling speed and going fast were always problems for me. I DID take lessons after "learning" on my own. Starting out in class with all of that snowplowing really ruined my "ability" to parallel ski. We didn't learn how to fall correctly, either. I got really bored with the follow-the-leader snowplow and turn stuff. It might have been better if I had had lessons before actually "learning on my own".:D
We last skiied (skied ?) Winter '90/'91 in Quebec and Montreal while stationed in northern Maine, and our stuff would cost a fortune... sharpening and tuning the skis... and lift tickets, etc., are astronomical now... plus we don't live NEAR snow country now.

I had better go shower and nap while I can. Later!

Wynn:)

[getsome]

I took skiing lessons from Sonny Bono and decided to stick to a safer sport like pop fly grenade catching...:eek:

[OldLincoln]

A relative of a good friend was in Iraq screwing around tossing a football back and forth, so he climbs on a tank and reaches for an off toss, falls off and breaks his leg. Now he has a purple heart, lifetime military disability and seems to get around just fine. Yeah, war is hell for real, but I guess playtime can be tough also. I've wondered what war story he's fabricated to cover his stupidity.

[jocko]

well it would be very hard IMO to wear that purple heart with pride when sitting next to someone with both legs missing or a deformed face... sounds alittle like John Kerry's 3 purple hearts in less than 6 months..

[Bawanna]

I thought that way initially myself but realized he still was in Iraq, he was part of the effort there and soldiering is a 24/7 job. The fact that he injured himself while taking a few moments away from his job for whatever reason is unfortunate but he was still there. I often times wish I was there.
I don't know what the policy is on giving out Purple Hearts or why he received one in this instance. Apparently the standards are pretty low.
I'm sure there are 100's of people deserving of medals and recognition who never get it. Most probably don't want the attention anyhow.

[O'Dell]

It seems to happen earlier each year! :confused:

My neighbor across the street and I usually wait until the first of December to put up the outdoor Christmas lights. It's a tradition. His are pretty elaborate. Ours take about 15 minutes total, including pulling the outdoor tree down from the attic.

We wait until he is almost finished and then put ours up and light them while he is still trouble shooting that last moving reindeer or lighted whatever. Then we get together to laugh and congratulate each other on our combined folly. Lots of fun.

Based on casual observations of the light levels after dark this year, ours will probably be the last two houses to illuminate in the entire burg. :eek:

There are quite a number of houses in my neighborhood that are vastly over decorated - I attribute it to too much disposable income and too much time on the owners hands. Unfortunately, two of these are across the street from me, so street lights and flood lights become totally unnecessary from Thanksgiving until New Years. Shades, blinds, or curtains must be drawn to sleep. I'm quite sure my subdivision is visible from space.

[OldLincoln]

Well, I set the standard in our neighborhood for outdoor Christmas lights. Nada, zip, no how, no way! Not bah humbug, just not my style. Now I do have 4 or 5 sets of lights still in the box bought by my bride over the years to coax me into putting them up. Didn't work and now she won't let me up a ladder anyway - well I don't want up anything without rails anymore (so I'm easy blaming her).

[MW surveyor]

Well I checked out the local gun shops here in Pascagoula. Sure am glad I live in Houston with about 4 gun shops within a 3 mile radius of my house. CW9 for $545! Everything else near MSRP. Also, no public ranges anywhere within 20 miles or so. All private or members only. :(

[jeepster09]

Texting tips for seniors

Being that texting is all the rage these days, and the teenagers have all their cute little codes (OMG, BFF, WTF, LOL, LMFAO, etc.,) it’s only fair that we come up with some texting abbreviations that would be appropriate for the senior set. Consider the following code suggestions for seniors with smart phones:

ATD ............. At the Doctor’s
BFF .............. Best Friend’s Funeral
BTW ............. Bring the Wheelchair
BYOT ........... Bring Your Own Teeth
CBM ............. Covered By Medicare
CUATSC ..... See you at the Senior Center
DWI .............. Driving While Incontinent
FWIW .......... Forgot Where I Was
FYI ............... Found Your Insulin
GGPBL ........ Gotta Go, Pacemaker Battery Low
GHA ............. Got Heartburn Again
HGBM .......... Had Good Bowel Movement
IMHO ........... Is My Hearing Aid On?
LMDO .......... Laughing My Dentures Out
LOL .............. Living On Lipitor
OMSG .......... Oh My! Sorry…Gas!
TTYL ........... Talk to You Louder
WAITT ........ Who Am I Talking To?
WTP ............. Where’s the Prunes?
W2P .............. Waiting to Pee
WTFA .......... Wet The Furniture Again
WWNO ........ Walker Wheels Need Oil
And finally…..
GGLKI ......... Gotta Go – Laxative Kicking In!

[jlottmc]

You know I used to laugh at that, but here lately I've come to the opinion that if you are too damn old/infirm to control your bodily functions in public, then you should not be in public. I work a at a local college doing building maintenance, and during the day we get a lot of the geriatric crowd, I got a call the other day to come fish a diaper out of a toilet, because the old guy dropped it. What I wasn't told was that it had been there awhile, and several attempts to flush it down were made too. Ladies, DON'T even get me started about what I have had to pull out from that side either. I'll get off of that now.

[yqtszhj]

Well I checked out the local gun shops here in Pascagoula. Sure am glad I live in Houston with about 4 gun shops within a 3 mile radius of my house. CW9 for $545! Everything else near MSRP. Also, no public ranges anywhere within 20 miles or so. All private or members only. :(

When I read your first post I was thinking that the only place to shoot in Pascagoula is in the swamp somewhere but then I thought maybe something has changed in the last 8 years. Guess not. I lived in Mobile for a while and there was NOTHING in Pascagoula except for the ship yard.

[Thunder71]

After shaving my head for quite some time, I'd like to share my experiences with you and focus on some common misconceptions.

1. It definitely makes you look sexier, we'll get that one out of the way right now.

2. It is NOT less expensive than getting your hair cut and having to use hairspray, etc. I say this because you begin to go through more razor blades, more shaving cream, more aftershave, and of course your choice of lotion (gloss or matte), not to mention sunscreen.

3. It definitely makes you sexier.

4. A shaved head is not necessarily colder in the winter, although it does have a benefit of not getting hat hair when you wear a stocking cap.

5. People do randomly rub your head, it's kind of weird. I start kicking my leg like a dog getting his belly rubbed, they usually stop.

6. It can be addicting... I like my head to be nice and smooth, I shave daily against the grain for the smoothest possible skin.

7. It's not as bad as you might think using an old school double edge razor, just make sure you have the time to learn/practice and the time it takes each day will get shorter as you develop a pattern. I don't do this anymore, but it can be an enjoyable manly experience, and an art form that has unfortunately been lost over the decades.

8. When you sweat, there is nothing but your eyebrows to stop it. It's helpful to carry some sort of sweat rag, or look like and old school basketball player and wear a terry cloth headband.

9. It's one of the only hair styles that all races and sexes can pull off, and it doesn't matter what shape your head is as much as one might think. That said, if you're a cone head, expect some requests for autographs.

10. It definitely makes you sexier.

Last but not least, as an added bonus - emoticons resemble your expression a lot better. :D

[TheTman]

Some people look good with shaved heads, where as I look like that idiot musician on David Letterman, Paul Shaffer ( or worse ), I think the bigger and more fit you are the better you look, while old farts like me need to keep what little hair we have left.

On snow skiing, I've sustained most of my worst injuries doing that. One torn rotator cuff, almost ruined both knees, yet I still put on my knee braces and take a few runs when I'm out that way. I just stay off the killer slopes and play nicely on the more gentle stuff.
I did ski past a dead body at Breckinridge years ago, the trail split into two and he didn't take either split, and hit a tree. Ski patrol already had the tape up and everything waiting for the cops I guess.

[OldLincoln]

I was blessed with a very good head of hair and it's still good although thinning some. I told my wife that I might try bald and she almost chased me around the house with a broom - well at least verbally cause she can't get up.

Now that I have difficulty raising my arms above my shoulders I would have to line a helmet with sandpaper and rub it off and it just ain't worth it. Besides if I were any more sexy they ladies would gang up and have their collective way with me, and that wouldn't do. No sir not at all.

[JFootin]

5. People do randomly rub your head, it's kind of weird. I start kicking my leg like a dog getting his belly rubbed, they usually stop.
Now I don't care who you are. That's funny right there! :D


10. It definitely makes you sexier.
That, too! :behindsofa:

[Bawanna]

Bald is very popular with cops. We have many shaved heads. I often ask if I can rub their head and make a wish?

My other usual question is if I can draw a line on their head and make it look like a butt.

A few years ago we had an officer with a son who had leukemia. He of course lost all his hair. We had a dept event out back brought in barbers or hair stylist and we all shaved our heads. Every officer and most of the guys at the fire dept did it. Even one of the ladies with long hair shaved her head.
He's gone now but he got a big kick out of it. He's actually the second officers son that died from leukemia. We have a third that is a cancer survivor. What are the odds of so many in a small dept?

[JFootin]

Here is the full interview by Sean Hannity of Newt Gingrich, the next president of these United States. He has real, workable strategies for the campaign and for rescuing this nation from the grave trouble that it is in.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=tpX06eAm4sw

[jeepster09]

The Pope goes for a drive…

After getting all the Popes Luggage in the Limo (He doesn't travel light) the driver turns round to see the pope still standing on the curb.

"Excuse me, Your Holiness," says the driver, "Would you please take your seat so we can leave?"



"Well, to tell you the truth," says the Pope, "they never let me drive at the Vatican, and I'd really like to drive today."



"I'm sorry but I cannot let you do that. I'd lose my job! And what if something should happen?" protests the driver, wishing he'd never gone to work that morning.



"There might be something extra in it for you," says the Pope.



Reluctantly, the driver gets in the back as the Pope climbs in behind the wheel The driver quickly regrets his decision when, after exiting the airport, the Pontiff floors it, accelerating the limo to 105 mph.



"Please slow down, you’re Holiness!!!" pleads the worried driver, but the Pope keeps the pedal to the metal until they hear sirens.



"Oh, dear God, I'm gonna lose my license," moans the driver.



The Pope pulls over and rolls down the window as the cop approaches, but the cop takes one look at him, goes back to his motorcycle, and gets on the radio.



"I need to talk to the Chief," he says to the dispatcher.



The Chief gets on the radio and the cop tells him that he's stopped a limo going a hundred and five.



"So bust him," says the Chief.



"I don't think we want to do that, he's really important," said the cop.



The Chief exclaimed, “All the more reason!"



"No, I mean really important," said the cop.



The Chief then asked, "Who ya got there, the Mayor?"



Cop: "Bigger."



Chief: "Governor?"



Cop: "Bigger."



"Well," said the Chief, "Who is it?"



Cop: "I think it's God!"



Chief: "What makes you think it's God?"



Cop: "He's got the Pope as a chauffeur!!"

[OldLincoln]

"do you believe in life after death?" the boss asked one of his employees. "yes, sir," the new employee replied. "well, then, that makes everything just fine," the boss went on. "after you left early yesterday to go to your grandmother's funeral, she stopped in to see you!

It was palm sunday and, because of a sore throat, five-year-old johnny stayed home from church with a sitter. When the family returned home, they were carrying several palm branches. The boy asked what they were for. "people held them over jesus' head as he walked by." "wouldn't you know it," the boy fumed, "the one sunday i don't go, he shows up!"

one easter sunday morning as the minister was preaching the children's sermon, he reached into his bag of props and pulled out an egg. He pointed at the egg and asked the children, "what's in here?" "i know!" a little boy exclaimed, "pantyhose!"

the prospective father-in-law asked, "young man, can you support a family?" the surprised groom-to-be replied, "well, no. I was just planning to support your daughter. The rest of you will have to fend for yourselves."

a little boy in church for the first time watched as the ushers passed around the offering plates. When they came near his pew, the boy said loudly, "don't pay for me, daddy. I'm under five."

"oh, i sure am happy to see you," the little boy said to his grandmother on his mother's side. "now maybe daddy will do the trick he has been promising us." the grandmother was curious. "what trick is that?" she asked. "i heard him tell mommy that he would climb the walls if you came to visit," the little boy answered.

When my three-year-old son opened the birthday gift from his grandmother, he discovered a water pistol. He squealed with delight and headed for the nearest sink. I was not so pleased. I turned to mom and said, "i'm surprised at you. Don't you remember how we used to drive you crazy with water guns?" mom smiled and then replied "oh, i remember!"

little johnny asked his grandma how old she was. Grandma answered, "39 and holding." johnny thought for a moment, and then said, "and how old would you be if you let go?"

[OldLincoln]

Around age 10 my dad got me one of those little ****** compound bow beginner kits. Of course, the first month I went around our land sticking arrows in anything that could get stuck by an arrow. Did you know that a 1955 40 horse Farmall tractor tire will take 6 rounds before it goes down?

Tough sumbich.

That got boring, so being the 10 yr. old Dukes of Hazard fan that I was, I quickly advanced to taking strips of cut up T-shirt doused in chainsaw gas tied around the end and was sending flaming arrows all over the place.

One summer afternoon, I was shooting flaming arrows into a large rotten oak stump in our backyard. I looked over under the carport and see a shiny brand new can of starting fluid (Ether). The light bulb went off in my head.

I grabbed the can and set it on the stump. I thought that it would probably just spray out in a disappointing manner. Lets face it, to a 10 yr old mouth-breather like myself, (Ether), really doesn't "sound" flammable.

So, I went back into the house and got a 1 pound can of pyrodex (black powder for muzzle loader rifles).

At this point, I set the can of ether on the stump and opened up the can of black powder. My intentions were to sprinkle a little bit around the (Ether) can but it all sorta dumped out on me. No biggie, a 1 lb. pyrodex and 16 oz (Ether) should make a loud pop, kinda like a firecracker you know?

You know what? Screw that I'm going back in the house for the other can.

Yes, I got a second can of pyrodex and dumped it too. Now we're cookin'.

I stepped back about 15 ft and lit the 2 stroke arrow. I drew the nock to my cheek and took aim. As I released I heard a clunk as the arrow launched from my bow. In a slow motion time frame, I turned to see my dad getting out of the truck... OH ****! He just got home from work. So help me God it took 10 minutes for that arrow to go from my bow to the can. My dad was walking towards me in slow motion with a WTF look in his eyes. I turned back towards my target just in time to see the arrow pierce the starting fluid can right at the bottom. Right through the main pile of pyrodex and into the can. Oh ****.

When the shock wave hit it knocked me off my feet. I don't know if it was the actual compression wave that threw me back or just reflex jerk back from 235 fricking decibels of sound. I caught a half a millisecond glimpse of the violence during the initial explosion and I will tell you there was dust, grass, and bugs all hovering 1 ft above the ground as far as I could see. It was like a little low to the ground layer of dust fog full of grasshoppers, spiders, and a worm or two.

The daylight turned purple. Let me repeat this... THE FRICKING DAYLIGHT TURNED PURPLE.

There was a big sweetgum tree out by the gate going into the pasture. Notice I said "was". That son-of-a-***** got up and ran off.

So here I am, on the ground blown completely out of my shoes with my thundercats T-Shirt shredded, my dad is on the other side of the carport having what I can only assume is a Vietnam flashback: ECHO BRAVO CHARLIE YOU'RE BRINGIN' EM IN TOO CLOSE!! CEASE FIRE. DAMN IT CEASE FIRE!!!!!

His hat has blown off and is 30 ft behind him in the driveway. All windows on the north side of the house are blown out and there is a slow rolling mushroom cloud about 2000 ft. over our backyard. There is a Honda 185 3 wheeler parked on the other side of the yard and the fenders are drooped down and are now touching the tires.

I wish I knew what I said to my dad at this moment. I don't know - I know I said something. I couldn't hear. I couldn't hear inside my own head. I don't think he heard me either... not that it would really matter. I don't remember much from this point on. I said something, felt a sharp pain, and then woke up later. I felt a sharp pain, blacked out, woke later....repeat this process for an hour or so and you get the idea. I remember at one point my mom had to give me CPR. and Dad screaming "Bring him back to life so I can kill him again". Thanks Mom.

One thing is for sure... I never had to mow around that stump again, Mom had been bitching about that thing for years and dad never did anything about it. I stepped up to the plate and handled business.

Dad sold his muzzle loader a week or so later. I still have some sort of bone growth abnormality, either from the blast or the beating, or both.

I guess what I'm trying to say is, get your kids into archery. It's good discipline and will teach them skills they can use later on in life

[OldLincoln]

The Human Body

It takes 7 seconds for food to pass from mouth to stomach.

A human hair can hold 3kg.

The length of a dingus is 3x the length of the thumb.

The femur is as hard as concrete.

A woman's heart beats faster then a man's.

Women blink 2x as much as men.

We use 300 muscles just to keep our balance when we stand.

The woman has read this entire text.

The man is still looking at his thumb

[OldLincoln]

Definitions you won't find in the Dictionary.

ADULT:
A person who has stopped growing at both ends and is now growing in the middle.

BEAUTY PARLOR:
A place where women curl up and dye.

CHICKENS:
The only animals you eat before they are born and after they are dead.

COMMITTEE:
A body that keeps minutes and wastes hours.

DUST:
Mud with the juice squeezed out.

EGOTIST:
Someone who is usually me-deep in conversation.

HANDKERCHIEF:
Cold Storage.

INFLATION:
Cutting money in half without damaging the paper.

MOSQUITO:
An insect that makes you like flies better.

RAISIN:
A grape with a sunburn.

SECRET:
Something you tell to one person at a time.

SKELETON:
A bunch of bones with the person scraped off.

TOOTHACHE:
The pain that drives you to extraction.

TOMORROW:
One of the greatest labor saving devices of today.

YAWN:
An honest opinion openly expressed.


And MY Personal Favorite!!
WRINKLES:
Something other people have, similar to my character lines.

[getsome]

Sounds like OldLincoln and I had a similar childhood fondness for things that go BOOM!!!... My best friend and partner in crime across the street spent most of our spare time one summer cutting open M-80's to get the powder out of them...

These were the good M-80's that would shred a mailbox (trust me on that one) and you could buy all you wanted in Florida but not Georgia so when we both went on vacation the fireworks store was the first place we always went...

By the time we got to the end of our stash we had about a quart fruit jar full of powder and we decided to use it all for one great big one...His father was a brick mason and he had build a real nice double pit BBQ and chimney in their back yard so we figured that would be a safe place to set off our creation so we did...

Well it went off alright and totally leveled that brick BBQ pit and even sent a brick through the windshield of his new F100 pickup in their driveway...Somebody called the cops and fire dept thinking there had been a plane crash or something but we didn't have to deal with them cause we ran for the hills and thought about not ever going home and becoming hobos but we eventually did go home and face the music...

Needless to say we both got our rumps tanned and we had to cut grass and rake leaves all fall to pay for the windshield...We were also banned from ever touching fireworks again...Its a miracle we both survived our childhood and early teens because we were always trying new and exciting ways to kill ourselves!!!

[OldLincoln]

Mu initial exposure was hanging out with my older and "wiser" cousin. I must have been around 9 so he would be maybe 12. I don't know where he got it but he had a can of black powder about 1/3 full. He poured a bit on a stump in the back yard then a fuse trail up to the house the the rest on the stump.

He said it was going to be a great firecracker but it was a great bomb even in a pile not a container. It blew out windows in houses all around and after we got over the initial shock we took off running for the park. Once there he was pacing back and forth with the look of a young man about to go to the gallows. Finally he said we've got to go back, so we did.

The cops in those days were understanding and probably got a chuckle once they knew nobody got killed. My cousin took all the blame which was smart cause he'd get it anyway. In those days the oldest was always responsible for the younger so why fight it. I don't remember what his consequences were but pretty severe I'll bet.

[QuercusMax]

There are quite a number of houses in my neighborhood that are vastly over decorated - I attribute it to too much disposable income and too much time on the owners hands. Unfortunately, two of these are across the street from me, so street lights and flood lights become totally unnecessary from Thanksgiving until New Years. Shades, blinds, or curtains must be drawn to sleep. I'm quite sure my subdivision is visible from space.

I'm a little behind, but ... I was out east last week, just north of Atlanta, and I see what you mean! Must make Georgia Power happy - just when A/C season ends, the Christmas lights come on to soak up their excess generating capacity.

Out here in central Idaho I can't see any human-created light from my place at all. But when I look up at the sky I see lots of little pin-points of light. Always wondered where that light came from - :confused: - maybe people all over the Universe over-decorate with light???

[jlottmc]

Ooooo Shiney. Anyone know anything about the .300 AAC blackout round?

[JFootin]

Newt Gingrich will ask John Bolton to be Secretary of State if he wins the presidency.

http://www.washingtontimes.com/news/2011/dec/7/gingrich-john-bolton-will-be-my-secretary-state/

[jocko]

not a bad pick IMO. He needs to announce his V.P..

[JFootin]

He has plenty of time to do that, and a lot of good candidates.

I'd like to see who he is going to pick for Attorney General because I'll be wanting to see Obama, Holder and several of his czars put on trial!

[OldLincoln]

Yeah, he can't announce a VP until the VP agrees and the VP he wants won't agree until he knows Newt has the nomination sewed up. I thought Cain might be good but they are both from the same state. That guy from Florida would be good because he is going places and would assure them Florida - always a contentious state, and the Latino vote.

There are a couple other that sounded good also but these are high caliber and know what they offer, so will be hard to land.

[O'Dell]

Yeah, he can't announce a VP until the VP agrees and the VP he wants won't agree until he knows Newt has the nomination sewed up. I thought Cain might be good but they are both from the same state. That guy from Florida would be good because he is going places and would assure them Florida - always a contentious state, and the Latino vote.

There are a couple other that sounded good also but these are high caliber and know what they offer, so will be hard to land.

It certainly won't be Herman, even though Newt's official address is now Virginia. I've been predicting for almost a year that Marco Rubio would be the VP candidate.

[OldLincoln]

You are a wise man O'Dell. Rubio is who I was thinking of but couldn't remember his name. I'll do better when he and Newt are in the White House.

[OldLincoln]

I pointed to two old drunks sitting across the bar from us and told my friend, "That's us in 10 years". He said "That's a mirror, dip-shet!

[jeepster09]

THERE WILL BE A TEST
CAN YOU REMEMBER?

1. Candy cigarettes?

2. Wax coke-shaped bottles with colored sugar water inside?

3. Soda pop machines that dispensed glass bottles?

4. Coffee shops with tableside juke boxes?

5. Blackjack chewing gum?

6. Home milk delivery in glass bottles, with cardboard stoppers?

7. Party lines?

8. Newsreels before the movie?

9. P. F. Flyers?

10. Butch wax?

11. Telephone numbers with a word prefix ? (Drexel-5505)

12. Peashooters?

13. Howdy Doody?

14. 78 RPM Records?

15. S&H Green Stamps?

16. Hi-fi's?

17. Metal ice cube trays, with levers?

18. Mimeograph paper?

19. Blue flash bulbs?

20. Beanie and Cecil?

21. Roller skate keys?

22. Cork popguns?

23. Driveins?

24. Studebakers?

25. Wash tub wringers?

Now add up your score If you remembered 0 to 5, you're still young If you remembered 6 to 15, you are getting older. If you remembered 16 to 25, you are older than dirt

[jeepster09]

PONDERINGS

Mid-life has hit you when you stand naked in front of a mirror and can see your rear end without turning around.

If carrots are so good for the eyes, how come I see so many dead rabbits on the highway?

How come we choose from just two people for president and 50 for Miss America?

Ever notice that people who spend money on beer, cigarettes, and lottery tickets are always complaining about being broke and not feeling well?

Isn't having a smoking section in a restaurant like having a peeing section in a swimming pool?

Marriage changes passion Suddenly you are in bed with a relative.

Why is it that most nudists are people you don't want to see naked?

"Old" is when the porn movie you bring home is "Debby Does Dialysis."

The next time you feel like complaining remember: Your garbage disposal probably eats better than thirty percent of the people in this world.

Every time I walk into a singles bar I can hear Mom's wise words: "Don't pick that up, you don't know where it's been."

[jeepster09]

HAPPY ENDING

Jack decided to go skiing with his buddy, Bob. They loaded up Jack's mini van and headed north.

After driving for a few hours, they got caught in a terrible blizzard.

So they pulled into a nearby farm and asked the attractive lady who answered the door if they could spend the night.

"I realize it's terrible weather out there and I have this huge house all to myself, but I'm recently widowed," she explained. "I'm afraid the neighbors will talk if I let you stay in my house."

"Don't worry," Jack said. "We'll be happy to sleep in the barn. And if the weather breaks, we'll be gone at first light." The lady agreed, and the men settled in for the night.

Come morning, the weather had cleared, and they went on their way. They enjoyed a great weekend of skiing.

But about nine months later, Jack got an unexpected letter from an attorney.

It took him a few minutes to figure it out, but he finally determined that it was from the attorney of that attractive widow he had met on the ski weekend.

He dropped in on his friend Bob and asked, "Bob, do you remember that good-looking widow from the farm we stayed at on our ski holiday up North about 9 months ago?"

"Yes, I do." said Bob

"Did you, er, happen to get up in the middle of the night, go up to the house and pay her a visit?"

"Well, um, yes," Bob said, a little embarrassed about being found out. "I have to admit that I did."

"And did you happen to use my name instead of telling her your real name?"

Bob's face turned beet red and he said, "Yeah, look, I'm sorry, buddy. I'm afraid I did." "Why do you ask?"

"She just died and left me everything."

[MW surveyor]

Dang, I remember everything on the list!!!!

[Bawanna]

Me to except Beanie and Cecil, I'm drawing a blank on them. Sounds kind of familiar but I just can't picture em.

[MW surveyor]

Beanie was a kid and Cecil was a dinosaur (cartoon).

[Armybrat]

Knew 'em all ..... like it was yesterday.

[MW surveyor]

Was this in the newspapers? Maybe our our small town in the mid-west did not carry it. Otherwise this list was pleasant reminder of why "those were the days!" :D

Nope.... On TV but don't ask me to remember what day it was on. :001_huh: (probably Saturday morning)

[jeepster09]

How about a few more old t.v.shows?
1. Whirley Birds http://www.tvrage.com/shows/id-973

http://www.rotaryaction.com/pages/whirlybirds.html

2. Sky King http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0LBEJiOZKNs

3. Hiway Patrol http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yxcep0eJR-8

4. Car 54 Where are you? uh uh with Gunther and Tuddy
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KAPtM6Q_mwA

Where is life going.........:eek:

[JFootin]

This lady in Montana certainly has a way with words!! Couldn't have said it better myself!!!! I don't think pissed really covers it!!!

Alan Simpson, Senator from Wyoming, calls senior citizens the Greediest Generation as he compared "Social Security" to a Milk Cow with 310 million teats.

Here's a response in a letter from PATTY MYERS in Montana ... I think she is a little ticked off! She also tells it like it is!

"Hey Alan, let's get a few things straight...

1. As a career politician, you have been on the public dole for FIFTY YEARS.

2. I have been paying Social Security taxes for 48 YEARS (since I was 15 years old. I am now 63).

3. My Social Security payments, and those of millions of other Americans, were safely tucked away in an interest bearing account for decades until you political pukes decided to raid the account and give OUR money to a bunch of zero ambition losers in return for votes, thus bankrupting the system and turning Social Security into a Ponzi scheme that would have made Bernie Madoff proud.

4. Recently, just like Lucy & Charlie Brown, you and your ilk pulled the proverbial football away from millions of American seniors nearing retirement and moved the goalposts for full retirement from age 65 to age 67. NOW, you and your shill commission is proposing to move the goalposts YET AGAIN.

5. I, and millions of other Americans, have been paying into Medicare from Day One, and now you morons propose to change the rules of the game. Why? Because you idiots mismanaged other parts of the economy to such an extent that you need to steal money from Medicare to pay the bills.

6. I, and millions of other Americans, have been paying income taxes our entire lives, and now you propose to increase our taxes yet again. Why? Because you incompetent bastards spent our money so profligately that you just kept on spending even after you ran out of money. Now, you come to the American taxpayers and say you need more to pay off YOUR debt. To add insult to injury, you label us "greedy" for calling "bullshit" on your incompetence.

Well, Captain Bullshit, I have a few questions for YOU:

1. How much money have you earned from the American taxpayers during your pathetic 50-year political career?

2. At what age did you retire from your pathetic political career, and how much are you receiving in annual retirement benefits from the American taxpayers?

3. How much do you pay for YOUR government provided health insurance?

4. What cuts in YOUR retirement and healthcare benefits are you proposing in your disgusting deficit reduction proposal, or, as usual, have you exempted yourself and your political cronies?

It is you, Captain Bullshit, and your political co-conspirators called Congress who are the "greedy" ones. It is you and your fellow nutcases who have bankrupted America and stolen the American dream from millions of loyal, patriotic taxpayers. And for what? Votes. That's right, sir. You and yours have bankrupted America for the sole purpose of advancing your pathetic political careers. You know it, we know it, and you know that we know it. And you can take that to the bank, you miserable son of a b!tch."

[Armybrat]

So Patty, please tell us what you really think!

:D

[OldLincoln]

What else is thee to say? Is this what the libs call an inconvenient truth?

[wyntrout]

Something to consider for Bear Country... got this email:

Hunters, take note of this....

On Bud's Forums the question came up: what is the smallest caliber you
trust to protect yourself...

My personal favorite bear defense gun has always been a Beretta Jetfire in
.22 short!

I've found over the years when hiking in bear country I never leave
without it in my pocket. Of course we all know the first rule when hiking in the
wilderness is to use the "Buddy System". For those of you who may be
unfamiliar with this it means you NEVER hike alone, you bring a friend or
companion, even an in-law, that way if something happens there is someone to go
get help.

I remember one time hiking with my brother-in-law in northern Ontario. Out
of nowhere came this huge brown bear and man was she MAD! We must have
been near one of her cubs.

Anyway, if I had not had my little Jetfire I am sure I would not be here
today. That's right, one shot to my brother-in-law's knee cap and I was able
to escape by just walking at a brisk pace.

That's one of the best pistols in my gun safe!


Wynn :)

[JFootin]

Come on! Jennifer Aniston is just normal looking! Not ugly, but not a knockout by any means. I just do not understand this at all! :32:

http://horror.com/forum/showthread.php?p=912772

Now, IMO, the most beautiful, sexy woman EVER is Donna Dixon, long time wife to Dan Ackroyd. One look at her in a negligee making Tom Hanks insane on the Bosom Buddies sitcom, or in movies with Dan such as Dr. Detroit and Couch Trip, and a listen to that sultry voice, and the contest is over!

[kahrseye]

I love Christmas lights.
They remind me of the people who voted for Obama.
They all hang together,half of them don't work,and the ones that do aren't all that bright.
Merry Christmas!

[Bawanna]

I love Christmas lights.
They remind me of the people who voted for Obama.
They all hang together,half of them don't work,and the ones that do aren't all that bright.
Merry Christmas!

Crap I think I just split a gut, now that's funny right there. Honest truth but still funny.

[jocko]

oh yes that has to be one of the best I have read.. bnot a lie in the thread either..

good one kahrseye

[JFootin]

Yeah, that one had me ROTFLing!
http://i1230.photobucket.com/albums/ee486/John_England/Misc/laugh.gif

[wyntrout]

[QUOTE=JFootin;115137]Come on! Jennifer Aniston is just normal looking! Not ugly, but not a knockout by any means. I just do not understand this at all! :32:

I always thought she was the more interesting of the three on Friends, but sexiest or most beautiful... plain is what I see. Then there's borderline UGLY Jessica Parker... WTF!?? How is SHE beautiful and such a draw for Sex in the City?

JMHO.

Wynn:)

[JFootin]

Come on! Jennifer Aniston is just normal looking! Not ugly, but not a knockout by any means. I just do not understand this at all! :32:

I always thought she was the more interesting of the three on Friends, but sexiest or most beautiful... plain is what I see. Then there's borderline UGLY Jessica Parker... WTF!?? How is SHE beautiful and such a draw for Sex in the City?

JMHO.

Wynn:)

I always called that show "Sluts in the City." That's all it was. Spreading their knees for anyone. And all that Sara Jessica Parker added was how totally unashamed she was about it all, saying "If I had it all to do over again, I wouldn't change a thing." And she is so ugly, she is almost a bagger. I remember gathering for Thanksgiving with whoever would come at the house of a humble family in the church I attended at the time, and noticing their twin teenaged daughters watching that show and lusting after some Manolo Blahnik shoes. Both girls ended up pregnant and having babies out of wedlock while still in high school. I wonder how many thousands of teenaged girls were led astray by the bad example of those women and that show? And why were the parents letting them watch it and doing nothing to counsel them about how bad that behavior was?

[OldLincoln]

I always found an okay looking woman that was sexy in smile, expression and personality was more attractive than are seriously beautiful women who were even the least bit snobby. I have a thing for girl next door looks without makeup wearing levis and tshirt with fingers tucked in front pockets and bantering over a cup of coffee. Now that's sexy! Too bad I haven't seen that one for quite a while. Guess you can say sexy is as sexy does. But slutty is NOT sexy.

[Bawanna]

Well if no one wants Jennifer I'll take her. Crap, hope Melissa ain't reading this one. Or my wife, or anyone who knows my wife or Melissa. Or TD2K or JDlott.

[MW surveyor]

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Either that or someone that has no life outside of what everyone else tells them is beautiful.

Bawanna, you can have her. ;) I'm holding out for someone else and I'm not gonna say who (whom?)

[Bawanna]

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Either that or someone that has no life outside of what everyone else tells them is beautiful.

Bawanna, you can have her. ;) I'm holding out for someone else and I'm not gonna say who (whom?)

Please don't tell me it's Reba Macintyre. That would ruin my day.

[jeepster09]

Those all sound good to me......Here is what I found after spending much money on a dating service: :mad: Look down......

































http://i691.photobucket.com/albums/vv276/jeepster09/390650_2229942193530_1397109809_31986129_758505398 _n.jpg

[Armybrat]

Lmao!

[JFootin]

http://i1230.photobucket.com/albums/ee486/John_England/Misc/laugh.gif

[kahrseye]

Oldie but goodie.

[kahrseye]

The Lost Bagpiper

As a bagpiper, I play many gigs. Recently I was asked by a funeral
director to play at a graveside service for a homeless man. He had no
family or friends, so the service was to be at a pauper's cemetery in
the Kentucky back country. As I was not familiar with the backwoods, I
got lost and, being a typical male, I didn't stop for directions.
I finally arrived an hour late and saw the funeral guy had evidently
gone and the hearse was nowhere in sight. There were only the diggers
and crew left and they were eating lunch. I felt badly and apologized
to the men for being late. I went to the side of the grave and looked
down and the vault lid was already in place. I didn't know what else
to do, so I started to play.
The workers put down their lunches and began to gather around. I
played out my heart and soul for this man with no family or friends. I
played like I've never played before for this homeless man.
And as I played 'Amazing Grace,' the workers began to weep. They wept,
I wept, we all wept together.
When I finished I packed up my bagpipes and started for my car. Though
my head hung low, my heart was full. As I opened the door to my car, I
heard one of the workers say, "I never seen nothin' like that before
and I've been putting in septic tanks for twenty years."
Apparently I was still lost.

[jeepster09]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1geyoxeifk0

[kahrseye]

When you purchase your bike, make sure the color of your bike seat is taken into consideration! :blushing:

[JFootin]

I'm laughing so hard, I'm crying!

[wyntrout]

Dang! Anybody else in Florida trying to win this never-ending Lotto down here??

I'm hoping to win the danged thing and shut it down before Christmas, but time's running out. I only have two more drawing nights before we leave and this thing's up to $47 million from increasing $2 million a rollover!

Wynn:rolleyes:

[JFootin]

Dang! Anybody else in Florida trying to win this never-ending Lotto down here??

I'm hoping to win the danged thing and shut it down before Christmas, but time's running out. I only have two more drawing nights before we leave and this thing's up to $47 million from increasing $2 million a rollover!

Wynn:rolleyes:

I usually only play when it is way up there over 100 million, and then I just buy one ticket. I haven't won anything, yet, but I haven't spent a lot of money either.

[wyntrout]

I guess you wouldn't be interested in this piddly $47 million Lotto pot then. Right now it's the best deal in the country, I'm sure. The odds are only about 23 million to 1... much better than any of those national games.

This Lotto has been rolling over since Sept. 17... 25 rollovers(edited) with increases of about $2 million each time. I've been increasing the amount I invest each time and I can't believe the jackpot is still not won.

Wynn:)

[JFootin]

I guess you wouldn't be interested in this piddly $47 million Lotto pot then. Right now it's the best deal in the country, I'm sure. The odds are only about 23 million to 1... much better than any of those national games.

This Lotto has been rolling over since Sept. 17... 25 rollovers(edited) with increases of about $2 million each time. I've been increasing the amount I invest each time and I can't believe the jackpot is still not won.

Wynn:)

Best of luck to you, Wynn! Remember me when you get that windfall! :wof:

[JFootin]

Remember when we were talking about the new threads disappearing? Well, first time I pulled up KT late this morning, there were only 5 threads listed with new posts. I knew that wasn't right, so I used the Quick Links/Today's Posts link and got about 50 threads with new posts since I went to bed last night. About 10 or 12 threads from the top of the list, I found this note: "The threads below have not been updated since your last visit or since forums have been marked read." Do you see that last phrase? I think it takes Moderator privilege, but there is a Mark Forums Read link under Quick Links, and I'll bet someone is doing that occasionally. Or else, the forum software does it automatically based on elapsed time, number of threads or something.

[Bawanna]

It must be doing it automatically, I don't think any mods have the time to be doing that. Being the computer wizard that I am I wouldn't have a clue how to do it if I wanted to and I dont' want to any way.

I have encountered that since it first came up, I normally just use new post and just go back to new post each time. Sometimes it just dumps a bunch and I do what you did.

Hate to miss anything you know?

[JFootin]

Andrew McCarthy excoriates National Review for unbalanced hatchet piece on Newt Gingrich. Good article. Conservatives who trust National Review might need to change their minds.

http://www.nationalreview.com/articles/286053/gingrich-s-virtues-andrew-c-mccarthy

[O'Dell]

I usually only play when it is way up there over 100 million, and then I just buy one ticket. I haven't won anything, yet, but I haven't spent a lot of money either.

I've never bought a lottery ticket and I figure my chances of winning are the same as yours out to a few 1000st of a percentage point. :D

[JFootin]

I've never bought a lottery ticket and I figure my chances of winning are the same as yours out to a few 1000st of a percentage point. :D

But it's kinda fun to buy one and hope! :D

[Bawanna]

After many many years of wondering why I never won I was told I had to buy a ticket. (who knew). Never have bought one, still would like to win. Even that measly 47 Million would help make ends meet with a little left over for maybe 50 new guns to boot if I shop wisely.

I think I'd build a new house around a man cave rather than fit a man cave into an existing house. Perhaps I should say Gun Cave. (sorry Melissa) I know I'll never again have a laundry room between the living quarters and the man cave.

[wyntrout]

I spent $136 a drawing on the Lotto here the last two drawings. I figure I've spent over $1400 chasing this one jackpot, but December 10th I got 5 out of 6 and a bunch of other lesser prizes. I was paying $2 a ticket to get the Extra multiplier which was 4X that night, turning my $3800+ 5 out of 6 into $15K+. This netted me 127 Benjamins and one Jackson after they withheld 1/4 of the largest prize for taxes. My "gross" for that particular drawing was $17,007 counting all of the lesser prizes.

http://i1134.photobucket.com/albums/m620/wyntrout/12-10-2011%20lotto/12720.jpg

I'm ahead and I'll have a pretty good write-off for the year but not enough to cover all of the "winnings". It has been a long dry spell, but this recoups our savings from expenditure these last two months of the year... almost as much as I "won".



I can't complain, but I would still like the BIG one... only two more drawings before Christmas! Gotta buy some more tickets... for the next 3 draws, since we're leaving before ChristmasWith two tooth implants, Volvo repairs, plane tickets for Christmas visit to SW CO, my Thanksgiving trip to S. IL, etc., I really have spent that much already, especially with Lotto ticket purchases. I just left the dentist office from having my new implant tooth's bite adjusted and got scheduled for a bite guard after Christmas... another $450 to pay.

I need to buy tickets for the next 3 drawings so I'll have that covered until we return!

Wynn:)

[Bawanna]

Damn, that's a pretty picture Wyn. I don't think I ever saw that much money at one time. I had 6 Benjamins all at once one time but that was a long time ago.

Would now be a good time to tell you about bawanna's redistribution of wealth plan? It's a win, win program, mostly for bawanna.

[JFootin]

Congratulations, Wynn!!! I've never had that much good luck my whole life. You must have been born under a good sign. Me? Flip a coin 100 times and I'll lose about 70 times! :mad:

[getsome]

Heads I win, Tails you lose...simple as that...I tried playing the cash 3 number game here for one year, 1 buck a day just to see what happened...I lost $365.00 and gave up...Us Irish are supposed to be lucky but when they gave out luck I thought they said duck and went and hid...:behindsofa:

[wyntrout]

This was my second largest pot and the third over $1000. I wager quite a bit, so I have "worked" at winning and had really long dry spells, which are discouraging.

I've had more than my share of luck with a lot of things... my best luck was finding my wife and "tricking" her into marrying me.:D

Like I said, this has been a costly last two months this year and certainly gives us a better start on the next one. I could still use another $50K or more to fix up the house... pay someone to do what I keep putting off... procrastination being the only thing I don't put off. :D

Wynn:)

[Bawanna]

Heads I win, Tails you lose...simple as that...I tried playing the cash 3 number game here for one year, 1 buck a day just to see what happened...I lost $365.00 and gave up...Us Irish are supposed to be lucky but when they gave out luck I thought they said duck and went and hid...:behindsofa:

Man sounds like me. I didn't know I was Irish though. Wonder if I get more disability money for that?

[wyntrout]

Getsome, I usually "budget" more than that a month, covering the Fantasy 5, the Mega Money and the FL Lotto and the Power Ball. Long dry spells are the rule and it is very discouraging, so getting a little back like this makes me feel better... not ALL of the money went down a rat hole... contributions to the state's coffers for education. A lot of people think that the Lotto money pays for the education in FL, but the entire income for the state since they started the lotteries, is only about one year's budget now. I've contributed quite a bit.

Wynn:)

[wyntrout]

This was ONE of many tickets. The others totaled $440 and the total on this one ticket with all of the prizes on it totaled $16,567. If they had called "11" instead of "19", I would have won the big one.



I have been trying to figure out how much I've spent chasing this one jackpot ($49 million for the 21st) and come up with about $1,400 to $1,500... so far!

Wynn:)

[getsome]

Holy shomoley Winn, Whats it like to be one of the top 1% income people I keep hearing about?....:p

[wyntrout]

Uh... not quite there... $17K before taxes didn't change out tax bracket. I do expect to get some more money back after I itemize this year. I haven't been able to do that for a few years... decreasing house payments and interest... due to decreasing house value, too... less taxes to "write off". I DID get some of my escrow back today because of those reasons.

Wynn:)

[TheTman]

Congrats on the win Wynn. I think I've won 1 thing in my life,and that was something goofy I can't even remember what it was. I have won some very small lottery's, like $5 or $2. I rarely even buy tickets anymore. I figure if God intends me to be rich he'll present me an oppurtunity to do so. At least he lets me live fairly comfortably, nothing lavish at all, and once in awhile I get to buy a new gun. I'm happy.

[jeepster09]

I spent $136 a drawing on the Lotto here the last two drawings. I figure I've spent over $1400 chasing this one jackpot, but December 10th I got 5 out of 6 and a bunch of other lesser prizes. I was paying $2 a ticket to get the Extra multiplier which was 4X that night, turning my $3800+ 5 out of 6 into $15K+. This netted me 127 Benjamins and one Jackson after they withheld 1/4 of the largest prize for taxes. My "gross" for that particular drawing was $17,007 counting all of the lesser prizes.

http://i1134.photobucket.com/albums/m620/wyntrout/12-10-2011%20lotto/12720.jpg

I'm ahead and I'll have a pretty good write-off for the year but not enough to cover all of the "winnings". It has been a long dry spell, but this recoups our savings from expenditure these last two months of the year... almost as much as I "won".



I can't complain, but I would still like the BIG one... only two more drawings before Christmas! Gotta buy some more tickets... for the next 3 draws, since we're leaving before ChristmasWith two tooth implants, Volvo repairs, plane tickets for Christmas visit to SW CO, my Thanksgiving trip to S. IL, etc., I really have spent that much already, especially with Lotto ticket purchases. I just left the dentist office from having my new implant tooth's bite adjusted and got scheduled for a bite guard after Christmas... another $450 to pay.

I need to buy tickets for the next 3 drawings so I'll have that covered until we return!

Wynn:)


Got me beat........here is all I get!


http://i691.photobucket.com/albums/vv276/jeepster09/worms.jpg

[JFootin]

I've won $2 a couple of times in the lottery. Don't play it often at all. Won a $5 Amazon discount at PCH, used it to cover shipping on my next order. I'm always looking for them at my door with the flowers and the huge check! :rolleyes: Biggest thing I ever won was a nice GE microwave oven as a door prize at the sales meeting of a company I worked for back in the mid-70s.

[OldLincoln]

The odds are terrible but the award wonderful. Kinda like risk assessment in reverse. I don't expect to win because of the odds but buy 1 quick pick ticket. Why? Because I have the same odds as the guy who won the last big one, and the one before that. They didn't really expect to win either, but you have to play to win. It's worth a dollar just in case.

My dad used to play until one time he got carried away chasing a big one and bought 100 tickets for that draw. He did not win a single buck, was disgusted and gave it up.

[kahrseye]

Way to go Wynn. If it couldn't be me I'm glad it was you. I hope you hit the big one too! Good Luck.

[wyntrout]

Thanks everyone. I try not to get us in a bind financially and things have gone my way a few times, for which I'm grateful. Since we got to Florida, I've done better at the lottery than the stock market, but both can be disheartening when you get little or no return... or worse... it seems you're just throwing money down a rat hole year after year... with either one. It's definitely not for everyone and you shouldn't play for more than you can afford to lose.

I took the hurricane fund to the gun show here Sunday, but I still didn't see anything I want to "pull the trigger on"". I really did consider a Springfield XD45 Tactical... NIB for $509, including "the Davidson warranty"... or so it said on the price tag.

I did buy a flashlight. I saw a table with a bunch of tactical lights and I looked at several of the smaller ones. The guy seemed knowledgeable about the products and asked if I was military or anything. I said retired military and he dropped the price from $65 to $55 for the small PowerTac Cadet light. Then he offered the light and two C123 batteries for $50... I folded and bought the light. checked with my phone online and saw they were going for about $70, so I think that I did okay. It has really good features and is SMALL... rated at 300 lumens and an intelligent power system and beam type selection so that the end button just turns it on and off from the last selection.

The clip is oriented so that you can clip the light to the bill of your cap and free up both hands... something I've always wanted.

http://www.amazon.com/PowerTac-Cadet-Portable-Flashlight-Moonlight/dp/B006H5618C


Wynn:)

[wyntrout]

That can of worms could represent a freezer full of fish... or a meal... if you're inclined to that type of "food".

Wynn:)

[JFootin]

Chuck Woolery on cutting the budget. Hillarious!

http://www.youtube.com/v/KV-RqPtT2PU?version=3&feature=player_embedded

[JFootin]

Political Science for Dummies

DEMOCRAT
You have two cows.
Your neighbor has none.
You feel guilty for being successful.
You push for higher taxes so the government can provide cows for everyone.

REPUBLICAN
You have two cows.
Your neighbor has none.
So?

SOCIALISM
You have two cows.
The government takes one and gives it to your neighbor.
You form a cooperative to tell him how to manage his cow.

COMMUNISM
You have two cows.
The government seizes both and provides you with milk.
You wait in line for hours to get it.
It is expensive and sour.

CAPITALISM, AMERICAN STYLE
You have two cows.
You sell one, buy a bull, and build a herd of cows.

BUREAUCRACY, AMERICAN STYLE
You have two cows.
Under the new farm program the government pays you to shoot one, milk the other, and then pour the milk down the drain.

AMERICAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You sell one, lease it back to yourself and do an IPO on the 2nd one.
You force the two cows to produce the milk of four cows.
You are surprised when one cow drops dead.
You spin an announcement to the analysts stating you have downsized and are reducing expenses.
Your stock goes up.

FRENCH CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You go on strike because you want three cows.
You go to lunch and drink wine.
Life is good.

JAPANESE CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk.
They learn to travel on unbelievably crowded trains.
Most are at the top of their class at cow school.

GERMAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You engineer them so they are all blond, drink lots of beer, give excellent quality milk, and run a hundred miles an hour.
Unfortunately they also demand 13 weeks of vacation per year.

ITALIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows but you don't know where they are.
You break for lunch.
Life is good.

RUSSIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You drink some vodka.
You count them and learn you have five cows.
You drink some more vodka.
You count them again and learn you have 42 cows.
The Mafia shows up and takes over all cows you really have.

TALIBAN CORPORATION
You have all the cows in Afghanistan . Exactly two.
You don't milk them because you cannot touch any creature's private parts.
You get a $40 million grant from the US government to find alternatives to milk production but use the money to buy weapons.

IRAQI CORPORATION
You have two cows.
They go into hiding.
They send radio tapes of their mooing.


POLISH CORPORATION
You have two bulls.
Employees are regularly maimed and killed attempting to milk them.

BELGIAN CORPORATION
You have one cow.
The cow is schizophrenic.
Sometimes the cow thinks he's French, other times he's Flemish.
The Flemish cow won't share with the French cow.
The French cow wants control of the Flemish cow's milk.
The cow asks permission to be cut in half.
The cow dies happy.

FLORIDA CORPORATION
You have a black cow and a brown cow.
Everyone votes for the best looking one.
Some of the people who actually like the brown one best accidentally vote for the black one.
Some people vote for both.
Some people vote for neither.
Some people can't figure out how to vote at all.
Finally, a bunch of guys from out-of-state tell you which one you think is the best looking cow.

CALIFORNIA CORPORATION
You have millions of cows.
They make real California cheese.
Only five speak English.
Most are illegal.
Arnold likes the ones with the big udders.

[jeepster09]

:yo: lmao....

[skiflydive]

An interesting letter in the Australian Shooter Magazine this week:

"If you consider that there has been an average of 160,000 troops in the Iraq Theater of operations during the past 22 months, and a total of 2112 deaths, that gives a firearm death rate of 60 per 100,000 soldiers.

The firearm death rate in Washington, DC is 80.6 per 100,000 for the same period. That means you are about 25 per cent more likely to be shot and killed in the US capital which has some of the strictest gun control laws in the U..S., than you are in Iraq .

Conclusion: The U.S. should pull out of Washington .

[JFootin]

"Conclusion: The U.S. should pull out of Washington."

Yeah!!! Good one! :tongue:

[kahrseye]

an interesting letter in the australian shooter magazine this week:

"if you consider that there has been an average of 160,000 troops in the iraq theater of operations during the past 22 months, and a total of 2112 deaths, that gives a firearm death rate of 60 per 100,000 soldiers.

The firearm death rate in washington, dc is 80.6 per 100,000 for the same period. That means you are about 25 per cent more likely to be shot and killed in the us capital which has some of the strictest gun control laws in the u..s., than you are in iraq .

Conclusion: The u.s. Should pull out of washington .

amen brother!

[JFootin]

Christmas Flash Mob

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vnt7euRF5Pg

[kahrseye]

Roger, 85, married Jenny, a lovely 25 year old.

Since her new husband is so old, Jenny decides that after their wedding she and Roger should have separate bedrooms, because she is concerned that her new but aged husband may over-exert himself if they spend the entire night together.

After the wedding festivities Jenny prepares herself for bed and the expected knock on the door. Sure enough the knock comes, the door opens and there is Roger, her 85 year old groom, ready for action. They unite as one. All goes well, Roger takes leave of his bride, and she prepares to go to sleep.

After a few minutes, Jenny hears another knock on her bedroom door, and it's Roger. Again he is ready for more 'action'. Somewhat surprised, Jenny consents for more coupling. When the newlyweds are done, Roger kisses his bride, bids her a fond good night and leaves.

She is set to go to sleep again, but, aha, you guessed it - Roger is back again, rapping on the door and is as fresh as a 25-year-old, ready for more 'action'. And, once more they enjoy each other.

But as Roger gets set to leave again, his young bride says to him, 'I am thoroughly impressed that at your age you can perform so well and so often. I have been with guys less than a third of your age who were only good once. You are truly a great lover, Roger.'

Roger, somewhat embarrassed, turns to Jenny and says, 'You mean I was here already?'

The moral of the story:

Don’t be afraid of getting old, Alzheimer's has its advantages.

PS.. Have I sent this to you already?